Annoying Questions I'd Like Answered...

Count Arioch the 28th · Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:37 pm

Not to mention we have animals like Pandas and Koalas who ran out of fucks to give and decided to eat one specific thing regardless of how stupid it is.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 8:21 pm

Also, predatory behavior is just a subset of aggressive behavior, and you can find the odd aggressive animal out there who just happens to be a herbivore who can bite like a motherfucker. Like hippos.

Count Arioch the 28th · Wed Sep 03, 2014 8:30 pm

Whipstitch wrote:Also, predatory behavior is just a subset of aggressive behavior, and you can find the odd aggressive animal out there who just happens to be a herbivore who can bite like a motherfucker. Like hippos.

Large herbivores in general are aggressive most of the time. If a large herbivore evolved into sentient life, they'd be more likely to be like the Krogan rather than like the Ithorians.

Pixels · Post by **Pixels** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 8:50 pm

Hippos are the extreme example, but there are a lot of herbivores with nasty bites. Plants are often tough and fibrous, and require no small jaw strength to rip and chew. I am in no hurry to get bitten by a horse, or even a rabbit.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Wed Sep 03, 2014 10:25 pm

i was bitten by a horse once, that was a very traumatic experience for a small little fry like i was back then <.<

angelfromanotherpin · Post by **angelfromanotherpin** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 2:22 am

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:Not to mention we have animals like Pandas and Koalas who ran out of fucks to give and decided to eat one specific thing regardless of how stupid it is.

I don't know what the story is with how Pandas came to switch their diet from meat to bamboo, but the theory for koala diet is that eucalyptus leaves were an abundant food source that was so poor in nutrients and high in toxins that there was zero competition for them. And while that combination resulted in an animal that sleeps for twenty-three hours a day and is high as a kite for the other one, they seem to do okay. I know a few humans who would sign up for that lifestyle.

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 2:33 am

FrankTrollman wrote:Every part of that chart is insane, and none of the claims made on any part of it are true. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the person credited with making it is either not a real doctor or doesn't even exist.

He's apparently real, and a real doctor. However, looking that up referred me to this as rebuttal: http://www.vrg.org/nutshell/omni.htm

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 2:50 am

angelfromanotherpin wrote: I don't know what the story is with how Pandas came to switch their diet from meat to bamboo, but the theory for koala diet is that eucalyptus leaves were an abundant food source that was so poor in nutrients and high in toxins that there was zero competition for them. And while that combination resulted in an animal that sleeps for twenty-three hours a day and is high as a kite for the other one, they seem to do okay. I know a few humans who would sign up for that lifestyle.

It doesn't seem to be working too well for pandas. Maybe they used to eat a balanced diet of bamboo and dinosaurs, and then something very unfortunate happened. The main problem for them is that a proper herbivore has fifty thousand miles of intestine to draw every last bit of nutrient out of the food, whereas a full carnivore has a relatively short intestine so as to not have the food rot and poison them mid-digestion. So they're not getting the full benefit of what they eat.

Humans also made the switch, but in a less extreme way. We were originally herbivores, hence the length of our intestines, but eventually we decided "fuck it, all these animals are getting in the way, wandering into our houses, give me a fork, I'll handle this". Or something. But we have to be way more careful about what we eat than, say, dogs or cats do. Because they can eat some dodgy meat, digest it, and shit the remains out before it turns into a mass of dangerous bacteria inside them. We cannot.

And apparently there's a type of squirrel somewhere that did the herbivore -> carnivore change.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 5:45 am

angelfromanotherpin wrote:And while that combination resulted in an animal that sleeps for twenty-three hours a day and is high as a kite for the other one, they seem to do okay. I know a few humans who would sign up for that lifestyle.

We have a poster who would probably sign up for that lifestyle (although the alarmingly high rate of chlamydia in female koalas might dissuade them...)

Koumei wrote:"fuck it, all these animals are getting in the way, wandering into our houses, give me a fork, I'll handle this"

Best fucking explanation for the early hominid shift from herbivore to omnivore I've ever heard.

ishy · Post by **ishy** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 8:49 am

angelfromanotherpin wrote:I don't know what the story is with how Pandas came to switch their diet from meat to bamboo, but the theory for koala diet is that eucalyptus leaves were an abundant food source that was so poor in nutrients and high in toxins that there was zero competition for them. And while that combination resulted in an animal that sleeps for twenty-three hours a day and is high as a kite for the other one, they seem to do okay. I know a few humans who would sign up for that lifestyle.

Frank on Koalas

Count Arioch the 28th · Thu Sep 04, 2014 9:06 am

Stahlseele wrote:i was bitten by a horse once, that was a very traumatic experience for a small little fry like i was back then <.<

A moose once bit my sister.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:02 pm

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:
Stahlseele wrote:i was bitten by a horse once, that was a very traumatic experience for a small little fry like i was back then <.<
A moose once bit my sister.

A wampa bit mine.

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 2:28 pm

fectin wrote:
FrankTrollman wrote:Every part of that chart is insane, and none of the claims made on any part of it are true. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the person credited with making it is either not a real doctor or doesn't even exist.
He's apparently real, and a real doctor. However, looking that up referred me to this as rebuttal: http://www.vrg.org/nutshell/omni.htm

Looking into it more, he's apparently an outpatient physician in Virginia who is also an evangelical vegetarian. His rants are a pack of lies and every single part of it is wrong - so I assume he is doing the whole lying for Jesus vegetarianism thing.

I mean it's really kind of amazing how wrong every single part of it is. Whether animals have sharp claws or not mostly has to do with whether they dig or climb. Lots of herbivores have sharp claws. Hell, guinea pigs have sharp claws, and they are about the most herbivorous herbivores there are. More generally, animal body plans have a lot more to do with what clade they are in than what they eat. The aforementioned guinea pigs have very similar faces, jaws, and digestive tracts to rats and shrews because they are closely related - despite the fact that one is an herbivore, one is an omnivore, and one is a carnivore.

The thing you linked to is better, but it still descends into traditional vegetarian religious insanity at the end. The weird quote about cholesterol being a poison that kills us for eating meat isn't just a total non sequitur, it's totally false. Blood cholesterol is bad for us if it gets too high. But we actually do need cholesterol to live, and also your blood cholesterol has very little to do with how much cholesterol you eat. The cholesterol in your blood is synthesized from fat by your liver, meaning that it's totally possible for vegetarians to have elevated blood cholesterol. In food, it is contained in the cell membranes of animals, which means that it is much higher in lean meat than in fatty meat - but fatty meat raises your blood cholesterol much more than lean meat does because of the aforementioned liver fat synthesis problem. Cholesterol is not a poison. It's a vital part of your body which is insufficiently regulated in most humans and can be over synthesized by people who eat high fat diets resulting in increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

-Username17

Maj · Post by **Maj** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 3:38 pm

Thank you, muchly, Frank. I'm incredibly appreciative.

And thank you to everyone else, too. I love zefrank.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Fri Sep 05, 2014 5:32 pm

Koumei wrote: And apparently there's a type of squirrel somewhere that did the herbivore -> carnivore change.

Insert "they still eat nuts" joke.

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Sat Sep 06, 2014 1:06 am

I have no idea how the quotes in the appendix relate to the rest. I assumed the author was citing something he disagreed with, because they are contradicted by the text around them. Since everything up to that point seemed sane, I just ignored them on first read.

FrankTrollman wrote:Cholesterol

I've heard a neuro researcher (who was last in a lab when γaba was new and poorly understood) speculate that high cholesterol is actually a symptom of some mild brain badnesses. Roughly: you need cholesterol to brain; if you weren't getting enough because of overly-efficient blood brain barriers, your body might flood your blood with it to compensate. Sure, you'd die when you're 40, but you think faster in the meantime.

I have nearly zero evidence that's actually true (anecdotal: I have heard that some people on cholesterol meds complain that they get confused more easily). But it sounds much more plausible than "meatbags are stupid, and break for no reason".

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat Sep 06, 2014 4:32 am

RobbyPants wrote:Insert "they still eat nuts" joke.

It crossed my mind, but I figured that's such a low hanging fruit* that anyone can go for it. You didn't let me down.

*oh there we go again!

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 11:33 am

For shows that use laugh tracks where the show pauses until the audience stops laughing, about how many seconds do you lose per episode because of this nonsense?

ishy · Post by **ishy** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 11:57 am

Wouldn't say it is nonsense.
For example, if I watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKS3MGriZcs

You really realise how stupid and awkward the dialogue is. Terrible shows become a lot more bearable with a laugh track.

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Wed Sep 10, 2014 12:09 pm

ishy wrote:You really realise how stupid and awkward the dialogue is. Terrible shows become a lot more bearable with a laugh track.

Or they could rewrite the show so that it becomes funny without having to ring the Pavlovian dinner bell.

But that's besides the point. Regardless of how necessary of laugh tracks are, I'm simply wondering how much raw padding they introduce.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:09 am

I really should know this shit already, but is there a way to tell Windows Update to go fuck itself and not set a restart timer?

My PC has various playlists for "waiting to fall asleep", and I've been woken up by the restart process a few times. Not to mention the number of times I've left stuff half-typed in firefox (or kept stuff typed up in notepad and not saved because "I only need it until after tomorrow") and it then decided "OKAY WE'RE RESETTING NOW!" and I lost the info.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:13 am

Koumei wrote:I really should know this shit already, but is there a way to tell Windows Update to go fuck itself and not set a restart timer?

My PC has various playlists for "waiting to fall asleep", and I've been woken up by the restart process a few times. Not to mention the number of times I've left stuff half-typed in firefox (or kept stuff typed up in notepad and not saved because "I only need it until after tomorrow") and it then decided "OKAY WE'RE RESETTING NOW!" and I lost the info.

http://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/wind ... e427756ccc

fectin · Post by **fectin** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:18 am

depending on your version, try start -> control panel, double click windows update, select "change settings" on the left, change your update behavior in the dropdown.

Count Arioch the 28th · Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:26 am

Lago PARANOIA wrote:
ishy wrote:You really realise how stupid and awkward the dialogue is. Terrible shows become a lot more bearable with a laugh track.
Or they could rewrite the show so that it becomes funny without having to ring the Pavlovian dinner bell.

But that's besides the point. Regardless of how necessary of laugh tracks are, I'm simply wondering how much raw padding they introduce.

When I was a kid, I didn't realize things were supposed to be funny by their own merits and didn't know when to laugh if there wasn't a laugh track.

I had to teach myself what a sense of humor was because it wasn't automatic with me.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Sep 11, 2014 6:38 am

Thanks guys.