Dom3: Revenge of the Den

[jimbojones1971]

Jimbo, I agree the dance is getting a little tedious. Where would you like to meet, other than our respective castles, I mean. If you hadn't picked a waste, I could have sieged you the first time, but the humanbreds started nailing the hobbits down near a flaming abysian and eating them when they were well roasted. It was bad for morale.

Yeah, we giants are famous for being big, not smart

I have it on good authority that Hobbits are good for fondue, btw. Dip the little blighters in boiling cheese and (if you can get past the screaming) you have a gourmet dish fit for a devil!

[Zinegata]

It's not actually true.

If Utgard is annexed by Abysia... then Caelum will be between you and me. Marignon's northern border is Abysia, while their eastern border is the sea.

So I'm not misrepresenting the situation if you annex Utgard in any way or form

You can certainly claim that you will stop attacking after you take Utgard and turtle. But even if you do turtle you'll still be left in a position of power - which isn't good news for Caelum and Marignon in the long term (as they'd be hemmed in), and definitely bad news for Utgard because they'd cease to exist.

Simple geography required I attack Utgard, as any other opponent would have made my borders absurdly elongated. It's a war game, and my territory is very economically feeble.

It's also a game of diplomacy however, and let's face it - Utgard has made a lot of friends - including Chelms.

Utgard is not just a simple geographical convenience. They're a fellow nation-player that's been pretty active on the diplomatic front, and I'm fairly sure that more than one player owes him.

Had you invaded say, Ermor instead, then Chelms wouldn't be protesting so much. Unless of course that results in Ermor firing the old age anthrax missiles into the atmosphere .

Also, that reminds me... Utgard, any aid requests for this turn?

As you would attest, people with excess income like to turtle, where they run out of profitable opportunities to posture on the way to further conquest.

Or I could have bumped up my military production until my income was almost entirely consumed by upkeep... and then I could have used those massive armies to conquer my weaker neighbors.

But again, I'm not doing that. Because I prefer to play using soft power. The massive gem income you keep panicking over isn't being hoarded to create something to doom the world. A lot of it is in fact going to help support various allied/friendly states .

[Zinegata]

Turn in. Korwin, any word on extending for Akula?

[Rabelais]

I doubt you could have recruited to the point of having an upkeep problem. You don't border ermor and your capital isn't almost totally surrounded by waste and swamp. Not to mention judge overtaxing and patrolling, and much greater native magic diversity for better scales. But it's irrelevant.

I would be happy to negotiate a peace with Utgard that leaves them their cap neighbors and eastern provinces, but it is very unlikely, as they would still be weakened and the (very large) monkey in the middle. I like Jimbo, he's smart and funny. if I had any other plausible strategic option, I would have taken it.

I dont think I represent nearly the threat to anyone but Utgard that you do, as collective action (if necessary) would deal with me well enough for the foreseeable future. I'm not even particularly winning my (currently) one-on one war. The window for dealing with your power accumulation, on the other hand, even with collective action, is closing rapidly.

I support a delay for Akula as well, if anyone is counting.

[Korwin]

Turn in. Korwin, any word on extending for Akula?

Thanks, missed Akulas post.
Turn postphoned for 24 hours.

[jimbojones1971]

Turns in, but the extension will be very handy to recheck it.

I got nailed last turn by (i think?) the movement bug, leading to some of my dudes and leaders being left behind and nailed by hungry Abysians (do Norna's make a tasty spit roast or something?), so I am hoping for a better outcome this turn

I gotta say, this hasn't been one of my better games. Its like someone took a giant bucket of fail, then poured that bucket into a lake of fail, and then (as if that wasn't enough fail) went on to empty the pool into a fucking OCEAN of fail.

In other words, its a lot of fail. But fail is frequently amusing, especially after the fact

[Rabelais]

I wondered what they were doing there in less than critical mass. As you noticed I was expecting more.

Sorry to benefit from a bug, I keep hoping for a more decisive battle.

Oh well. At least I lost more troops from irresponsible barbeque safety than you had in your entire force. Did one of your armies disappear completely or is my scouting just showing outlier low numbers on a regrouping?

Don't make me go beating the bushes for Skulking Skratti!

[K]

Turns in, but the extension will be very handy to recheck it.

I got nailed last turn by (i think?) the movement bug, leading to some of my dudes and leaders being left behind and nailed by hungry Abysians (do Norna's make a tasty spit roast or something?), so I am hoping for a better outcome this turn

I gotta say, this hasn't been one of my better games. Its like someone took a giant bucket of fail, then poured that bucket into a lake of fail, and then (as if that wasn't enough fail) went on to empty the pool into a fucking OCEAN of fail.

In other words, its a lot of fail. But fail is frequently amusing, especially after the fact

If we are voting on Most Fail Nation, am I in the running? I mean, I've been at constant war since Turn 5 with three nations one after the other and have little or nothing to show for it 24 turns later.

[Zinegata]

Well, you did kill a Void Lord and threw out the squidfaced menace. Then you had a war with Ulm and took their capital.

For someone who expected to be dead by Turn 3, and who has now outlasted Patala, that's not bad.

That might not seem much with TC sieging your castles, but at least you've got friends who are gonna try and take the pressure off you by wailing on TC .

[Calibron]

You definitely deserve the "Best Out of a Bad Situation" award, K.

[Korwin]

You lived at least longer than me. Hell you are the reason I'm out
I am expecting my demise message with the next turn...
*poor tentacle face*

[Rabelais]

Ever read the Hello Cthulhu webcomic?

http://www.hello-cthulhu.com/?date=2003-11-30

[Korwin]

How bad an time sink is that link?
*needs to resist lure*


[edit]: Yep, I lost.
R'ley and Patala are the first casualties...

[Shiritai]

More than 50 mammoths? Really? I'm honored and all, but isn't that a bit excessive for a going-away party?

And where the heck did you find lobo guards? I thought R'lyeh was done for.

[Akula]

Mercenary. The Lost Legion or something like that.

[Gnosticism Is A Hoot]

More than 50 mammoths? Really? I'm honored and all, but isn't that a bit excessive for a going-away party?

And where the heck did you find lobo guards? I thought R'lyeh was done for.

Akula's correct about the lobo guards. The Lost Legion are pretty uninspiring mercenaries, but they're better than mermen ¬_¬.

I'm glad you enjoyed the little tete-a-tete with the mighty horde of Great Patriotic Mammoths. I'm afraid they won't be sticking around; they have an urgent appointment in Abysia, and I'd hate to keep the lava men waiting.

[jimbojones1971]

If we are voting on Most Fail Nation, am I in the running? I mean, I've been at constant war since Turn 5 with three nations one after the other and have little or nothing to show for it 24 turns later.

Yeah, you win. I think you deserve the games "cockroach award", for proving to be so darned hard to kill

[Zinegata]

Hmmm, turn did not go exactly as planned. Need to check file. Looks like both sides took losses though.

Sorry to see you go Korwin (even though Chelms is celebrating the death of the squidfaced menace). Will you continue admining?

[TheNotSoEvilNecromancer]

A Proclamation from Agartha!

Good citizens of Agartha and the world, behold the fruit of our long labors. The alien blight upon this world has been expunged. No more must you fear your own dreams, fear losing yourself to the horrors of the illithids. The great Void Gate of R'lyeh lays in ruin and its dark master, the once terrifying Void Lord Sockententakl, has been cast into Tartarus.

As of this month the entirety of the Samedonian Ocean is Agarthan. The shamblers of Rotmarsh, for their great contribution in turning the illithid tide have been granted the "Right of Return" to any majority Altantian province within Agartha with full voting and settlement rights once they arrive. Lord Tsagosh of the Tritons will, for displaying incredible bravery and gallantry throughout the Void War and in particular for cutting off the illithid retreat in Soth Dagod, receive the Oracular Scepter of Command from General Sethan.

To the people under the sea, our new brothers and sisters, you are slaves no longer! R'lyeh is no longer a place to be feared, a home of terrifying unimaginable beasts or even the city of the Aboleths it was in ancient times. It is the future of your people, the seat of your new government, the home of the Amber Clan Reborn, subsidiary to none but Agartha itself, and most important of all, it is yours.

And to all the other nations of the world never forget the service that has been done for you. Never forget the Agarthan blood and ichor that was spilt above and below the waves to give you the freedom to no longer fear what dwells beneath the waves. Never forget what the servants of the Oracles gave you this day...

This is a new day for us all may its light shine across the world!

-Norag Redevad Stark
Prime Minister of Agartha, Chief Advisor to the Oracular Council, Voice of Ghede

[Zinegata]

BNN Report:

Agartha Destroys Squidfaced Menace. War Rages Around the World

The Chelmian Council today confirmed the final destruction of the Squidfaced Menace. Congratulating Chelm's traditional Agarthan allies, Magister Wilfred released the following statement:

"The Chelmian people will never forget Agartha's contribution to ending the Squidfaced Menace. It was they and the Great Nation of Gath that fought and contained their evil madness, at the cost of countless human, shambler, and giant lives. The world owes them a debt of thanks for letting our children once again sleep soundly while they dream.

We would also like to offer aid to the now freed peoples of the Samedonian Ocean. May they finally learn to enjoy the freedom that was taken from them so long ago."

The good news was dampened by reports of heavy fighting in the south against the barbarian hordes. There are reports that at least one province has fallen to the advancing Chelmian forces, but BNN cannot yet verify these claims.

Also, there are more reports of heavy fighting elsewhere in the world. Marignon continues to advance to end the menace of the Walking Dead, while the friendly blue giants of Utgard are still fighting against the hell-spawned forces of Abysia.

[Zinegata]

Ever read the Hello Cthulhu webcomic?

http://www.hello-cthulhu.com/?date=2003-11-30

... If that is Tartarus, then no wonder Tartarians come out insane...

[Zinegata]

BNN Breaking News...

Chelms Launches Offensive, Carnage in the East!

BNN Bards have confirmed that Chelms has launched a massive offensive against the barbarian hordes. In a two-pronged invasion, Chelmian forces struck the provinces of Icden and Akesta simultaneously.

The battle of Icden, which pitted the Prophet Hlothere's Army Group West against a strong TC garrison, proved to be a bloody and confused affair. TC Ancestor Vessels were able to penetrate the Chelmian lines, killing and routing dozens of archers. However, the Defenders - the elite troops of the Chelmian forces - held firm and shot the Ancestor Vessels to pieces. A despairing charge by the remaining TC forces attempted to turn the tide, but the Defenders then launched a devastating counter-attack which routed them from the field.

However, Icden was but a side show compared to the massive battle at Akesta, which pitted Lord Warden Wealdhere's Army Group East against the bulk of TC's mobile forces in the north. Wealdhere commanded a massive force of over a hundred archers and Defenders, while the TC army consisted of dozens of local conscripts and nearly 50 Ancestor Vessels under the command of Khan Zong Dingbo.

The TC opened the battle with a charge by their Ancestor Vessels. As the barbarians closed in however, the Chelmian Army unleashed its magic and enchanted their bowmen with Flaming Arrows. Dozens of TC troops were quickly killed, but the Ancestor Vessels pressed on and smashed into the Chelmian Army's left flank. Although most of the archers in the left flank were put to flight, a second volley of Flaming Arrows all but annihilated the Ancestor Vessels.

It was then that Khan Zong Dingbo himself entered the fray, charging the center of the Chelmian lines with his pikemen in tow. Zong Dingbo's troops collided with the Chelmian Wardens in the center of the line, challenging Lord Warden Wealdhere himself to combat. The Lord Warden declined, but was cut down by a barbarian arrow. The Khan then almost single-handedly fought all of Wealdhere's Wardens, slaying half of them using his enchanted sword and armor and putting the longbowmen in the center scurrying in flight.

However, again the Chelmian Army's Long Bowmen exacted revenge, burying Khan Zong Dingbo under a rain of arrows. But having suffered heavy losses, the Army Group East finally lost heart and fell back, a despairing charge by the surviving Defenders having failed to turn the tide. The barbarians then cut down any survivors they could reach.

In terms of size and scale, Icden and Akesta far outstrip any battle that Chelms has fought thus far. Some veterans were heard commenting that the ferocity of the battle Akesta outstripped several months of campaigning on the Patalan Front.

Nonetheless, Chelmian leaders have issued a statement remaining confident of victory. Despite the heavy losses at Icden and Akesta, the TC army had also lost the bulk of its Ancestor Vessels in the north, which was the cream of their army. Lord Warden Berthwald, who replaced the deceased Wealdhere, told our bards that "We didn't win every battle in the Patalan War either, but we won the war anyway. It may be costly, but we will win this war too. Gath Be Free."

The Chelmian Council of Knights is expected to hold a ceremony later today to honor the Chelmian dead of both Akesta and Icden. Similarly, they plan to honor Khan Zong Dingbo - for his "valiant, almost single-handed effort which turned the tide of battle for the barbarian hordes in the fields of Akesta".

The troops BNN interviewed in the field however, were less generous. Many have heard rumors of the atrocities being committed by TC troops against captured Chelmian soldiers - some reportedly cutting off the right hand of every longbowmen they captured.

Many of the longbowmen interviewed thus shared a similar sentiment: "When we find Charlie [Slang for a TC soldier], we're not just gonna cutoff his hand. We're gonna kill him."

[Korwin]

Hmmm, turn did not go exactly as planned. Need to check file. Looks like both sides took losses though.

Sorry to see you go Korwin (even though Chelms is celebrating the death of the squidfaced menace). Will you continue admining?

I read the thread anyway, so yeah I will keep tha Admin post.

[TheNotSoEvilNecromancer]

Sorry about removing you from the game so early, Korwin. Honestly, I saw a golden opportunity after Gath repelled you and once I had troops to do so I took it. You held out longer than I expected though and dealt me a few reeling blows, especially in the battle for your capital, how big was that communion?

You actually helped me out quite a bit by attacking Gath and hamstringing both of your nations helped me quite a bit, had Gath built up a force of giants I probably would have been the most tempting target as LA Agartha early game is nothing more than a bunch of geriatrics and their lizards. Honestly, had Gath and I had our locations switched at the beginning of the game the current turn would look very different.

[Korwin]

No problem, some you lose.