Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2017 12:00 pm
Commit unprovoked murder.
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TREASURE ROOM
That's what it says, Pip! Right there on the door! Who knows what loot and goodies you'll get now to bring home to your adoptive parents with the story of how you eventually found the Key and closed the Gateway to the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead!
You rush in eagerly to the 10' x 30' room to find yourself confronted by a very thin, bespectacled Nerd wearing the traditional red cape and spats of the species, seated behind a wooden desk on which are papers and a large bell.
'Welcome,' he says. 'What treasure have you come to give me?'
'Give you?' you echo. 'Give you?' This isn't a real Treasure Room at all--at least not the sort you thought. This stupid Nerd wants you to give him treasure, while you were perhaps thinking there might be a bit you could nick.
'Your sword, perhaps--a magical item, I'll be bound if you've survived this far. Or you may have a Tinglering secreted on your person. Or--'
'I have not yet made up my mind to give you anything, Ignoble Nerd,' you tell him pompously, looking around for anywhere he may have concealed treasure, or possibly a key.
'In that case, I shall be forced to ring my bell,' says the Nerd. He blinks at you mildly. 'I'm sure you wouldn't want me to do that.'
Well, would you? Certainly you can't let him have EJ, but he looks the sort of Nerd that would accept a hefty bribe--a 100 gold pieces, say. Or you could always hack him into Nerd cubes before he has a chance to ring the bell. Or you could let him ring the silly thing anyway and see what happens.
You can try to bribe the Nerd 100 gold pieces. If you succeed you may leave the room safely.
You can let him ring the bell and go to 101.
Or you can hack him into Nerd cubes at 124.
"See what happens if he rings the bell" and "continue with the murdering" are two different options, so you need to pick one between the two.Thaluikhain wrote:That's a freaky doorknob. I suspect we don't want him to ring the bell, but I want to see what happens, so continue with the murdering.
Roll one die. Score 1 to 3 and the Nerd manages to ring his bell: go to 101. Score 4 to 6 and you get in the first blow, thus preventing his ringing the bell and starting yet another hassle.
The Nerd has 20 LIFE POINTS, hits on 6 and carries a stiletto with paralysing poison on the blade so that you miss one strike back each time he hits you successfully.
If you manage to kill him, you will find 100 gold pieces in his boot but no other treasure, and may leave the room through the door to 133.
If he kills you, it's 14.
You have entered a Gallery of Mirrors, 20' wide and a full 80' long. Not ordinary mirrors, of course: not in a place like this. They are all distorting mirrors, the sort you get at carnivals where you look in and see yourself as a fat dwarf or a thin giant. Except they aren't exactly like carnival mirrors. Carnival mirrors are fun. These reflections show you all gnarled and deformed and nastily distorted, wizened and twisted and yuuuch.
In fact, they're making you feel as though you really were gnarled and wrinkled and--
'They're magic mirrors, Pip!' shouts EJ, somewhat muffled from his scabbard. 'Don't look into them!'
Fool sword: never gives good advice and when he does, it's too late. You're looking in the mirrors, Pip, and gradually changing into something ghastly. Throw two dice quickly to find out if you have the willpower to look away.
Score 2 to 6 and go to 109.
Score 7 to 12 and go to 130.
****
There's willpower for you! With a massive effort, you drag your gaze away from the distorting mirror and find, to your relief, that your body begins to untwist and unwrinkle and ungnarl until you change back into the incredibly fit, handsome and athletic person you have always been.
The only problem is the Thing that is stepping out of the mirror you've been looking into.
It's the gnarled, wrinkled, twisted version of you that you have just been looking at. It's open to a four-star bribe, since it shares your lust for gold, but apart from that, you'll never get a Friendly Reaction. What you need to do here is fight, Pip. Fight the ghastly version of yourself. Fortunately it only has half your current LIFE POINTS, but apart from that it is you in every respect, including the twisted version of EJ that it carries, so it won't be an easy fight.
If you kill the twisted you, you will find your distorted replica carries the same amount of gold and booty you do, so everything you have is automatically doubled. If you can cope with the weight, you can stagger off to 123 through the door to the south, to 77 through the door to the west or into the corridor through the northernmost door to the west.
If you kill you (that is, if the real you gets killed by the twisted you) one of you had better get on down to 14.
This looks interesting. A 20' x 20' room with a chest in the middle of the floor. An unguarded chest in the middle of the floor. How about that? The monster must be on its tea break.
This thing is, Pip, do you risk trying to open the chest? It may have some sort of nasty trap all ready and waiting to send you back to 14.
Risk trying to open the chest by going to 104.
Go through the north-western door to 92.
Go through the southern door into the corridor.
Do we want to take the unknown blue stuff?The chest is open and you're still here. No trap at all.
Inside there is a vial of a light blue liquid which, when you take the stopper out, smells of old socks. You're going to have to risk testing that liquid if you want to find out what it does. But if you taste it, you'll also risk the possibility that it's the most potent poison known to humanity and it might kill you outright.
This is known as Hobson's Choice, Pip.
You can taste the liquid by going to 141, take the north-eastern door to 92, or take the southern door into the corridor.
We traded an anti-poison spell for an anti-poison drink. But the drink has 6 doses and can be used without rolling dices, so it's not a bad trade-off. The only downside is that it takes up an inventory slot.Tastes like old socks as well. It could be poison with a taste like that--Poisonous Elixir of Old Socks, a famous alchemical distillation. But don't start to writhe away in agony just yet, because this is, in fact, a Poison Antidote. One swig of this stuff will cure any known poison... and there are six swigs in the vial. Use a dose now if you happen to be poisoned, otherwise save it carefully in case you might be in the future.
Go through the north-eastern door to 92, or go through the southern door into the corridor.
There's a man eating plant in here.
The plant he's eating is a carrot and it's screaming for help. This Ghastly Kingdom gets more like a loonybin every step you take.
'Help!' screams the carrot.
'Ignore it,' remarks the man, with a friendly nod in your direction. 'This is one of the most appallingly evil carrots ever to pollute the face of the globe. I shall die instantly when I finish eating it, but I willingly sacrifice myself for the good of humanity which will be all the better for the demise of this evil carrot.'
'I'm not evil! I'm not evil!' shouts the carrot. 'I am a beautiful young princess bewitched by an Invisible Wizard who haunts this Ghastly Kingdom. Please rescue me!'
'You will be making a terrible mistake if you try to rescue this carrot,' says the man mildly. 'It's a vampire carrot.'
'He's lying,' shrieks the carrot desperately.
But is he? Or is it? Or are they both? Desperately you look around for some clue to help you make your decision. Your eye catches a prominent notice on the southern wall. It says:
RESCUE THE CARROT!
You reach for EJ, but then you catch sight of a second notice on the western wall. It says:
DON'T RESCUE THE CARROT!
You allow your hand to fall away in confusion. You glance upwards. A huge poster pasted on the ceiling says:
PLAY YOUR XYLOPHONE!
Which seems as sensible a course as any in this lunatic situation, provided, of course, you brought a xylophone.
So what will you do?
If you decide to rescue the carrot, go to 112.
If you decide to ignore the whole affair and try to find a saner room, go to 143.
If you happen to have a xylophone with you and feel like playing it, go to 149.
An "are you sure?" option, which I will proceed with "yes" for this one, because....'Hold on, Princess - I'm coming!' You shout bravely, drawing EJ and leaping forward in true adventurer style.
'Here, just at minute!' EJ protests. 'I don't believe that's a princess at all - it looks like a vampire carrot to me.'
'Exactly as I told,' the man says calmly. 'You should listen to your sword. It seems to be a very sensible weapon.'
'But I'm a princess!' wails the carrot. 'You can't just leave me here to be eaten!'
You hesitate, the reluctant EJ pointed in the direction of the man's throat.
Do you still want to rescue the carrot, despite what EJ thinks? If so, go to 145. If not, you should return to 123 and pick another option.
.....we're asked the same question again.As you lunge towards the man, he drops the carrot, steps back and, grinning evilly, draws a short, gold-tipped rod from the folds of his sleeve.
'I warn you!' he cries. 'This is a Wand of Incredible Destruction and I shall use it without hesitation to save us both from the vampire carrot.'
'Not a vampire! Not a vampire!' shouts the carrot.
This is getting really hairy, Pip. Are you honestly prepared to face a Wand of Incredible Destruction for the sake of this fugitive from a Kitchen Garden? If so, turn to 158. If not, return to 123 and pick another option.