It's Personal...

Amethyst_Butterfly · Post by **Amethyst_Butterfly** » Thu May 23, 2013 11:32 pm

Prak_Anima wrote:I'm basically of the opinion that a movie in 3D damn well better be doing gimmicky stuff like having shit fly at you from the screen because as an artist, I have absolutely no need to pay $3-5 dollars more for just added depth. My eyes do that for me just fine.

I can't watch 3d =( Instant migraine. I agree though; if it is gonna be in 3d, shit should be flying at you and you should feel very much "inside" the movie.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Fri May 24, 2013 9:33 am

The new Star Trek was the First Movie where i personally experiences Headache and Nausea . . No other 3D did that to me.
But other people who get these all the time in every other 3D told me there were no such problems with this one . .

Furthermore, it seems i am just too much of a neckbeard to enjoy stuff i know the history of being remade . .

How could they do that to the Mandarin damn it? x.x

Artless · Post by **Artless** » Sat May 25, 2013 8:48 am

I feel immensely proud of being a part of these, so please excuse the self-aggrandizement.

I'm gonna be in two new shows with the Light Grey Art Lab. The first, called Station Zero, has the participants tasked with re-imagining pulp sci-fi novel covers. The book I got was Superbaby, which, put simply, was about how the perfect human is autistic and is enormously into baseball for whatever reason. Still working on ideas for the piece, but it's been fun so far regardless.

The second show, the one I was really, really hoping to be a part of, is called Role Models and will apparently end up as a card game once the show is done. I get to do one of the mage cards, for whatever ends up with the "evil" theme. I have a couple ideas for what I'm gonna do, some of them inspired by conversations from here. If anyone is interested I'll provide updates once I've made some progress on it.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Sat May 25, 2013 9:46 pm

Stahlseele wrote:How could they do that to the Mandarin damn it? x.x

Personally, I thought it was a clever take on the character, as well as also being rather funny.

Finder · Post by **Finder** » Sun May 26, 2013 1:10 am

I thought the Mandarin (not what they did with the pre-existing character, per se, but what he did for the movie) was amazing. I went from being disappointed that they were pulling a Red-Dawn-like anti-Asian propaganda move to being completely incredulous because the terrorist was a white guy all along. As it should be! We've suffered a lot of domestic terrorism recently. It added weight to the story.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Wed May 29, 2013 7:46 am

I went to Goodwill looking for a kid's chair yesterday, and found my favorite board game instead: Clue Master Detective. I bought it, and Ess and I have been working on a two player variant. The first playtest was actually not so bad.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Sat Jun 01, 2013 5:09 pm

With today's student loan payment, my loan in now below $1,500!

The end is in sight! it's downhill from here!

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Sat Jun 01, 2013 7:24 pm

Ganbatte!

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 2:11 pm

I am super fucking geeked. We're looking to move back to the town where we grew up. We've already had an offer on a house accepted and will close on the house soon.

We put our house on the market last Friday and have had lots of showings. I went to work yesterday expecting two showings after work. During that time, it turned into five showings. We just got an offer on the house, but I've yet to read the details.

So, I'm super pleased that things are moving quickly (anecdotal evidence has said this is the case for everyone I know), but I can't help but wonder if we've under priced the house...

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Tue Jun 04, 2013 8:27 pm

Did you ask what you would be willing to pay for it?

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Jun 05, 2013 11:54 am

Stahlseele wrote:Did you ask what you would be willing to pay for it?

No, but we got a second offer in on the same day, so now they each have 24 hours to give us their best offer and we take the higher of the two. Both of the originals were pretty much identical, and at the bottom of what we'd be willing to accept.

Fucking sweet.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 2:02 pm

One of the offers came in a couple thousand above the asking price. I'm quite happy with that. Now, I have to wait until we close on the house we're buying to lose all of my free time. We have an extensive amount of work to do on it, but it's totally worth it, given the deal we got on it.

Once we're done with all of the work, it will be nice to move in and be closer to all of our family and friends. Also, this likely means more D&D time!

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:57 am

Whee!! Sallie Mae is trying to get me to pay back two student loans that I didn't take out. Awesome!

PoliteNewb · Post by **PoliteNewb** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:23 am

After 12 years of relatively decent marriage, my wife and I are getting a divorce. It's pretty amicable; we've decided to do it now while we're still friends, rather than try to stick it out and end up resenting each other and getting divorced in 5-10 years.

We're mostly concerned about the kids; we want to make sure they know we still love them, even if we don't really love each other anymore.

Anyone who's been through a divorce or had parents that got divorced, any advice would be welcome (can't promise I'll take it, but I'd like to hear it).

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:46 am

<sigh> Okay, there is really only one rule for a divorce: don't argue over the split of common property. This doesn't have to mean "give your wife whatever she wants," though that's the simplest option, but just honestly list up all the assets and try to agree on a division. If you piss about with who gets what and drag it out in court, only the lawyers win and everybody turns into an asshole.

People worry about the kids. That's good of them. The thing is, though, the kids are probably going to be fine. Some take it worse than others, but unless they're really acting out they'll get over it. Be honest with them, hang out with them, do your best for child support. I don't know what your family situation is, but try to keep on good terms with the ex-inlaws and extended family as well as permissible. Make sure the kids see their grandparents or whatever on both sides, if that's a thing for your clan.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 4:22 am

Make sure your kids know that the divorce isn't their fault. Sometimes they surprise you and think that because they argue too much, or spill jam, or do badly in school (or whatever), that that's the reason their parents aren't getting a long.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 5:03 am

Realize that you are going to hate each other. Do everything you can to put that off as long as possible.

Bottom line, there is someone who is raising your kids who isn't you, and doesn't answer to you when you disagree. Even if you didn't have the past love baggage, that would still be the set up for inevitable conflicts. Prepare yourself for that, and deal with it accordingly.

PoliteNewb · Post by **PoliteNewb** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 6:45 am

AH: Thanks for the advice, and (assuming it's coming from experience) I'm glad to hear that I might be worrying more than I need to about the kids. Division of property shouldn't be a big deal; we've already started discussing it, and I'm pretty sure (say, 90%) that we can reach an agreement pretty easily. We each get a car, she wants me to keep the house (which is in my name anyway), and we honestly don't own all that much that's worth anything. I'll pay child support (ironically, I work for child support); we're going to aim for shared custody.

Maj: Thanks, I'll make certain we do that...I hadn't considered it (and hopefully they won't blame themselves), but now I'll go out of my way to prevent it.

Kaelik: Thanks for reminding me why I have you on ignore. Next time I won't bother clicking through.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 6:50 am

PoliteNewb wrote:Kaelik: Thanks for reminding me why I have you on ignore. Next time I won't bother clicking through.

Be sure to remember that in ten years. After all, you definitely have far more experience in this matter than me, hence asking people for advice.

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 4:18 pm

PoliteNewb wrote:
Kaelik: Thanks for reminding me why I have you on ignore. Next time I won't bother clicking through.

Despite Kaelik's rude and abrupt way of saying it, what he says does have a ring of truth to it.

I don't at all dispute that you and your ex-partner can maintain an amicable relationship for the rest of your life. But there will be times that you might differ on how to raise your kids. Having them in two different homes makes it harder to reconcile these differences.

It might not be as harsh as Kaelik's view but you can't feel the same emotions all the time. I can just think of some of my past relationships and how we left as friends or came back together as friends but there are times when I've gotten bitter about shit that happened in the past. A really trite (probably untrue) way of describing it is that it's part of human nature.

sabs · Post by **sabs** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 5:24 pm

I hate to break it to you.. but Kaelik has a point. Co-parenting is even harder, and it sucks. My ex-wife decided she didn't like my living arragements, and tried to not allow the kids to visit with me. It sucks. If you're not the one who has custody m-f you're going to end up with issues with parenting.

Also, just because you are able to split amiably does not mean it's going to stay that way. There's going to be a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out why it all fell apart. It really depends on how sane and stable your ex-wife is, and how sane and stable any new person in her life ends up being.

My ex-wife is of dubious emotional stability.. so it's been rough.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 5:48 pm

Oh right, thanks sabs for pointing that out.

Even if you could be okay with disagreements with your ex, because she is at least their mother, if she ever ends up with a new person who also takes part in raising, you are going to be even less accepting of that person raising your kids. So good luck when you disagree with their step father.

shau · Post by **shau** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 7:23 pm

My parents split when I was a teenager. I don't think they whole "stay together for the kids thing is good advice" but it is difficult. One thing: If your relationship ever stops being amicable, its not acceptable to talk shit about your ex in front of your kids. I am not saying you will, but my parents did, and it was damaging.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 9:07 pm

My parents went through a version of what Kaelik is describing and while I think I think hate is a really strong word I do think that realistically one of you will almost certainly end up feeling like a backseat driver when it comes to parenting the kids and how you handle subsequent resentment will determine a lot. Hell, that often happens even with couples that remain married.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 10:05 pm

Whipstitch wrote:Hell, that often happens even with couples that remain married.

Yes.

What Ess and I have learned from our experience with Giovanni is that consistency and follow through are vital - regardless of whether you're living together or not. We need to be on as close to the same page as possible when it comes to discipline and goals for our child, and we need to make sure we follow through on what we say we're going to do - be it consequences or promises.

I've seen divorced couples who got along well and didn't hate each other - but they understood that they weren't ever going to be able to get the other person entirely out of their life because of their kids. They were still going to have disagreements and have to work through those disagreements. Communication is vital.