POKEYMANS thread

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:21 am

I cashed in big time in the luck department. I found a Moxie Heracross in a Hidden Grotto. For White 2, that's a 1/400 chance. It's slightly better odds in Black 2, at 3/400 (okay, three times as likely, but still "fuck all", not even 1%).

So I now have an awesome member to add to either my Bug Team or my Fighting Team. Sure, we're talking x4 from Flying attacks, but they're not that common, and come on, STAB Bug moves and STAB Fighting moves - that handles Normal, Rock, Steel, Dark (both ways), Grass and Psychic.

Still no Drought Vulpix, which is a 1% find, but I'll just be patient and keep searching.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:28 am

Darthy wrote:Questions and such

No to the first (I should've clarified that the pun was bad even by my standards; whoever thought up that needs to be subjected to the music in Roxies gym for eternity); yes the second (about his being creepy to you regardless of whether you possess a Nuzleaf or Solosis under your belt); and finally, yes, she really coulda been, but Hitch was a totally creepy pervy asshold towards her, and she really just had enough of him. So, it's his fault.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 8:33 pm

(A RANT draws near!)

So, I've been playing a bit more of White2, and I must say, the game sucks.

Mainly, it feeds a bit too much off of it's own hype, and just seems incredibly gimmicky. Yes, it's nice that there'z a movie studio thingy; yes, it's nice that you can battle past gym leaders; yes, it's okay that most of the game is centered around the annoying fact that they don't even pretend to give a fuck about a story, gameplay, and character/Pokemon design, but look! WiFi connection stuff! YEAH! COOL!

They focus so much on the new features, and are so in your face about them, that it severly detracts from enjoying the game. I mean, they force you to go check out the movie making place before you can even advace the plot. That alone made me almost throw the game across the room.

They basically took the bad elements from Black/White, and then added even more annoying shit to them. Primus help us.

I prefer a game with more story and less focus on the new features and gimmicks. I'm mean, I enjoyed FireRed and Emerald more than this steaming turd. Hell, even fucking Yellow was better.

I'll still probably force myself to play the games, but I'll probably spend more time playing Megaman X5 and X6 than this pile.

(Congratulations! Thou hast defeated the RANT!

Thy EXP increases by 250

Thy GOLD increases by 500)

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 9:08 pm

Shrapnel wrote:They basically took the bad elements from Black/White, and then added even more annoying shit to them.

There is no way that Black2/White2 is as bad as Black/White.

You can hate Black 2 all you want.

Hell, I'll agree that it's worse than almost any Pokemon game (but not Gen III, I still remember the weeks spent trying to kill that fvcking Elite Four in both Ruby and Leaf Green.)

But nothing could do more damage to the brand than Black/White already has, they're really that bad, and I think you know that.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 10:26 pm

So what if Gen III was hard? I didn't particularly find it that difficult.

Regardless, Gen III still had a far superior story, plot, and in general just better goodness than Gen V. It's like comparing Return of the Jedi to Attack of the Clones. Sure, out of the three original movies, Returndidn't really... return, so to speak. But it looks like fucking Citizen Kane compared tp Episode II.

I'm sorry, but the Pokemon brand is dying. It may never actually kick the bucket, but it's like the Simpsons; well past it's prime, and none of the new stuff is that good. They should've ended it with Gen IV.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Fri Nov 30, 2012 11:05 pm

Again, that's all fine and dandy.

I'm just saying that this statement:

Black2/White2 < Black/White

Is bad, and you should feel bad if that's what you were trying to say.

Not Gen V as a blanket statement is greater than/equal to/worse than Gen III.

Aside on Gen III (spoilered)

I acknowledge that my opinion on Gen III is an unpopular one, but in general I don't give a shit about plots of Pokemon games, as long as they aren't so terrible as to offend me (such was the case in Black, but not in Black 2.)

Honestly, none of the Pokemon games have what I would call good, or even decent, plots.

And mechanically I found Gen III was the least enjoyable to play.

The Pokemon designs had the same greatly varying quality found in Gen IV (without the great mechanics of the latter to back it up)

Abilities were introduced (and in Gen III were generally set to favor the opponent rather than the player, since most Pokemon with good Abilities in Gen III were either really rare; not likely for you to have, but very common for opponents to have, or legendaries which you get one of until post-game,) and the Sp. Atk/Atk divide was still based on Pokemon Type, as opposed to Move Type.

Black 2/White 2 allowed you to not take shitty Gen V Pokemon with you (but you could take any of the very few good ones you wanted) and had a far less stupid plot and characters than Black/White, and the morals were much less hammered over your head.

But, I've said that shit a billion times now, and I'm sure you know that, so I'm going to stop trying.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 1:25 am

I'm not saying that the previous games (Black/White) are better, I'm saying that they also suck just as much.

Basically, I just think the game is far too gimmicky, and that that severely limits it's enjoyablity.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 1:35 am

Gimmicky I can get behind, "just as bad" not so much.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 2:50 am

I hated third generation. I tried replaying Emerald recently, and just can't be fucked continuing it. Especially seeing as you just get given a 3Gen starter in HGSS after you beat everyone.

I can't really remember the Abilities. I mean, so many things rocked up with Intimidate, which was a pain, and - as always - your starter has a kind of shitty ability. And Sturdy was fucking useless back then, as opposed to now where it's handy for battles, awesome for enemies to have when capturing... and a pain in the ass to beat as a random battle.

But yeah. 3Gen is the worst. 5Gen is not good, but at least BW2 are decent. I love everything that isn't related to battling (okay, I also don't like the stupid achievements, but you can ignore those). It's no 4th Gen, but BW2 are still solid and enjoyable.

That said, every now and then I think "I really need a Life Orb/Choice Band/Focus Sash/That TM over there" and try the PWT or something. It pisses me off so much I'm thinking of taking up smoking, alcoholism or something just for the instant-stress-relief-at-the-cost-of-longterm-health-I-don't-even-have.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 3:05 am

Koumei wrote:And Sturdy was fucking useless back then

It was almost literally a "fuck you" ability to the player that you got in lieu of (usually) Rock Head (which was awesome on an Aggron or Golem or Aerodactyl or fucking almost any Rock Pokemon out there, but doesn't seem nearly as easy to find on a Pokemon in the wild as Sturdy is)

Then Klutz blew it out of the water in that regard (an alternate ability that actually made the Pokemon with it worse; Gen IV did pull that one on us, but I'm willing to forgive it; I'm willing to forgive a lot for Walking Pokemon.)

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:08 am

In and of itself, Klutz is shit. But the idea is you use it to screw your opponent over - you hold a harmful item and use Bestow/Trick/Switcheroo to give them the Barb/Toxic Orb/Flame Orb/Choice ___.

Other shit-tastic Abilities include:
Truant: lose every second turn - you can at least switch out or use an item on those turns.
Slow Start: halved Speed and Attack for the first 5 turns!
Unnerve: OH WOW, THEY CAN'T EAT BERRIES!
Defeatist: your Att and Sp.Att are halved when you're below 1/2 HP.
Light Metal: you weigh less. Affects four moves.
Heavy Metal: you weigh more. Affects four moves.

Also, I was so excited about Reckless Rhydon - imagine the kind of boosted power of Double Edge! ...only to discover the only Recoil move it learns is the awful Takedown. It should totally have access to stuff like Flare Blitz and Wild Charge and Double Edge.

Istred · Post by **Istred** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:49 am

Can't you get a Reckless Rhyhorn with Double Edge in the Dream World? It's not much, but still better than Take Down...

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 12:56 pm

>The Dream World

Hahahaha, good one. Fuck you, Nintendo.

Things my ds and 3ds can't connect to:
[*]Absolutely anything that is not an actual Nintendo product

Turns out they can only connect to the things where you personally own the router and you press a button on it to send a connection signal, and to things with no security or with a WEP key (the weakest security, thus the kind nobody uses). So I can't use:
[*]Dreamworld
[*]Nintendo Online Store (and thus, the cool pokemon AR thing)
[*]Special Events
[*]Linking with the previous game to collect N's pokemon

But I'll just add it to the list of things to do when I get a new Action Replay: get a Reckless Rhyperior with Double Edge/Volt Tackle/High Jump Kick/Inferno Blitz.
Right up there with make teams for PWT that are so illegal it isn't funny and steamroll them just for lulz.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sat Dec 01, 2012 1:13 pm

Ability changing shit actually made things like Truant, Slow Start, and Defeatist pretty good for multi-battles.

You just Simple Beam or Worry Seed your ally with that ability and get a Pokemon that most likely has amazing stats.

In a single Battle, Role Play or Skill Swap or something might be of use on those (not sure if you could teach them to Slaking or Archeops, though.)

Teaching Slaking Giga Impact is really good for taking care of Truant (since it'd lose the turn anyways, and is a Normal type with amazing Attack.)

In Gen III you used Hyper Beam instead but the idea remained the same.

Unnerve/Light Metal/Heavy Metal are all poor abilities, but don't actually make the Pokemon using them worse.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sun Dec 02, 2012 1:43 am

Assuming the recharge from Giga Impact overrides the Truant turn, as opposed to losing 3 turns (GI, loafing off, recharge, loafing off), that could work. I mean, a turn spent recharging is worse than a turn spent loafing off (it locks you into recharging instead of letting you just spend that turn switching out or using an item), but as long as you land a KO (and you should), you can use your free switch-out (because you're fighting the AI using normal battle rules, not the shitty PWT/multiplayer rules) to negate both Truant AND Recharge.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sun Dec 02, 2012 2:34 am

It does override the Truant turn.

A friend of mine had a really nasty Slaking that did that.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sun Dec 02, 2012 3:05 am

I love the fact that Bidoof has nearly been banned on smogon. Now, I only use smogon for decent movelists for pokemon I'm not that familiar with, I think their obsession with categorising pokemon and making rules that everyone has to adhere to is fucking retarded. But yeah, Bidoof. Almost banned because if you're taking Bidoof, it's obviously the Hidden Ability one. And it's Hidden Ability is Moody.

Now Moody is an awesome (if unpredictable) Ability, and the randomness (especially if combined with various stalling tactics) can totally throw things in the air. But let's put it this way: Simple means that Swoobat's Calm Mind is actually an Amnesia and Nasty Plot at the same time, giving 2 free stat boosts that you have chosen, not random ones, and that hasn't turned it into Flying Godzilla.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:31 am

I don't think I've ever told anyone here about this, and since this is a POKEMON thread, I figure, what the fuck, why not?

(Spoilered 'cause it's long)

In my personal fanon, Johto was and is a queendom once known as Femiscyra, a land ruled entirely by women, for women. Basically, imagine a cross between Saiyan and Amazonian society, but without the egalitarianism.

Thousands of years ago, Femiscrya was a wild place, and her people no less so. They were a savage, blood-thristy, backassward warrior race, conquering all the nearby lands and continents that would someday become Kanto, Orre, Hoenn, and Sinnoh.

Femiscryan society was seriously fucked up. Males were treated incredibly poorly, and were viewed not just as inferior citizens, but as inferior lifeforms. They were considered useful only for reproductive purposes, cannon fodder, and slaves. Femiscryans would often keep large harems of men, and they were all forced to live in small, tightly packed shanty-dwellings. Men were often raped and beaten, since they were viewed as sub-human and thus did not have the same rights as a human being (ie a women).

If you were a man, and happend to be visiting Femiscrya, your best bet at not being enslaved and raped was to try your hardest to stop being male.

In those days, Pokemon battles and all the various shit related to them had not yet been introduced into those lands. Pokemon were just there, and they co-existed more or less the same way people do with animals in the real world (meaning they hunted them and exploited them and made several hundred species go extinct for the greater good of building a parking mall where that Farfetch'd habitat used to be).

Everything changed when the Fire Nation Lance, the Dragon-Born and Vampire Lord, began his conquest of the world and conquered Femiscrya, and renamed it Johto, which in the Tounge of the Ancients means, "Place that used to be like a cross between Saiyan and Amazonian society, but without the egalitarianism, until Lance the Dragon-Born and Vampire Lord took it over and gave it this name".

Under his rule, Femiscryans were forced to treat males as human beings, rather than property, and they had to obey the laws and customs of the Pokemon League, the corrupt, dictatoral goverment headed by Lance and the Elite Four, a small but ruthless group of Lances most loyal warriors and supporters.

For hundreds of years, Femiscrya cringed under the yolk of oppression. They wouldn't have minded so much if not for the fact that their conqueror was a man. They couldn't stand it. After all, this is the place that was voted "#1 place to avoid having a dick". So, after centuries of male dominiation, a heroine arose from the people of Femiscrya: a direct descendent of the first Queen of Femiscrya, Cassidy Belle*.

She traveled around all Johto and Kanto, battling the evil forces of the Decepticons Lance's army, defeating all sixteen of his Demon Generals (Gym Leaders), facing off against the Elite Four, and finally confronting and triumphing over Lance himself. The final battle was quick but fierce, and it ended when Cassidy's Lugia (affectionately referred to as "Lube Dragon") tore Lance's Dragonite in half, giving Cassidy an opening to get close to the vampiric Dragon Lord and decapitate him with her bare hands (her nails had been done with silver nail polish, and with some sparkles thrown in for fun), and then destroyed him utterly by throwing his head and body separately into Mt. Doom, where he had been forged.

Once this was accomplished, Cassidy returned to her homeland, a liberator and heroine. She was proclaimed Queen of Femiscrya, and given the honorable title: She Who Slew the Beast With Her Bare Fucking Hands, Can You Believe That? Oh, and She Wears a Stylish Hat.

That was over three hundred years ago.

Today, Cassidy is still the Queen, a spry and sprightly four hundred and sixteen. (Femiscryans live a really long time, and don't age past their prime, like Sayians.) Not muched has changed there, except for the fact that Femiscrya is a lot less conquery these days. It's still a good idea to avoid being a male there, though.

* My character from SoulSilver. What? Playing that game (and DragonQuest IV) is what gave me most of the inspriation for all this.

I've written a few fanfics about all this. I gave a lot of thought to all this, can you tell?

Maybe someday I'll tell you about Unova, the Pokemon planet's moon.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:58 am

I imagine this can be explained by drugs. I'm not sure what kind, but clearly they're the fun kind.

Is this why Clair is so bitchy? Because she remembers what was (for her at least) a better world?

Most of my deep thinking about Pokemon is trying to figure out their money: the most incredibly rare of ancient artefacts fetches you 300,000 pokedollars. A can of soft drink costs 350 pokedollars. I'm pretty sure there are artefacts in this world that cost more than a thousand dollars. The bit where a big useless fish costs a little bit more than a can of drink is on the "awesome deal" end of believable - were it a goldfish I'd think it reasonable, but this thing is as big as your head. That's if we don't include the bit where it evolves into Gyarados.

Chamomile · Post by **Chamomile** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 1:08 am

When I rewrite the plots of Pokemon games into bizarre and almost completely unrelated stories, I usually make them into Gundams.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 1:41 am

Koumei wrote:Is this why Clair is so bitchy? Because she remembers what was (for her at least) a better world?

Clair was Lance's... niece? No, cousin, I think. She was granted special status in Lance's regime: She was made Queen of Johto and given near-absolute rule over most of the reigon. Her castle was in Blackthorn City, which was in the olden days of Femiscrya a penal colony for the mentally unstable (such as women who that men should vote, that beer should be sold freely, and people who thought that trickle down theory is actually viable).

She's bitchy for two reasons: one is that yes, under Lance's rule she was better off, because previously she was mental. Second, she was cursed, by the the patron Femiscryan Goddess of Everlite Flashlights and Microwave Pizzas, Mama Celestria, to forever be in "that time of the month", 24/7, year-round.

Also, Cassidy dissed her dress.

Chamomile wrote:When I rewrite the plots of Pokemon games into bizarre and almost completely unrelated stories, I usually make them into Gundams.

Bah, Gundams are merely wannabe Transformers.

I usually try to go above and beyond the absurd with my rewrites.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:29 am

I've heard most of this before, Shrapnel, so I won't comment.

I had a dream where Giovanni formed Team Rocket as a liberation front against the tyrannical Lance's reign, having abandoned his position as Gym Leader after Lance incinerated Giovanni's wife with his Charizard for "holding him back."

So he gradually isolated himself from the rest of the world because he wanted to use Pokemon as weapons to change the status quo, as opposed to enforcing it.

And then some punk kids crushed his dream.

I have no idea what I was on when I dreamed that.

Shrapnel wrote:Bah, Gundams are merely wannabe Transformers.

Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) predates Diaclone by 1 year (1980,) Macross (1982) by 3, Microchange (1983) by 4, and Transformers (1984) by 5.

So it's really the other way around.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:48 am

Right down to the bit where neither were really financially viable as anything but an excuse to sell toys.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:10 am

Fictional giant robots aren't really good for much else, financially.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:32 pm

Darth Rabbitt wrote:Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) predates Diaclone by 1 year (1980,) Macross (1982) by 3, Microchange (1983) by 4, and Transformers (1984) by 5.

Not the Microman line itself, which was around in the mid-seventies, or Shockwave, aka Astro Magnum, which was sold by ToyCo in around 1975 I believe.

And, speaking fictionally, TF's are millions of years old.

And finally, which brand is/was more successful? Yup.