Expanding AWOD

Midnight_v · Post by **Midnight_v** » Sat May 14, 2011 6:11 pm

Funny, I wasn't clear I actually suggested the name monolith to replace pentex.
I just thought that The Monolith corporation sounded weird somehow and figured maybe "The Monolith Group" sounded better.
Its so minor its not even an issue, however if there's a real companay with that name I would never have even though.

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Sun May 15, 2011 8:14 am

After Sundown is now in a convenient Stream of Consciousness Rant. That makes it a lot easier to search for words that haven't been updated.

-Username17

Draco_Argentum · Post by **Draco_Argentum** » Sun May 15, 2011 9:28 am

Houston City History : "The city has had a lover affair with things that go all through the 20th century and continuing to this day." lover = love

Paris places to go: "Like the British Museum, walking through it like an active crime scene." should be walking through it is like walking through an active crime scene. Or something, the original thought in that sentence is only half expressed.

Also in that section "even get a plate of d'œuvres." Hors is missing

jadagul · Post by **jadagul** » Mon May 16, 2011 2:43 am

The first-person fiction refers to "covenants" as a generic and talks a lot about the "Carthians"; didn't you decide to change those terms?

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Mon May 16, 2011 5:16 am

If possible, "Storyteller" should be reskinned as "Crypt Keeper".

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Mon May 16, 2011 5:28 am

CatharzGodfoot wrote:If possible, "Storyteller" should be reskinned as "Crypt Keeper".

Storyteller has been reskinned "MC".

-Username17

Quantumboost · Post by **Quantumboost** » Tue May 17, 2011 7:06 am

Proofing after reading up through character generation in the other thread:

"It also has connections to three coterminus magic worlds full of monsters and danger." - correct spelling is coterminous

"but since this is the realm of horror the dreams are often as not inspired by Freddy and the beasts are likely to be the deadly and destructive monsters." - needs either "the" removed from "the deadly and destructive monsters" or something added

"The Dreamlands have the least expatriot civilization from the Mortal world of all the other worlds." - expatriot should be expatriate

"And for reasons unknown The Marduk Society has been growing an Arcanotower in the Brasil Correspondence for some time." - Brasil = Brazil?

"Genevra is a Vampire with the Quickness ability from the Power of Celerity." - should be X

"Asking the character to walk away from publishing their successes in full to keep the Masquerade and their own safety is much more of a struggle than getting them to go explore a haunted mansion or take on a wicked Troll in the first place." - Masquerade left in, replace with Vow of Silence

"Not only is it factually true that the heroic motivation is the most common motivation of protagonists in source material, but it's also interestingly true that it is the most common motivation of people playing in After Sundown games." - but is redundant

"Each character thus, should have interests and goals that drive the plot forward," - first comma is jarring. Should either remove it or place another one just before "thus"

In Media Res - "Characters can have Advantages and Disadvantages, but the number of the one should equal the number of the other." - technically don't supernaturals have one more disadvantage than advantage, the one from their supernatural type?

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Tue May 17, 2011 1:20 pm

Thanks.

Quantumboost wrote:"And for reasons unknown The Marduk Society has been growing an Arcanotower in the Brasil Correspondence for some time." - Brasil = Brazil?

It's spelled Brasil. At least it is in Brasil.

"Genevra is a Vampire with the Quickness ability from the Power of Celerity." - should be X

?

-Username17

eeuuugh · Post by **eeuuugh** » Tue May 17, 2011 4:33 pm

On that note, "Columbian drug bosses" in the Wet Work section should be "Colombian drug bosses". Narcos or narcotraficantes might be even better.

Quantumboost · Post by **Quantumboost** » Tue May 17, 2011 4:42 pm

FrankTrollman wrote:
"Genevra is a Vampire with the Quickness ability from the Power of Celerity." - should be X
?

Gah. Sorry. I had originally meant to keep that in the text file until I could verify whether Celerity's name had been changed like so many other core disciplines, and didn't actually do that.

Since it wasn't changed, ignore that line.

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Tue May 17, 2011 7:14 pm

RoboGeisha is a perfect example of androids and mirror goblins. Plus an evil corporation working for the BSD.