OSSR: Master Race's Handbook

[Darth Rabbitt]

In one campaign I had Dwarves and Gnomes be two castes (warriors and sages, respectively) of one race that had developed into separate races over time. They built a huge empire (heavily influenced by the Rakata from Kotor and the Dwemer from Elder Scrolls) that collapsed due to revolts by Giants (the servitor races they bred) and the other races being subjugated by them and were scattered around the world, splitting off and forming subraces. Dwarves were obsessed with war, ancient grudges and stone records because they vaguely remember their lost heritage. They frequently competed with orcs and goblins over territories and thus undergo training to fight them. Gnomes were tricksters and tinkerers because they remembered their empire as well (with bards recording their culture and Wizards trying to record their magical lore) and their rivalry with Kobolds is due to their territorial conflicts with them. Both undergo training to fight giants because they recall their losses to them long ago.

Halflings were the progenitors of Goblins (Lightfoot Halfling,) Dwarves and Gnomes (Deep Halfling,) Elves (Tallfellow Halfling,) and Humans (Strongheart Halfling.) These different offshoots settled down in different environments, and all developed various cultures. No one really wants to interact with Halflings because they are seen as primitive nomadic savages; a combination of Eberron and Dark Sun halflings.

Along with Halflings, Orcs and Kobolds were the oldest humanoid races. The Orcs lost wars to the various other humanoid races and never really recovered. Many of the giant races came partially from Orc stock. The Kobolds were created as a servitor race by dragons, which is why they are dragon-blooded and idolize dragons so much.

[Username17]

why the heck are gnomes a race anyways, there weren't any gnomes in LotR.

In fantasy settings, there are a lot of "little people" types. Some of them are basically Dwarves. Some of them are basically Hobbits. For everything else, there's Gnomes. And that is why Gnomes are so incoherent. They are standins for every single type of little person in every piece of fiction that is neither Bilbo Baggins nor Gimli. So like, Willow is Gnome. But so is every other character Warwick Davis plays - like The Leprechaun. Also David the Gnome. Also all the brownies, gremlins, and small statured elves in everything. Santa's Elves are Gnomes for the most part.

There comes a point where you're just deviating so far from the source material that you might just as well make up a totally different race.

Yes. But it was a gradual evolution. See, the original Halfling concept was that Halflings were exactly Hobbits, and that very rarely, one of them would go off to have adventures. And when that happened, they would become warriors or thieves like the named characters in Tolkien books. But as the "infrequent" adventurers were still basically 100% of the characters who got any screen time, their traits gradually took over and became everything.

So while it used to be that almost all of them stayed home, and a tiny few went off to find adventure, they gradually became a wandering people by stereotype, because 100% of the characters anyone was being exposed to were wandering.

-Username17

[tussock]

So here's a question: How would you go about creating a unified notion of what a Gnome is? Assume that you have total control over D&D and Pathfinder, what, if anything, can be done to provide a definitive idea of what Gnomes are in the average D&D player's mind?

Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers.

First I'd fix the Hobbit to be a hobbit, hearth-spirits. Be very clear that Kender never existed, hobbits have no wanderlust and really do not like leaving home at all. They're a hill-farming culture that rely on old treaties with variously forest elves (tallfellow), mountain dwarves (stout), or plains humans (hairfoot) depending on who's nearest.

These relationships require the odd adventurer to go out and keep track of goings on, an unwelcome duty for most. Hobbit holes and their gardens are hidden, while their sheep roam free, and you can walk right through a hobbit town on what look like animal tracks and never see it. Also, Druids, but that's a bit of a secret. "Officially" the Sherrif runs the show.

You've never met a Hobbit you didn't like, which is weird, because some of them are really quite mean.


Gnomes, then, are trickster-spirits who most races are willing to pay to move on, which gnomes all view as reward for services. Your pants? They fell down. Again. Illusions and mechanical tinkering are how they mostly go about it, but also complex stage-shows with maddening endings, to simple street prestidigitation. Gnomes have television (a mechanical illusion), but it doesn't work. They do not run banks, because doing practical jokes with money starts wars.

No one knows what the deal is with the badgers, but it's rumoured they're a constant source of new tricks. No one knows what the deal with Kobolds is either, but it's pretty much murder on sight for both races.

Gnomes are ... confusing. They thrive on complexity, the more layers a joke or plan or machine has, the more they want to add layers to it. Sometimes that even works.

[GâtFromKI]

In case anyone wants to look into some of the crazy in more depth, I found the pdf online here.

There's a table about there level:

1d3	Level compared to PC
1	lower (3 or fewer)
2	equal
3	higher (3or more)

How is this piece of shit supposed to work? Do all elf in the work level up so that 33% of them are always the same level as the PCs? If you explore an elf city at level 1, 33% of the population is level 0, 33% is level 1, and 33% is level 4+ (and none are level 2-3), and if you go back in the same city at level 10, then 66% of the population is now level 10+? How does it make sense?

And anyway, it's AD&D2: each class has a different xp progression. Eg, a wizard with 100 000 xp is level 8, while a ranger with 100 000 xp is level 7, and a druid with 100 000 xo is level 9. The xp table are fucking crazy.

In the end, you can totally have a group a ranger 7 and a druid 10, and it's totally fair because both have the same amount of xp (140 000), and the bard and the wizard are level 9 and that's also fair. And that's before you take into account the optional rule giving different experience reward for each class.

So, back to the elf random generation table : if you roll "level equal to the pc", the elf's level is equal to which pc's level? The level 10 druid or the level 7 ranger? And if the elf is multiclassed, does he have the same level in each class? A Fighter 10/wizard 10 has at least 500 000 xp as a fighter, and at most 374 999 xp as a wizard: that seems highly improbable.


But I'm relieved, the blurb before the random elf generation table says that "the Random Elf Generator allows the DM to create believable elf PCs and NPCs quickly and easily." So my female LG cruel drow fighter 10/wizard 10 is totally believable.

For fuck's sake, the 3.5 Gnome from 2003 is supposed to be different from a Halfling on the grounds that Halflings are Rogues and Gnomes are Bards. But 4 years earlier, Bards literally are a subset of Rogues. Meaning that even telling people that was the difference would have drawn a completely blank look in 1999.

Since the only consistent definition of the gnome is "it's a halfling, but magic", and only consistent definition of the bard is "it's a rogue, but magic", that makes sense somehow.

[Username17]

So here's a question: How would you go about creating a unified notion of what a Gnome is? Assume that you have total control over D&D and Pathfinder, what, if anything, can be done to provide a definitive idea of what Gnomes are in the average D&D player's mind?

If I had total control, I'd run with the dichotomous aspects of both Halflings and Gnomes. Both races would represent the conflict of civilization. Halflings would be divided between homebodied agrarianism and nomadic wanderlust. Gnomes would be divided between forest primitivism and urban industrialization.

These essential conflicts would define both races, with individuals being pulled towards opposite extremes and probably having family who represent both. The Forest Gnomes wouldn't be a subrace, they'd be a philosophical and political movement. The Tinker Gnomes likewise would be a way of life rather than a genetic condition.

-Username17

[Prak]

their sheep roam free ... Also, Druids,

"Burt, why is that sheep staring at us?"
"Dunno, Jeb, sheep just do that sometimes I guess."
"That is a worryin' bleat ther- Burt, I think that sheep is casting Call Lightnin' We should get out of here... "

[nockermensch]

Why the fuck is there this need to include halflings in fantasy games, anyway? Elves, dwarves and gnomes have some mythological validation, but halflings are tolkien's brainchildren.

Making a place for halflings in every generic fantasy game is about as ridiculous as making a place for wookies in every generic space opera game.

And yes, I know how the halfling concept drifted from chubby country squires during the last 30 years, but fuck that noise anyway.

[Rawbeard]

but halflings are tolkien's brainchildren.

You already have the answer.

but fuck that noise anyway.

Agreed

[virgil]

From what I've seen, people largely treat halflings and gnomes as the same unless both are used. I think it's to the point that if the audience has a background in fantasy, they're going to identify any non-magical humanoid short race as halfling/gnome unless they're wide and Scottish; just like any magical humanoid is going to be identified as elf.

[crasskris]

I was once in a 3e game where gnomes were what happened when dwarves and halflings fucked.
They were magically inclined because magic needed to be used for conception.

[zugschef]

gimme more half-dwarves!

[Korwin]

I was once in a 3e game where gnomes were what happened when dwarves and halflings fucked.
They were magically inclined because magic needed to be used for conception.

I think I read a/the book long ago - from Wolfgang Hohlbein, I think - which might have been the inspiration of that.

[crasskris]

I think I read a/the book long ago - from Wolfgang Hohlbein, I think - which might have been the inspiration of that.

If I remember right, the explanation was more along the lines that in 2e, gnomes shared some conceptual space with both, and also looked a little bit like a cross of the two.
The idea was then carried over to 3e, where it still kinda fit.

[Hadanelith]

Here's one out of left field: if the new Torment kickstarter hits 2.5 million bucks, Colin McComb, the author of this awful piece of shit, is promising an apology video. I'm...not sure how to feel about this, really.

[Libertad]

Last, but most certainly not least: Upon reaching $2.5m, we will send out a special video from Colin. Those of you familiar with Colin’s very early work may recall that he wrote the Complete Book of Elves for 2nd Edition AD&D. You AD&D players may remember how dreadful this work was, making elves so incredibly powerful and unbalanced that all of our AD&D games were henceforth ruined until 3rd Edition D&D came to save us. (This is a slight overstatement. We could just pretend the book never existed, after all. That’s what I did…) Fortunately, Colin wrote that over 20 years ago and he’s learned much since then. =) Plus he’s the creative guy on Torment and Adam and I aren’t going to let him get too close to the gameplay systems. Just kidding. (Mostly. )

But we’ve always felt that he owes us for polluting our campaigns with his bizarre passion for elves. Thankfully, Colin seems to have gotten through his elf-fetish years but his penance isn’t yet complete. He has apologized before, but somehow I find it lacking. I don't know about you, but I want to see him say it. So as part of our update celebrating this Stretch Goal, Colin will apologize publicly for this sin of his youth through a special video.

I hope they know it's not just the game mechanics and realize that the book was loathed also for turning Elves into racist bastards who own slaves, hate cripples, and do stonework better than dwarves (among many other sins).

[wotmaniac]

I was once in a 3e game where gnomes were what happened when dwarves and halflings fucked.

Question: what would be the general consensus about this?

I ask because I'm in the midst of building a new setting for a new upcoming game, and this actually entered my mind (all 3 would actually have 3 completely different, albeit interrelated, places in the world).

[Antumbra]

Here's one out of left field: if the new Torment kickstarter hits 2.5 million bucks, Colin McComb, the author of this awful piece of shit, is promising an apology video. I'm...not sure how to feel about this, really.

Amused that someone over there was linked to this thread?

[Libertad]

Amused that someone over there was linked to this thread?

The CBOE has been loathed ever since it came out, and has a long-running Let's Read thread on rpg.net.

So I don't necessarily think that it's a Den reaction.

[wotmaniac]

Amused that someone over there was linked to this thread?

The CBOE has been loathed ever since it came out, and has a long-running Let's Read thread on rpg.net.

So I don't necessarily think that it's a Den reaction.

yeah, that particular thread has been going for about a year.

[Username17]

I was once in a 3e game where gnomes were what happened when dwarves and halflings fucked.

Question: what would be the general consensus about this?

I ask because I'm in the midst of building a new setting for a new upcoming game, and this actually entered my mind (all 3 would actually have 3 completely different, albeit interrelated, places in the world).

Sounds kind of stupid. In general, I don't think that "half-X" deserves a racial writeup in most cases. If you want to play a Half-Elf, you should just pick the rules for being a humans or the rules for being an elf and announce that you became an adventurer because you have mixed parentage. There's no reason to have a whole extra half-elf racial template (and no real mechanical space for one either, which is why the half-elf has always been shitty in every edition).

Between Leprechauns, Alfar, Mujina, Hobbs, Menehune, Cagn-Cagn and even Santa's Elves, there are plenty of "magic little people" stories that you can base Gnomes around. It's not even hard. The problem with Gnomes is that they are being asked to do too many things conceptually speaking, not that they don't have enough source material. Burdening them with additional non-mythical baggage that is explicitly related to other races that already exist is the opposite of solving any actual problem.

-Username17

[Libertad]

Here's the video.

[Username17]

Yeah, he acknowledges the whole "racism" deal, but even as comedy the non-apology apology is still fairly insulting.

I mean yes, he was a kid right out of college who was hyped up on Tolkien and trying to make things awesome in 1992. Also he has legitimately written good things since then. And yes, just because a sourcebook has shitty things in it doesn't mean you have to use it. Those are all excuses. Actually, those are all of the excuses. They do not constitute an apology in any meaningful sense of the term.

Considering that him issuing a real apology was a stretch goal for the collection of millions of dollars of real money, I would say that I am pretty disappointed.

-Username17

[hogarth]

I was once in a 3e game where gnomes were what happened when dwarves and halflings fucked.

Question: what would be the general consensus about this?

The Midnight campaign setting is big on half-'n'-half races (e.g. dworgs, dwarrows, elflings). The idea seemed pretty lame to me: "Hey guys! We included these rules for someone who wants to play an extremely specific, somewhat creepy racial character concept!"

[Foxwarrior]

If you're going to make half-breeds important, you should really do the work of writing up some Mendelian squares. Otherwise, how will you play a Dwelfling or a Gnolmewagon?

[CapnTthePirateG]

Seriously?

The whole defense is "you're a shitty DM if you allow overpowered books...that I wrote...because I had no fucking idea how to balance shit...and you had to make them roleplay."? Seriously?