Let's Play Fighting Fantasy #8: Scorpion Swamp

[Whatever]

No other spell votes? I say Stamina.

[SlyJohnny]

Oh yeah, I also vote Stamina.

[Shrapnel]

Well, the Blastoise said Ice, but I've already pissed it off by cleaning it's limited edition DustDude(TM) action figure, so what'd I have to lose?

Stamina for the wins. I always totally thought that was the one we should've picked, yeah.

[Darth Rabbitt]

(OK, Stamina gets it. Do we use it now? Also, does anyone else want to offer suggestions on whether or not we should search the nest? It's currently 1-1)

[Shrapnel]

I have flipped Pokémon Blue once more, and once more it landed Blastoise-side up.

We LEAVE.

THE GREAT BLASTOISE-BUILDER SPEAKS.

(With apologies to fbmf).

[Username17]

We are going to lose 2 stamina to the fog, so I would like to hold off chugging the stamina gem until we get through there.

-Username17

[Korgan0]

Search the nest.

Also, blasters.

[Darth Rabbitt]

(And now it's 2-2. I suppose we climb, since we can just leave afterwards.)

Test your Luck. (2,2=4; Lucky!) If you are Unlucky, you fall down, losing 2 STAMINA points, but you climb back up to the nest. If you are Lucky, you get to the nest safely. Looped around one of the branches you find a heavy Gold Chain; you may take it if you wish. You climb down and leave.

(Well, the Chain is useless to us now, but at least for future playthroughs we know how to get another Spell Gem from Halicar, Dealer in Potions and Spells.)

You have no reason to linger. You have a choice of three paths. Will you travel:

South?
East?
West?

(I assume we go South.)

Ahead of you there is an opening in the trees. You investigate. You are in Clearing 35. You can see the wide Foulbrood River, running east and west. A great stone bridge crosses the river. It looks totally deserted.

Do you go on to the bridge or do you distrust the bridge and rather turn around?

(I assume we cross, since we know it's safe.)

The bridge is old but in good repair. (I'm assuming we choose to go south, as once more going in the direction we came from would be identical to not having crossed the bridge at all.)

You can see that ahead of you two other paths join yours in a small clearing. You are in Clearing 13. (Dicklong has been here before.)

You have returned to the clearing where you met the horde of Scorpions. You look around to see whether they are still about. Yes . . . there they are, coming towards you from all sides! You are ready for them this time.

Your reactions are quick. You have time to decide how to deal with the Scorpions. Will you:

Stamp on them and strike with your sword?
Cast a Fire Spell?
Leap over them to safety?

(Do we want to jump again? Worked well enough last time.)

Dicklong Eldritcock
SKILL 9/9
STAMINA 11/22
LUCK 10/11
Equipment: Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Sword Tree Seeds, Unicorn Horn, Red Cloak, Gold Chain
Spells: Illusion x 1, Friendship x 1, Luck x 1, Stamina x 1
Map:
[W]....[15]<-[X]
..^........v......^
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]
..............................^
..........[33]->[20]..[35]
............^.......v.......^
..........FOG....[9]->[13]
............^
..........[29]
............^
..........[18]
............^
..........[34]
............^
...........[4]<-[1]
(Ignore ellipses. W is the town of Willowbend; 10 is an encampment of Brigands; 28 is a pool of freshly killed Slime; 15 has some Will-o'-the-wisps, X is a crossroads; 32 is the former home of a dead Giant Scorpion and an equally dead Dwarf; 16 is the nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain; 35 is a bridge; 13 is a clearing filled with Scorpions; 9 is a dead thief's former picnic site; 20 is a cliff overlooking a river; 33 is a riverbank; Fog is poisonous, dealing 2 STAMINA damage; 29 has a dead Unicorn, and has been looted; 18 contains Sword Trees; 34 is a stream, now frozen; 4 is the Master of Wolves' house; 1 is another crossroads)

[Dr_Noface]

Leap our way back to civilization!

[Username17]

Yeah, time to jump.

-Username17

[Darth Rabbitt]

Roll two dice. (5,6=11.) If the total is less than or equal to your STAMINA (it is), you jump over them. If the total is greater than your STAMINA, you do not leap quite far enough, and you are stung. Lose 3 points of STAMINA.

Hurriedly, you choose an exit. Will you go:

North?
East?
West?

(Not sure if we want to brave the unknown and go east to avoid the fog and the Sword Trees.)

[SlyJohnny]

We can make ir back as-is, let's retrace our steps.

[Username17]

We can make ir back as-is, let's retrace our steps.

This.

-Username17

[ishy]

Let's boldly go where no man has gone before, and explore!

[Darth Rabbitt]

(Sorry ishy, it's 2-1.)

You enter a rather pleasant glade surrounded by gnarled oaks. You are in Clearing 9. (Dicklong has been here before.)

You are back in the clearing where you met the Thief. (Dicklong killed the Thief.)

There are three paths leading away from the clearing. The northern one seems to slope downwards. Will you go:

North?
South?
East?

(I assume North.)

As you walk along, the ground becomes rocky and the path slopes upwards. Instead of dismal trees, you see the sky ahead of you! You emerge on top of a high cliff overlooking the murky Foulbrood River. You are in Clearing 20. It is at least twenty meters down to the river, and the cliff is too steep for you to climb down. Below, you can see huge crocodiles sunning themselves in the water. Far to the east you can see a bridge which appears to cross the river, but no trail leads along the riverbank in that direction. Two trails leave the clearing. Will you:

Walk south into the swamp?
Walk west along the river?
Dive into the river and swim north?
Dive into the river and swim east?

(I assume West.)

You find yourself in a small opening on the bank of the Foulbrood River. You are in Clearing 33. The opposite bank is at least two hundred meters away. You see crocodiles and other creatures in the water. Will you:

Walk east along the river bank?
Turn to the south?
Cast an Ice spell to freeze the river?

(I assume we go back into the fog of death.)

The trail dips down and you see swirling mist. The smell is vile and you hold your breath. But before you get out of the mist, you are forced to breathe. Lose 2 STAMINA points from the effect of the swamp fog.

Do you travel to the north or are you going south?

(I assume we cast our Stamina spell and then head south.)

The path dips slightly downwards and leads into a grassy clearing. This is Clearing 29. (Dicklong has been here before.)

This is the glade where you met the Unicorn, but there is nothing here now.

There are four exits. Will you go:

North?
South?
East?
West?

(I'm offering up one final chance for some last-minute exploring, since there's been enough interest in that to offer it again, and we're just before the most hated Sword Trees.)


Dicklong Eldritcock
SKILL 9/9
STAMINA 20/22
LUCK 10/11
Equipment: Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Sword Tree Seeds, Unicorn Horn, Red Cloak, Gold Chain
Spells: Illusion x 1, Friendship x 1, Luck x 1
Map:
[W]....[15]<-[X]
..^........v......^
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]
..............................^
..........[33]->[20]..[35]
............^.......v.......^
..........FOG....[9]->[13]
............^
..........[29]
............^
..........[18]
............^
..........[34]
............^
...........[4]<-[1]
(Ignore ellipses. W is the town of Willowbend; 10 is an encampment of Brigands; 28 is a pool of freshly killed Slime; 15 has some Will-o'-the-wisps, X is a crossroads; 32 is the former home of a dead Giant Scorpion and an equally dead Dwarf; 16 is the nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain; 35 is a bridge; 13 is a clearing filled with Scorpions; 9 is a dead thief's former picnic site; 20 is a cliff overlooking a river; 33 is a riverbank; Fog is poisonous, dealing 2 STAMINA damage; 29 had a dead Unicorn, and is now empty; 18 contains Sword Trees; 34 is a stream, now frozen; 4 is the Master of Wolves' house; 1 is another crossroads)

[SlyJohnny]

Hmm. Come to think of it, the Master of Wolves was a douche the first time and he might be a problem the second time through. Perhaps we should go east once and then straight down?

[Darth Rabbitt]

The knotted trees give way before you and you enter another clearing. This is Clearing 5. (Dicklong has not been here before.) You realize immediately that there has been a battle here. The ground is torn up; blood is splashed over the dank swamp-grass, and you can see two arrows sticking in a tree not far away.

Do you examine the clearing to see what you can find or decide to leave as quickly as possible?

Dicklong Eldritcock
SKILL 9/9
STAMINA 20/22
LUCK 10/11
Equipment: Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Sword Tree Seeds, Unicorn Horn, Red Cloak, Gold Chain
Spells: Illusion x 1, Friendship x 1, Luck x 1
Map:
[W]....[15]<-[X]
..^........v......^
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]
..............................^
..........[33]->[20]..[35]
............^.......v.......^
..........FOG....[9]->[13]
............^
..........[29]->[5]
............^
..........[18]
............^
..........[34]
............^
...........[4]<-[1]
(Ignore ellipses. 5 is a former battleground; W is the town of Willowbend; 10 is an encampment of Brigands; 28 is a pool of freshly killed Slime; 15 has some Will-o'-the-wisps, X is a crossroads; 32 is the former home of a dead Giant Scorpion and an equally dead Dwarf; 16 is the nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain; 35 is a bridge; 13 is a clearing filled with Scorpions; 9 is a dead thief's former picnic site; 20 is a cliff overlooking a river; 33 is a riverbank; Fog is poisonous, dealing 2 STAMINA damage; 29 had a dead Unicorn, and is now empty; 18 contains Sword Trees; 34 is a stream, now frozen; 4 is the Master of Wolves' house; 1 is another crossroads)

[Guyr Adamantine]

The winner of that fight might still be around, and given the lack of corpse, it probably isn't human.

RUN AWAY!

[Darth Rabbitt]

There are three paths leading out of the clearing. The one that leads east is somewhat narrower and darker than the others. Will you go:

North?
East?
West?

[Darth Rabbitt]

(North should lead us to the Thief's old pad, and we know for sure that West takes us where we were before. So I assume we go East.)

After a short walk, you enter a pleasant, grassy clearing. You see two other exits. This is Clearing 24. (Dicklong has not been here before.) You stand still for a moment, looking around you. Then you realize that there is something strange about the grass. It is growing up around you, so fast you can see the movement. As you watch, you see nippers form at the end of the stalks. They snap at you. You are in the middle of a patch of CRAB GRASS!

(We have the option to use Fire or Wither, but we have neither. There's no option to run. So we attack with our sword. Also, lame pun.)

You hack at the CRAB GRASS with your sword. The nippers are easy to cut down, but more keep growing up around you. Fight the hungry lawn as though it was a single opponent:

CRAB GRASS SKILL 6 STAMINA 16

Combat Log:

Crabgrass 12, Dicklong 14. Crabgrass is at 14.
Crabgrass 14, Dicklong 18. Crabgrass is at 12.
Crabgrass 16, Dicklong 14. Dicklong is at 18.
Crabgrass 17, Dicklong 17. Tie.
Crabgrass 13, Dicklong 16. Crabgrass is at 10.
Crabgrass 10, Dicklong 19. Crabgrass is at 8.
Crabgrass 11, Dicklong 18. Crabgrass is at 6.
Crabgrass 15, Dicklong 16. Crabgrass is at 4.
Crabgrass 14, Dicklong 15. Crabgrass is at 2.
Crabgrass 15, Dicklong 17. Crabgrass is dead.

You have destroyed the Crab Grass; you have no doubt that it is dead. You search the clearing. On a tree, you find some scorched lettering: "Beware of Orcs!" That is all. You leave.

There are three exits from the clearing. Will you go:

South?
East?
West?

(South should lead us out of the swamp, looking at the map we've made so far. So again I assume we head south.)

(It's the love child of Ming the Merciless and Madame Web! Actually kind of badass.)

You notice that your path is criss-crossed by spiderwebs. There is a clearing ahead. Even before you enter it, you can see that the surrounding trees are thickly festooned with webs, and that there are many spiders there. You are in Clearing 17. (Dicklong has not been here before.) In the center of the clearing there is a sumptuous pavilion, which seems to float above the marshy ground. It is silver-grey and it shimmers like woven spider-silk. Seated in the pavilion is a tall man. His thick beard and eyebrows are white, and his robe is as silver-grey as his tent. Around his neck hangs a gleaming silver Spider Amulet. You know that you are in the presence of the MASTER OF SPIDERS. As he regards you from his burning green eyes, you feel your Brass Ring warning you of evil. Will you:

Cast a Friendship spell?
Cast a Curse spell?
Cast a Fire spell?
Attack immediately?
Talk to him in a friendly fashion?

Dicklong Eldritcock
SKILL 9/9
STAMINA 18/22
LUCK 10/11
Equipment: Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Sword Tree Seeds, Unicorn Horn, Red Cloak, Gold Chain
Spells: Illusion x 1, Friendship x 1, Luck x 1
Map:
[W]....[15]<-[X]
..^........v......^
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]
..............................^
..........[33]->[20]..[35]
............^.......v.......^
..........FOG....[9]->[13]
............^......^?
..........[29]->[5]->[24]
............^...............v
..........[18]...........[17]
............^
..........[34]
............^
...........[4]<-[1]
(Ignore ellipses. 17 is the abode of the Master of Spiders; 24 is a patch of freshly cut Crab Grass; 5 is a former battleground; W is the town of Willowbend; 10 is an encampment of Brigands; 28 is a pool of freshly killed Slime; 15 has some Will-o'-the-wisps, X is a crossroads; 32 is the former home of a dead Giant Scorpion and an equally dead Dwarf; 16 is the nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain; 35 is a bridge; 13 is a clearing filled with Scorpions; 9 is a dead thief's former picnic site; 20 is a cliff overlooking a river; 33 is a riverbank; Fog is poisonous, dealing 2 STAMINA damage; 29 had a dead Unicorn, and is now empty; 18 contains Sword Trees; 34 is a stream, now frozen; 4 is the Master of Wolves' house; 1 is another crossroads)

[Username17]

When the ring tells you to fight, fight. Talking to this dude is just asking for heartache.

-Username17

[Darth Rabbitt]

You sense that the Master of Spiders is wholly and foully evil, and you attack him with your sword. He counter-attacks with a gleaming wand. You see that its tip is sharply pointed, and smeared with a foul greenish substance. Each time the wand strikes you, it does 1 extra point of damage to your STAMINA score.

MASTER OF SPIDERS SKILL 9 STAMINA 6

Combat Log:

Master of Spiders 15, Dicklong 18. Master of Spiders is at 4.
Master of Spiders 15, Dicklong 17. Master of Spiders is at 2.
Master of Spiders 15, Dicklong 13. Dicklong is at 15.
Master of Spiders 15, Dicklong 15. Tie.
Master of Spiders 15, Dicklong 17. Master of Spiders is dead.

Withdrawing your sword from the body of your foe, you sigh with relief. But all around you the Spiders are lurking, they start drawing closer and closer. You bend down and take the Spider Amulet from the body. When you pull it free, a spark seems to jump from it. Suddenly, the body bursts into flames! You leave hurriedly. Behind you, the flames are spreading and you hope they will wipe out the evil Spiders as well.

There are only two exits from this clearing.

(I assume we go south.)

Ahead of you is a clearing. Unlike the last one you found, the ground seems to be solid. This is Clearing 12. (Dicklong has not been here before.) You see several large flat stones, a huge hollow tree, and two other paths leading out. Will you:

Sit down and rest on a stone?
Investigate the hollow tree?
Leave the clearing immediately?

(I assume we leave, since we're so damn close to getting back to Poomchukker.)

You have a choice of three paths. They all seem rather swampy and hazardous. Will you go:

North?
East?
West?

(If our map is right, going west will bring us back to the entrance. So I assume we go that way.)

You are in Clearing 1. Actually, this is no more than a wide spot where three trails meet. The ground is very shaky and wet, and huge insects flit over the pools of water that dot the ground.

Do you want to step carefully across to another trail, or rather just jump over the soft part?

(I assume we jump again, since we know we can't fail since it works off STAMINA.)

Roll two dice. (7.) If the result is equal to or less than your STAMINA (it is), you made the jump. Otherwise, you fell short, caught your leg in the mire, and twisted your arm slightly when you landed. Subtract 1 point from your SKILL. You may now leave the clearing. Will you travel:

West?
East?
South?

(I assume we go south and exit the swamp.)

It seems to become lighter as you walk along. Through the trees above you, you suddenly catch a glimpse of blue sky! A few minutes later, you see an opening in the trees - and when you step through, you realize that you have left the swamp! If you are not ready to leave Scorpion Swamp, you may retrace your steps and walk back the way you came until you reach the first clearing. If you are ready to return and report the outcome of your quest (I assume we are.)

You feel that you have done all you can. Now you must return to your patron and report your success or your failure.

(Dicklong undertook his quest for Poomchukker.)

You make your way across the fields and along the winding roads, towards the village market-place. There stands the house of Poomchukker, just as you left it. You knock on the door, and the Goblin girl admits you. She takes you to Poomchukker's library. There he sits, swathed in a silken robe. "Well, how did it go?" he booms. "Did you bring me a map of the path to Willowbend?"

(Dicklong reached Willowbend in his travels.)

You smile broadly and pull a tattered piece of parchment out of your pocket. It is the map you faithfully kept of your journey. Clearly marked on it are the paths on which you traveled and clearings where you fought. Each hazard is indicated. As you explain it to Poomchukker, he is more and more delighted. Finally, he claps you on the back - and, although you are strong, you stagger. "Wonderful!" he says. "Perfect!" He reaches into a drawer and brings out a huge emerald. "Call it a bonus!" he laughs. My first caravan will leave tomorrow. You will be my guest here for as long as you like . . . and half of my savings for a year are yours, just as I promised." You smile and thank him. You are pleased to find out that the mysterious Poomchukker is an honorable man; maybe some day you will know him better. But, for now, your quest is a success and your adventure is at an end.

Dicklong Eldritcock
SKILL 9/9
STAMINA 18/22
LUCK 10/11
Equipment: Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Sword Tree Seeds, Unicorn Horn, Red Cloak, Gold Chain
Amulets: Spider Amulet
Spells: Illusion x 1, Friendship x 1, Luck x 1
Map:
[W]....[15]<-[X]
..^........v......^
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]
..............................^
..........[33]->[20]..[35]
............^.......v.......^
..........FOG....[9]->[13]
............^......^?
..........[29]->[5]->[24]
............^...............v
..........[18]...........[17]
............^...............v
..........[34].............v
............^...............v
...........[4]<-[1]<-[12]
(Ignore ellipses. 12 is a tree hollow; 17 is the former abode of the now-dead Master of Spiders; 24 is a patch of freshly cut Crab Grass; 5 is a former battleground; W is the town of Willowbend; 10 is an encampment of Brigands; 28 is a pool of freshly killed Slime; 15 has some Will-o'-the-wisps, X is a crossroads; 32 is the former home of a dead Giant Scorpion and an equally dead Dwarf; 16 is the nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain; 35 is a bridge; 13 is a clearing filled with Scorpions; 9 is a dead thief's former picnic site; 20 is a cliff overlooking a river; 33 is a riverbank; Fog is poisonous, dealing 2 STAMINA damage; 29 had a dead Unicorn, and is now empty; 18 contains Sword Trees; 34 is a stream, now frozen; 4 is the Master of Wolves' house; 1 is another crossroads)

(Despite Poomchukker's amazing name, he probably has the most boring quest, although it's also the easiest. Votes are heavily in favor of playing through both other quests; so who do we work for this time? The good wizard Selator or the evil wizard Grimslade?)

Oh, and our new character:

I Live Only to Destroy our Mutual Enemies (as per Shrapnel's suggestion)
SKILL 10/10
STAMINA 20/20
LUCK 9/9
Equipment: Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: None
Amulets: None
Spells: None
Map:
[W]....[15]<-[X]
..^........v......^
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]
..............................^
..........[33]->[20]..[35]
............^.......v.......^
..........FOG....[9]->[13]
............^......^?
..........[29]->[5]->[24]
............^...............v
..........[18]...........[17]
............^...............v
..........[34].............v
............^...............v
...........[4]<-[1]<-[12]
(Key: Ignore ellipses. Now listing clearings in numerical order. And we totally get our map from the previous quest, because that's seriously how it's supposed to work. Metagaming FTW)

1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
4: The Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffs lives with his two Wolves.
5: A former battleground. Contents unknown.
9: A Thief's picnic site. The Thief carries a Red Cloak.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
12: A tree hollow. Contents unknown.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain
17: The abode of the Master of Spiders, and his Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
24: A patch of Crab Grass.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: Home of a wounded Unicorn, with two Spell Gems tucked away.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion eating a Dwarf, carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.

[angelfromanotherpin]

Ilot Dome seems like an Evil kinda guy.

[Username17]

I think that Ilot Dome should be Good. Probably Lawful Stupid. Now that we've had the exposition, we can refuse to listen to it by announcing that we are only interested in the cause of GOOD. That's such a weird option that I want to see what happens when we do it.

-Username17

[Guyr Adamantine]

Yes! Good for the good god! Charity for the charity throne!