Jesus H. Christ, that was the best shadpost ever! Thanks for quoting that so I'd find it. I'm stowing this away for safe keeping.Archmage wrote:People who don't read shadzar posts are missing comedy gold.shadzar wrote:no, you failed your relevancy check. i choose shit for myself. i dont take gifts from people and would highly be pissed someone giving me a gift. there are people out there that just dont like gifts. learn this, and never try using that analogy again as a global constant.
3d6 in order....
Moderator: Moderators
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RobbyPants
- King
- Posts: 5201
- Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:11 pm
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infected slut princess
- Knight-Baron
- Posts: 790
- Joined: Tue Jun 14, 2011 2:44 am
- Location: 3rd Avenue
i love Shadzar, he is hilarious.
GREATEST HITS:
I desperately want to play in one of his games.
GREATEST HITS:
shadzar wrote:you are oblivious of the real world. you have to be some rich pampered snob living in the shadow of reality in new york wandering around wall street or some shit, cause you don't know shit about reality.
shadzar wrote: i guess your posh mansion has rooms just for D&D and everyone you know has the same at your home or you actually have places that allow such things outside of a single comic store that has ONE table for it for people to use IF the CCG players arent already filling it.
fucking rich cock-suckers thinking they know everything. you are just yuppy trash. hope your diamond studded toilet paper from tiffanys doesnt mar your precious doesn't stink ass!
i guess your posh mansion has rooms just for D&D and everyone you know has the same at your home or you actually have places that allow such things outside of a single comic store that has ONE table for it for people to use IF the CCG players arent already filling it.
fucking rich cock-suckers thinking they know everything. you are just yuppy trash. hope your diamond studded toilet paper from tiffanys doesnt mar your precious doesn't stink ass!
shadzar wrote:believe in one hand and shit in the other and se which ones fills up[ quicker. it will be the one you are full of, shit.
Last edited by infected slut princess on Tue Sep 24, 2013 11:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Oh, then you are an idiot. Because infected slut princess has never posted anything worth reading at any time.
(SIWDCc) 9, 15, 9, 6, 10, 13.
Now, this must be 2nd edition without proficiencies or most of the other actual rules, because Shadzar, so that's ...
9 Str (+0/+0, 35lb light enc, 90lb press, 5/20 open door, 1% bend bars).
15 Int (4 languages, learn up to 11 spells per level, max 7th level spells, 65% to learn).
9 Wis (+0).
6 Dex (+1 AC and -1 Ref saves (which is a penalty in both cases)).
10 Con (70% System Shock, 75% Resurrection Survival).
13 Cha (up to 5 Henchmen, +1 Reactions).
Not bad, Magic-User obviously, and can't specialise with those stats. Let's try Sleep (49, yep) and I don't care about the rest because I have Sleep.
Hit points .... 4! HUZZAH! Now all I need is to kill 170 Orcs and I'll be 2nd level. Yay. Who else is playing, because someone has to play the fucking Cleric don't forget.
Now, this must be 2nd edition without proficiencies or most of the other actual rules, because Shadzar, so that's ...
9 Str (+0/+0, 35lb light enc, 90lb press, 5/20 open door, 1% bend bars).
15 Int (4 languages, learn up to 11 spells per level, max 7th level spells, 65% to learn).
9 Wis (+0).
6 Dex (+1 AC and -1 Ref saves (which is a penalty in both cases)).
10 Con (70% System Shock, 75% Resurrection Survival).
13 Cha (up to 5 Henchmen, +1 Reactions).
Not bad, Magic-User obviously, and can't specialise with those stats. Let's try Sleep (49, yep) and I don't care about the rest because I have Sleep.
Hit points .... 4! HUZZAH! Now all I need is to kill 170 Orcs and I'll be 2nd level. Yay. Who else is playing, because someone has to play the fucking Cleric don't forget.
PC, SJW, anti-fascist, not being a dick, or working on it, he/him.
Is your wizard named Morpheus?
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
--The horror of Mario
Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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OgreBattle
- King
- Posts: 6820
- Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2011 9:33 am
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rasmuswagner
- Knight-Baron
- Posts: 705
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 9:37 am
- Location: Danmark
5 14 14 8 8 4.
Well shit. I'm a Halfling Thief. Oh wait, this is AD&D, I need 7 Strength to be a fucking Halfling. Oh well, I can be a half-elf, that's still better than being human.
Str 5: -2 to hit, -1 to damage, weight allowance 10, max press 25, open doors 3.
Dex 14: From 7 to 14 is "no modifiers"
Con 14: 88% system shock, 92% ressurection survival.
Int 8: I speak Common, and that's it.
Wis 8: Nothing to see here.
Cha 4: Maximum 1 henchman, at -5 Loyalty. -4 reaction.
I have 3 hit points. And 40 gold.
So, what can I do?
Pick Pockets 25%, Open Locks 10%, Find/Remove Traps 35%, Move Silently 25%, Hide in Shadows 25%, Detect Noise 15%, Climb Walls 60%, Read Languages 0%. Backstab for double damage, oh, and I speak Thieves' Cant as well. Go me.
Thieves picks cost 30 gold, leather armor is too expensive and too heavy for me. I can use a sling, so I'll buy that. And now that I'm not wearing armor, I have to recalculate my Thief abilities.
Well shit. I'm a Halfling Thief. Oh wait, this is AD&D, I need 7 Strength to be a fucking Halfling. Oh well, I can be a half-elf, that's still better than being human.
Str 5: -2 to hit, -1 to damage, weight allowance 10, max press 25, open doors 3.
Dex 14: From 7 to 14 is "no modifiers"
Con 14: 88% system shock, 92% ressurection survival.
Int 8: I speak Common, and that's it.
Wis 8: Nothing to see here.
Cha 4: Maximum 1 henchman, at -5 Loyalty. -4 reaction.
I have 3 hit points. And 40 gold.
So, what can I do?
Pick Pockets 25%, Open Locks 10%, Find/Remove Traps 35%, Move Silently 25%, Hide in Shadows 25%, Detect Noise 15%, Climb Walls 60%, Read Languages 0%. Backstab for double damage, oh, and I speak Thieves' Cant as well. Go me.
Thieves picks cost 30 gold, leather armor is too expensive and too heavy for me. I can use a sling, so I'll buy that. And now that I'm not wearing armor, I have to recalculate my Thief abilities.
Every time you play in a "low magic world" with D&D rules (or derivates), a unicorn steps on a kitten and an orphan drops his ice cream cone.
Str: 12
Dex: 11
Con: 9
Int: 6
Wis: 6
Cha: 6
Guess I'll be the fighter.
Dex: 11
Con: 9
Int: 6
Wis: 6
Cha: 6
Guess I'll be the fighter.
Gary Gygax wrote:The player’s path to role-playing mastery begins with a thorough understanding of the rules of the game
Bigode wrote:I wouldn't normally make that blanket of a suggestion, but you seem to deserve it: scroll through the entire forum, read anything that looks interesting in term of design experience, then come back.
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PoliteNewb
- Duke
- Posts: 1053
- Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:23 am
- Location: Alaska
- Contact:
Since we're going old-school, I'm using old school order.
Str 8
Int 8
Wis 12
Dex 7
Con 7
Cha 13
And human cleric it is. With only a 5% chance of failing to cast my spells!
But no other penalties, if you can believe that.
I rolled 90 gp; I probably can't even afford chainmail, and for some reason scale (worse) is more expensive in 2E, so I guess it's studded leather and shield for me.
AC 6, HP 2, Cure Light Wounds
Str 8
Int 8
Wis 12
Dex 7
Con 7
Cha 13
And human cleric it is. With only a 5% chance of failing to cast my spells!
But no other penalties, if you can believe that.
I rolled 90 gp; I probably can't even afford chainmail, and for some reason scale (worse) is more expensive in 2E, so I guess it's studded leather and shield for me.
AC 6, HP 2, Cure Light Wounds
I am judging the philosophies and decisions you have presented in this thread. The ones I have seen look bad, and also appear to be the fruit of a poisonous tree that has produced only madness and will continue to produce only madness.
--AngelFromAnotherPin
believe in one hand and shit in the other and see which ones fills up quicker. it will be the one you are full of, shit.
--Shadzar
--AngelFromAnotherPin
believe in one hand and shit in the other and see which ones fills up quicker. it will be the one you are full of, shit.
--Shadzar
How do you guys roll your stats? I don't have physical dice on hand, so I'm using random.org's resources.
Str 10 (2/20 Open Door, 2% Bend Bars)
Int 10 (2 lang, up to 7 spells per level, max 5th level spells, 45% learn)
Wis 7 (Magic Defense Adj -1)
Dex 8 ()
Con 8 (System Shock 60%, Resurrection Survival 65%)
Cha 11 (up to 4 Henchmen)
I can go fighter or magic-user with those stats, so screw it; I'm an elf fighter/mage with...4 HP!
Also have 75gp.
Str 10 (2/20 Open Door, 2% Bend Bars)
Int 10 (2 lang, up to 7 spells per level, max 5th level spells, 45% learn)
Wis 7 (Magic Defense Adj -1)
Dex 8 ()
Con 8 (System Shock 60%, Resurrection Survival 65%)
Cha 11 (up to 4 Henchmen)
I can go fighter or magic-user with those stats, so screw it; I'm an elf fighter/mage with...4 HP!
Also have 75gp.
Come see Sprockets & Serials
How do you confuse a barbarian?
Put a greatsword a maul and a greataxe in a room and ask them to take their pick
How do you confuse a barbarian?
Put a greatsword a maul and a greataxe in a room and ask them to take their pick
EXPLOSIVE RUNES!
For the hilarity...
Str: 14
Int: 11
Wis: 13
Dex: 7
Con: 14
Cha: 9
A frankly good array for 3d6, actually. Almost a full point above average.
As usual, however, fighter or cleric are my only real choices for classes.
But despite it being both above average and fairly high variance, this array doesn't actually give me any really meaningful modifiers. Sure, I'm marginally better at kicking doors in and bending bars, but I don't get a bonus to attack or damage, I don't get bonus HP, I don't have a defensive penalty, I've got the standard array of followers...
I can be a dwarf, so let's go with that. I'll have to live with my terrible 8 charisma, in exchange for bonus HP.
So I'll be the fighter-cleric backup. With my extra bonus spell, and my amazingly HP luck ((9+1)+(8+1))/2 = 9 HP and 100GP, I'll kick ass with my chain mail, shield, and chosen weapon. I've got two spells, plus technically a "granted power" of some sort (that's left to the imagination, although I'd really like that +2 to attack and damage the PHB suggests for a follower of a war deity, plus it'd let me wield a longsword for Massive Damage Against Large Enemies.)
But let's have another go:
Str: 9
Int: 13
Wis: 8
Dex: 6
Con: 6
Cha: 15
... lol.
Well, that makes things simpler. There's no race that gives a plus to wisdom, so I can only be a terrible fighter or wizard. No way to bump up charisma to 16 either so I would only be a generalist wizard. Plus, of course, my scores are too poor to let me be a race with stats adjustments anyway.
So, I can be a fighter with no bonus to attacks, but with penalties to AC and to HP, or a wizard with a 55% chance of learning spells. Well, a first level wizard dies if he gets in melee, so let's go with that.
Woah. Max HP (i.e. 3). This is AD&D, so my AC 11, HP 3 wizard is ready to stab with his dagger. Wait, he gets to pick spells. Our DM isn't a dick, so he lets me pick what I want.
So, in order of desirability... let's try:
Sleep (roll to learn: 82, nope)
Color Spray (87 - nope)
err... Wall of Fog? (77- nope)
Phantasmal Force? (33 - YEAH! a SPELL!)
Grease? (26 Yeah!)
Armor ?(31 - wow, three in a row. Let's go for a fourth one, then we'll stop and keep the remaining slots open to retry for actually useful spell when we're higher level)
Magic Missile (52 - Yeah!)
So, I've got one magic missile, an AC of 11, and 3HP. Actually, let's take one last spell that will be really useful for that character.
Taunt... 51! Woot, I can ENSURE I die in the first battle, regardless of the DM!
Jeez, this is absurd. The amazing thing is that this shitty character is about as far below the average as my awesome fighter-cleric is (average 9.5) - it's really the "in Order" thing that kills the character. If I could move the scores around, I could at least have a either a survivable fighter, an OK cleric, or a specialist mage with a reasonable chance of picking up a meaningful spell. Heck - having the ability to put my 15 in Dex and any other score other than 6 in Con lets me be an Elf that doesn't have an HP penalty, giving me a respectable wizard HP and AC and allowing me to be either an Alteration or Illusion specialist.
Str: 14
Int: 11
Wis: 13
Dex: 7
Con: 14
Cha: 9
A frankly good array for 3d6, actually. Almost a full point above average.
As usual, however, fighter or cleric are my only real choices for classes.
But despite it being both above average and fairly high variance, this array doesn't actually give me any really meaningful modifiers. Sure, I'm marginally better at kicking doors in and bending bars, but I don't get a bonus to attack or damage, I don't get bonus HP, I don't have a defensive penalty, I've got the standard array of followers...
I can be a dwarf, so let's go with that. I'll have to live with my terrible 8 charisma, in exchange for bonus HP.
So I'll be the fighter-cleric backup. With my extra bonus spell, and my amazingly HP luck ((9+1)+(8+1))/2 = 9 HP and 100GP, I'll kick ass with my chain mail, shield, and chosen weapon. I've got two spells, plus technically a "granted power" of some sort (that's left to the imagination, although I'd really like that +2 to attack and damage the PHB suggests for a follower of a war deity, plus it'd let me wield a longsword for Massive Damage Against Large Enemies.)
But let's have another go:
Str: 9
Int: 13
Wis: 8
Dex: 6
Con: 6
Cha: 15
... lol.
Well, that makes things simpler. There's no race that gives a plus to wisdom, so I can only be a terrible fighter or wizard. No way to bump up charisma to 16 either so I would only be a generalist wizard. Plus, of course, my scores are too poor to let me be a race with stats adjustments anyway.
So, I can be a fighter with no bonus to attacks, but with penalties to AC and to HP, or a wizard with a 55% chance of learning spells. Well, a first level wizard dies if he gets in melee, so let's go with that.
Woah. Max HP (i.e. 3). This is AD&D, so my AC 11, HP 3 wizard is ready to stab with his dagger. Wait, he gets to pick spells. Our DM isn't a dick, so he lets me pick what I want.
So, in order of desirability... let's try:
Sleep (roll to learn: 82, nope)
Color Spray (87 - nope)
err... Wall of Fog? (77- nope)
Phantasmal Force? (33 - YEAH! a SPELL!)
Grease? (26 Yeah!)
Armor ?(31 - wow, three in a row. Let's go for a fourth one, then we'll stop and keep the remaining slots open to retry for actually useful spell when we're higher level)
Magic Missile (52 - Yeah!)
So, I've got one magic missile, an AC of 11, and 3HP. Actually, let's take one last spell that will be really useful for that character.
Taunt... 51! Woot, I can ENSURE I die in the first battle, regardless of the DM!
Jeez, this is absurd. The amazing thing is that this shitty character is about as far below the average as my awesome fighter-cleric is (average 9.5) - it's really the "in Order" thing that kills the character. If I could move the scores around, I could at least have a either a survivable fighter, an OK cleric, or a specialist mage with a reasonable chance of picking up a meaningful spell. Heck - having the ability to put my 15 in Dex and any other score other than 6 in Con lets me be an Elf that doesn't have an HP penalty, giving me a respectable wizard HP and AC and allowing me to be either an Alteration or Illusion specialist.
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Nebuchadnezzar
- Knight-Baron
- Posts: 723
- Joined: Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:23 am
You munchkin! You're what is wrong with the hobby these days!MisterDee wrote:Wait, he gets to pick spells. Our DM isn't a dick, so he lets me pick what I want.
Gary Gygax wrote:The player’s path to role-playing mastery begins with a thorough understanding of the rules of the game
Bigode wrote:I wouldn't normally make that blanket of a suggestion, but you seem to deserve it: scroll through the entire forum, read anything that looks interesting in term of design experience, then come back.
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Avoraciopoctules
- Overlord
- Posts: 8624
- Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:48 pm
- Location: Oakland, CA
12/13/7/12/14/9
So I guess I make a Cleric then? Average man the Averager, since he gets no fucking modifiers except for spellcasting.
Alternatively, I invoke the policy that Gygax himself specifically says he uses, and I get:
18/18/18/18/18/18.
So I guess I make a Cleric then? Average man the Averager, since he gets no fucking modifiers except for spellcasting.
Alternatively, I invoke the policy that Gygax himself specifically says he uses, and I get:
18/18/18/18/18/18.
The U.S. isn't a democracy and if you think it is, you are a rube.DSMatticus wrote:Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?
That's libertarians for you - anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.
@PoliteNewb: Command might be better. Very few of us are going to survive a hit anyway, better to stick with the no-save-just-die options and hope to win initiative.
@MisterDee: the crap Wizard has good Cha, so you can try for Charm Person and get a huge retinue of Henchmen for no cost before you go into the first dungeon, and Phantasmal Force is still basically a huge death effect with no level limit.
@Kaelik: There's heaps of modifiers, only Dexterity and Wisdom have dead-space, and not even then if you're a Rogue or Priest respectively. No standard combat modifiers, true, unless the DM fancies asking for stat checks for things.
And yes, on those tables EGG was rolling buckets of dice and still throwing out anything with worse than two 15+ stats and no penalties. I have no idea how 2nd edition went to 3d6 in order as the default in the PHB, unless it's so any sane DM would let you have better?
Anyway, are we running this or what, Shadzar? Because once I cast Sleep, that's the only mass no-save-just-die spell in the party gone, and someone could get hurt, so we'd have to go home. Might make two or three fights a day with all the Command spells flying. Shame there's no Druid, because they can take out three fights no-save-just-die all on their own.
@MisterDee: the crap Wizard has good Cha, so you can try for Charm Person and get a huge retinue of Henchmen for no cost before you go into the first dungeon, and Phantasmal Force is still basically a huge death effect with no level limit.
@Kaelik: There's heaps of modifiers, only Dexterity and Wisdom have dead-space, and not even then if you're a Rogue or Priest respectively. No standard combat modifiers, true, unless the DM fancies asking for stat checks for things.
And yes, on those tables EGG was rolling buckets of dice and still throwing out anything with worse than two 15+ stats and no penalties. I have no idea how 2nd edition went to 3d6 in order as the default in the PHB, unless it's so any sane DM would let you have better?
Anyway, are we running this or what, Shadzar? Because once I cast Sleep, that's the only mass no-save-just-die spell in the party gone, and someone could get hurt, so we'd have to go home. Might make two or three fights a day with all the Command spells flying. Shame there's no Druid, because they can take out three fights no-save-just-die all on their own.
PC, SJW, anti-fascist, not being a dick, or working on it, he/him.
I actually thought about that, but henchmen in 2nd ed. have to be lower level than the character.
I also thought about hirelings, but I rolled minimum gold for that wizard. Still, that's probably enough to outfit a pair of guards with crappy armor and decent weapons, which might be enough to get me through to enough treasure to hire more guards.
(and I just tried to get charm person and failed. Admittedly, that should have been my pick instead of magic missile, however by then I wasn't caring all that much.)
I also thought about hirelings, but I rolled minimum gold for that wizard. Still, that's probably enough to outfit a pair of guards with crappy armor and decent weapons, which might be enough to get me through to enough treasure to hire more guards.
(and I just tried to get charm person and failed. Admittedly, that should have been my pick instead of magic missile, however by then I wasn't caring all that much.)
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RobbyPants
- King
- Posts: 5201
- Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 6:11 pm
Since everyone else is doing it:
Str: 12
Dex: 3
Con: 14
Int: 13
Wis: 9
Cha: 9
Holy shit! I literally got a 3 without cheating! I've never seen a natural 3 rolled before. I honestly don't even remember what a 3 in your Dex does to you in 2E. I'm guessing somewhere around -3 or 4 AC, and some similar penalties to reaction adjustment and missile attacks.
That being said, it looks like my options are either a lack-luster fighter (who will get hit all the time, and sadly barely misses out on bonus HP from Con), or an okay clumsy wizard. Given the low Wis and Cha to boot, I'd run with a socially awkward, exceptionally clumsy wizard.
I imagine I'd have to cast Armor just to get his AC back down to 10 (or is it capped at 10, even despite the shitty Dex?).
Str: 12
Dex: 3
Con: 14
Int: 13
Wis: 9
Cha: 9
Holy shit! I literally got a 3 without cheating! I've never seen a natural 3 rolled before. I honestly don't even remember what a 3 in your Dex does to you in 2E. I'm guessing somewhere around -3 or 4 AC, and some similar penalties to reaction adjustment and missile attacks.
That being said, it looks like my options are either a lack-luster fighter (who will get hit all the time, and sadly barely misses out on bonus HP from Con), or an okay clumsy wizard. Given the low Wis and Cha to boot, I'd run with a socially awkward, exceptionally clumsy wizard.
I imagine I'd have to cast Armor just to get his AC back down to 10 (or is it capped at 10, even despite the shitty Dex?).
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deaddmwalking
- Prince
- Posts: 3637
- Joined: Mon May 21, 2012 11:33 am
I thought I'd try to roll to see if I become awesome and make you all wish you could have a character as awesome as mine, but what do you know, more or less average:
STR 13, DEX 12, CON 11, INT 15, WIS 7, CHA 7
STR 13, DEX 12, CON 11, INT 15, WIS 7, CHA 7
So
Str 8
Dex 10
Con 11
Int 8
Wis 16
Cha 10
Healbot cleric ho!
Str 8
Dex 10
Con 11
Int 8
Wis 16
Cha 10
Healbot cleric ho!
Keys to the Contract: A crossover between Puella Magi Madoka Magica and Kingdom Hearts.
RadiantPhoenix wrote:The D&D wizard is a work of fiction that has a completely unrealistic expectation of "uses a book".TheFlatline wrote:Legolas/Robin Hood are myths that have completely unrealistic expectation of "uses a bow".
hyzmarca wrote:Well, Mario Mario comes from a blue collar background. He was a carpenter first, working at a construction site. Then a plumber. Then a demolitionist. Also, I'm not sure how strict Mushroom Kingdom's medical licensing requirements are. I don't think his MD is valid in New York.
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Ancient History
- Serious Badass
- Posts: 12708
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:57 pm
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Whipstitch
- Prince
- Posts: 3660
- Joined: Fri Apr 29, 2011 10:23 pm
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Ancient History
- Serious Badass
- Posts: 12708
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:57 pm
A 3% system shock change that will never come up or a 10% Bend Bars that I will never use because there are other people who can do it better is not a real modifier and I don't care.tussock wrote:Kaelik: There's heaps of modifiers, only Dexterity and Wisdom have dead-space, and not even then if you're a Rogue or Priest respectively. No standard combat modifiers, true, unless the DM fancies asking for stat checks for things.
The U.S. isn't a democracy and if you think it is, you are a rube.DSMatticus wrote:Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?
That's libertarians for you - anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.