It's Personal...

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 11:58 am

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:You guys are a lot more patient than my parents were. When I was 3 my parents would slap the piss out of me if I didn't give them the answer they wanted immediately. And the second time I wouldn't give the answer they wanted I got smacked with a yardstick a couple times.

I learned pretty quickly.

Note to self: don't beat daughters with yard stick, or they'll grow up like the Count. Although, Jane is pretty heavily into MLP, so I may inadvertently have some overlap with your parent's techniques.

Count Arioch the 28th · Tue Apr 23, 2013 12:14 pm

Most people my age got slapped with yardsticks when they were little where I grew up. I have had unique unique experiences and have to agree that not letting your kids go through most of it is very good advice.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 1:09 pm

I've never been slapped, but I was thrown out into a freezing, raging blizzard by my uncle once for being, quote, "a complete douchebag".

I was six at the time.

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 1:13 pm

Pretty clear who the complete douchebag was in that situation (hint: it wasn't you).

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 1:18 pm

I know that: the real douche was my uncle.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 2:59 pm

Is that your crazy uncle who I am convinced wants to kill me?

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:06 pm

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:23 pm

I thought that was the coolest card when I first saw it, both because of concept, and I thought the ability was super-powerful at the time.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Apr 23, 2013 4:52 pm

I was spanked as a kid. It didn't really teach me to not do things, it taught me to not get caught.

SlyJohnny · Post by **SlyJohnny** » Wed Apr 24, 2013 1:45 am

Me too. It doesn't appear to have made me a better person, but it has made me nervous, bitter, and resentful.

I think in my case it was applied inconsistently and mostly depended on what kind of foul mood my dad was in, but I'm seriously convinced it's just not a good discipline method. Everyone I've talked to who was hit as a kid is either the kind of person that can't say "I was hit as a kid and it didn't do ME no harm!" without everyone immediately begging to differ, or is someone that feels poorly about it now.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Apr 24, 2013 2:04 am

I don't necessarily think that spanking itself did me any harm.

Count Arioch the 28th · Wed Apr 24, 2013 2:15 am

The people I know who didn't get spanked are soft, scrubby weaklings who would probably drop dead if they actually had to do some work.

erik · Post by **erik** » Wed Apr 24, 2013 2:53 am

I know plenty of seemingly well-adjusted adults who consider the 'whuppings' they got as a kid an acceptable (even recommended) part of growing up. I don't know if I agree with them on level of force but they're out there.

As for corporeal punishment as a method of training children, I think it has its place. You don't need to inflict harm to make it effective. I've rapped my boys on the noggin as a part of their training (slightly more force than a pat on the head enough to be uncomfortable).

For example my oldest we seriously could not get him to eat and he was below the 1% bell curve for body weight at his height and it was a struggle to get him to eat. I made a deliberate plan to use force to train him to eat. I spent a single dining session of methodically counting down from 5 and giving him a light rap on his head when he hadn't taken a bite before the end of the count, I trained him to eat. It was like magic and very shortly thereafter the head raps were no longer necessary.

This was when his mind wasn't terribly developed and this was about the most complex bargaining he could understand. Nowadays threats of time outs or not being allowed to play with favored toys are the punishments of choice.

An important thing is to not use force out of anger, and never use enough force where you can actually cause harm. The little rap on the head would only be irritating to them if not for it coming with the admonition of mommy or daddy.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:33 pm

I was spanked as a kid, but not very often. A lot of why I don't have a problem with it was because my dad did it rarely, and he seemed fairly calm about it (as in, other than two exceptions, he didn't do it out of anger). It may have had a lot to do with me taking him more seriously as a discipline figure than my step mom, but I think most of that was him being fairly reasonable and level-headed, and her being somewhat batshit insane.

That being said, I'm loathe to spank my kids. This is mostly because I can get better results if I keep the problem from getting out of hand in the first place (it's almost always a result of her being ignored for too long), and when I've resorted to it, it always feels like it's out of desperation or anger, and I don't like that. I feel I can do far more good by staying on top of the situation in the first place.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Wed Apr 24, 2013 7:56 pm

My mom chased me around with various household implements - wooden spoons, spatulas, vacuum cleaners... Sometimes she'd hit something close by with them - she broke a few of the things she chased me with. But she never hit me with them.

I was an annoying little shit, though, so I totally get that.

The things that made me the most fearful of my mom were the looks of disappointment and the implication of failure. She had two particular lines that have always stuck with me...

When I would roll low on my search score, she'd always ask, "I'm I going to have to come in there and look for it?" For some reason, that always sent me into a second frenzy of searching - so much so that once I got stuck in the attic inside and under some very large boxes, and had to have someone come pull me out.

Another line was, "If I go to bat for you, what am I going to find out?" My mom never hesitated to step into her kids' lives when she thought that there was a problem, but she didn't want to step in to defend us only to find out that the reason I got a C in English was because I didn't turn in the final paper (It was actually because my teacher failed to write down the grade on my final paper). But when we were telling her the truth, there was no better person to have in our corner.

Count Arioch the 28th · Thu Apr 25, 2013 2:32 am

I wasn't ever allowed to say something is "lost". I had to keep searching until I found it. Even if that took weeks.

If I ever failed to complete a task, it wasn't because I didn't know how to or I wasn't good at it, it was because I was "lazy" and I was failing on purpose. I learned to stop asking how to do anything because the only instruction I got was "just do it and stop farting around". One time my dad beat my everloving ass and told me I was trying to kill the entire family because I didn't wash the dishes properly when I was 9 (Note that I had said I didn't know how to and had asked him before starting, he told me "just wash the fucking dishes" and walked out of the room). I didn't learn how to play any sport because if I couldn't throw the ball right or hit the ball my first time he would pound me saying that I was "fucking up on purpose so I can go inside and be lazy".

If it came out of my mouth, it was a lie as far as my mom was concerned. Regardless of what corroborating evidence existed, if she decided it wasn't right, it wasn't right. If something proved to her what I said was right, then it turned into she was the one saying it and I was saying the opposite. Her argument was "a mother is never wrong, the child is always wrong". Probably why I want to slap my friend who had kids and now want to act like moral authorities. Bitch, you just made your 3 year old son that you refuse to even try potty training sit in his own waste tied to a fucking chair for three hours and screamed at him every time he made a fucking sound, don't fucking tell me that you're a good fucking mother. (One of my exes, in case you couldn't assume based on who was saying it. I was told I potty-trained myself when I was a year old).

If I was getting beat on at school, I had no idea if my parents were going to kick my ass for being weak and letting them, or if they were going to go to the school and threaten to beat up kids and teachers randomly. And the teachers just wanted to not know what was happening and would punish me for saying anything (which encouraged them more). And if I reacted in any way or made any sound while I was getting a beating, the teachers would say I deserved it because "they only do it to get a reaction". I took so many beatings and was out and out molested by older boys on several occasions in complete silence because I would have been severely punished. I don't support gay rights because I'm a good person, I support them because I received more gay bullying than some of the homos I know and I do not want kids to have to go through what I did and come out as fucked up as I did as an adult.

I wasn't allowed to have any health problems. My erosive esophagitis was because "it was in my head that I needed to drink something and choke" and I was not allowed to drink anything when I ate (which I was already having difficulty swallowing even as a kid; as an adult I am amazed at how I consider coughing up blood and vomit multiple times during every meal is "normal". I guess you can get used to anything. Before anyone tells me to see a doctor, I'm on a waiting list to see a welfare doc; I don't have the money to see a real doctor and other than the emergency room, doctors only see you AFTER you put cash in their hand. Been on the list for four months and haven't even been given an appointment. I'm guessing a throat stricture and a bad heart isn't considered important, because my heart got me on the "accelerated" list).

I used to consider it my mission to have children and be a better parent than mine were. When I realized dating and marriage is just one of those things that takes more talent than I'll ever possess, it was a bit of a blow but honestly considering how much effort it took to simply make things suck slightly less I don't feel right bringing another life into this world. I had to work too hard to get the pile of shit I have and I have to work even harder to keep everyone from stealing everything the second I look away. I don't want anyone to have this life.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Thu Apr 25, 2013 4:01 am

Ouch.

---

My brother sent around a letter and hinted at the currently viral sorority letter {NSFW, Profanity}. He was afraid to link to it because my mom was in on the eMail, and thought she'd... something. Mom asked me to link her to it because she hadn't heard about it, and her response was lots of laughing and a request for me to tutor her in the proper usage of asshat. She has now added it to her vocabulary.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Apr 25, 2013 5:14 am

It is a very educational letter. It taught me the term "[EDITED] punt"

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Thu Apr 25, 2013 6:12 am

I like how the sorority's president has e-mailed asking the letter be taken down, or the names of the greek organizations involved be redacted.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Thu Apr 25, 2013 7:19 am

i like how a week is suddenly not one of 361 days in a year . .

Count Arioch the 28th · Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:11 pm

Cheezburger got her facebook feed. She brags a lot about participating in orgies, failing classes, doing nothing to get a job after college. She will probably be handed a better life than I could achieve at 110% effort and great personal sacrifice and I will never respect her.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:45 pm

But for three drinks and a crushed adderol, she could probably be yours for an evening. Get your shots first.

Count Arioch the 28th · Thu Apr 25, 2013 12:52 pm

Me? Yeah, right. Sluts know they can get rich dudes to buy them shit and don't waste time with my broke, awkward ass.

This is a really personal note, but I had to go the fuck off on a friend. You know how when you post a link to an image on Facebook it gives a small preview in your post? Well, for months every time I did it he bitched that it was too small and he couldn't see it, and I replied "It's a preview, click to see it". This went on for months until for a while, I turned off previews. He complained that he couldn't see the picture at all, at which point I told him to click the link to see it.

Well, he stopped for a while. Until he did it again last night. At which point I snapped and went the fuck off on him.

If he doesn't want to click the links, fucking fine. But stop bitching because you won't click them, that is not my fucking fault.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Thu Apr 25, 2013 5:50 pm

Heh.

Sorority bitch has been identified and has resigned out of Delta Gamma.

I'm sure someone has the pics of her taking it in the ass while funnelling Jack Daniels or some shit, so that won't take too long to hit the Internet.

Count Arioch the 28th · Thu Apr 25, 2013 7:00 pm

So, two more friends have managed to piss me off. One friend did a long post about how people who don't follow the christian god are rapists and thieves and need christians to rule over them (completely non-joking, also said that atheists live "like animals"). I managed to keep my temper under control but I made it quite clear that I was very close to many non-christians and that I was very angry that he said that. (Rant to expand on that later on).

Then another person I didn't know basically said that Obama should be impeached. I did not even bother to ask her to elaborate because I don't care. Bush wasn't impeached and he deserved it more than Obama (and considering this woman is a lesbian who is very vocal about the legal gay marriage thing, I don't know why giving power to the republicans is something she even wants to do. I get that Obama is unpopular, I don't think he's a good president either. But goddamn, until the republicans step out of crazy town we don't really have an alternative replacement to him. It really sucks, but sometimes you really DO have to support someone you dislike because the alternatives are worse.

Expanded rant:

I didn't tell my friend this because I'm trying very hard to be civil and use my words to express anger rather than screaming and ranting incoherently. I know that thanks to my heart issues, I get stupid when my heart beats fast and I get to the point where I can't string words together into coherent thoughts when pissed. But when I was going through my roughest patch yet the other year, here's how I got through it. The couple that helped me get shelter were atheists. The person making sure I got enough to eat was a jew. The person that helped me get into an actual home was pagan. The christians in my life... prayed. And had nothing else to do with me. You can preach to me all you want, but I remember who has done be good turns in the past. And I still remember being picked on and the most vocally christian teachers were the ones that did the least to protect me, while the atheist druggies and burnouts had my back when I was getting pounded. If Jesus comes to take my friends to hell, then Jesus is getting fucking cut if I have anything to say about it.