Moments when a piece of entertainment completely lost you.

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Mon Aug 10, 2009 8:46 am

Well, I was surprised by the fact that when going back I couldn't point to a specific episode and go 'okay, this was when the show jumped the shark'.

... hmm, well, Tavin getting killed off so quickly might be that point when I think about it.

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Mon Aug 10, 2009 9:20 pm

violence in the media wrote:Tbut I can't recall anything in there stressing importance about Sam being white. Same thing with Wesley in Wanted. I mean, yeah, the characters and actors are white, but so what? Would either of those movie plots be more acceptable, assuming nothing else were changed, if those parts were played by John Leguziamo and will Smith?

The point being, the movie would not have been made without the white kid.

-Crissa

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 2:35 am

Crissa wrote:The point being, the movie would not have been made without the white kid.

You really think so? The only real role definition that I could see was age - youth works a bit better, I think.

FWIW - I liked Wanted. The problem was that they tried to apply real world principles to abilities clearly not real. But if it's just a set of semi-mystical talents that can be learned by the dedicated, then that's OK... A fifth level Assassin of Fate gains the ability to cast Haste once every 1d4 rounds. S'cool.

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:50 am

I really think so.

Every other movie by a foreign star has to have a white kid in it - even british stars, if you'd believe, so maybe it isn't entirely race - if it wants Hollywood money spent on it.

And it's why Uwe Boll's last film was better than Michael Bay's, even if a hundred times less money was spent on it and assvertising it. Even though Uwe Boll pretty much sucks as a filmmaker.

-Crissa

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:21 am

That's a tough call. We're talking Stoic vs. Transformers 2. Both very bad movies.

But you can find people who Like Stoic. Everyone acknowledges that Transformers 2 is incomprehensible garbage.

-Username17

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 7:27 am

My sister saw G.I. Joe today.

She said it's better than she thought it'd be. Haven't gotten too many details out of her, because she mentioned that before she went to bed, right after I came in from work.

Ganbare Gincun · Post by **Ganbare Gincun** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 10:42 pm

FrankTrollman wrote:Everyone acknowledges that Transformers 2 is incomprehensible garbage.

TransFans love it. But you could show a video of a man dressed up in an Optimus Prime outfit eating out of a colostomy bag and they would love it.

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:29 pm

What's this about the Decepticons making a slutty robot to seduce some high school twit?

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:33 pm

Actually, you know what? Could someone here give me a hate-filled review of the movie?

Phone Lobster? I know you're there and you've never let me down on the hate before. Give daddy Lago the medicine he needz.

PhoneLobster · Post by **PhoneLobster** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:38 am

I hated it so much I didn't watch it.

The end.

MGuy · Post by **MGuy** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:18 am

What a lovely story ^.^

Trans 2 was the typical American movie it had violence and giant robots. And just to add to the pot they put some sex in it. It was the Tri-fecta. I appreciate movies like that. I always say that action movies are never gonna have good plots. So to compensate they should add in as much violence as they can. I loved Shoot'em Up not (just) because it was mindless violence but that no one even ATTEMPTED to give it a a half decent story. It knew what it was and was named appropriately.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 5:25 am

I'm so glad I didn't watch/collect Transformers as a kid. Seriously, I randomly had one Transformer figure at one point, not including a Hungry Jacks toy (it's a robot that turns into a burger. No, seriously, and from reviews of the movie, I have the feeling it's not the most stupid thing ever).

This way, it's no skin off my back that it exists solely to piss off the fanbase.

Didn't watch it, for the record, but mostly out of ambivalence.

Parthenon · Post by **Parthenon** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:31 am

I've tried writing up a hate filled review a couple of times but it ends up waaay too long. Here are the highlights.

[*]The transformers, especially the autobots, are retards and massive dicks. They often can't read or write, make insanely stupid decisions such as attacking a well defended military base rather than an undefended porn actress, or instead of using a proven method of raising the dead go on a huge stupid journey involving deus ex machina and idiocy that has no reason to work.

Its shown that autobot/decepticon is a stupid distinction without meaning and that every time the autobots have been killing peaceful decepticons they are even more massive dicks because they could have converted them.

[*]The plot makes no sense. It makes me want to rip out my teeth to distract me from thinking about it. Retroactive continuity, inability to count, deus ex machina, stupid macguffins.... urgh.

[*]The film is sex obsessed. With a fetish for Megan Fox. The number of dick or sex act jokes, dogs or robots humping things, robots in lust with humans, sexbots with 10ft prehensile dicks, giant robots teabagging pyramids.... urgh.

All in all, a 6 year old with a box of toys could come up with a better story than this. Why not make a film that is U rather than 13 so that more kids get interested in the toys? Why not make the transformers not the same shade of grey so I can actually tell them apart? Why include sex at all? Why do we have to have morality with shades of grey with kids toys? Can we please have a view that lets us see what is actually happening?

My last thought is that I wonder whether the kids toys do have giant testicles hanging from the toy.

Sunwitch · Post by **Sunwitch** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:47 pm

There's fairly blatant racism and sexism pretty much all over the place as well, not to mention weird military propaganda and questionable politics in general. I got the idea that Michael Bay was very angry about something during the writing of it. The writing is god-awful and the action is slow and hard to follow. Honestly, I went into Transformers 2 expecting a BAD movie, and what I got was absolutely offensive.

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:26 pm

Song of the South offensive or Threshold offensive?

A little bit of racial/gender stupidity is a hallmark of really bad movies. After all Manos had blatant (though not explicit) necrophilia and pedophilia in it.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:05 pm

to be fair, not even the decepticons know they really get a choice in alignment, though, also, to be fair, it seems to be because they're all idiots.

As I've said, yes it was horrible, I went in expecting that, but it was entertaining enough... I just groaned about every 30 seconds, whether because of fetishism for Megan Fox, or those damned twins, which, apparently, aren't supposed to be black, apparently they're supposed to be a spoof of wiggers.

yeah, sure mikey, whatever you say...

Sir Neil · Post by **Sir Neil** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:09 pm

Lago PARANOIA wrote:What's this about the Decepticons making a slutty robot to seduce some high school twit?

Yup, a Decepticon Pretender.

Cielingcat · Post by **Cielingcat** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:25 pm

Does the robot end up falling in love with the high school twit, or were they not willing to go quite that far?

MGuy · Post by **MGuy** » Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:36 pm

*hasn't seen the movie* I'd venture a guess that for the Average American storyline it is more likely that it created a "hilarious" rift between Joe Nobody and his "I'm an Edgy Girl" friend that gets resolved before the end of the movie.

Parthenon · Post by **Parthenon** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 12:28 am

@Cielingcat: The decepticon sexbot? It seduces Shia and then while making out tries to kill him with its 10ft prehensile dick.

@MGuy: Yeah. They refuse to say "I love you", Shia regularly ignores her, forgets about the webcam sessions, gets caught making out with the dickgirl robot, wacky adventures ensue and they only get resolved then Shia dies and only when dead is willing to say the L word. Because saying "I love you" resolves all relationship issues.

You know, there are three characters in this film that are brought back from the dead. More necromancy than any other summer move this year.

So, what have I learnt from this film?

[*]Black people are all uneducated idiots who don't get on with anyone.
[*]Dickgirls will try and break up your relationship. Then kill you.
[*]Death isn't really all that final.
[*]As long as you believe something will work, as long as you spend enough effort on it a Deus Ex Machina will save the day.
[*]As long as you call a group good they are good, even if they are massive dicks and kill people unnecessarily.
[*]Obama is evil and gives in to terrorist demands.
[*]Later generations are always worse than the previous one: things really were better in the old days.
[*]Parents are fucking retards and you should feel ashamed of them having anything to do with drugs or sex.

Its a great film for kids!

Cielingcat · Post by **Cielingcat** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 2:15 am

Parthenon wrote:@Cielingcat: The decepticon sexbot? It seduces Shia and then while making out tries to kill him with its 10ft prehensile dick.

I honestly don't know if that's worse than it falling in love with him and renouncing its evil ways because of him.

I mean fuck, 10 foot prehensile penises.

Ganbare Gincun · Post by **Ganbare Gincun** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 2:39 am

Lago PARANOIA wrote:Manos had blatant (though not explicit) necrophilia and pedophilia in it.

Let's not forget about its racist portrayal of Satyrs!

Sunwitch · Post by **Sunwitch** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 7:08 am

Prak_Anima wrote:or those damned twins, which, apparently, aren't supposed to be black, apparently they're supposed to be a spoof of wiggers.

Even if that was true, every other racial minority in the movie was part of the comic relief as well. And they were humans. So unless they have some sort of skin disease, that point's pretty much moot.

E: Parthenon: You forgot "Egyptian midgets fucking love New York".

Absentminded_Wizard · Thu Aug 13, 2009 11:16 am

Parthenon wrote:@Cielingcat: The decepticon sexbot? It seduces Shia and then while making out tries to kill him with its 10ft prehensile dick.

@MGuy: Yeah. They refuse to say "I love you", Shia regularly ignores her, forgets about the webcam sessions, gets caught making out with the dickgirl robot, wacky adventures ensue and they only get resolved then Shia dies and only when dead is willing to say the L word. Because saying "I love you" resolves all relationship issues.

You know, there are three characters in this film that are brought back from the dead. More necromancy than any other summer move this year.

So, what have I learnt from this film?

[*]Black people are all uneducated idiots who don't get on with anyone.
[*]Dickgirls will try and break up your relationship. Then kill you.
[*]Death isn't really all that final.
[*]As long as you believe something will work, as long as you spend enough effort on it a Deus Ex Machina will save the day.
[*]As long as you call a group good they are good, even if they are massive dicks and kill people unnecessarily.
[*]Obama is evil and gives in to terrorist demands.
[*]Later generations are always worse than the previous one: things really were better in the old days.
[*]Parents are fucking retards and you should feel ashamed of them having anything to do with drugs or sex.

Its a great film for kids!

So basically it's Fox News with tranny porn?

MGuy · Post by **MGuy** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:40 pm

Couldn't be Fox news. Fox claims to represent reality everyone knows Transformers is just a show for kids.