Presumably she thinks that we got the other amulets the nice way.
I vote we slay Flower Man. The Thief's dead, we may not need to upskill.
Let's Play Fighting Fantasy #8: Scorpion Swamp
Moderator: Moderators
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Omegonthesane
- Prince
- Posts: 3698
- Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:55 pm
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Darth Rabbitt
- Overlord
- Posts: 8870
- Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:31 pm
- Location: In "In The Trenches," mostly.
- Contact:
The knotted trees give way before you and you enter another clearing. This is Clearing 5. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.)
You see few signs of the earlier battle. The bodies of the Orcs have gone. A foot-long Scorpion glares at you from a pool as you hurry through the clearing.
There are three paths leading out of the clearing. The one that leads east is somewhat narrower and darker than the others. Will you go:
North?
East?
West?
You are back in the clearing where you met the Thief. (Sir Puppykicker killed the Thief.)
There are three paths leading away from the clearing. The northern one seems to slope downwards. Will you go:
North?
South?
East?
You can see that ahead of you two other paths join yours in a small clearing. You are in Clearing 13. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.)
You have returned to the clearing where you met the horde of Scorpions. You look around to see whether they are still about. Yes . . . there they are, coming towards you from all sides! You are ready for them this time.
Your reactions are quick. You have time to decide how to deal with the Scorpions. Will you:
Stamp on them and strike with your sword?
Cast a Fire Spell?
Leap over them to safety?
(I assume jump, since we know we can't fail with our current STAMINA score.)
Roll two dice. (5,6=11.) If the total is less than or equal to your STAMINA (it is), you jump over them. If the total is greater than your STAMINA, you do not leap quite far enough, and you are stung. Lose 3 points of STAMINA.
Hurriedly, you choose an exit. Will you go:
North?
East?
West?
Ahead of you there is an opening in the trees. You investigate. You are in Clearing 35. You can see the wide Foulbrood River, running east and west. A great stone bridge crosses the river. It looks totally deserted.
Do you go on to the bridge or do you distrust the bridge and rather turn around?
(I assume we cross, since we know it's safe, and we want to get that tree-hugger's bling.)
The bridge is old but in good repair.
Do you go north or go south?
(North leads to Master of Gardens)
You are in a clearing where one huge tree rises from the hard, bare ground. In the tree is a gigantic nest made of sticks. You are in Clearing 16. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) You stop to look at the great nest. Then you hear a rushing of wings behind you. A huge EAGLE is hovering over the clearing, watching you. Do you have:
Some Parrot Feathers?
A silver Bird Amulet?
Neither of these?
(I assume our fake counts, since the Mistress of Birds said that "anyone who sees it will believe it to be a true amulet.")
The Eagle gives a great cry and circles the clearing once; then it flies to its nest. You are happy to leave it in peace.
You have no reason to linger. You have a choice of three paths. Will you travel:
South?
East?
West?
The trail takes you to a small open spot where, years ago, a great tree fell and dragged down several others. This is Clearing 32. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) As you approach, you hear the sound of fighting. You step round a tree to see a GIANT SCORPION fighting a Dwarf who is wearing leather armor. The Dwarf is in trouble. As you rush towards the fight, the Scorpion catches the Dwarf's neck in one of its claws and throws him to the ground, where he lies still. You doubt that you have any magic spells which would be worth using on this enemy.
Do you leave the clearing while the monster feasts on the Dwarf, or attack the Giant Scorpion?
(We leave, because we're a cold-hearted bastard.)
You leave the clearing.
Do you go north or east?
(Twice north leads us to the Ranger, who leads us to the Master of Gardens.)
You find yourself at a crossing of paths. Which way will you go?
North?
South?
East?
West?
(North.)
The path is narrow here, and winds about to avoid some huge boulders. It is foggy, and you cannot see far. Suddenly the fog lifts and you see that you have entered another clearing. You are in Clearing 19. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) From the top of a boulder, a man hails you. He is tall and bronzed, dressed all in green, and you know he must be a RANGER. "Ho, fighter!" he challenges you. "Do you serve Good or Evil?" (Sir Puppykicker's patron is Grimslade.)
You know that it would be foolish to tell this man that you serve an evil wizard. "I serve the forces of Good," you reply, "but right now I only want to find my way out of this swamp. I am looking for one of the wizards called the Masters." Test your Luck. (1,4=5; Lucky!)
Luckily for you, he believes your story. "Well, you are heading in the right direction," he says. "Just to the east is the abode of the Master of Gardens, who is a good wizard and very powerful." You thank him for his information and go on.
There are two paths leading out of the clearing.
Do you go east or go south?
(I assume East, to get to the Master of Gardens.)
The eastward path is well tended; the trees and bushes do not grow across the trail, but are trimmed back. Before long you reach a pleasant clearing. You are in Clearing 27. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) Everywhere different sorts of plants are growing . . . some are flowering, and they all look healthy and attractive. The entire glade looks too beautiful to be natural, and too natural to be a garden. As you look around, a middle-aged man approaches you. He is tall and broad-shouldered, and he wears work-stained clothes. But you know from the silver Flower Amulet around his neck that he is no laborer, but the MASTER OF GARDENS. Your Brass Ring tells you that he is friendly. (Sir Puppykicker is serving Grimslade.)
Around the neck of the Master of Gardens you see one of the Amulets you have been sent to find. Will you:
Attack him with your sword?
Cast a Fire spell?
Cast a Wither spell?
Cast an Illusion spell?
Cast a Friendship spell?
Talk to him peacefully?
(So, how do we deal with this guy? Also, do we want to Skill and/or Luck Up before trying anything? There seemed to be some debate about that earlier.)
Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 9/11 (10/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 16/16
LUCK 8/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet, Fake Bird Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 1, Skill x 1, Luck x 1, Friendship x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)
You see few signs of the earlier battle. The bodies of the Orcs have gone. A foot-long Scorpion glares at you from a pool as you hurry through the clearing.
There are three paths leading out of the clearing. The one that leads east is somewhat narrower and darker than the others. Will you go:
North?
East?
West?
You are back in the clearing where you met the Thief. (Sir Puppykicker killed the Thief.)
There are three paths leading away from the clearing. The northern one seems to slope downwards. Will you go:
North?
South?
East?
You have returned to the clearing where you met the horde of Scorpions. You look around to see whether they are still about. Yes . . . there they are, coming towards you from all sides! You are ready for them this time.
Your reactions are quick. You have time to decide how to deal with the Scorpions. Will you:
Stamp on them and strike with your sword?
Cast a Fire Spell?
Leap over them to safety?
(I assume jump, since we know we can't fail with our current STAMINA score.)
Roll two dice. (5,6=11.) If the total is less than or equal to your STAMINA (it is), you jump over them. If the total is greater than your STAMINA, you do not leap quite far enough, and you are stung. Lose 3 points of STAMINA.
Hurriedly, you choose an exit. Will you go:
North?
East?
West?
Ahead of you there is an opening in the trees. You investigate. You are in Clearing 35. You can see the wide Foulbrood River, running east and west. A great stone bridge crosses the river. It looks totally deserted.
Do you go on to the bridge or do you distrust the bridge and rather turn around?
(I assume we cross, since we know it's safe, and we want to get that tree-hugger's bling.)
The bridge is old but in good repair.
Do you go north or go south?
(North leads to Master of Gardens)
Some Parrot Feathers?
A silver Bird Amulet?
Neither of these?
(I assume our fake counts, since the Mistress of Birds said that "anyone who sees it will believe it to be a true amulet.")
The Eagle gives a great cry and circles the clearing once; then it flies to its nest. You are happy to leave it in peace.
You have no reason to linger. You have a choice of three paths. Will you travel:
South?
East?
West?
Do you leave the clearing while the monster feasts on the Dwarf, or attack the Giant Scorpion?
(We leave, because we're a cold-hearted bastard.)
You leave the clearing.
Do you go north or east?
(Twice north leads us to the Ranger, who leads us to the Master of Gardens.)
You find yourself at a crossing of paths. Which way will you go?
North?
South?
East?
West?
(North.)
You know that it would be foolish to tell this man that you serve an evil wizard. "I serve the forces of Good," you reply, "but right now I only want to find my way out of this swamp. I am looking for one of the wizards called the Masters." Test your Luck. (1,4=5; Lucky!)
Luckily for you, he believes your story. "Well, you are heading in the right direction," he says. "Just to the east is the abode of the Master of Gardens, who is a good wizard and very powerful." You thank him for his information and go on.
There are two paths leading out of the clearing.
Do you go east or go south?
(I assume East, to get to the Master of Gardens.)
Around the neck of the Master of Gardens you see one of the Amulets you have been sent to find. Will you:
Attack him with your sword?
Cast a Fire spell?
Cast a Wither spell?
Cast an Illusion spell?
Cast a Friendship spell?
Talk to him peacefully?
(So, how do we deal with this guy? Also, do we want to Skill and/or Luck Up before trying anything? There seemed to be some debate about that earlier.)
Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 9/11 (10/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 16/16
LUCK 8/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet, Fake Bird Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 1, Skill x 1, Luck x 1, Friendship x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)
1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16. If you serve Evil and are honest to her about it she'll give a fake Bird Amulet.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain. It is friendly to those who carry a Bird Amulet.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good. And just as friendly to Lucky servants of Evil who lie to him.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The withered remains of the legendary Fear Flowers, which in life damaged the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of freshly cut Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16. If you serve Evil and are honest to her about it she'll give a fake Bird Amulet.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain. It is friendly to those who carry a Bird Amulet.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good. And just as friendly to Lucky servants of Evil who lie to him.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The withered remains of the legendary Fear Flowers, which in life damaged the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of freshly cut Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
-
Darth Rabbitt
- Overlord
- Posts: 8870
- Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:31 pm
- Location: In "In The Trenches," mostly.
- Contact:
The Mistress of Birds sends out her birds to provide a distraction for her escape. Think what happened with the Master of Frogs, only there's no fight since the birds are only stalling for time.Dr_Noface wrote:What happens if you attack Lady Birdbrow?
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
-
Omegonthesane
- Prince
- Posts: 3698
- Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:55 pm
See if you can't get the amulet out of Mr Gardens with a Friendship speech.
Kaelik wrote:Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath, Justin Bieber, shitmuffin
-
Darth Rabbitt
- Overlord
- Posts: 8870
- Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:31 pm
- Location: In "In The Trenches," mostly.
- Contact:
(I expected more of a turnout for the final Master, since multiple people requested we go after him. That's why I waited for so long, actually.)
You cast the Friendship spell that you found in the glade of the Unicorn. The Master of Gardens smiles broadly; "What can I do for you, my friend?" You ask him for his Flower Amulet. He takes it from around his neck and drops it over your head. When it touches you, you are paralyzed! He looks deep into your eyes, and commands you to tell him the truth about yourself, and you cannot disobey. He shakes his head. "You are not a bad person, but you do serve a bad master. The kindest thing I can do for you is to advise you to be on your guard." He takes the Amulet back and walks away. Eventually you regain control of your limbs and leave, going west.
(Master of Gardens: "You may kick puppies, but I think those things are overrated. They dig up and piss on my plants all the fucking time. Good job teaching them their place; you're a truly noble man Sir Puppykicker. But working for Evil wizards is going too far; you should pursue solo puppykicking projects.")
You return to the clearing where you met the Ranger.
(Sir Puppykicker parted from him in friendship.)
There is no sign of the Ranger now; he has melted into the woods.
There are two paths leading out of the clearing.
Do you go east or go south?
(Now I assume we go south.)
You find yourself at a crossing of paths. Which way will you go?
North?
South?
East?
West?
(Two Amulets have eluded us, and a third is a replica. We do have two real ones though, acquired through the ancient and noble art of facestabbing. So, what do we want to do now? Should we just report back to Grimslade and hope that he can't believe it's not Bird Amulet, or should we stock up on spells in Willowbend first, in case Grimslade sees through the clever fake and is pissed about it? Also, do we want to Skill Up and Luck Up now?)
Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 9/11 (10/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 16/16
LUCK 8/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet, Fake Bird Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 1, Skill x 1, Luck x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)
You cast the Friendship spell that you found in the glade of the Unicorn. The Master of Gardens smiles broadly; "What can I do for you, my friend?" You ask him for his Flower Amulet. He takes it from around his neck and drops it over your head. When it touches you, you are paralyzed! He looks deep into your eyes, and commands you to tell him the truth about yourself, and you cannot disobey. He shakes his head. "You are not a bad person, but you do serve a bad master. The kindest thing I can do for you is to advise you to be on your guard." He takes the Amulet back and walks away. Eventually you regain control of your limbs and leave, going west.
(Master of Gardens: "You may kick puppies, but I think those things are overrated. They dig up and piss on my plants all the fucking time. Good job teaching them their place; you're a truly noble man Sir Puppykicker. But working for Evil wizards is going too far; you should pursue solo puppykicking projects.")
You return to the clearing where you met the Ranger.
(Sir Puppykicker parted from him in friendship.)
There is no sign of the Ranger now; he has melted into the woods.
There are two paths leading out of the clearing.
Do you go east or go south?
(Now I assume we go south.)
You find yourself at a crossing of paths. Which way will you go?
North?
South?
East?
West?
(Two Amulets have eluded us, and a third is a replica. We do have two real ones though, acquired through the ancient and noble art of facestabbing. So, what do we want to do now? Should we just report back to Grimslade and hope that he can't believe it's not Bird Amulet, or should we stock up on spells in Willowbend first, in case Grimslade sees through the clever fake and is pissed about it? Also, do we want to Skill Up and Luck Up now?)
Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 9/11 (10/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 16/16
LUCK 8/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet, Fake Bird Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1, Wither x 1, Skill x 1, Luck x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)
1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16. If you serve Evil and are honest to her about it she'll give a fake Bird Amulet.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain. It is friendly to those who carry a Bird Amulet.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good. And just as friendly to Lucky servants of Evil who lie to him.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The withered remains of the legendary Fear Flowers, which in life damaged the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of freshly cut Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem. To servants of Evil who cast Friendship on him, he temporarily paralyzes them and runs off with his Flower Amulet. Not really good friend material there; he could have at least given us another fake.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16. If you serve Evil and are honest to her about it she'll give a fake Bird Amulet.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain. It is friendly to those who carry a Bird Amulet.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good. And just as friendly to Lucky servants of Evil who lie to him.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The withered remains of the legendary Fear Flowers, which in life damaged the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of freshly cut Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem. To servants of Evil who cast Friendship on him, he temporarily paralyzes them and runs off with his Flower Amulet. Not really good friend material there; he could have at least given us another fake.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen.
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
What happens if we return to the plant wizard / frog wizard / bird wizard clearings?
Gary Gygax wrote:The player’s path to role-playing mastery begins with a thorough understanding of the rules of the game
Bigode wrote:I wouldn't normally make that blanket of a suggestion, but you seem to deserve it: scroll through the entire forum, read anything that looks interesting in term of design experience, then come back.
-
Darth Rabbitt
- Overlord
- Posts: 8870
- Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:31 pm
- Location: In "In The Trenches," mostly.
- Contact:
(Dr_Noface: it doesn't affect him, but it kills one of his trees and he spazzes out and casts Fire on you, dealing 2 STAMINA damage, and then the combat music plays and goes to the same section as attacking him.)
(ishy: their clearings will be empty.)
(in general: I assume that silence means SKILL and LUCK up with our two spells, then go back to Grimslade.)
The trail takes you to a small open spot where, years ago, a great tree fell and dragged down several others. This is Clearing 32. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.)
You recognize the clearing where you met the Scorpion and the Dwarf. There is nothing left now but a few scraps of bone and leather armor.
You leave the clearing. (I assume we go east.)
You are back in the clearing where the great Eagle nested. All you see is the old tree and the nest. Sir Puppykicker did not fight the Eagle.)
You are curious about the great nest.
Would you like to climb up and examine it, or would you rather leave?
(I assume leave.)
You have no reason to linger. You have a choice of three paths. Will you travel:
South?
East?
West?
(I assume south.)
Ahead of you there is an opening in the trees. You investigate. You are in Clearing 35. You can see the wide Foulbrood River, running east and west. A great stone bridge crosses the river. It looks totally deserted.
Do you go on to the bridge or do you distrust the bridge and rather turn around?
(I assume we cross, since we know it's safe.)
The bridge is old but in good repair. (I'm assuming we choose to go south, as once more going in the direction we came from would be identical to not having crossed the bridge at all.)
You can see that ahead of you two other paths join yours in a small clearing. You are in Clearing 13. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.)
You have returned to the clearing where you met the horde of Scorpions. You look around to see whether they are still about. Yes . . . there they are, coming towards you from all sides! You are ready for them this time.
Your reactions are quick. You have time to decide how to deal with the Scorpions. Will you:
Stamp on them and strike with your sword?
Cast a Fire Spell?
Leap over them to safety?
(I assume jump, since we know we can't fail with our current STAMINA score.)
Roll two dice. (6,3=9.) If the total is less than or equal to your STAMINA (it is), you jump over them. If the total is greater than your STAMINA, you do not leap quite far enough, and you are stung. Lose 3 points of STAMINA.
Hurriedly, you choose an exit. Will you go:
North?
East?
West?
You are back in the clearing where you met the Thief. Sir Puppykicker killed the Thief.)
There are three paths leading away from the clearing. The northern one seems to slope downwards. Will you go:
North?
South?
East?
(I imagine south, to the clearing then to the crossroads.)
The knotted trees give way before you and you enter another clearing. This is Clearing 5. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.)
You see few signs of the earlier battle. The bodies of the Orcs have gone. A foot-long Scorpion glares at you from a pool as you hurry through the clearing.
There are three paths leading out of the clearing. The one that leads east is somewhat narrower and darker than the others. Will you go:
North?
East?
West?
(West is best for getting to the Unicorn's crossroads.)
The path dips slightly downwards and leads into a grassy clearing. This is Clearing 29. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.) This is the glade where you met the Unicorn, but there is nothing here now.
There are four exits. Will you go:
North?
South?
East?
West?
(South, I assume.)
The path narrows menacingly. You wonder for a second if you have reached a dead end. Then it becomes wider again. You step into a very small clearing. You are in Clearing 18. (Sir Puppykicker has not been here before.) You see several unusual trees around you. They are dark green and rather small, with snaky limbs. Suddenly you realize that each limb ends in a sword, and they are moving! You are being attacked by the dreaded SWORD TREES! They are all around you now.
Do you want to fight them with your own sword or try a magic spell?
(I assume we cast Wither.)
You are certain that the Wither spell was intended for such a situation. Quickly, you cast it on the Sword Trees. To your delight, they immediately turn brown and collapse. You look around the clearing. You find nothing except a few seeds which look as though they might have come from the Sword Trees. You pocket them and go on.
(FUCK YEAH WITHER KICKS ASS)
Even as you pocket the seeds, you see new growth stirring at the base of the trees. You leave quickly. Will you go:
North?
South?
West?
(South this time. We're getting out of here.)
You have crossed several shallow streams, but now you are faced with a deeper one. This is Clearing 34. You see movement in the water below, and you are not sure that you care to wade across. Will you:
Use the Ice spell?
Use the Wither spell?
Wade across, very carefully?
(We have to wade.)
You are not attacked as you wade across, but when you reach the other side, you are disgusted to find several large Leeches on your legs, drinking your blood! Roll two dice and lose as many STAMINA points as shown on the lower of the two. (3,2; 2 is the lower of the two.) You may travel north or south from here.
(South.)
You enter a medium-sized clearing containing a small house built of logs. You are in Clearing 4. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.)
You are in the clearing of the Master of Wolves. The hut is locked tightly, and there is no sign of anyone.
You have two choices.
(And now we go East.)
You are in Clearing 1. Actually, this is no more than a wide spot where three trails meet. The ground is very shaky and wet, and huge insects flit over the pools of water that dot the ground.
Do you want to step carefully across to another trail, or rather just jump over the soft part?
(I assume we jump again, since we know we can't fail since it works off STAMINA.)
Roll two dice. (4,5=9.) If the result is equal to or less than your STAMINA (it is), you made the jump. Otherwise, you fell short, caught your leg in the mire, and twisted your arm slightly when you landed. Subtract 1 point from your SKILL. You may now leave the clearing. Will you travel:
West?
East?
South?
(I assume we go south and exit the swamp.)
It seems to become lighter as you walk along. Through the trees above you, you suddenly catch a glimpse of blue sky! A few minutes later, you see an opening in the trees - and when you step through, you realize that you have left the swamp! If you are not ready to leave Scorpion Swamp, you may retrace your steps and walk back the way you came until you reach the first clearing. If you are ready to return and report the outcome of your quest (I assume we are.)
You feel that you have done all you can. Now you must return to your patron and report your success or your failure. (Sir Puppykicker undertook his quest for Grimslade.)
A stone's throw from the swamp's edge you find the tower of Grimslade, still reeking with evil. Once again you see the great iron door with its hideous expression - but it has changed somehow. You shiver and start to knock, but the door opens in front of you. Grimslade is there, quivering with eagerness. "Did you get them? What have you brought me? Where are they?" He holds out his hand. What do you tell him you have?
No Amulets at all?
One or two Amulets?
Three or more Amulets?
(We have three, although one is a fake. But he doesn't know that.)
He laughs gleefully. "Excellent! I knew you would not fail. Give them to me." Will you hand them over, or ask for your payment first?
(This seems blatantly obvious. But maybe the smart way isn't the fun way.)
Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 11/11 (12/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 14/16
LUCK 11/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet, Fake Bird Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)
(ishy: their clearings will be empty.)
(in general: I assume that silence means SKILL and LUCK up with our two spells, then go back to Grimslade.)
The trail takes you to a small open spot where, years ago, a great tree fell and dragged down several others. This is Clearing 32. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.)
You recognize the clearing where you met the Scorpion and the Dwarf. There is nothing left now but a few scraps of bone and leather armor.
You leave the clearing. (I assume we go east.)
You are back in the clearing where the great Eagle nested. All you see is the old tree and the nest. Sir Puppykicker did not fight the Eagle.)
You are curious about the great nest.
Would you like to climb up and examine it, or would you rather leave?
(I assume leave.)
You have no reason to linger. You have a choice of three paths. Will you travel:
South?
East?
West?
(I assume south.)
Ahead of you there is an opening in the trees. You investigate. You are in Clearing 35. You can see the wide Foulbrood River, running east and west. A great stone bridge crosses the river. It looks totally deserted.
Do you go on to the bridge or do you distrust the bridge and rather turn around?
(I assume we cross, since we know it's safe.)
The bridge is old but in good repair. (I'm assuming we choose to go south, as once more going in the direction we came from would be identical to not having crossed the bridge at all.)
You have returned to the clearing where you met the horde of Scorpions. You look around to see whether they are still about. Yes . . . there they are, coming towards you from all sides! You are ready for them this time.
Your reactions are quick. You have time to decide how to deal with the Scorpions. Will you:
Stamp on them and strike with your sword?
Cast a Fire Spell?
Leap over them to safety?
(I assume jump, since we know we can't fail with our current STAMINA score.)
Roll two dice. (6,3=9.) If the total is less than or equal to your STAMINA (it is), you jump over them. If the total is greater than your STAMINA, you do not leap quite far enough, and you are stung. Lose 3 points of STAMINA.
Hurriedly, you choose an exit. Will you go:
North?
East?
West?
You are back in the clearing where you met the Thief. Sir Puppykicker killed the Thief.)
There are three paths leading away from the clearing. The northern one seems to slope downwards. Will you go:
North?
South?
East?
(I imagine south, to the clearing then to the crossroads.)
The knotted trees give way before you and you enter another clearing. This is Clearing 5. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.)
You see few signs of the earlier battle. The bodies of the Orcs have gone. A foot-long Scorpion glares at you from a pool as you hurry through the clearing.
There are three paths leading out of the clearing. The one that leads east is somewhat narrower and darker than the others. Will you go:
North?
East?
West?
(West is best for getting to the Unicorn's crossroads.)
The path dips slightly downwards and leads into a grassy clearing. This is Clearing 29. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.) This is the glade where you met the Unicorn, but there is nothing here now.
There are four exits. Will you go:
North?
South?
East?
West?
(South, I assume.)
Do you want to fight them with your own sword or try a magic spell?
(I assume we cast Wither.)
You are certain that the Wither spell was intended for such a situation. Quickly, you cast it on the Sword Trees. To your delight, they immediately turn brown and collapse. You look around the clearing. You find nothing except a few seeds which look as though they might have come from the Sword Trees. You pocket them and go on.
(FUCK YEAH WITHER KICKS ASS)
Even as you pocket the seeds, you see new growth stirring at the base of the trees. You leave quickly. Will you go:
North?
South?
West?
(South this time. We're getting out of here.)
You have crossed several shallow streams, but now you are faced with a deeper one. This is Clearing 34. You see movement in the water below, and you are not sure that you care to wade across. Will you:
Use the Ice spell?
Use the Wither spell?
Wade across, very carefully?
(We have to wade.)
You are not attacked as you wade across, but when you reach the other side, you are disgusted to find several large Leeches on your legs, drinking your blood! Roll two dice and lose as many STAMINA points as shown on the lower of the two. (3,2; 2 is the lower of the two.) You may travel north or south from here.
(South.)
You enter a medium-sized clearing containing a small house built of logs. You are in Clearing 4. (Sir Puppykicker has been here before.)
You are in the clearing of the Master of Wolves. The hut is locked tightly, and there is no sign of anyone.
You have two choices.
(And now we go East.)
You are in Clearing 1. Actually, this is no more than a wide spot where three trails meet. The ground is very shaky and wet, and huge insects flit over the pools of water that dot the ground.
Do you want to step carefully across to another trail, or rather just jump over the soft part?
(I assume we jump again, since we know we can't fail since it works off STAMINA.)
Roll two dice. (4,5=9.) If the result is equal to or less than your STAMINA (it is), you made the jump. Otherwise, you fell short, caught your leg in the mire, and twisted your arm slightly when you landed. Subtract 1 point from your SKILL. You may now leave the clearing. Will you travel:
West?
East?
South?
(I assume we go south and exit the swamp.)
It seems to become lighter as you walk along. Through the trees above you, you suddenly catch a glimpse of blue sky! A few minutes later, you see an opening in the trees - and when you step through, you realize that you have left the swamp! If you are not ready to leave Scorpion Swamp, you may retrace your steps and walk back the way you came until you reach the first clearing. If you are ready to return and report the outcome of your quest (I assume we are.)
You feel that you have done all you can. Now you must return to your patron and report your success or your failure. (Sir Puppykicker undertook his quest for Grimslade.)
A stone's throw from the swamp's edge you find the tower of Grimslade, still reeking with evil. Once again you see the great iron door with its hideous expression - but it has changed somehow. You shiver and start to knock, but the door opens in front of you. Grimslade is there, quivering with eagerness. "Did you get them? What have you brought me? Where are they?" He holds out his hand. What do you tell him you have?
No Amulets at all?
One or two Amulets?
Three or more Amulets?
(We have three, although one is a fake. But he doesn't know that.)
He laughs gleefully. "Excellent! I knew you would not fail. Give them to me." Will you hand them over, or ask for your payment first?
(This seems blatantly obvious. But maybe the smart way isn't the fun way.)
Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 11/11 (12/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 14/16
LUCK 11/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: Wolf Amulet, Spider Amulet, Fake Bird Amulet
Potions: None
Spells: Curse x 1
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)
1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16. If you serve Evil and are honest to her about it she'll give a fake Bird Amulet.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain. It is friendly to those who carry a Bird Amulet.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them. Wither fucks their shit up something fierce, though.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good. And just as friendly to Lucky servants of Evil who lie to him.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The withered remains of the legendary Fear Flowers, which in life damaged the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of freshly cut Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem. To servants of Evil who cast Friendship on him, he temporarily paralyzes them and runs off with his Flower Amulet. Not really good friend material there; he could have at least given us another fake.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen. It can also be waded across, but the leeches which call it home drain (2d6, drop the higher roll) worth of STAMINA
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16. If you serve Evil and are honest to her about it she'll give a fake Bird Amulet.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain. It is friendly to those who carry a Bird Amulet.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them. Wither fucks their shit up something fierce, though.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good. And just as friendly to Lucky servants of Evil who lie to him.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The withered remains of the legendary Fear Flowers, which in life damaged the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of freshly cut Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem. To servants of Evil who cast Friendship on him, he temporarily paralyzes them and runs off with his Flower Amulet. Not really good friend material there; he could have at least given us another fake.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen. It can also be waded across, but the leeches which call it home drain (2d6, drop the higher roll) worth of STAMINA
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
-
Omegonthesane
- Prince
- Posts: 3698
- Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:55 pm
Demand payment first, then start the Benny Hill music before he's had a good look at Miss Birdy's amulet.
Kaelik wrote:Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath, Justin Bieber, shitmuffin
Hand them over first, try not to look suspicious and be ready to shank him.
Gary Gygax wrote:The player’s path to role-playing mastery begins with a thorough understanding of the rules of the game
Bigode wrote:I wouldn't normally make that blanket of a suggestion, but you seem to deserve it: scroll through the entire forum, read anything that looks interesting in term of design experience, then come back.
-
Username17
- Serious Badass
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I'm really surprised at how railroady and bullshit the encounters with the masters are. It's all "guess the number I'm thinking of or go fuck yourself". Considering how open the rest of map is, I was rather expecting more of a "multiple solutions" possibility for dealing with those assholes.
Anyway, is it possible to give him the amulets and then face stab him justifiably when he inevitably refuses to pay us?
Also, what is up with the golden magnet? It stops us from losing skill to arrows in the Orc ambush and it can be sold for a spell gem in Willowbend, but where the fuck is it? I think we've gone everywhere and found exactly zero golden magnets.
-Username17
Anyway, is it possible to give him the amulets and then face stab him justifiably when he inevitably refuses to pay us?
Also, what is up with the golden magnet? It stops us from losing skill to arrows in the Orc ambush and it can be sold for a spell gem in Willowbend, but where the fuck is it? I think we've gone everywhere and found exactly zero golden magnets.
-Username17
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Darth Rabbitt
- Overlord
- Posts: 8870
- Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:31 pm
- Location: In "In The Trenches," mostly.
- Contact:
(Frank: It's in clearing 5, on a dead guy. You have to search the clearing the first time you enter it. We actually picked it up in this play through. I have a lot to say about fighting the Masters, but I will leave that for my conclusion.)
(Well, it's 2 for handing in the Amulets first, and 1 for demanding payment first. Handing them in wins.)
You hand Grimslade the Amulets for which you braved Scorpion Swamp. He takes them from you, smirking nastily. Stepping out of the room, he returns with a small but heavy pouch. He tosses it to you, and you hear the clink of coins. "Begone," he says, "and do not return, for I am done with you."
As you cross the threshold, you realize that the pouch is not as heavy as it should be - not even by half! After you risked your life for him in the swamp, Grimslade has cheated you. Will you:
Run back and attack?
Run back and cast a Curse spell?
Run back and cast a Fear spell?
Run back and cast a Fire spell?
Run back and cast an Illusion spell?
Take what you have and leave?
(I assume we cap his punk ass, but I don't know whether we want to fight him with the last spell he gave us or with the Magic Sword he gave us.)
(Well, it's 2 for handing in the Amulets first, and 1 for demanding payment first. Handing them in wins.)
You hand Grimslade the Amulets for which you braved Scorpion Swamp. He takes them from you, smirking nastily. Stepping out of the room, he returns with a small but heavy pouch. He tosses it to you, and you hear the clink of coins. "Begone," he says, "and do not return, for I am done with you."
As you cross the threshold, you realize that the pouch is not as heavy as it should be - not even by half! After you risked your life for him in the swamp, Grimslade has cheated you. Will you:
Run back and attack?
Run back and cast a Curse spell?
Run back and cast a Fear spell?
Run back and cast a Fire spell?
Run back and cast an Illusion spell?
Take what you have and leave?
(I assume we cap his punk ass, but I don't know whether we want to fight him with the last spell he gave us or with the Magic Sword he gave us.)
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
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Username17
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Guyr Adamantine
- Master
- Posts: 273
- Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 10:05 pm
- Location: Montreal
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Darth Rabbitt
- Overlord
- Posts: 8870
- Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:31 pm
- Location: In "In The Trenches," mostly.
- Contact:
You cast a Curse on the evil wizard . . . the Curse that he gave you himself. He screams and clutches at his throat. Of all spells, his own Curse has the most potent effect on him! He falls to the floor, dead. Then you feel the Curse's effect on you. Roll one die and lose that many points of STAMINA. (1; we're lucky with these Curses.) If you are still alive, you start to search his sinister tower to see what treasures he might have hidden away . . . but the air is becoming thick and oppressive. Your ring is still warning you of evil - more, if possible, than before. You smell brimstone.
Do you want to stay a few minutes and see what you can find or leave immediately?
Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 11/11 (12/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 13/16
LUCK 11/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: None
Potions: None
Spells: None
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)
Do you want to stay a few minutes and see what you can find or leave immediately?
Sir Puppykicker
SKILL 11/11 (12/12 when using Magic Sword)
STAMINA 13/16
LUCK 11/11
Equipment: Magic Sword, Chainmail, Brass Ring
Backpack: Violet Jewel, Red Cloak, Golden Magnet, Unicorn Horn
Amulets: None
Potions: None
Spells: None
Map:
..................[19]->[27]....[11]
.....................^................^
[W]....[15]<-[X]->->->->[07]
..^........v......^.................v
[10]<-[28]...[32]<-[16]<-[30]
...............................^
..........[33]->[20]...[35]
............^.......v........^
[14]...FOG....[09]->[13]->[03]->[21]
..^........^.......^................v
[23]<-[29]->[05]->[24]->[26]
............^.................v.......v
[06]<-[18].............[17]...[08]
............^.................v
..........[34]...............v
............^.................v
..........[04]<-[01]<-[12]->[25]
(Key: Ignore ellipses.)
1: Crossroads and entrance/exit to/from Scorpion Swamp.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16. If you serve Evil and are honest to her about it she'll give a fake Bird Amulet.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain. It is friendly to those who carry a Bird Amulet.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them. Wither fucks their shit up something fierce, though.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good. And just as friendly to Lucky servants of Evil who lie to him.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The withered remains of the legendary Fear Flowers, which in life damaged the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of freshly cut Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem. To servants of Evil who cast Friendship on him, he temporarily paralyzes them and runs off with his Flower Amulet. Not really good friend material there; he could have at least given us another fake.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen. It can also be waded across, but the leeches which call it home drain (2d6, drop the higher roll) worth of STAMINA
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.
3: Nothing here.
4: The now dead Master of Wolves' house, where he yiffed lived with his two equally dead Wolves. And his Wolf Amulet, which is now ours.
5: A former battleground. Contains a corpse wearing a Golden Magnet, which is now ours.
6: The home of a Dire Beast. Probably not worth going to, unless the claws do something cool.
7: A clearing occupied by a good-hearted Giant. He is upset because he lost his handkerchief, which is the Red Cloak that the Thief carries.
8: The home of the Master of Frogs. He likes Violet Jewels, and hates being attacked. If attacked, he sends out 2 Giant Frogs as Pokemon, and then runs away. The latter is what happened this time, and therefore we lost the chance to grab his Frog Amulet.
9: A dead Thief's former picnic site. The Thief carried a Red Cloak, which is now ours.
10: An encampment of surprisingly friendly Brigands.
11: The last Antherica plant, guarded by two Wolves.
12: A tree hollow that is the home of a Bear. It has no loot.
13: A clearing filled with Scorpions. Fire repels them but does not kill them.
14: A tropical clearing inhabited by the Mistress of Birds and her Parrot. If you serve Good she will give you a potion and a ride to Clearing 16. If you serve Evil and are honest to her about it she'll give a fake Bird Amulet.
15: Home of some Will-o'-the-wisps.
16: The nest of an Eagle, with a perfectly lootable Gold Chain. It is friendly to those who carry a Bird Amulet.
17: The former abode of the recently killed Master of Spiders, and his recently looted Spider Amulet.
18: Home of the dreaded Sword Trees. Fire is not very effective against them. Wither fucks their shit up something fierce, though.
19: Some boulders which a Ranger perches on. He's friendly to servants of Good. And just as friendly to Lucky servants of Evil who lie to him.
20: A cliff overlooking a river.
21: A pool of clear water. The water has healing properties, restoring 3 STAMINA.
23: The withered remains of the legendary Fear Flowers, which in life damaged the SKILL of any soul unfortunate enough to come across them.
24: A patch of freshly cut Crab Grass.
25: The home of the once more dead Pool Beast. It had a Violet Jewel embedded in its forehead, which is now ours. Again.
26: The former home of some Swamp Orcs we killed, whose bows cost you a SKILL point if you don't have a Golden Magnet Charm.
27: The home of the Master of Gardens. As a Good wizard, he is friendly to other servants of Good, and gives them a spell gem. To servants of Evil who cast Friendship on him, he temporarily paralyzes them and runs off with his Flower Amulet. Not really good friend material there; he could have at least given us another fake.
28: A pool of Slime.
29: The former home of a dead Unicorn, which gives out two Spell Gems (Luck and Friendship) as a reward for healing it. Or for a Lucky person who kills it and loots its lair. Like us.
30. A patch of quicksand. Avoid.
32: The home of a Giant Scorpion that eating a Dwarf. The Dwarf is carrying a Potion to make Dwarves Handsome (that is detrimental to humans.)
33: A riverbank.
34. A stream, which can be frozen. It can also be waded across, but the leeches which call it home drain (2d6, drop the higher roll) worth of STAMINA
35: A bridge which is safe to cross.
W: The town of Willowbend. The Bent Spear is a good place to stay, restoring 2 STAMINA.
X: A crossroads.
FOG: Poisonous fog that deals 2 STAMINA damage when walked through.
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
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Guyr Adamantine
- Master
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- Location: Montreal
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Username17
- Serious Badass
- Posts: 29894
- Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:54 pm
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Omegonthesane
- Prince
- Posts: 3698
- Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:55 pm
Let's hang around and fight whatever's coming. Or be disappointed when it turns out to be a false alarm.
Kaelik wrote:Because powerful men get away with terrible shit, and even the public domain ones get ignored, and then, when the floodgates open, it turns out there was a goddam flood behind it.
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath, Justin Bieber, shitmuffin
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Darth Rabbitt
- Overlord
- Posts: 8870
- Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:31 pm
- Location: In "In The Trenches," mostly.
- Contact:
(We could have stabbed the Master of Gardens in the face; I'm actually surprised that more people didn't vote to do anything regarding his encounter. He'd have been an annoying fight but not impossible.)
You ignore the awful odor and search the tower, humming happily to yourself as you stuff books and gold statues into a sack. Suddenly you hear a hissing sound. You spin around, and see a great black shadow. Two slitted, glowing eyes regard you from the darkness. "Thank you, mortal," says the hissing voice. "I have waited a long time for his soul. Now it is mine." You flee in fear as the shadow hovers over Grimslade's body. But you don't have time to escape. You have not yet reached the front door when the smell of brimstone becomes unbearable. Then the entire tower glows red-hot and explodes. Your adventure is over.
(Actually, getting nuked by a demon is one of the better bullshit bad endings I've seen in these books. And it's one of the few that actually exists in this book. Now, let's see what happens if we ran.)
You hurry out of the room, down the dim hallway and through the awful door. Soon the tower of evil is behind you. You fought against men and animals, you risked your life . . . and for what? An evil wizard is a dangerous and ungrateful master. And you realize that you were lucky to escape from Grimslade's clutches so lightly. At least you still have your life! You know that, though your quest was misguided, you have done the world a service by ridding it of the evil wizard. You resolve that in the future you will be more careful about whom you serve. Your adventure is over.
(And so Sir Puppykicker resolved to only kick puppies in the name of Good. In a few hours, I'll post up my personal thoughts on the Let's Play and the book in general, and answer any questions you may have.)
(Actually, getting nuked by a demon is one of the better bullshit bad endings I've seen in these books. And it's one of the few that actually exists in this book. Now, let's see what happens if we ran.)
You hurry out of the room, down the dim hallway and through the awful door. Soon the tower of evil is behind you. You fought against men and animals, you risked your life . . . and for what? An evil wizard is a dangerous and ungrateful master. And you realize that you were lucky to escape from Grimslade's clutches so lightly. At least you still have your life! You know that, though your quest was misguided, you have done the world a service by ridding it of the evil wizard. You resolve that in the future you will be more careful about whom you serve. Your adventure is over.
(And so Sir Puppykicker resolved to only kick puppies in the name of Good. In a few hours, I'll post up my personal thoughts on the Let's Play and the book in general, and answer any questions you may have.)
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
1. That one battlefield we consistently chose to hightail out of - what'd have happened if we'd stuck around?
2. Will o wisp - instakill or not?
3. How are the other places in town?
4. Dwarf - what are the benefits of saving him (I assume it's possible with Bless)?
Excellent book, btw.
2. Will o wisp - instakill or not?
3. How are the other places in town?
4. Dwarf - what are the benefits of saving him (I assume it's possible with Bless)?
Excellent book, btw.
Last edited by Starmaker on Sun Jun 02, 2013 11:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Darth Rabbitt
- Overlord
- Posts: 8870
- Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:31 pm
- Location: In "In The Trenches," mostly.
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1. You'd find the Golden Magnet Amulet on a dead body.
2. No, it offers a LUCK test or lose 2 STAMINA, and even that only after a chance to turn back. This book is fairly lenient on the insta-kills.
3. The Black Bear Inn makes you lose 1 STAMINA and possibly 2 SKILL; Tancred's Flying Horse Inn restores as much STAMINA as the Bent Spear, but a Thief takes 1 Spell or Backpack Item from you,
4. The Dwarf has died and cannot be saved, which actually pisses me off since it's very unlikely to be able to Bless him anyways. Bless' only real use is to heal the Unicorn. Friendship is an awesome spell but the other Good Spells are all kind of crappy.
I am also quite fond of this book, even with the usual FF helping of bullshit.
As Frank pointed out, there are very few ways to actually successfully get some of the Masters' amulets; the Master of Spiders is easiest (since he goes down to swords like a bitch, and you are given a pretty obvious warning to kill him, although chatting him up is an insta-kill) and the Master of Frogs is the hardest (to get his amulet you need to chat him up, pass a LUCK test, and then cast an Illusion spell.) The Master of Gardens is actually fairly easy compared to the Master of Frogs, or even the Mistress of Birds; we just took the only option that wouldn't get us his Amulet, although there's no way to avoid a fairly nasty SKILL penalty he casts on you.
The other bad thing is US Steve's flora of Scorpion Swamp; Fear Flowers are pretty bad, and the Sword Trees are a crime against god and man.
That being said, that is much better than most books in the series in terms of bullshit puzzles and encounters; often it is impossible to succeed if you miss one slight detail.
(As an aside, the co-creators are worst at the bullshit, actually; I consider them the worst FF authors whose books I've read, even if they started the series. Livingstone is better than UK Steve Jackson though; he puts a bit more thought into things, doesn't do the stupid numbered section puzzles, and isn't nearly as smug if you guess wrong. Citadel of Chaos is actually UK Steve Jackson's easiest and best book, and you saw the bullshit number puzzle in that.)
For the most part, instead of making things needlessly difficult (although there are certainly some hard parts) the book offers replay value through the three different quests; in general, the Neutral quest is Easy Mode (even with the worst spell selection, the mission is very simple) Good is Normal Mode (the journey is fairly long, but most people are friendly to you,) and Evil is Hard Mode (the Masters can be a pain in the ass to defeat, and pretty much everyone will be unfriendly if not hostile if they realize your true intentions.)
On that note, I really like that you can serve Evil in this book; the only other book where you play a straight-up bad guy is in Seas of Blood, where you are one of the two nastiest pirates to ever sail the seven seas (Captain Bloodaxe can go suck it.)
The magic system is fun, and much fairer than the one in Citadel of Chaos, where you both have to hope for good rolls and good selections at the beginning.
Also, there is an NPC named Poomchukker. Poomchukker.
I give this book 9 Poomchukkers out of 10 for trying a very different experience than most FF books, and coming out very well, despite having many of the flaws that all these books suffer to an extent. US Steve Jackson is one of the better authors in this series; all of his books are good, if not great.
Next up, since it gathered almost as many votes as this book, is Portal of Evil, which I will probably start tomorrow night.
2. No, it offers a LUCK test or lose 2 STAMINA, and even that only after a chance to turn back. This book is fairly lenient on the insta-kills.
3. The Black Bear Inn makes you lose 1 STAMINA and possibly 2 SKILL; Tancred's Flying Horse Inn restores as much STAMINA as the Bent Spear, but a Thief takes 1 Spell or Backpack Item from you,
4. The Dwarf has died and cannot be saved, which actually pisses me off since it's very unlikely to be able to Bless him anyways. Bless' only real use is to heal the Unicorn. Friendship is an awesome spell but the other Good Spells are all kind of crappy.
I am also quite fond of this book, even with the usual FF helping of bullshit.
As Frank pointed out, there are very few ways to actually successfully get some of the Masters' amulets; the Master of Spiders is easiest (since he goes down to swords like a bitch, and you are given a pretty obvious warning to kill him, although chatting him up is an insta-kill) and the Master of Frogs is the hardest (to get his amulet you need to chat him up, pass a LUCK test, and then cast an Illusion spell.) The Master of Gardens is actually fairly easy compared to the Master of Frogs, or even the Mistress of Birds; we just took the only option that wouldn't get us his Amulet, although there's no way to avoid a fairly nasty SKILL penalty he casts on you.
The other bad thing is US Steve's flora of Scorpion Swamp; Fear Flowers are pretty bad, and the Sword Trees are a crime against god and man.
That being said, that is much better than most books in the series in terms of bullshit puzzles and encounters; often it is impossible to succeed if you miss one slight detail.
(As an aside, the co-creators are worst at the bullshit, actually; I consider them the worst FF authors whose books I've read, even if they started the series. Livingstone is better than UK Steve Jackson though; he puts a bit more thought into things, doesn't do the stupid numbered section puzzles, and isn't nearly as smug if you guess wrong. Citadel of Chaos is actually UK Steve Jackson's easiest and best book, and you saw the bullshit number puzzle in that.)
For the most part, instead of making things needlessly difficult (although there are certainly some hard parts) the book offers replay value through the three different quests; in general, the Neutral quest is Easy Mode (even with the worst spell selection, the mission is very simple) Good is Normal Mode (the journey is fairly long, but most people are friendly to you,) and Evil is Hard Mode (the Masters can be a pain in the ass to defeat, and pretty much everyone will be unfriendly if not hostile if they realize your true intentions.)
On that note, I really like that you can serve Evil in this book; the only other book where you play a straight-up bad guy is in Seas of Blood, where you are one of the two nastiest pirates to ever sail the seven seas (Captain Bloodaxe can go suck it.)
The magic system is fun, and much fairer than the one in Citadel of Chaos, where you both have to hope for good rolls and good selections at the beginning.
Also, there is an NPC named Poomchukker. Poomchukker.
I give this book 9 Poomchukkers out of 10 for trying a very different experience than most FF books, and coming out very well, despite having many of the flaws that all these books suffer to an extent. US Steve Jackson is one of the better authors in this series; all of his books are good, if not great.
Next up, since it gathered almost as many votes as this book, is Portal of Evil, which I will probably start tomorrow night.
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).