Let's Play The Gates of Death: Fighting Fantasy (Sch#12)

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Tue Mar 26, 2019 9:42 pm

You are in a guardroom, though there are no signs of any temple guards. There are three doors here: the door carved with weapons that leads to the Walkway of Evening, a second at the eastern end of the guardroom with a symbol of the moon on it, and another at the eastern end in the same wall as the one leading to the Walkway of Evening, carved to look like a giant book. The walls are decorated with murals of Lunara, goddess of night and the moon. She is shown standing in a moonlit orchard, among trees laden with silver apples. There are racks of spears and swords and golden breastplates near the walls, and a row of double-headed temple-guard axes is laid out on a table. There's a large fireplace with a stack of unlit logs in it. Is it your imagination or is there a faint purple glow coming from the chimney?

Take a weapon?
Go through the door with the moon symbol?
Take the door that looks like a book?
Take the door to the Walkway of Evening? (and pick where we want to go to from there)

SlyJohnny · Post by **SlyJohnny** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 3:29 am

Right, so here is where we learn that Lunara likes apples.

Loot weapons, then book door.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 4:28 am

As you go to pick up a weapon, a gout of purple smoke erupts from the fireplace and a creature starts to emerge. Because of the smoke you can't see it clearly yet, only enough to tell that it's nearly as tall as the room. It lumbers over to the table, blocking the way to the door that looks like a book. It picks up an axe. And then another...and another...and another.

The smoke clears and you see the creature clearly. Even though it has no head it is twice your height, with four arms, two facing forwards and two facing backwards, and in each hand it holds an axe. It is standing with what, in a normal creature, would be its back towards you and where its buttocks should be are two faces, one male and one female. They are both grinning.

Fight the creature?
Run through the door with the moon symbol?
Escape through the door that leads to the Walkway of Evening?
Throw a bottle of smoke-oil at its feet?

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 7:14 am

That creature is too embarrassing to be allowed to live. Kill it!

SGamerz · Post by **SGamerz** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 11:57 am

Fight.

Whiysper · Post by **Whiysper** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 12:01 pm

...That really sounds like a fun creature. Given our innuendo-laden history, how can we NOT attack a creature from behind with three orifices facing us!?!

CHAAARRRGGGEEE!!

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Wed Mar 27, 2019 7:10 pm

Colin decides to penetrate the bum:

'What have we here?' says the male face, its grin growing wider.

'Lunch,' says the female face.

'Looks too stringy to me,' says the first.

'You're too fussy. You're a really fussy eater.'

'At least I'm not ugly.'

'I am NOT ugly,' says the second.

'Have you seen yourself lately?' says the man. 'You've got a face like a bum...'

While they are arguing you have the chance to grab a temple guard's axe if you want to. Otherwise, choose another weapon from your list and make ready to fight the BUM-FACED MONSTER.

BUM-FACED MONSTER SKILL 8 STAMINA 12

Combat Log:

Since this isn't a demon I assume we use the axe, which we already have one of.
BFM 17, Colin 21. BFM is at 10.
BFM 13, Colin 15. BFM is at 8.
BFM 17, Colin 18. BFM is at 6.
BFM 18, Colin 19. BFM is at 4.
BFM 18, Colin 19. BFM is at 2.
BFM 10, Colin 20. BFM is dead.

You have defeated the Bum-Faced Monster. It dissolves into a puddle of purple liquid that quickly turns to smoke, leaving behind a cold sausage, a cookbook and a bottle of 'Nostalgia.'

Take what you want, and then, will you:

Go through the door with the moon symbol?
Take the door that looks like a book?
Take the door to the Walkway of Evening?

SlyJohnny · Post by **SlyJohnny** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 3:22 pm

Well, that was edifying. Book door.

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 4:15 pm

Yeah, try the book door, and forget such a monster ever exited in FF. "BUM-FACED MONSTER"...c'mon.

Whiysper · Post by **Whiysper** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 4:51 pm

I'm sort of assuming it's an in-joke? Seems totally daft, even by this series' standards, otherwise...

Am I missing the joke, or is it as odd and off-kilter as it feels?

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Thu Mar 28, 2019 10:25 pm

Honestly I'm glad you guys came across the Bum-Faced Monster. I don't think you'd have believed me if I told you that thing was in this book. I would have assumed it to be a joke. Assuming we take everything out of the bum before we enter the book door:

You are in the Great Library of Throff. Bookshelves, accessed by a framework of metal ladders and walkways, rise up and up and up, disappearing into the darkness above your head. Too many books to count. You didn't know there were this many in the world.

As well as the door that looks like a book, which leads to the guardroom, there is a smaller doorway painted to look like a scroll, with writing on it that you cannot understand.

Take a closer look at the books in the library?
Go through the scroll door?
Go through the book door?

Adventure Sheet
Colin Hunt
SKILL: 11/11
STAMINA: 9/18
LUCK: 5/11
Equipment: Traveling Clothes, Lucky Anchor Charm, Silver Ring, Bier Goggles
Vials of Smoke-Oil: 0
Gold Pieces: 18
Weapons: Lord Azzur's Khopesh (+1 Attack Strength, extra +1 attack/damage vs. demons), Temple Guard's Axe (+1 Attack Strength, +1 damage on doubles rolled in combat), Fire Iron (-1 Attack Strength)
Items: Fishhook, Jar of Healing Ointment (+4 STAMINA when used), Poison Antidote, Silver Trowel, Map of Trolltooth Pass, Flask of Firewater, Bronze-Colored Jewel, Cold Sausage, Cookbook
Compasses: Brass Compass, Silver Compass, Bronze Compass
Provisions: 2 meals (+4 STAMINA when eaten each), Dates (+3 STAMINA when eaten)
Keys: Icefinger Key
Magic Potions: 'Collywobbles', 'Dragon's Breath,' 2 bottles of 'Nostalgia' Perfume, 'Pretty as a Picture,' 'Thick as Thieves'
Magic Seeds: 3 Seeds of Mastery, Seed of Doubt, Seed of Treachery, Seed of Destruction, Seed of Change
Running Total of Bad Puns: 2
Bum-Faced Monster: Bum-Faced Monster.

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 3:39 am

Check out the books.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 5:14 am

You go over to the nearest shelf and take a book out. It is very old and bound in worn green leather with lettering inlaid in gold. It has a strange title—Chaos Angel Died Hither. You open it but can't read any of the words, which are in a language you don't recognize. You put the book back and take out another. This one is smaller and bound in black leather. It's called Hither Died Chaos Angel. This, too, is written in an unfamiliar language. You put it back and look at a third book—Angel Died Chaos Hither. You look at a fourth and a fifth and a sixth...They are all variations of the same four words. As you search among the shelves, you realize that every single book in the library is the same.

Choose a book at random?
Go through the scroll door?
Go through the book door that leads to the guardroom?

SGamerz · Post by **SGamerz** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 11:35 am

Pick a book

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 12:55 pm

Yeah, try a book. And this is much better than bum faced monsters on every level.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 7:21 pm

You decide to let the gods choose one for you. You close your eyes, spin around and then walk forwards until your fingertips touch a row of books. You pick one out at random and look at it—Hither Chaos Angel Died.

Record the book on your Equipment List.

Go through the scroll door?
Go through the book door?

Adventure Sheet
Colin Hunt
SKILL: 11/11
STAMINA: 9/18
LUCK: 5/11
Equipment: Traveling Clothes, Lucky Anchor Charm, Silver Ring, Bier Goggles
Vials of Smoke-Oil: 0
Gold Pieces: 18
Weapons: Lord Azzur's Khopesh (+1 Attack Strength, extra +1 attack/damage vs. demons), Temple Guard's Axe (+1 Attack Strength, +1 damage on doubles rolled in combat), Fire Iron (-1 Attack Strength)
Items: Fishhook, Jar of Healing Ointment (+4 STAMINA when used), Poison Antidote, Silver Trowel, Map of Trolltooth Pass, Flask of Firewater, Bronze-Colored Jewel, Cold Sausage, Cookbook, Hither Chaos Angel Died
Compasses: Brass Compass, Silver Compass, Bronze Compass
Provisions: 2 meals (+4 STAMINA when eaten each), Dates (+3 STAMINA when eaten)
Keys: Icefinger Key
Magic Potions: 'Collywobbles', 'Dragon's Breath,' 2 bottles of 'Nostalgia' Perfume, 'Pretty as a Picture,' 'Thick as Thieves'
Magic Seeds: 3 Seeds of Mastery, Seed of Doubt, Seed of Treachery, Seed of Destruction, Seed of Change
Running Total of Bad Puns: 2
Bum-Faced Monster: Bum-Faced Monster.

SlyJohnny · Post by **SlyJohnny** » Fri Mar 29, 2019 7:55 pm

Scroll door.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sat Mar 30, 2019 1:43 am

You are in a wood-paneled study. There are two ways in and out of the room. The door that leads back to the library and an archway leading to a passage that glows with a faint purple light.

Every surface in the room, including the floor, is piled high with papers, scrolls, maps and books. Eventually, you spot movement behind a huge pile of ledgers. You walk closer and find a creature that looks a little like a man but is made entirely out of wood, sitting at a desk writing in a ledger. He looks up and peers over some wooden-framed spectacles at you, and you see that there are nails and screws holding him together.

'Ah,' he says. 'You must be the acolyte from the Crucible Isles. I have been expecting you. What took you so long?'

Ask the creature who he is?
Go through the library door?
Walk into the purple-lit passageway?

Thaluikhain · Post by **Thaluikhain** » Sat Mar 30, 2019 3:40 am

Talk to the creature.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sun Mar 31, 2019 2:22 am

'I am Ludo Hyperion,' says the wooden creature. 'Also known as the Wooden Scribe. I am over a thousand years old. I was originally a dryad, a tree creature, but I have been much repaired and much replaced over the years so that there is very little of the original wood left. Alas, I cannot leave my study as it is my job to write down in these ledgers everything that happens. So now I must note down that you have come into the room and I am talking to you, and I am writing about it...Everything, everything, everything. I mustn't miss a single moment. It is never-ending. I shall be writing this account until time stops. But that's enough about me. You have come to ask about the books, I expect. I suppose you know you will never find out how to enter the Gates of Death and confront Queen Ulrakaah unless you consult the correct book from our library...I'd better just write that down...'

Ask about the book?
Ask about the High Priestess?
Ask about the Gates of Death?
Go through the library door?
Walk into the purple-lit corridor?

SlyJohnny · Post by **SlyJohnny** » Sun Mar 31, 2019 6:24 am

Ask about book, gates, priestress.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sun Mar 31, 2019 11:11 pm

The Book:
'All the books in our library have been protected by magic to keep them from being read by the wrong eyes. Let the gods guide you in choosing the correct one. And, once chosen, you will have to get it translated by the Fish with a Thousand Voices.'

(New topic unlocked)

The Fish:
'The talking fish speaks many languages,' says the Wooden Scribe. 'And, like me, he is trapped here in the temple. I fear it will be hard to find him; the way to his hiding place has been blocked by a demon portal. Perhaps you could jump over it, though; you look fit enough.'

The Gates of Death:
'The Gates of Death are buried in a cavern here beneath the temple,' says Ludo. 'This city serves to keep them hidden and protected. The original way to the gates was blocked with rocks, but they say there is a secret tunnel somewhere in the temple. If you want to see the cavern, there is a viewing window at the end of that passageway.'

The Wooden Scribe points to the purple-lit corridor.

'But be careful,' he goes on. 'Ulrakaah's demons have laid traps all through the temple. I dare not go that way anymore myself. Do you have any other questions? Only I will have to write down everything we have talked about...'

The High Priestess:
'Our High Priestess, who looks after us all, is hiding somewhere in the temple,' says the Wooden Scribe. 'If you are pure of heart you will find her.'

Go through the library door?
Walk into the purple-lit corridor?

Whiysper · Post by **Whiysper** » Mon Apr 01, 2019 3:36 pm

...Babelfish? Really?

Half a vote to go back to the point we had to make a jump, and declined to do so. Which I think is out through the library. Equally, happy to hit the corridor of traps and trust to SKILL.

SlyJohnny · Post by **SlyJohnny** » Mon Apr 01, 2019 5:53 pm

I'm not sure why we would care about the viewing window to an area we've already reconnoitred, let alone care enough to brave a hallway of traps just to get to it. Is it just a hint as to how to get there? Maybe we'll do something to that area later that'll make a safe vantage point desirable.

Anyway, I agree with backtracking for jumping to find the fish. I think there were two jumping points, let's go back to the "fishy" one.

SGamerz · Post by **SGamerz** » Tue Apr 02, 2019 11:51 am

Agreed to both.