Twilight sucks.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:33 am

ah, ok, I was just spouting back stuff my ex told me about it when we were talked about doing a game of it...

Parthenon · Post by **Parthenon** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:54 am

Well, Hogwarts has a spell in place to stop teleportation, why not insemination?

In fact, remove all sexual desires. It would make cleaning up the boys dormitories so much nicer for the house elves and help keep all the students minds on the subjects.

I can actually see that sort of sex ed, with Hagrid teaching them basic biology. Wait a moment, Hagrid? Biology? Nah. Just like they don't get taught maths or foreign languages. In a lot of schools in England you get taught either German or French, at least up to GCSEs.

As a derail, I always get confused about what to call the various levels of qualifications in schools because they are different around the world and I don't want to confuse others by talking about things they don't know about. Do I call them GCSEs, O levels, state the equivalent year of schooling (although I always get confused by the American junior/senior/whatever), say the age or what? If I say that it is year 9 how many people will know what I'm on about? From a very quick internet check the high school diploma looks pretty much useless.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 5:31 am

Well, I'd say I couldn't see an advanced magical society getting by without learning basics such as math and at least some biology, but then this same society supposedly doesn't know how to dress like a person from the mundane society... despite all logic saying they could just GO FUCKING LOOK

Rowling.... leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to world building...

Murtak · Post by **Murtak** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:37 am

Prak_Anima wrote:Well, I'd say I couldn't see an advanced magical society getting by without learning basics such as math and at least some biology, but then this same society supposedly doesn't know how to dress like a person from the mundane society... despite all logic saying they could just GO FUCKING LOOK

Rowling.... leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to world building...

I have other examples for crappy world-building but not knowing how to blend into a non-magical world isn't one as far as I am concerned. Go ahead and try to blend into the ghetto parts of any big city. You will be recognized as a stranger within seconds, even with much less of a cultural barrier between that world and yours. Now try the fan crowd of a soccer match, a trading card tournament, a chess tournament and the opera. Blending into a different world is hard.

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:57 am

I've only read HP books 1 through 5 and I can say that while Prak Anima is overstating the case, he has a point.

Blending into the mundane world isn't like trying to imitate a specific subculture. If you're going for appearance, as long as you wear pants and a shirt (or a muted color of dress as a female) you should be able to blend in.

I don't take the 'wizards don't know what jeans are' bit too personally. Yes, they should know what they are considering that a huge number of them interact with the 'real' UK regularly. But honestly that's like getting upset that Naruto wears orange and blue. I don't think it's lazy or bad writing, I think it's just a way of going 'OMG cultures are so different' in an amusing and harmless way.

PoliteNewb · Post by **PoliteNewb** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:26 pm

Murtak wrote:Go ahead and try to blend into the ghetto parts of any big city. You will be recognized as a stranger within seconds, even with much less of a cultural barrier between that world and yours. Now try the fan crowd of a soccer match, a trading card tournament, a chess tournament and the opera. Blending into a different world is hard.

I have to disagree, at least slightly. We're not talking about "wizards don't understand slang, or idioms, or certain mannerisms, or look uncomfortable in muggle neighborhoods". We're talking about supposedly magical dudes who actually think wearing a ball gown and galoshes (for a man) is suitable everyday attire.

I may look out of place at the opera (even dressed to the nines), but if I just scry on a couple of operas, I can probably figure out "hmm, nobody is wearing bowling shirts or safari pith hats" and dress accordingly. Apparently Rowling's wizards can't do that, despite all the other funky shit they can do.

It's like she took the "from a different world" trope and cranked the dial up to 11. It's a little ridiculous, because it requires ENORMOUS suspension of disbelief.

violence in the media · Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:46 pm

Parthenon wrote:As a derail, I always get confused about what to call the various levels of qualifications in schools because they are different around the world and I don't want to confuse others by talking about things they don't know about. Do I call them GCSEs, O levels, state the equivalent year of schooling (although I always get confused by the American junior/senior/whatever), say the age or what? If I say that it is year 9 how many people will know what I'm on about? From a very quick internet check the high school diploma looks pretty much useless.

A rough layout of the American system:

Pre-K (children aged 3-4, usually)
Kindergarten (age 5)
Elementary School, grades 1 through 5 (ages 6 to 10/11)
Middle School, grades 6 through 8 (ages 10/11 to 12/13)
High School (where you get Freshmen, Sophmores, Juniors, and Seniors), grades 9 through 12 (ages 13/14 to 17/18 )

Some areas have a Junior High that screws up the general layout, by pushing 6th grade to Elemantary school and taking 9th and sometimes 10th grade from High School. This may or may not leave 7th and 8th grade as Middle School. Private schools often encompass grades K through 8, with some offering K through 12.

College/University comes after High School and abandons the grade level designation and uses the Freshman/Sophmore/Junior/Senior classification based upon the number of completed credit hours. Though Junior/Community College is sometimes derogatorily referred to as "13th grade."

Parthenon · Post by **Parthenon** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:36 pm

Thanks violence.

So, England has compulsory years 1-11 with ages of 5-16 whereas America has years 1-12 with ages of 6-18. England's year 8's are 1 year younger than Americas year 8s. I can see that being really confusing.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:36 pm

Parthenon wrote: I can actually see that sort of sex ed, with Hagrid teaching them basic biology. Wait a moment, Hagrid? Biology? Nah. Just like they don't get taught maths or foreign languages. In a lot of schools in England you get taught either German or French, at least up to GCSEs.

As a derail, I always get confused about what to call the various levels of qualifications in schools because they are different around the world and I don't want to confuse others by talking about things they don't know about. Do I call them GCSEs, O levels, state the equivalent year of schooling (although I always get confused by the American junior/senior/whatever), say the age or what? If I say that it is year 9 how many people will know what I'm on about? From a very quick internet check the high school diploma looks pretty much useless.

In, one sense, I can understand the idea of them not knowing Pants. As the restriction on having access to the Muggle world leaves them without knowing such things even when they see it on the train station etc..

But the trope exaggeration is too much.

But on the point of Parthenon's derail: Here you go

Judging__Eagle · Post by **Judging__Eagle** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:24 am

Twilight sucks b/c of really bad relationship models, some really nasty character interaction that is then completely ignored, and the fact that there is no challenge or conflict really going on.

It's a mary-sue book about the author wanting to bang the founder of mormonism.

Parthenon · Post by **Parthenon** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:01 am

My main point behind the derail was that when talking about qualifications or schooling I'm never sure whether to just use the British school system, use the age (even though that can be off by a school year) because theres probably only a small proportion of the Den from the UK, put the American equivalent in brackets, or what. While I or whoevers reading it can look it up on Google each time or link to another page, I'd rather write it out in a format that the majority of people can understand without needing to google it or go to other pages. And when the American Year system is one year behind the British one then if I just state that it is year 7 then it is easily misunderstood.

Does anyone else try to use terms or phrases from different parts of the world (including in brackets or as an aside) so that a larger proportion of people get it without looking it up or do they just use what they would normally use in conversations with peers in the same location?

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:16 am

Parthenon wrote:Does anyone else try to use terms or phrases from different parts of the world (including in brackets or as an aside) so that a larger proportion of people get it without looking it up or do they just use what they would normally use in conversations with peers in the same location?

Yes, I do (I have a lot of foreign friends). Especially when it comes to measurements.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Jul 16, 2009 5:36 am

A_Cynic wrote:In, one sense, I can understand the idea of them not knowing Pants. As the restriction on having access to the Muggle world leaves them without knowing such things even when they see it on the train station etc..

But the trope exaggeration is too much.

especially since two relatively major supporting characters could go right from hogwarts to main street and, other than bodily oddities, or period of dress, be just fine, Hagrid and, er... what ever the custodian's name is... The movies kind of do away with the trope somewhat, it seems, since outside of class the kids are dressed normally.

Ganbare Gincun · Post by **Ganbare Gincun** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:45 am

At least we got a good RiffTrax out of it!

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 8:30 am

Movies are horrible at this. It's not the fault of the movies movies usually.

You are given a budget and told to stay within the budget. You are told to to stay on schedule. You are told to stay on location. You are told to adhere the different union rules. There are quite a few different things to juggle for a director and when a costume department comes to you near shooting time to make several changes, it sucks. This is just one scenario. It isn't the costume department's fault.

The costume dept has one of the wost budgets on staff as well while the special effects one of the greatests. So it sucks.

Kobajagrande · Post by **Kobajagrande** » Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:36 am

Twilight rocks.

I mean, I haven't actually read anything of it, nor I intend to, nor I would if threatened to do so by a gun against my head, but from everything that I heard, it rocks.

I mean, it completely dispels the whole "Vampires are cool because they are dark and tragic figures" bullshit mentality. Here, you have all that, except they are quite obviously [EDITED], pedophiles and sissies.

And, as ultimate insult to all vampire fandom, they sparkle. No more "alas, I cannot see the light of the day" crap. Here you go kid who thinks that being "dark and tragic" is the height of character development. Now your dark and tragic figure... Sparkles! Enjoy that.

Really, the only thing I regret is that the woman who wrote it didn't do that intentionally, but that she was serious.

Mask_De_H · Post by **Mask_De_H** » Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:19 am

When you look at it as a giant trolling of the Rice model of vamps then yeah, it doesn't suck as hard. The seriousness of all involved harshes the cool that entails a fair bit though.

Absentminded_Wizard · Sat Jul 18, 2009 10:22 am

Kobajagrande wrote:I mean, it completely dispels the whole "Vampires are cool because they are dark and tragic figures" bullshit mentality. Here, you have all that, except they are quite obviously [EDITED], pedophiles and sissies.

I think it's amusing, when women in their 20s who have an obvious thing for the vampire boyfriend talk about Twilight, to say, "Is that the book with the sparkling gay vampires?"

MGuy · Post by **MGuy** » Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:43 am

I had never even heard about Twilight before the movie commercials and even looking at THOSE I knew it would suck. I would have never seen the amount of it I did (I went to sleep to stop myself from shoving a spoon up my ass to alleviate the pain) had I not been bribed (I didn't have to pay and food was bought for me) by one of the people who came with. After seeing the last 20 minutes of the movie (I woke up to a friend of mine laughing at the silliness of it all) I had a 4 hour long conversation with another friend (male) who was trying to defend the book. So I asked him... What was the book about. Suffice it to say I will never be looking at the book and I shall treat any new movies that come out for it the same way I treat movies like DBZ the Movie, Eragon, and Wolverine Origins; avoiding it at all costs.

angelfromanotherpin · Mon Jul 27, 2009 11:59 am

A bunch of my friends hung out by the movie premiere handing out vanilla popsicles with glitter on them, labeled as 'Edward dildos.' Because apparently his flesh is always icy cold.

TOZ · Post by **TOZ** » Mon Jul 27, 2009 10:25 pm

God, they had it on as the in-flight movie. I tried to ignore it, but there was nothing else to look at. >.<

Ganbare Gincun · Post by **Ganbare Gincun** » Tue Jul 28, 2009 1:17 am

Sparkly vampires.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Tue Jul 28, 2009 3:15 am

Heh, well, I'll repost some stuff:

Here's a site's review of Twilight
http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/ ... nie-meyer/

And here's some analysis of Edward.

http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/ ... ut-edward/

The website reviews romance novels and takes the bad with the good. And, in some cases, makes fun of the bad. Like those damn covers.

Ganbare Gincun · Post by **Ganbare Gincun** » Sun Aug 02, 2009 7:19 pm

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:37 am

I maintain the idea I had earlier is at least likely to produce some amusing and entertaining results.

Combine Blade 3 and Twilight, with lines like "Cock Juggling Thunder [EDITED]" aimed at Bella...