Let's Play Fighting Fantasy #5: City of Thieves

[Username17]

Disagree. The Black Door asked us if we wanted to go loot the White Room if we hadn't already, the White Room didn't mention that for the Black room. So he Black Room is probably Death No Save nonsense and we should just go upstairs.

-Username17

[Dr_Noface]

I vote upstairs! Also, that mummy went out like a punk.

[Darth Rabbitt]

On the next landing there is a door with a black tower carved in ebony attached to it. There is also a black suit of armor standing outside the door. Will you:

Inspect the suit of armor?
Open the door?
Carry on up the stairs?

[Dr_Noface]

That armour is going to come to life. I feel it in my sword.

[Ikeren]

Inspect the armor! It's probably magical!

[Darth Rabbitt]

There is a battle-axe held in the iron-plated glove of the armor.

Do you wish to take the battle-axe or push the suit of the armor to the floor to make sure it is not a booby-trap?

[Korgan0]

Push it to the floor, then grab the axe.

[Dr_Noface]

Just wreck the entire place up

[Darth Rabbitt]

The suit of armor breaks up as it crashes on to the floor. It is no threat to you and you may either open the door in front of you or walk back to the staircase and climb up to the next floor.

(Apparently the axe broke too, as we can't take it.)

[Dr_Noface]

Climb.

[Darth Rabbitt]

The staircase ends at a door. You turn the handle slowly and the door opens, much to your surprise, into open air. You walk outside on to the flat roof of the tower. Suddenly you are aware of movement in the sky and look up to see two large birds in the moonlight with long beaks and sharp talons. There is no time to run for cover, and you must fight the DEATH HAWKS.

First DEATH HAWK SKILL 4 STAMINA 5
Second DEATH HAWK SKILL 4 STAMINA 4

Fight them one at a time.

Combat Log:

Hawk A 8, Dirk 22. Hawk A is at 3.
Hawk A 11, Dirk 24. Hawk A is at 1.
Hawk A 8, Dirk 20. Hawk A is dead.
Hawk B 8, Dirk 18. Hawk B is at 2.
Hawk B 13, Dirk 24. Hawk B is dead.

You sit down to rest and plan what to do next. As you slump down on the cold stone floor, you inadvertently knock down a glass jar you hadn't seen before, which rolls against the wall and shatters. From the broken jar a small man some fifteen centimeters high looks up at you with his hands on his hips and in a barely audible voice says, "Thank you very much. I've been trapped in that infernal jar for the last hundred years. Now how can I repay you?"

Do you want to ask the whereabouts of Zanbar Bone or ask if he can heal some of your wounds?

(We have no wounds to heal, so we ask for Zanbar Bone's whereabouts by default.)

The tiny man smiles and says, "Ah well, if that's all you want, then that's simple enough. He's on the fourth floor in the room with the black door. Then he waves his arms at you and disappears in a small puff of smoke. You stand up and walk back down the stairs to the floor where there two doors adjacent to each other on the landing. You breathe deeply and turn the handle of the black door.

(Presumably the black door wasn't mentioned in the white room because the BBEG is in there and the adventure ends whether you win or lose against him.)

You open the door and enter a room which is adorned with macabre objects and paintings. A black cat is sitting in front of a table covered in black cloth. Two black candles are burning on either side of a mirror on the far wall. On the table lies an open chest containing a gold skull. Will you:

Walk over to the chest?
Close the door and open the white door (if you have not done so already?)
Close the door and walk back to the staircase to climb up to the next floor?

(The only thing we haven't done is walk over to the chest so we're doing it.)

(We are wearing the Ring of the Golden Eye.)

A voice in your mind tells you that the chest is an illusion and does not exist. Also you see that the black cat is not what you thought it was. Before you stands a black-robed skeleton with green, translucent eyes, wearing a golden crown on its skull - Zanbar Bone! Before you have time to notch your arrow, the Night Prince pulls three teeth from his mouth and throws them on to the floor. They explode in puffs of smoke and out of the step three SKELETONS armed with swords. Fight them one at a time:

First SKELETON SKILL 6 STAMINA 7
Second SKELETON SKILL 8 STAMINA 6
Third SKELETON SKILL 7 STAMINA 7

Combat Log:

Skelly A 14, Dirk 23. Skelly A is at 5.
Skelly A 11, Dirk 22. Skelly A is at 3.
Skelly A 14, Dirk 17. Skelly A is at 1.
Skelly A 13, Dirk 18. Skelly A is dead.
Skelly B 17, Dirk 22. Skelly B is at 4.
Skelly B 17, Dirk 24. Skelly B is at 2.
Skelly B 16, Dirk 21. Skelly B is dead.
Skelly C 15, Dirk 21. Skelly C is at 5.
Skelly C 11, Dirk 22. Skelly C is at 3.
Skelly C 14, Dirk 20. Skelly C is at 1.
Skelly C 15, Dirk 21. Skelly C is dead.

Zanbar Bone walks towards you, trying to touch your exposed skin. You throw down your sword and notch the silver arrow to your bow. You have only one chance. You take aim and release the bow-string. Test your Luck. (2, 2 =4, Lucky!) The arrow finds its mark and pierces the Night Prince through his robed chest.

The Night Prince is paralyzed, but not for long. He can summon unearthly powers to defend himself, and you must act quickly. What compound will you rub into his eyes? Will you try:

Hag's hair and black pearls?
Black pearls and lotus flower?
Lotus flower and Hag's hair?

(Holy shit, guys, this is the moment of truth. Should we go with my suggestion of Lotus flower and Hag's hair, or do you think otherwise? It's all up to you to determine the course of Dirk's battle against the Night Prince.)

[Korgan0]

Lotus flower and Hag's hair.

[Ikeren]

This is amazing! Lotus flower and Hag's hair gets my vote, though I love there is a "final moment, 33% chance of failure fuck you" right at the end.

[Username17]

It has to be hair and flower because those are the only thing we have one of. If it was pearl and X and we mixed pearl and Y, there would be no reason we couldn't just use another pearl with the other one and succeed instead of fail. So for it to be a true "if you mixed it wrong, you lose", the correct answer has to be made of two unique items.

Not of course that there was any reason we couldn't have taken two lotus flowers or two locks of hair, but the book didn't have us do that. So by the internal logic of the book, it has to be the one lock of hair and the one flower that we mix together.

My goodness that's a stupid "puzzle". You can only solve it by metagaming. Speaking of puzzles solved by metagaming, how about the goblet "puzzle"? If you took Goblet A or Goblet C, what happens?

-Username17

[OgreBattle]

So basically from Zanbar's perspective, we opened the door to his room, stood there for a bit, closed the door, then he would have heard us open the white door, and possibly the sound of a mummy burning, and then we walk back here wearing the ring the mummy had that lets us see Zanbar as he is, and shoot him with an arrow.

[Username17]

So basically from Zanbar's perspective, we opened the door to his room, stood there for a bit, closed the door, then he would have heard us open the white door, and possibly the sound of a mummy burning, and then we walk back here wearing the ring the mummy had that lets us see Zanbar as he is, and shoot him with an arrow.

You're forgetting the part where we walked upstairs and pushed furniture over a couple of times and totally messed up the place before coming back down to get with the chest stabbing.

Also, this may be a fairly minor point, but did we at any point in this grand adventure actually get a bow?

-Username17

[OgreBattle]

So basically from Zanbar's perspective, we opened the door to his room, stood there for a bit, closed the door, then he would have heard us open the white door, and possibly the sound of a mummy burning, and then we walk back here wearing the ring the mummy had that lets us see Zanbar as he is, and shoot him with an arrow.

You're forgetting the part where we walked upstairs and pushed furniture over a couple of times and totally messed up the place before coming back down to get with the chest stabbing.

Also, this may be a fairly minor point, but did we at any point in this grand adventure actually get a bow?

-Username17

We went into the woods and found a yew tree and chopped a branch off and carved it into a bow because that is totally how bows are made. Then the dove came and we killed an ape and took his nightvision talisman.

[Red_Rob]

It didn't say at any point that hallucinogenic mushrooms were involved, but I think that's pretty much a given.

[Darth Rabbitt]

Congratulations -you have killed Zanbar Bone, the infamous Night Prince. He decays before your eyes, becoming nothing more than a small pile of powder on the floor.

You leave Zanbar Bone's black tower as quickly as you can, not wishing to spend another moment in the infernal place. Before leaving, however, you set it alight so that no evil entity may ever again use it for foul deeds. You sleep the rest of the night and long into the next morning in a hayfield, before setting off for Silverton in the afternoon. Battle-weary and hungry, you arrive in Silverton the same evening. You are given a hero's welcome and gift after gift is bestowed upon you. A feast is arranged and there is laughter, music and drinking in all the streets. Finally, Owen Carralif makes a speech and presents you with a gold orb worth hundreds of Gold Pieces. The people of Silverton are joyous once again.

(FUCK YEAH)

[Darth Rabbitt]

And now comments, questions, and concerns.

I love there is a "final moment, 33% chance of failure fuck you" right at the end.

It's actually a 67% chance of failure (the 33% is the success rate,) which only makes your point stronger.

My goodness that's a stupid "puzzle". You can only solve it by metagaming. Speaking of puzzles solved by metagaming, how about the goblet "puzzle"? If you took Goblet A or Goblet C, what happens?

Looking it up in the book, Goblet C turns into a hot coal (-2 SKILL, -2 LUCK) and Goblet A has a scorpion underneath it (Luck Test, no damage if Lucky, -4 STAMINA, -1 SKILL if Unlucky.)

My own opinion: I loved the first 1/3 of the book, with the breaking in to everyone's homes, stabbing them in the face, and taking their stuff. The second third is just a bald-faced fetch quest, but it has its own retro charm to it. Port Blacksand in general is a pretty cool place. The part after you leave the city (and right before, with the inexplicably mutually exclusive plum-boy and tattoo parlor) seems to have a lot of fake, forced difficulty (the whole "you only need 2 of the ingredients," but if you only managed to get 2 in the first place it's Game Over... where is the message then? But mostly just the suddenly needing only 2 of them without any hint as to which is which without metagaming.) Also, the two Moon Dogs, while mysteriously named after a Good outsider in D&D, are ridiculously strong (for people who are not Dirk von Facestabber III) and kind of spit in the face of "The one true way involves a minimum of risk and any player, no matter how weak on initial dice rolls, should be able to get through fairly easily." Plus the whole needing another magic item located in the tower in order to not be auto-killed by Zanbar Bone, plus a LUCK test, plus a large chance of auto-failure is really lame.

So it's currently 5 for Island of the Lizard King and 5 for Citadel of Chaos. Next vote gets it, and the one that wins will probably be started up tonight.

[Ancient History]

Citadel of Chaos was my first FF book. I had just gone to a new school and a kid there had a ratty copy that he gave me in exchange for my taco. Best swap ever.

[Username17]

So metagaming all the challenges really does make you win? Like seriously, we metagamed that black room, we metagamed the goblets, we metagamed the final powder grinding "challenge", and it all worked. And the metagame choice in each case was simply "The author is trying to bone you, so when offered a one in three chance, always pick as if the author has gone one step into a Wine In Front Of Me argument, because he has". So if there was a genuine RPS choice, the correct choice would obviously be scissors.

-Username17

[Darth Rabbitt]

So metagaming all the challenges really does make you win?

Yep, it totally does.

Ian Livingstone can come up with some fairly interesting scenarios for Fighting Fantasy books, and is the co-creator of both the series and Games Workshop, but is usually not that good at the game design portion.

The other co-creator of Fighting Fantasy, UK Steve Jackson, is better at the latter (as is the US Steve Jackson, creator of Munchkin and GURPS, who wrote a few books in the series.)

In the Time Lord OSSR thread I mentioned my raging man-crush on Peter Darryl-Evans and his work on the series.

A lot of the more fun and innovative titles are actually written by the guys they hired to write books after they mostly ran out of ideas.

[OgreBattle]

I feel bad for that vampire babe, she just cowered in the corner as we killed everyone in her house, then burned her house down with her in it. If only there was an item to make her good and our girlfriend...


Oh hey, what would've happened if we just took a nap in the comfy bed room?

[Username17]

I'm looking forward to the next magic email we get from Dr. Nico when he tells us that he was totally trolling us with the forehead unicorn and just wanted to see if we would do it.

-Username17