News that makes us laugh, cry, or both

[RobbyPants]

That's funny. It's like Poe's Law at work. They don't even see the humor or irony in it.

[Maj]

Tech News Daily[/url]]Man Infects Himself with Computer Virus

By Adam Hadhazy, TechNewsDaily Staff Writer
26 May 2010 11:42 AM ET

University of Reading researcher Mark Gasson has become the first human known to be infected by a computer virus.

The virus, infecting a chip implanted in Gasson's hand, passed into a laboratory computer. From there, the infection could have spread into other computer chips found in building access cards.

All this was intentional, in an experiment to see how simple radio-frequency identification (RFID) chips like those used for tracking animals can host and spread technological diseases.

The research shows that as implantable bionic devices such as pacemakers get more sophisticated in the years ahead, their security and the safety of the patients whose lives depend on them will become increasingly important, said Gasson.

"We should start to think of these devices as miniature computers," Gasson said. And just like everyday computers, they can get sick.

Down with disease

Gasson had a relatively simple chip implanted in the top of his left hand near his thumb last year. It emits a signal that is read by external sensors, allowing him access to the Reading laboratory and for his cell phone to operate.

He and his colleagues created a malicious code for the chip. When the lab's sensors read the code, the code inserted itself into the building computer database that governs who has access to the premises.

"The virus replicates itself through the database and potentially could copy itself onto the access cards that people use," Gasson said.

The experiment showed that implants which wirelessly communicate with other computers can infect them and vice versa.

Gasson said he knows of no instances to date of bionic devices having been contaminated by computer viruses. But the threat will grow with the number and complexity of these devices.

Besides pacemakers for people with heart trouble, other modern bionic devices include cochlear implants for the hearing impaired and deep brain stimulators – a "brain pacemaker" – for neurological conditions such as Parkinson's disease.

Years ahead, this surgically implanted hardware may not only be for people with medical conditions. Bionic enhancements, much like today's cosmetic surgery, could boost memories and IQs. A side effect mentioned in cases of deep brain simulation is patients who have experienced greater creativity, Gasson said.

Wash your digital hands

To fight communicable diseases caused by bacteria, viruses and fungi, we take precautions such as washing our hands.

To counter threats of technological agents, Gasson said we are quite accustomed to keeping our computers updated with antivirus software and exercising caution online. A similar degree of hygiene and awareness may be necessary to keep the devices in our bodies clean as well.

"I don’t think for us that [infectious technological agents] would be a particularly new concept, but implants in our bodies will make it a lot more real," Gasson told TechNewsDaily. "A denial-of-service attack on a pacemaker, if such a thing were possible, would of course be very detrimental."

[Username17]

It's awesome. The Teabaggers rant and the Liberals troll, and there is no way to tell them apart. Here are some actual posts up for voting on:

Require all Muslims in the U.S. to wear ankle bracelet transponders so we know where the terrorists are at all times. Like B. HUSSEIN Obama.

Do not elect anyone with ties to big business.No NWO

AMERICANS WONT ALL OUTDATED VISA'S AND ILLEGALS DEPORTED ASAP! WE NEED A SANCTION THAT DOES NOT ALLOW ANY NATION THAT IS ON THE TERROR WATCH LIST TO ALLOW FOR ANY TRAVEL INTO THE U.S. AND DUE TO THE INVASION AND WAR ON OUR SOUTHERN BORDER WE NEED OUR MILITARY TO SECURE THE ENTIRE SOUTHERN BORDER.

We need to train an army of Ninja Cats. Cats are natural born hunters and predators, and it is known that they indeed have 9 lives, many more than the typical human life (being one). They are also excellent at hiding themselves and would be ideal for sneaking into countries and assassinating communist leaders to lessen the ever growing threat of communism, finding key terrorist leaders and shattering the global terrorist network. In fact they could be potentially useful in the current Korean crisis. Loyal to their trainers, the cats could rain destruction and fear throughout the world, and if ever captured would never tell who they are serving. Finally, after they have solved the worlds problems, they could serve as border patrol and show unflinching resolve at keeping illegals where they belong, anywhere but here.

I mean sure. The last one is a joke. It has to be a joke. But is it really any stupider than the rest of the ideas?

-Username17

[RobbyPants]

Like I said earlier: "Poe's Law at work". You really can't tell.

[Maj]

Thanks, Frank.

[Koumei]

At first I thought it was an Onion article, then I remembered "No, this is actually real".

See, the things submitted there I expect: one part crazy Republicans, seven parts "lol Internet" (seriously, there are hackers on steroids who love this stuff).

But that they decided this whole thing is a good idea, that's the hilarious bit.

[Crissa]

Republican Senator pushes to amend law to broaden the federal crime of falsely claiming service to include falsely claiming to have been under fire or included in active war service. I'm not sure why he would do this, as that would include several sitting Republican Congressmen, Senators, and candidates... And maybe one Democrat. Oh, and two of three recent Republican Presidents (one now deceased).

-Crissa

[Blasted]

The site's going to keep me going the whole day.

"English is are official langauge. Anybody who ain't speak it the RIGHT way should kicked out." lol

[Koumei]

The site's going to keep me going the whole day.

"English is are official langauge. Anybody who ain't speak it the RIGHT way should kicked out." lol

I'm almost certain that's one of the trolls: it was previously seen on a sign held up at one of the random protests against black presidents.

[Blasted]

Of course it was, I'd be surprised if there were anything on the site that wasn't a troll TBH. Still funny.

[Crissa]

How could it be a troll, when it's repeating one of the most common winger screeds?

Anyhow:

-Crissa

[Parthenon]

Can't remember where, but they've specifically said that they're not going to change their minds about anything- they're going to keep to their principles.

So they're asking the American public for suggestions while telling them they're going to ignore anything they don't agree with, at the same time as putting their own suggestions in themselves, all the while messing around the first amendment on a site paid for by taxpayers. (Not entirely sure whether or not the first amendment comes into play here, but they are censoring just about all the suggestions of reducing defence budgets)

But then again, at one point the top tag was goatse, and one suggestion was tagged human-centipedology. I can understand ignoring the law to get rid of that.

[CatharzGodfoot]

How could it be a troll, when it's repeating one of the most common winger screeds?

Well, do trolls ever repeat others' statements in exaggerated fashion to attract attention?

Frank's original point holds: It is often unknowable whether the poster is sincere or just a troll.

[Crissa]

How could it be a troll, when it's repeating one of the most common winger screeds?

Well, do trolls ever repeat others' statements in exaggerated fashion to attract attention?

Yes, but that wasn't exaggerated in any way.

-Crissa

[Meikle641]

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/ ... Technology

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg2 ... ng-up.html

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg2 ... -real.html

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/article ... nk-Thyself

http://environment.nationalgeographic.c ... re/#page=1

[erik]

Sahuagin missing link found!

[Username17]

I'm pretty tepid on Obama in general, but every so often he makes a proclamation that makes me relieved he is in office.

-Username17

[Psychic Robot]

There's an LGBT pride month? Good grief.

[Maj]

Hey, May is Asian-Pacific pride month.

[Gnosticism Is A Hoot]

I'm pretty tepid on Obama in general, but every so often he makes a proclamation that makes me relieved he is in office.

-Username17

I'm pretty sure that June has been the unofficial LGBT Pride Month for a while now - but it is nice to have some official recognition of that fact.

[Psychic Robot]

Woman sues Google because she's dumb.

Turn right at the next intersection and continue for 3 miles. Oh, and watch out for any oncoming traffic.

A California woman is suing Google after she was hit by a car while following directions provided by Google Maps on her cell phone, according to AOL News.

Lauren Rosenberg says that the Google Maps BlackBerry application told her to use Deer Valley Drive -- a highway also called Utah State Route 224 -- to walk from one Park City address to another.

However, the directions did not tell her that there were no sidewalks along Deer Valley Drive, which, Rosenberg alleges, led to her being struck by traffic.

"As a direct and proximate cause of Defendant Google's careless, reckless and negligent providing of unsafe directions, Plaintiff Lauren Rosenberg was led onto a dangerous highway, and was thereby stricken by a motor vehicle, causing her to suffer severe permanent physical, emotional and mental injuries," according to the complaint filed in Park County district court.

Rosenberg is asking for Google to pay her medical expenses in addition to punitive damages and loss of earnings. She is also suing the driver of the vehicle, Patrick Harwood of Park City.

Google Maps warns users about walking directions on its version for computers, saying that "Walking directions are in beta. Use caution -- This route may be missing sidewalks or pedestrian paths." However, the mobile version of Google Maps does not come with the warning.

[endersdouble]

Sigh. I really hope they show the judge the first thing that pops up when you get walking directions:

Walking directions are in beta.
Use caution – This route may be missing sidewalks or pedestrian paths.

and it gets laughed out of court.

[Blasted]

That warning doesn't appear in the mobile version, which she was using.

[endersdouble]

True, but it does say:

Beta - use caution

due to space limitations.

[Blasted]

I got the impression that there was no warning, so maybe that is a recent addition or maybe the journalist is crap. I'm not going to bet on either of those lame horses.