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ckafrica · Post by **ckafrica** » Sun Nov 30, 2008 7:09 pm

Sig: if you're white I can hook you up with okay work as long as you don't mind living in a tropical country jampacked with hot chicks. I run 18$ an hour teaching english over here and drop less than half my salary on cost of living. As long as your young and white and you can easily find work over here.

Bigode · Post by **Bigode** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 12:24 am

Count_Arioch_the_28th wrote:I'm lucky. My only problem at the moment is not getting laid enough. Unfortunately, I have yet to figure out how to turn that into an advantage.

Trust me, while there are downsides, if you aren't seeing advantages, you aren't looking hard enough (talking in regards to sex with non-prostitutes).

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 4:33 am

ckafrica wrote:Sig: if you're white I can hook you up with okay work as long as you don't mind living in a tropical country jampacked with hot chicks. I run 18$ an hour teaching english over here and drop less than half my salary on cost of living. As long as your young and white and you can easily find work over here.

I dunno man, can't afford to be around too many hot chicks.
Not single any more. Maybe years ago I would jump at the chance but not now.

Do you have parasite problems there? I hear tropics have issues with rampant bacterial outbreaks as well thanks to heat and humidity.

I'll take my chances this winter with either stocking in Target or the local liquor stores, but if no one hires in that I'll have to wash dishes or something.
With, well, a college degree.
Seriously, the whole fucking town's commercial sector has an application from me and no interviews.
Ah. America.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:08 am

sigma999 wrote:I'll have to wash dishes or something.
With, well, a college degree.

I imagine a sponge or scrubber would be much better for that.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:04 pm

That heavy paper they print diplomas on still has some scouring power.

Me? I'll likely be able to get a job in my field. Given the university I attend, I'll likely get paid to go to graduate school after I get a bachelors.

See, people talk smack about Alabama all the time, but you never hear about the really good geology programs we have in the colleges...

But first, I've got to get a bachelor's. Which means I still have to pass...

Structural Geology
Petrology
Sedimentology
Hydrology
Physics
Chemistry

I wish I'd been introduced to DnD *after* I graduated. Then I'd have nothing else to do in class but pay attention...

TarkisFlux · Post by **TarkisFlux** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 10:14 pm

Maxus wrote:Me? I'll likely be able to get a job in my field. Given the university I attend, I'll likely get paid to go to graduate school after I get a bachelors

Yup, most of the hard science grad programs will pay your tuition and then some (as a research assistant or teaching assistant). It's a good gig as long as you like the work and have reasonable prospects after you get the PhD. And since neither of those were true for me and physics, I dropped out after a year. Ah, memories...

Absentminded_Wizard · Post by **Absentminded_Wizard** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 3:08 am

sigma wrote:I'll take my chances this winter with either stocking in Target or the local liquor stores, but if no one hires in that I'll have to wash dishes or something.
With, well, a college degree.

Well, I did it for eight years in possibly the most dysfunctional workplace ever. You can survive. Of course, it seems like few places hire people just to wash dishes any more.

ckafrica · Post by **ckafrica** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:20 am

sigma999 wrote: I dunno man, can't afford to be around too many hot chicks.
Not single any more. Maybe years ago I would jump at the chance but not now.

Well being over here tends to fix the not single problem pretty quick

Do you have parasite problems there? I hear tropics have issues with rampant bacterial outbreaks as well thanks to heat and humidity.

I bowels have been... shall we say inconsistent forthe better part of 3 years over here, but then again my sisters have been bad back at home so who knows the cause. Dengue is a risk and we apparently had a bit of a malaria outbreak recently. Really the most dangerous thing is the driving and the girls. Violence-wise, Vietnam is probably one of the safest countries in the world, believe it or not.

I'll take my chances this winter with either stocking in Target or the local liquor stores, but if no one hires in that I'll have to wash dishes or something.
With, well, a college degree.
Seriously, the whole fucking town's commercial sector has an application from me and no interviews.
Ah. America.

..................uh have fun?

But seriously, why stick around in a dead end town working dead end jobs. You're university educated, if you can't think/find something to do related to what you studied you can pretty much guarantee yourself a job in Asia as a teacher. If you don't have the money, apply for as many credit cards as you can, max them out on cash withdrawls and default on them and get the fuck out of dodge. Go somewhere you'll be at least somewhat respect and admired

Judging__Eagle · Post by **Judging__Eagle** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 3:38 pm

zeruslord wrote:We're really luck we got Rick Astley instead of somebody who objects and would make a big deal out of it.

It's great publicity. Remember how popular Rick James became again because of the Dave Chappelle sketches, or how those same sketches also pushed Charlie Murphy to popularity?

He'd be a moron to not cash in on the Rick Rolling phenomenon. Plus, it just makes him look cooler if he endorses it, and he probably knows it.

Relations with my mother have still degraded as she still struggles to accept that there is no medication for my learning problems and no cure for my "made-up allergy to eye contact" as she says.
And as if to think I almost believed my own mother that I was schizophrenic and bipolar (like her) for all the problems throughout public education.
Main reason why she claims there's no way I'm autistic: "You need to work on eye contact. Looking away is passive-aggressive and you need to stop doing it. It's rude, inconsiderate, and disrespectful."
I also remind her of her alcoholic father.

For the first part.... low charisma is part of why your mother doesn't understand the fact the simple fact that "other people are not you, the are other people."

Asking someone to realize that is very, very, hard. However once you can understand that concept, it makes dealing with people a lot easier.

The last part about eye contact is funny for me.

I've been told that I'm incredibly frightening by some people because I don't break eye-contact even in casual conversations in a group. Which murders the argument of "no eye contact is rude/inconsiderate/disrespectful", and then guts it, and then shits on it before finally soaking it in kerosene and tossing in a lit match.

Honestly, if anything, I've noticed that everyone not only doesn't, but can't, maintain continuous eye contact over an extended period of time in conversation with me. Either because humans can't do unbroken eye-contact easily, or that I must obviously have demon eyes and people look away in fear.

How much does anyone want to wager that the second is the real reason why I notice that people can look me in the face all the time? Because I'll bet against you.

Finally, reminding her of her alcoholic father doesn't really help. Ask her how you do so, and ask her if she feels that you are him, if she can acknowledge that she feels this way, then perhaps she can reconcile with the fact that she shouldn't be putting the "alcoholic father" label on you.

You could Remind her that if she thinks that way too much, that you might become that way for reals. Since you'd be living up to her expectations. You probably won't, but it will help to change her attitude towards you.

Get her to change her idea that you have the same problems she has, and that you're like someone else she knows.

Also, if you need to travel to get work, why not do so?

People do it all the freaking time. You'll obviously not do it at the drop of a hat, but you could plan to do so over the course of several months or a year.

---------------------

Finally, I found out that I might need to go back to university and pick up a bachelor's in something in order to easily get a green card if I want to work in the states as a 3D animator of any kind. Working almost everywhere else requires no such thing.

Which wouldn't be too bad. I'd like to work as a writer/designer for games than strictly as an FX/Modeller/Rigger/Texture Artist, so getting a bachelour's in english (focus on literature? or maybe a bachelors in history and work with ancient literature) would synergize with what I want to do. Yes, I'm trying to be a powergamer in life too.

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:03 pm

Eye contact is totally a social construct. In some cultures, eye-contact is rude, and in others, it's essential. So J-E would score highly in Urban (Black) America, whereas you'd score highly in Korea.

-Crissa

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:50 pm

Crissa wrote:Eye contact is totally a social construct. In some cultures, eye-contact is rude, and in others, it's essential. So J-E would score highly in Urban (Black) America, whereas you'd score highly in Korea.

-Crissa

Excellent point. I had been tempted to write up a big paragraph about how people vary in the amount of eye contact they are comfortable with and that you have to read them to know when to look away, but this covers it very well.

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 10:00 pm

Yeah, but that's what Asperger's is - a type of autism where the mirror cells in the brain function differently and fail to make an individual innately aware of social stress.

Whether it's a developmental change from training or environment or what, we don't know, but it can totally be overcome by knowing it's there and creating new pathways consciously.

Of course, those don't help if tossed into a situation that one hasn't trained for.

But in essence, it's no different than knowing which fork and spoon to use. No one is born knowing which fork and spoon to use, they have to be taught. The earlier they're shown, the more innately they'll take to the situation. But that doesn't mean you can't be taught rules like 'outside in' or 'smallest to largest' and then you can drill them in with conscious training.

The brain is far more moldable than we give it credit for. Personalities, on the other hand, resist it. So do fingerprints. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. ^-^

-Crissa

Judging__Eagle · Post by **Judging__Eagle** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 10:29 pm

On Social constructs:

Hell, even KISSING and beauty are a social constructs.

If you're in Japan, kissing was once the equivalent of porn.

If you're in some parts of Africa kissins the equivalent of giving someone a nose-job with your tongue.

While in say Prague, visibly fondling someone is okay, and the Czech republic apparently lowered the legal age of consent from 15, to 14. Because obviously, the limit of 15 was limiting some people's groove.

On social interaction:

Also, if you're smart enough, you can fake charisma, and wisdom. Eventually you'll develop some of each, but you can seriously learn what charisma and wisdom are, even if you started off with a stat of 10 or 11 in each.

I'm hardly the most likable person initially, but given time I've seldom had people form an honest to god hate for me Perhaps the people that do hide it very well, or I'm less perceptive than I give myself credit for.

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:05 pm

Judging__Eagle wrote:Also, if you're smart enough, you can fake charisma, and wisdom. Eventually you'll develop some of each, but you can seriously learn what charisma and wisdom are, even if you started off with a stat of 10 or 11 in each.

I've seen this happen. I've learned to fake wisdom. I've taught a couple people how to fake charisma.

Talisman · Post by **Talisman** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:49 pm

Judging__Eagle wrote:Honestly, if anything, I've noticed that everyone not only doesn't, but can't, maintain continuous eye contact over an extended period of time in conversation with me. Either because humans can't do unbroken eye-contact easily, or that I must obviously have demon eyes and people look away in fear.

I am hereafter going to refer to you as "Demon Eyes."

Seriously. Unless you tell me not to.

Got any pics? You've got me all curious.

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:03 am

My favorite saying is, "You don't have to be outgoing to reap the benefits of being out going. Just pretend real good."

-Crissa

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:37 am

Judging__Eagle wrote: Honestly, if anything, I've noticed that everyone not only doesn't, but can't, maintain continuous eye contact over an extended period of time in conversation with me. Either because humans can't do unbroken eye-contact easily, or that I must obviously have demon eyes and people look away in fear.

My experience is that nobody maintains eye contact continuously through an extended conversation unless they want to intimidate you or fuck you. It's too intimate for normal interaction.

erik · Post by **erik** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 2:05 am

I've known some "demon eyes" people. It was bizarre until I realized that's just how they were. One guy in particular didn't just maintain eye contact, it was like, lidless eyes full-open, bug-eyed stares that wouldn't quit.

As for modifying personality/charisma, I know I used to be a very withdrawn youngster. I wouldn't speak up, I'd hide under counters or in book cases (I was tiny) at grade school, talkin to girls- fuhgeddaboudit. I'm so happy that nobody misdiagnosed me as having some sort of disorder and medicated me. I had a hard time changing since I got stuck into trying to conform into other people's expectations of me.

When I went to highschool I decided that since I was around new people, the expectations didn't apply so I could try and change my personality by forcing myself to talk more. I became a lot more open, but was still a fairly shy guy. Took me til Senior year to ask out to prom the girl I had a crush on since grade school. Not a perfect success, but a big improvement.

When I went to college I decided to go all out. I sat in the front of all my classes. I offered to answer questions in classes, I asked out many coeds (and got shot down a LOT), I made myself a Senator in our Student Union as a freshman (through questionable legality, mua-ha-ha!). I wasn't as happy as I wanted to be so I also decided to smile as much as I could to make myself happier. At first I had to think of things to make me smile but eventually it came constant naturally.

I'm still not super out-going, but anyone who knew me as a tiny mute kid wouldn't recognize me today thanks to conscious changes I made in my outward personality.

Judging__Eagle · Post by **Judging__Eagle** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 2:17 am

Ugh, that bug-eyed stare would be creepy.

My eyes are just dark green. I'll post a pic when I get home tonight. I just look like hell from lack of sleep this week.

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 2:43 am

clikml wrote:As for modifying personality/charisma...

I had a similar experience growing up. I've become much less reserved in the past five years.

Count Arioch the 28th · Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:37 am

I don't change my personality for anything. No one on this planet is worth me changing to suit them. If you don't like me, FUCK YOU.

Oh, and on Eye contact: I do it when being introduced to someone for a bit, then relax a bit. In general, if someone's talking to me, I HAVE to look at them or I miss it, because I tend to be easily distractable.

Oh, and if it's business, I give strong eye contact and give a firm handshake without crushing fingers. I've observed that the business culture is just a civilized form of war, and it's in your best interest to show you're assertive without actually challenging anyone.

I generally don't try to push people around or anything, I don't consider myself to have the right to do so. However, some punk kid in a too-nice car did floor the accelerator when I was walking in front of him, spinning his wheels. I stopped right there and stared right at him. He meekly drove around me slowly after that. He's lucky he didn't hit me, I would have yanked him out through the window after punching through it.

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:59 am

Count: You have awesome manners for Urban or Rural (White) America.

^-^

Naw, you knew that, but it just sounded funnier in my head.

-Crissa

JonSetanta · Post by **JonSetanta** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 3:34 am

Crissa wrote:Eye contact is totally a social construct. In some cultures, eye-contact is rude, and in others, it's essential. So J-E would score highly in Urban (Black) America, whereas you'd score highly in Korea.

-Crissa

Cool. Yet, no, certain biological differences can not be changed. 20+ years of attempting to "fix that problem" have failed although I can fake voice intonation by imitating very, very well.
Interviews go well on the phone... fantastic, even... right up until a retail google-eye meets me for those first few minutes.

J_E: I'd probably be very uncomfortable talking with you in person unless you had some glasses on or at least accept that, whenever you spoke to me, I do something... like... turn away and continue listening.
I'm far from shy, and I'm quick to prove doubters otherwise; it's pretty much just the staring eyes... which are disturbingly common here. It's something that I tend to be more aware of than most others in the same area, and while they find excuses such as "creepy" or "just can't understand you" it hurts sometimes that such deep-set differences could be so obvious and yet at the same time so ignored.

OTOH, people like the Count and Frank are beyond help as far as core personality goes; maybe they're better with the eyes, hell maybe it doesn't bother them at all, but with an extended online record of verbal brutality.
Hit n run, man, hit n run. Rough life in the BBS hood.

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:57 am

sigma: Yeah, I know, they make medication for that.

Tho interviews have been going poorly for everyone right now. Highest unemployment since I was a child (and they counted more people).

-Crissa

Talisman · Post by **Talisman** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 6:23 am

Count_Arioch_the_28th wrote:However, some punk kid in a too-nice car did floor the accelerator when I was walking in front of him, spinning his wheels. I stopped right there and stared right at him. He meekly drove around me slowly after that. He's lucky he didn't hit me, I would have yanked him out through the window after punching through it.

When people tailgate me (and I'm not driving, which I rarely do) I like to turn around in my seat and stare blankly at them. They usually back off after 10 seconds or so.

It even works at night. I'm assuming if your headlights are flooding my car, you can see me staring at you.