Moments when a piece of entertainment completely lost you.

CapnTthePirateG · Post by **CapnTthePirateG** » Sun Aug 07, 2016 12:08 am

You guys missed the justification of African slavery (by the old "civilizing them" terribad argument), the Doom Chicken, Bill and Hillary Clinton dying of aids, nipple magic, the Evil Sports Team, and so much more!

Note: I'm not making any of this up.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Sun Aug 07, 2016 5:02 am

CapnTthePirateG wrote:You guys missed the justification of African slavery (by the old "civilizing them" terribad argument), the Doom Chicken, Bill and Hillary Clinton dying of aids, nipple magic, the Evil Sports Team, and so much more!

Note: I'm not making any of this up.

Well, let's make a "Ways Sword of Truth is Bad" thread then. Because I remember some of that.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sun Aug 07, 2016 5:17 am

Not quite a lost me, but it feels more appropriate to post here than "rocked me."

Saw Suicide Squad last night. It was perfectly entertaining, but I wouldn't call it good. I mean, it's a continuation of the trend of DC having mediocre feature films and really good animated stuff (Assault on Arkham is awesome).

I've heard that the director had a more gritty, serious vision for the movie, and the executives wanted something more screwy and funny (because Deadpool), so there were two cuts of the movie, and they tried to cut them together at the last minute.

This resulted in an ok premise-

Amanda Waller assembles the Suicide Squad, including an ancient metahuman witch possessing an archaeologist. The squad as bomb implants, except the witch, who is controlled through Waller having the witch's heart, and a subordinate soldier in love with the archaeologist.

The witch, of course, manages to get free of Waller's control and unleash her brother, and they become the big bads, ravaging Midway City, and setting up a glowy ring of trash to do something bad with.

-but a shitty execution. The movie basically ends up being "Deadshot argues with a soldier, Harley is crazy, and, oh yeah, there are like four or five other guys there."

But it was entertaining. Will Smith made a good Deadshot, Margot Robbie made a good Harley, whoever played Diablo did a good job. Killer Croc was definitely Killer Croc when the movie remembered he was there.

Jared Leto was a shitty Joker, but he's a shitty person, and Joker was there for a total of 10 minutes, I think.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Sun Aug 07, 2016 5:58 am

I think "The Suicide Squad is formed to solve a problem that didn't exist before they were formed, and then them solving the problem that was only created by their existence is a resounding success (instead of a great reason to push the button that blows them all up)." is a terrible premise.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sun Aug 07, 2016 6:05 am

Well... More like "The Suicide Squad is formed to solve potential metahuman problems, and their first mission is to solve one that was created by the hubris of the person that put them together."

Waller forms the squad, and uses Enchantress as her selling point by having her teleport into Tehran and back with a binder of Tehran military weapon experiments or something. I'm guessing that Enchantress doesn't get the bomb implant due to either her teleportation abilities, or something to do with the fact that she's a spirit possessing an otherwise normal, and innocent, person. Because Enchantress is kept in line with possession of her heart and the manipulation of her lover, she's able to subvert that control. The Squad was already formed and approved, they just get mobilized to deal with it.

Then again, I might be giving them to much credit thinking it was in anyway an intentional commentary on Waller's hubris.

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Sun Aug 07, 2016 7:14 am

Haven't seen it yet, but that's a pretty huge failure of storytelling. The way you tell a Suicide Squad story is that you have a bad thing happen that is worse than what the various villains would be up to. Then you send the Suicide Squad in. Then one of the members of the Squad betrays the team to the bigger villain. Then the remaining members of the squad get cut off from backup / oversight and go on to save the day anyway.

This is not fucking hard. Apparently WB was able to keep their main villain a secret so long because their plot so failed the basics of storytelling that no one fucking believed that they were going with something that dumb even when told.

I guess that movie goes on the "watch when drunk" pile.

-Username17

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Sun Aug 07, 2016 12:45 pm

Kaelik wrote:I think "The Suicide Squad is formed to solve a problem that didn't exist before they were formed, and then them solving the problem that was only created by their existence is a resounding success (instead of a great reason to push the button that blows them all up)." is a terrible premise.

Well, the suicide Squad is formed to kill people in Iran. The entire point is to do international dirty work that can't be linked back to America Therefore you employ supervillains who are well know to either be mercenaries (deadshot, Katana) or crazy people who flip out and kill people for absolutely no reason (Harley, Croc) therefore if they get caught the blame can be deflected (ISIS hired them) or (They just flipped and and started killing people in Iran for no reason).

FrankTrollman wrote:Haven't seen it yet, but that's a pretty huge failure of storytelling. The way you tell a Suicide Squad story is that you have a bad thing happen that is worse than what the various villains would be up to. Then you send the Suicide Squad in. Then one of the members of the Squad betrays the team to the bigger villain. Then the remaining members of the squad get cut off from backup / oversight and go on to save the day anyway.

This is not fucking hard. Apparently WB was able to keep their main villain a secret so long because their plot so failed the basics of storytelling that no one fucking believed that they were going with something that dumb even when told.

I guess that movie goes on the "watch when drunk" pile.

-Username17

That's not really how you do a Suicide Squad movie. Because the iconic Suicide Squad run, Ostrander's, was extremely political. The Suicide Squaqd aren't the guys who save the world. They're the guys who airdrop into Russia and kill Edward Snowden.

Their job is to advance America's interests by doing horribly immoral and illegal things that the CIA eel rape guys would balk at.

Longes · Post by **Longes** » Sun Aug 07, 2016 6:29 pm

Prak, I'd have to argue that pretty much everyone who isn't Will Smith was crap in Suicide Squad. And it's not the actors' fault, their lines are just terrible and the action is meh.

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Sun Aug 07, 2016 7:48 pm

I think the only superhero movie trailer that's excited me recently was Wonder Woman. I actually saw Deadpool, but walked away feeling surprisingly let down. I don't know... Maybe I'm broken.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sun Aug 07, 2016 8:25 pm

Longes wrote:Prak, I'd have to argue that pretty much everyone who isn't Will Smith was crap in Suicide Squad. And it's not the actors' fault, their lines are just terrible and the action is meh.

That's a fair argument. It's not like El Diablo got much to do overall, and, oh holy fuck is that version of El Diablo stereotypical. Harley was Harley. She ran around being quirky and cute and had a Team ... Cool Big Sister moment? It's hard to call the bartending scene a Team Mom moment. Margot Robbie did a good job with what she was given, which included a lot of crap, like an outfit she was super uncomfortable wearing, reportedly.

The big failing of the movie was too much focus on the soldiers and not enough focus on the team overall. It's fucking Suicide Squad, not Deadshot and His Hangers On. I'm pretty sure Croc got fewer lines than I have fingers. On a single hand. Seriously, they should have removed the "If my soldier subordinate dies, you die" line Waller gave them, and had the military escort killed off early into the mission to leave the Squad on their own.

I'd really like to see either of the original versions that were cut together to make that thing.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Mon Aug 08, 2016 9:32 pm

hyzmarca wrote: That's not really how you do a Suicide Squad movie.

It is if you want to have a blockbuster franchise instead of something that will simultaneously upset the general public and disappoint edgelords. These studios obviously do not have the patience or faith in the audience to try and make the show into some kind of espionage satire, political thriller or outright comedy and with those options off the board you're left with a straight ahead Anti-Heroes vs. Irredeemable Villain scenario. FFS, they hired Will Smith. That's basically admitting right there that Deadshot will in fact be a good guy by the end of the film.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Sep 16, 2016 9:36 pm

What do you guys think of American Horror Story? I watched Murder House, Freak Show, and some of Coven.

To my mind, Coven was the closest it ever really got to a horror story, but that's because I think horror needs some kind of supernatural, or at least fantastic, element to be horror. Yes, this means I don't consider Saw, for instance, horror, I suppose, but... well, yeah, if I examine Saw with that criteria, it ain't horror. Admittedly, Murder House had sexy ghosts and nagging zombie ghosts, but... when the supernatural is so mundane (seducing your husband, nagging him about burying them under the gazebo), i find it hard to call horror, too.

Everything else basically seems to come down to ableist or sexist fears. I mean, sure, the original Freaks movie is a classic of the genre, but... it's still based in ableism.

And the new season is about Roanoke, I guess? With a framing device of a "no shit guys, this happened!" documentary. And bumpkin pig men, or something? I don't know, all I've seen is reviews that confirm my view that their season promos and theme song montages are better horror than the actual show.

angelfromanotherpin · Post by **angelfromanotherpin** » Fri Sep 16, 2016 9:57 pm

I thought Murder House started out with a nice understated creepiness, but finished very campy for no clear reason. I only saw a few episodes of Asylum, which didn't look bad but leaned kind of heavily on outdated insanity tropes - I wonder if it also had a fatal tone shift towards the end. I think I only saw the first episode of Coven, but I lost interest because it seemed way less like witches than it did like an uninteresting X-Men spinoff. I was never motivated to look at it again.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:16 am

Does the Luke Cage netflix series ever stop spinning its wheels or should I just go ahead and bail out halfway? This shit feels like it's going nowhere.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 9:22 am

angelfromanotherpin wrote:I thought Murder House started out with a nice understated creepiness, but finished very campy for no clear reason. I only saw a few episodes of Asylum, which didn't look bad but leaned kind of heavily on outdated insanity tropes - I wonder if it also had a fatal tone shift towards the end. I think I only saw the first episode of Coven, but I lost interest because it seemed way less like witches than it did like an uninteresting X-Men spinoff. I was never motivated to look at it again.

It seems like the closest AHS ever got to being horror is humans being bastards. That's not scary in the sense needed for something to be a "horror movie." I dunno, maybe I'm just too jaded and/or weird for horror movies to really be "scary" or even "creepy."

Now that Channel Zero: Candle Cove is on SyFy, I have something to compare AHS to, they're both "horror stories on basic cable channels after the watershed(?)." CHCC actually has some creepiness to it, and it seems to have something supernatural going on. Hell, there's actually a really awesome premise going on about a kids show with weird creepy puppets that aired a handful of episodes twenty years ago on thte dead channels at the end of the dial that adults literally couldn't see, and is airing again as weird shit starts happening with kids. So you've got a nice take on arcane medium/forbidden knowledge with some Adult Fear, and a bit of supernatural spookiness.

Now, I'm not exactly lying awake scared by the dark because of CZCC, but at least it is sort of creepy. AHS was only ever "I know this sexy seductive maid is a ghost that sometimes looks like a 90 year old house frau" uncomfortable. Or "Jesus christ on a crutch the *mumblefurfles* were a shitty time to be not a straight white male!" uncomfortableness. ...with maybe a hint of "damn, I wish we could see mister conman's apparently gigantic dick..."

RE: Luke Cage- How far in are you? It does take a good few episodes to really get going anywhere. Bingewatching and pretty damned good music helped.

Count Arioch the 28th · Wed Oct 19, 2016 11:03 am

Prak wrote: Now that Channel Zero: Candle Cove is on SyFy

I'm going to be blunt and say I'm already skeptical when I hear they made a series based of an old internet creepypasta.

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:58 pm

Whipstitch wrote:Does the Luke Cage netflix series ever stop spinning its wheels or should I just go ahead and bail out halfway? This shit feels like it's going nowhere.

If you enjoy the music you can watch it in the background while doing something else like work, reading an RPG book, building an MtG deck, etc. The 'tone' of the series doesn't change as it goes on so if you don't really like it there's just more of the same.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 1:47 pm

I'm five episodes in to Luke Cage. I didn't realize how much I liked the the music until recently. I'm enjoying the series so far. They're starting to reference the other shows, and I'm wondering if I should finish up S2 of Daredevil and/or start Jessica Jones (I've heard nothing but good things).

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:17 pm

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:
Prak wrote: Now that Channel Zero: Candle Cove is on SyFy
I'm going to be blunt and say I'm already skeptical when I hear they made a series based of an old internet creepypasta.

Well, they made a game based on Slenderman...

Two episodes in and I'm enjoying it.

Blicero · Post by **Blicero** » Fri Oct 21, 2016 3:29 am

OgreBattle wrote: If you enjoy the music you can watch it in the background while doing something else like work, reading an RPG book, building an MtG deck, etc.

The issue then is that you have to pay more attention to the dialog.

The 'tone' of the series doesn't change as it goes on so if you don't really like it there's just more of the same.

I feel like the tone of the series changed a lot once the secondary main villain (do people actually like this show enough to care about plot spoilers? was anyone actually invested in the plot?) showed up. YMMV I guess.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Oct 21, 2016 3:35 am

Oh definitely. Once they got past Cottonmouth and started letting Diamondback be the driving antagonist, it shifted tone dramatically.

Also in one of the last few episodes there's a good scene with a couple kids holding up a convenience store when one of them realizes the customer they're holding up with the store clerk is Method Man and starts being a starstruck fan in the middle of the robbery.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Fri Oct 21, 2016 5:18 am

Luke Cage spoilers ahead.

I finished the series but overall I think I was right to crap on the pacing. I think the problem is that they outsmarted themselves by structuring the first half of the series as a slow escalation that pivots to Mariah as the de facto biggest bad. Mariah is a decent character played by an even better actress but Cage himself isn't terribly dynamic* and they cut off Cottonmouth at the knees by putting him in over his head and making him only a reluctant contributor to the murder of Pops. That Cage-Stokes feud simply didn't have enough heat to keep things interesting until Mariah & Diamondback were ready to take center stage and the series suffered for it.

*This is a minor nitpick, but I also didn't think he was all that likeable in the first few episodes. Whether it's about Crispus Attucks or basketball he seems to monologue more than converse and I also felt like he seemed kinda douchey when first interacting with Misty. A lot of the sympathy I had for the character had to be imported in from Jessica Jones and that's not ideal for your main character.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Oct 21, 2016 7:29 am

Yeah, one of the big problems is Luke just wants to be left alone. This in itself isn't too big a problem, because protagonists in general are pretty reactive, but Luke wants to be left alone, and to stay out of it, so much that he basically needs an anvil dropped on him to get him to actually react.

Post by **fbmf** » Fri Oct 21, 2016 11:20 am

[quote="BlicerO]n (do people actually like this show enough to care about plot spoilers? was anyone actually invested in the plot?).[/quote]

Yes. Use spoiler tags.
[/The Great Fence Builder Speaks]

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 2:39 am

O.A.F.E. and yo have set a fire in my bonnet. He claimed that Transformers are too expensive to keep buying, because yo doesn't understand how economics works, so they won't be doing their Transformers Tuesday's anymore. Worse yet, they're being replaced by reviews of Gundam action figures. Gundam should never have to replace Transformers. Sadness.