People Who Ruin Your Desire to Play

[zugschef]

People who say that they'd like more outside the box thinking because the rules don't let you do this or that. This goes hand in hand with crying about the potential ability of a melee character to one-round a boss-monster but not having a problem with SoDs.

[fectin]

"Outside the box thinking" requires rigid rules.
Dumbasses.

[erik]

I've gamed with more than a few buzz-harshers but don't feel the desire to detail their heinous habits at this time.

I'm most interested in the voices thing that K brought up and others reflected upon. Sometimes I do a voice for a character if I think it will be fun (I had a T'skrang that I voiced as the Chancellor from The Dark Crystal, "*I* will lead the party. MmmMMMmmm!") and that was well received. I've usually enjoyed it when other players do voices for characters too. Especially when the MC does voices for some NPCs since it helps us sort em out. The biggest difficulty for me is keeping the voice always on because it can wear a body out or be hard to keep straight as an MC.

I do sympathize with K since I've been at Living Greyhawk tables with irritating and bad voices and can only imagine the suffering if I had to deal with that at every session.

I hate that guy who always plays the same character.

* Exception: we're playing a very old-school game and your character died before reaching 2nd level.

Ahhh this stirs up memories of when I did this once.

I was playing a human rogue during my downward spiral of level 1 characters who kept dying since I had to keep rejoining the campaign at level 1. My character joined forces with the party as a separately hired private investigator who had a job to look into some fishy pirate business going on at the same location the party was searching. We hit a dead end in the basement of some building and for some reason one area stood out to me as an obvious place to put a secret door so I began searching there, and sure enough I found it! Unbeknown to me was that among the party was an NPC guide who apparently was secretly a pirate rogue trying to lead them astray and he took that moment to stab in the back the person nearest the secret door and run ahead to warn the pirates. Weapon+3d6 sneak attack+strength turned out to be more than my HP+10.

As we all considered this a bad beat, and not having another character on hand we agreed to retcon that my character's identical twin could show up since they'd planned to meet at this location to investigate the same thing that the PCs were. Nobody really thought about the implications of having my other character show up during the looting phase after the combat.

Tensions were a bit high as I stumbled upon the scene of the party looting my dead twin's body and I honestly had nothing worth looting except a hair ribbon that a PC fancied... so that's what I saw our elf putting in his hair. Somehow that situation was diffused and a pack of gnoll pirates descended upon us and I died again in the next 5 min despite trying to play it safe.

[Darth Rabbitt]

Most of the things listed so far don't particularly bother me.

Here's what does rustle my jimmies:
1. Players who go out of their way to slow things down.
2. Players using characters that split off from the rest of the party and require simultaneous MCing (see #1, above)
3. Players who don't pay attention to what's happening in the game (playing something on an iPhone or PSP during other players' turns after tactics have been discussed by the party doesn't bother me, but people doing that for the entire game does.
4. Players who call it quits in the middle of a session for little to no reason (emergencies or something of importance is understandable, but if it's just "I'm bored" or something trivial then it's really annoying.)

[Wiseman]

Players who can't be bothered to read the damn rules.

Once played with a character who refused to even read the rules, and therefore just made up things he did on the spot.

[Red_Rob]

People who refuse to even try to do a different voice for their character. I get not everyone enjoys the am-dram side of Roleplaying, but it's annoying to have to figure out what is in character and out of character. If you're not comfortable doing a voice at least change your intonation.

[zugschef]

1. Players who go out of their way to slow things down.

like people who never know what spells they have prepared or always have to look for their dice, and don't know the most basic statistics of their character even after the fifth time they come up.

2. Players using characters that split off from the rest of the party and require simultaneous MCing (see #1, above)

i remember that... one of my players wanted to have different goals than the party and go on solo missions, etc. all the time. it was really annoying like hell.

3. Players who don't pay attention to what's happening in the game (playing something on an iPhone or PSP during other players' turns after tactics have been discussed by the party doesn't bother me, but people doing that for the entire game does.

i know that all too well, too. smartphones really should be banned from gaming tables. they distract more than they are helpful (dice rolling apps, etc.).

4. Players who call it quits in the middle of a session for little to no reason (emergencies or something of importance is understandable, but if it's just "I'm bored" or something trivial then it's really annoying.)

T.H.I.S.
i've had this several times... session starts, after 5 minutes the GM says that he's not in the right mood and feels numb. session over.

[Whipstitch]

Don't think Legolas and Gimli, think... Legolas and Sauron.

Yeah, that's why usually tend to only run antagonistic characters in settings where conflicts aren't routinely solved with a broadsword to the face, and even then I shoot for odd couple or bickering sibling dynamics, not sabotage. For example, I purposely gave my Pretty Soldier Sailor Luna character just enough musical talent and competitive douche bag traits that we plausibly could have had a "TALENT SHOW RIVALS, GOOOO!!" scenario. But in Shadowrun? That stuff ends in car bombs and tears.

[crasskris]

People whose every character is a vindictive, betraying bitch that will derail play completely every time they or their characters are seemingly betrayed themselves (bonus points for preventive strikes for possible betrayals their character can't possibly know in-game).
I can live with people who see life as a war ground of elbows and carnage (usually by giving them a wide berth), but I'd like them not to translate that view into my escapism.

A lot less annoying, but still getting on my nerves are the actors: the guys and girls that are seemingly unable to abstract parts of a communication in a single sentence, but instead feel the need to say. every. fucking. line. (Again bonus points available: this time if they run into a misunderstanding in their little chats, clarify it OOC, and then repeat the whole conversation from the point it went wrong).

[crasskris]

i know that all too well, too. smartphones really should be banned from gaming tables. they distract more than they are helpful (dice rolling apps, etc.).

Not sure if I'd support such a ban; in my experience they keep the off-play banter of players not currently in the spotlight to a minimum, and few people pay attention to play all the time, anyway. Today's browser history is yesterday's character sheet encrusted in doodles.

What I do encourage at my table is smartphone discipline, though. Players are encouraged to take phones/laptops from fellow players who can't be bothered to focus on the game once their character is in spotline again.

[Whipstitch]

A lot less annoying, but still getting on my nerves are the actors: the guys and girls that are seemingly unable to abstract parts of a communication in a single sentence, but instead feel the need to say. every. fucking. line.

That's part of why I like how After Sundown has frank discussions on the usefulness of montages. It seems like a really obvious thing to do for old hands but for new players it can be super helpful to let everyone know that you can gloss through routine crap without shitting on everyone's evening.

[Stahlseele]

People who want to play the perfect "something something" AND THEN DON'T PLAY THEM AS SUCH!
So you did what?
you spent 3 fourths of your ressources to make sure you were really good at killing people from afar?
and then you decide to not do that but instead try mounted combat with stunts and melee weapons? THE HELL?
Or the professional merc . . who instead is portrayed as a vindictive and obsessive whiney bitch who can't keep business and personal apart?

and of course, a bad GM does ruin it for me too . .
if i have a character approved, i do not approve from sudden realizations of my character being able to do stuff he does not want my character to do and suddenly, oh, hey, new house rule that is 180° of the dirction from the official rules!

[CapnTthePirateG]

I hate that guy who always plays the same character. Similar, okay, fine; if you always want to play dwarves, whatever. If you always want to play wizards, okay. If you always want to play devotees of a fire god, that's fine, there are lots of fire gods and lots of ways to play that. But if I can see your face at the table and accurately predict that you are going to be playing a dwarven wizard who is a devotee of the fire god and uses exactly the same spells your identical character used in the last campaign, fvck off.

* Exception: you're playing the same actual character (i.e., we're intentionally re-using characters from earlier campaigns).

* Exception: we're playing a very old-school game and your character died before reaching 2nd level.

Eh, heh heh, guilty as charged. I like my drow necromancer dammit.

[darkmaster]

Let's not forget the DM who accepted your character, who you asked if they wanted you to change anything, and they said no, and they immediately attempt to kill off your character because they really didn't like what you had. Seriously that kind of DM can go and eat a dick.

[Koumei]

Don't think Legolas and Gimli, think... Legolas and Sauron.

Yeah, that's why usually tend to only run antagonistic characters in settings where conflicts aren't routinely solved with a broadsword to the face, and even then I shoot for odd couple or bickering sibling dynamics, not sabotage. For example, I purposely gave my Pretty Soldier Sailor Luna character just enough musical talent and competitive douche bag traits that we plausibly could have had a "TALENT SHOW RIVALS, GOOOO!!" scenario. But in Shadowrun? That stuff ends in car bombs and tears.

The problem here is with the two actual people. Last I knew, they were friends, but... shitty friends. They lived for trolling one another. Even their actual worldviews and philosophies clashed. So no matter the characters, they would end up fighting each other or sabotaging each others' efforts, because it's those players.

Another thing that really shits me: when the MC won't even put out a nice bottle of Merlot or a pot of lapsang souchong or something. I mean really, can't they make an effort?

Yes, that was just a joke.

[K]

I do sympathize with K since I've been at Living Greyhawk tables with irritating and bad voices and can only imagine the suffering if I had to deal with that at every session.

My hatred started with all of the girls who did baby-voices in Vampire/Werewolf/Changling games, but it was cemented in Living Greyhawk.

My quota of bad Scottish/dwarven accents has been filled for this lifetime and I can stand no more.

A little voice-work for NPCs and PCs is fine, but most people don't realize that their performance skills are not good enough to be passable for longer than two minutes and so it's not appropriate for PCs who are expected to talk a lot.

[Stubbazubba]

I also can't stand the "whacky" characters whose players find them endlessly entertaining, but no one else does. Seriously, a wizard who is just a host for the head-crab (later changed to head-lizard) attached to him (with the ever-convenient, ever-infuriating "My head-lizard made me do it, XD!). That would have been bearable except he had no idea what spells he had or what they did, and his every move had to pretty much be hand-fed to him by the rest of the party. Except, of course, for his head-lizard antics. I seriously considered having my Knight surgically remove said head-lizard, but he mercifully got the hint and changed chars before I got the chance.

But at least he threw himself into his character. In that same party we had a guy who made a female dwarf (or was it halfling? Something small and portly) whose defining character trait was how sexy she was. Every utterance had to do with that. The PC's actions were on scripts every round, so he could get back to his laptop ASAP. Couldn't be bothered to engage in any aspect of the game, just said, "I heal whoever's lowest" every turn in combat and said, "I'm so sexy you want to do what I want you to do," every time he was asked to say something outside of combat. That and the fact that his character was a gag, albeit a mechanically useful gag (played a Tome White Mage, IIRC).

Interacting with either of those chars or players was just maddening.

[Artless]

I've only ever wanted to halt a game that was already underway because of an uninvited addition. I think I tend to accept new frustrations or unwanted pressures with patience and a modicum of stoicism, but I really, really don't like meeting new people. Especially if that introduction takes place in a fairly vulnerable situation for me. Having to present a beloved past-time to someone I've likely never even met, or only ever had the smallest of interaction with, feels like being forced to show your parents a hall closet full of weird, borderline illegal fetish porn. Even and especially the ones you have "paraphernalia" for.

On nights like that I bring something else to play like Arcana or Cards Against Humanity.

Otherwise, I've had a fairly plain continuum of players, with little in the way of troublesome archetypes or irksome behaviors. I don't know if that means I'm being set up for a monster some time in the future or if I'm actually just fortunate. If anything, I'm the biggest asshole about games I know, and I attribute that to specific, long-pondered preferences. And all that manifests as is me saying a system sucks because of something or another thing, and then playing it anyway because that's what the current MC is running.

[Desdan_Mervolam]

Huh? You're afraid someone's going to judge you unfairly on first impression, so your solution is to switch from D&D to Cards Against Humanity?

[Ted the Flayer]

Before leaving my last apartment my roommate kept inviting people to the game that were actual criminals because he has the hots for thugs. And every time I tried to boot them he would invite them back. And at least one of them was very vocally pro-rape. And a week after they stopped coming over I realized my camera was missing.

[Wrathzog]

Cell Phone Guy - Are you using like a D&D Helper App? No, then put the god damn thing away and pay attention. No one actually enjoys having to retread exposition or explain what happened in the Entire last round of combat. IF YOU CAN TROLL REDDIT FOR IMAGE MACROS YOU CAN FUCKING TAKE NOTES YOUR GOD DAMN SELF AND DONT FUCKING GET PISSY WHEN PEOPLE CALL YOU OUT ON YOUR SHIT.

Gokus and Krillins - Anyone who brings a character to the table that does not fall within Standard Deviation of party power levels. You either end up with the guy who carries everyone else in every encounter or you have a guy that dies all the fucking time. Either way, it's bad for the entire group.

RAW Lawyer - This guy is more than willing to argue over ever little word in every rule if it may possibly positively or negatively impact him, ignore Errata except when it's beneficial, take Customer service seriously at all, start debates in the middle of a fight, etc, etc... just stop trying to squeeze water out of rocks, it's silly.

[Artless]

Huh? You're afraid someone's going to judge you unfairly on first impression, so your solution is to switch from D&D to Cards Against Humanity?

Of course. I fail to see the problem.

[icyshadowlord]

Let's not forget the DM who accepted your character, who you asked if they wanted you to change anything, and they said no, and they immediately attempt to kill off your character because they really didn't like what you had. Seriously that kind of DM can go and eat a dick.

Story of my life.

Then there's my former DM, who has always made sure every NPC in existence treats all my characters like shit regardless of race, class or alignment as well as occasionally making me take damage for traps that I already spotted and other bullshit. To top that all off, he doubled the hostility when I had the audacity to ask him if I can play something like a holstaur paladin instead of the typical boring human paladin.

If I met him again, I'd probably beat the shit outta him with a verbal crowbar. I'm tired of seeing how everyone else is having fun playing D&D when my first experiences with the game usually fill me with more rage than joy, with the exception of that one campaign where Koumei was the MC. Thankfully my current group is fine aside from lacking proper RP skills.

Had to edit this a few times for added content and coherency.

[Grek]

I do most of my D&D online now days, so the thing that annoys me most is people who sign up for a campaign and then show up for maybe one session in five, but still insist on getting a share of the loot, XP, etc. and for us to explain everything they've missed over the last month.

[Atmo]

Let's not forget the DM who accepted your character, who you asked if they wanted you to change anything, and they said no, and they immediately attempt to kill off your character because they really didn't like what you had. Seriously that kind of DM can go and eat a dick.

Story of my life.

Then there's my former DM, who has always made sure every NPC in existence treats all my characters like shit regardless of race, class or alignment as well as occasionally making me take damage for traps that I already spotted and other bullshit. To top that all off, he doubled the hostility when I had the audacity to ask him if I can play something like a holstaur paladin instead of the typical boring human paladin.

If I met him again, I'd probably beat the shit outta him with a verbal crowbar. I'm tired of seeing how everyone else is having fun playing D&D when my first experiences with the game usually fill me with more rage than joy, with the exception of that one campaign where Koumei was the MC. Thankfully my current group is fine aside from lacking proper RP skills.

Had to edit this a few times for added content and coherency.

In my first RPG/D&D group my characters where killed like flies on a volcano blast just because that damned GM said, everytime, that he was useless, bad and poor of mind. Man, i already know you sucks, but can you stop killing every character i make?

That was my fresh start, and i didn't stopped. The second group was worst than that: they killed my characters propositaly and laughed on my face when i was still there confused of what happened.

I do most of my D&D online now days, so the thing that annoys me most is people who sign up for a campaign and then show up for maybe one session in five, but still insist on getting a share of the loot, XP, etc. and for us to explain everything they've missed over the last month.

Nowadays i play online, too. It's better and more comfortable, and we keep game logs for various reasons (one of them is crying about how my group was bigger one year earlier).