![Big Grin :biggrin:](./images/smilies/biggrinyellow.gif)
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I fucking hate the distressed aesthetic. I hate it. I hate the idea of spending money on new shit only to have it look like it's hella old, but not really. I hate the concept of working your ass off to make a thing, only to distress it so that it looks like a fifth grader made it.
But today, as I sat scrolling through the posts in the craft group I've joined on FB, looking at all the distressed shit that's just so basic, I had a realization... Making distressed crap is our time's answer to the demand for overwork and perfection. It's America's wabi-sabi. Spending the time and effort to properly coat a china hutch in chalk paint, and then taking sand paper to it so that it looks like it was always white to begin with is a way of camouflaging flaws in plain sight. And hiding future imperfections. And inadequacies.
Don't know what you're doing? Don't worry! By making it look old and distressed, it covers blemishes and conceals the fact that your skills are less than a master's. Have kids who leave sticky fingerprints on stuff or smack into the furniture with their toys? That divot won't show if you just rough up the surface there and touch it up with a marker.
But it's spread too far. We're at the point where they print distressed wood patterns on linoleum so that you can have that reclaimed wood look. They could print anything on that stuff. They could print galaxies or gemstones or glitter or gold or anything... But they're printing distressed wood (they've actually been printing it for a while - it's the style that doesn't seem to ever die). And it comes in Long Island Sound Bleached Shingle Grey, and PacNW Cedar Fence Brown. Hopeless colors. The colors of no escape. Hill to die on neutrals.
Don't get me started on those faux handwritten fonts that don't stay all on one line: kindergarten chic meets mommy blog. Retch.
It is inspiring to me, though. In rebellion, I want to spray paint my front door YiNMn blue. Something bright and different from the rest of the neighborhood. Or sand my bathroom vanity and paint it white... With latex paint in a semi-gloss finish. Just to be daring! Or stain my mantel dark purple. Because I like dark colors, damn it. Not everything should be greige and/or white.
I can't wait for this decor fad to be over. It's very distressing.