Annoying Questions I'd Like Answered...

Chamomile · Post by **Chamomile** » Sun Apr 21, 2013 7:29 pm

There are apparently people who get off on cachalot whales, so really nothing's out of the question.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Sun Apr 21, 2013 7:55 pm

Just search your favorite porn site for "cucklold". You'd be surprised at how many dudes get off on being verbally by their wives while them have sex with large black men.

Chamomile · Post by **Chamomile** » Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:10 pm

The cuckold thing has always struck me as especially bizarre, but only because it's a fetish that explicitly involves not having any sex.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:23 pm

Unless the cuckold gets turned into a sub slave, in which case it's just a fantasy about being dominated by beautiful women and large men, often with feminization, with some added bizarreness of an unfaithful wife.

Count Arioch the 28th · Mon Apr 22, 2013 2:05 am

If I got off on that, I would have the best life ever...

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 2:23 am

There are people who get off on anything.

Rule 34 will not be denied.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 2:37 am

So, the other day I goes to Friendlys, right, cause I really, really like their chicken strips, mashed potatoes, and ice cream, especially that thing where they take a soft serve, add some toppings and shit, and then blend it all together into an awesome orgy of flavor; I think it's called a FriendZ (dumb name, but delicious).

Anyway, I order my usual meal (chicken strips with two sides of mashed), and I eat and I finish and I'm like, yo, I want an ice cream. So I says to the waitress, "Yo, toots, bring over that thing where they take a soft serve, add some toppings and shit, and then blend it all together into an awesome orgy of flavor, but with chocolate icre cream and some other shit that I can't remember," and the waitress is like, "ayup," and I'm like, "bitchin'."

And so I waits for my ice cream, and when it comes I'm like, "aww yeah," and then I starts to dig in but then I realize that the chocolate ice cream isn't actually chocolate ice cream, it's vanilla.

So I'm like, "Yo, waitress-dude, wassup with this shit? This ain't chocolate, this vanilla. I want the stuff that comes from Theobroma cacao seed pods, not the shit fromVanilla planifolia." And the waitress is like, "I'm sorry, but Friendlys doesn't carry chocolate soft serve anymore; it's a chain-wide business new direction thingy", and I'm like "What. The. FUCK."

Who and why did Friendlys fucking drops chocolate soft serve ice cream? Why would any ice cream place do that? WHY DID THEY DO IT? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 3:01 am

Because they figure that putting chocolate syrup in vanilla ice cream is the same as chocolate ice cream?

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:03 am

That'd be my guess too, if it didn't make cones of chocolate soft serve impossible.

It's worth noting that Shrapnel is a pickier eater than most 4 year olds, and I say this being a man of extremely unusual tastes.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:33 am

Darth Rabbitt wrote:That'd be my guess too, if it didn't make cones of chocolate soft serve impossible.

It's worth noting that Shrapnel is a pickier eater than most 4 year olds, and I say this being a man of extremely unusual tastes.

...do you have to go to special discerning, legitimate business men to satisfy your extremely unusual tastes?

Count Arioch the 28th · Mon Apr 22, 2013 1:22 pm

And do these businessmen know how to properly prepare century eggs or surströmming? Because those are my unusual tastes.

I have a weird question, can you be celibate without being a virgin? Just wondering if the word applies. I found I enjoy how few fucks I am required to give when I'm not dating and would like to continue not giving fucks, both literally and figuratively.

Guyr Adamantine · Post by **Guyr Adamantine** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 1:33 pm

You failed the give-a-fuck test by asking the question, therefore giving a fuck. Sorry.

As to the question, yes.

Count Arioch the 28th · Mon Apr 22, 2013 1:37 pm

I contend that one can give a fuck about some things while not giving a fuck about others. Giving a fuck is not an everything or nothing equation. In this case, I give a fuck about using the correct words for things because I'm terrible with them.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 1:47 pm

Yeah, celibate just means having made a decision to not have sex. Hell, it may not even imply a decision. ...on the other hand, I'm not sure if masturbation "counts" or not...

Merriam Webster says:

noun
1. a person who abstains from sexual relations.
2. a person who remains unmarried, especially for religious reasons.
adjective
3. observing or pertaining to sexual abstention or a religious vow not to marry.
4. not married.

So, there you go. Apparently, I could apply the word to myself, oddly enough...

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:57 pm

A bit late, but I believe that being chaste would mean that you are both celibate and a virgin, thereby having the best (or worst) of both worlds.

SlyJohnny · Post by **SlyJohnny** » Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:57 pm

I stare at you blankly in confusion, Arioch. On one hand I'm sort of mentally patronizing you and thinking you must be missing out on something truly essential and human, on the other hand I'm marvelling the fact that you can apparently have just as deep as emotional connection with a girl without sex, which is not something I'm wired to understand.

Count Arioch the 28th · Mon Apr 22, 2013 6:03 pm

Trust me, I've had lots of freaky circus sex in my time. But I'll be honest and say that for me to date, it takes a lot of time and money; both of which I'm running out of. Moreover, I've spent nearly my entire life making other people happy and now I'm wanting to do things that make myself happy. If nothing else, looking back at my past tells me that the best parts of my life are ahead of me. Few people can honestly say that.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 1:26 am

Prak_Anima wrote:Yeah, celibate just means having made a decision to not have sex. Hell, it may not even imply a decision. ...on the other hand, I'm not sure if masturbation "counts" or not...

If you're going by the oldskool European (ie Christian) definition, then masturbation breaks your vow of celibacy. Luckily, few people today are Christians born in medieval times - a dozen, tops.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 1:16 pm

One of my next-door neighbors has been a Christian since fire was first mastered by mankind. He's really scary, and is covered in a thick, shaggy body hair. I seriously think that he also does The Most Dangerous Game type shit, 'cause I've heard he owns a small island in the Pacific. I don't know if that's true, but I've swear I've seen human skulls adorning his mantle-place.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:23 pm

Well, Satanists are only evil Christians neh?

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 4:43 pm

No, satanists are goth kids who decided to make misanthropy their religion.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:04 pm

Satan is a Christian Idea.

Winnah · Post by **Winnah** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:15 pm

Satan is a Jewish idea.

The anthromorphic personification of Satan, as a malevolent Dionysus/Pagan Horned God expy, is definately Christian, but the Hebrews still get to call ownership on their word for adversary.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:26 pm

Stahlseele wrote:Satan is a Christian Idea.

Satan is a name. Some people use it to describe one thing, modern satanists use it to describe something completely different.

Gaia is a greek name, but that sure as fuck doesn't mean that Hippies talking about Mother Earth think that it gave birth to Zeus.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:16 pm

Winnah wrote:Satan is a Jewish idea.

The anthromorphic personification of Satan, as a malevolent Dionysus/Pagan Horned God expy, is definately Christian, but the Hebrews still get to call ownership on their word for adversary.

You're right that the Jews had the concept of an adversary, but did they ever use the name "Satan" in the Old Testament? From what I remember, he wasn't actually named until the New Testament.

That being said, I don't think he was even mentioned as a concept in the OT that often. There's the snake in the garden of eden, which according to that story, is just a talking snake; nothing else is attributed to it aside from Christians reading their narrative backward into the story. There's the guy who fucks with Job and his family on a bet with God, but I also don't think he's named "Satan". I can't think of any other mentions off the top of my head.