MC Koumei representing

[Koumei]

On the plus side, now that I've finished the silly little project I was working on previously, I am continuing work on the Big Disgaeagame File. Close to finishing the Prestige Classes (the biggest section).

[Koumei]

Okay, I caught the flu and have been sleeping more or less constantly, but I woke up this morning so game should happen for once.

Regarding the document:

Finished Prestige Classes, Feats (with the exception of Ultimate Attacks granted by Magichanging - Magichange is now a Feat), Advancement and Minions & Monsters. This is in addition to the already-complete Races and Classes.

All that's left (other than completing the Ultimate Attacks) is:
[*]Equipment
[*]New Spells (there are two, and they're not added to the Cleric/Wizard/Whatever lists)
[*]The Dark Assembly & Reincarnation
[*]The A-Virus
[*]Credits

[Koumei]

Log:

[12:03] <@Mister_Cavern> So unless I'm more mistaken than someone who considers Fox a good source of news, when we last left off the team had finished talking with the Dark Assembly and getting stuff done
[12:04] <Prak> I believe so
[12:04] *** GX (GX@Nightstar-85b81ee4.dsl.look.ca) joined
[12:04] <Prak> it has been a long time... >.>
[12:04] <@Mister_Cavern> Change your name
[12:04] *** Prak changed nick to Nasturtium
[12:05] <@Mister_Cavern> Interestingly, it turned out that time does not work normally in the Underworld. Things drag on forever because time isn't really much of a happening thing. You didn't spend long there anyway, but your absence from the Netherworld was under a second.
[12:06] <Nasturtium> (I actually barely remember what happened at the DA)
[12:06] <@Mister_Cavern> Even so, it is becoming apparent that EvilCorp are expanding - you've been doing a number of things, playing around, and in the meantime, they've been busy, snatching up other corporations with hostile takeovers and buyouts.
[12:07] <@Mister_Cavern> Battleships are distant on the horizon - it looks like the world is ready for war.
[12:08] <@Mister_Cavern> So what do? The only thing currently "on the cards" is that free entry to FoodWorld, a food-themed... theme park. But perhaps you have your own goals?
[12:09] <Nasturtium> I need to get powerful enough to reanimate my dad
[12:09] <Sparkles> FLYING TIME MACHINE
[12:09] * Barzini requisitions a Spyglass from somewhere on the ship to have a look at the battleships, in hopes of spotting insignias, what kind of crew is manning them, etc.
[12:09] <Barzini> (in a nutshell, Barz wants to see who all is going to war, where they're going, etc.)
[12:14] <@Mister_Cavern> Okay, from the appearance, they have the insignia of EvilCorp Co. Pty. Ltd. Inc. LLC PLC DBA "Totally Not The Villains National Trust PLC", and seem to be heading on to the West, and checking with a map/the crew reveals that that is in the direction...
[12:15] <@Mister_Cavern> ...of HexCorp, located on Affliction Isle
[12:16] <Nasturtium> "Hmmm... sounds like that could be interesting... plus it's more corporations to loot"
[12:16] * Barzini stares blankly at the map, then back blankly at the ships. "We should've dominated that nurse that made the sweet AV."
[12:18] <Barzini> "Does anyone know anything about HexCorp?"
[12:19] <Nasturtium> (hm... don't suppose Kn. Nobility/Royalty would work for corporations...)
[12:19] *** rabid_schnauzer (Josh@Nightstar-eeb5173c.pa.comcast.net) left ()
[12:20] <@Mister_Cavern> Sure it can!
[12:21] <@Mister_Cavern> roll it
[12:21] <Nasturtium> sweet
[12:21] <Nasturtium> !dice 1d20+13
[12:21] <Yuffie> Nasturtium : Result of 1d20+13 : (13) 26
[12:23] <@Mister_Cavern> Okay, HexCorp are located on Affliction Isle, because it's a spooky place that suits their image - and because of the toxic plants and animals there. They produce poisons and manufacture curses, and will send people to curse your enemies for a fee
[12:24] <Nasturtium> "...I want Hexcorp"
[12:24] <Barzini> "What do you want it for?"
[12:24] <Nasturtium> "To have. And so we can throw poison, and curses, and poison curses at people."
[12:27] <Barzini> "What about EvilCorp?"
[12:27] <Barzini> "Looks like it's on between 'em."
[12:28] <Nasturtium> "Well, we already have some of Evilcorp. Hmm.... who's up for some war profiteering?"
[12:29] <Sparkles> "War profiteering... for Science?"
[12:30] <Nasturtium> "...YES."
[12:30] <Nasturtium> "Plus, if we own Hexcorp, we can attack people with cursed, poisonous cupcakes."
[12:31] * Barzini shrugs, "I got pumped up at Dark Assembly, so why not? Let's see what's going on on the isle."
[12:33] <Sparkles> "Cupcakes is good. Let's do it."
[12:34] <@Mister_Cavern> And so, Rammy sets sail, tearing through the ocean towards... the island? Or to intercept the battleships?
[12:35] <Barzini> (I vote for the isle if they're not hostile to us. Our ship is incoming and waving... Strawberry's old swimsuit???)
[12:35] <Nasturtium> (Island, and I have a perfectly servicable flag, thank you.)
[12:36] <Sparkles> ((probably still going to wave the swimsuit in addition though))
[12:37] <Nasturtium> ((....))
[12:38] <@Mister_Cavern> In that case, you are not shelled~
[12:38] <Nasturtium> ((yeah, I know...))
[12:40] <Nasturtium> ((ie, "yeah, I know we'd have been attacked if we flew my flag"))
[12:40] <Nasturtium> ((though now I'm wondering how they *do* react to the massive tower-hive-double ship))
[12:43] <@Mister_Cavern> With some caution, but it looks like orders have probably been given not to fire upon you if you don't start shit. And so, approaching the island, you see that the ground is black, and the grass grows in small patches - grey, black and purple. Bones litter the land.
[12:44] <@Mister_Cavern> The trees are all twisted and look as you'd expect in EVIL BLIGHTED NEGATIVE ENERGY LANDS.
[12:44] <@Mister_Cavern> However there is not a SPIRE, there is an office block.
[12:44] <Sparkles> D:
[12:45] <Nasturtium> "Hmm... anyone have a magic item slot free? Try breaking off a branch and equipping it. If they're Cursttrees, we can see them."
[12:46] <Barzini> "If it's cursed why would we..."
[12:46] <Nasturtium> "They were strength items, remember?"
[12:46] <Barzini> "Oh, those things? Well I already have one, so."
[12:46] * Barzini whistles for a zombie vassal to try taking a tree limb.
[12:50] <@Mister_Cavern> Eventually Rammy slides onto the shore, the sand immediately trying to attack the hull. It is less than successful. A zombie falls over the side, slams into the ground, seems empowered by the spookiness and heads to the trees.
[12:50] <@Mister_Cavern> It snaps a branch off... but gains no benefit. It is soon maimed by a manticore however.
[12:51] <Barzini> "Whoa! Uh."
[12:51] * Barzini looks at the re-dead'd zombie. "It's... not safe on these shores..."
[12:52] <Nasturtium> "Ummm.... I'm all for bombarding the shores with canon fire."
[12:52] <Barzini> "Let's do that. Sparkles, any tricks up your sleeve for dealing with land this toxic?"
[12:54] <Sparkles> "I have my Death Ward, and if that isn't enough I'm pretty sure I can cast a few Delay Poison effects."
[12:54] <Sparkles> "Just stay within 30 feet of me."
[12:55] <Nasturtium> "sounds good.":
[12:56] * Sparkles drops some Delay Poisons on the away party and flies off onto the shore
[12:57] * Barzini flies off close to Sparkles, ready to fry that manticore.
[12:58] * Nasturtium walks onto the shore, guns ready
[13:00] * Nasturtium also stays with 30' of Sparkles
[13:01] <@Mister_Cavern> Well, the Death Ward seems to be just fine. The party is free from harm by the spooky sand. Yes, the negative energy plane leaks into Affliction Isle.
[13:02] * Nasturtium scoops some sand into her.... "crap, no pants. Um, Barz, get some barrels filled with this sand"
[13:02] * Barzini signals for some ghosts to get on that.
[13:06] <Sparkles> (( It's not evil, just deathly :P ))
[13:07] <@Mister_Cavern> The ghosts begin gathering the sand, even as the manticore starts slinking back into the woods, growling quietly
[13:08] * Barzini fires a Lightning Bolt at the Manticore.
[13:09] <Barzini> !dice 9d6 (DC 17 reflex save)
[13:09] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 9d6 (DC 17 reflex save) : 37
[13:14] <@Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+12 Ref
[13:14] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+12 Ref : (16) 28
[13:15] <@Mister_Cavern> It seems the Manticore is better than average - but it still takes a painful zap
[13:15] <@Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+17 Hide
[13:15] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+17 Hide : (5) 22
[13:15] <@Mister_Cavern> Its eyes gleam, but it tries to lurk in shadows.
[13:16] <Barzini> "Hmph. Oh well, maybe my zombie will stand back up again later."
[13:16] <Nasturtium> "If the sand is what I think it is, it may"
[13:19] * Barzini stays close to the death ward on the way to the offices.
[13:29] <@Mister_Cavern> The Manticore does not seem ready to attack you as you wander past, and so you can indeed make your way to the offices. The doors slide open, but inside, there is a row of people with hooded cloaks. Like, twenty of them. "Halt! What business do you have?"
[13:30] <Nasturtium> "We're interested in acquiring poisons, curses, and companies which sell them"
[13:31] <Sparkles> "For SCIENCE"
[13:37] <@Mister_Cavern> "Our company is not for sale. You shall certainly receive curses. Starting right now."
[13:37] <@Mister_Cavern> And that means Nasturtium gets her Ninja action
[13:38] <Nasturtium> "Ah, curses. Guess we'll have to go for a hostile takeover. Though, you should be aware of the *other* ships coming...."
[13:38] * Barzini peers at the hooded figures with deadpan eyes and a sweatdrop, "You're going to fight us while you're fighting EvilCorp?"
[13:41] * Nasturtium smirks.
[13:44] <@Mister_Cavern> "We know about the incoming ships, and we guessed you were just another branch of them attempting to take us over!"
[13:44] * Nasturtium struggles to keep a straight face
[13:46] <Sparkles> "Nope, pirates."
[13:46] <Barzini> "How nice of you not to bomb us. So ah, does this mean you're strong enough to deal with EvilCorp?"
[13:47] <@Mister_Cavern> "Well, I guess we're going to find out! Still, we are offering you now the chance to leave us."
[13:47] <Nasturtium> "And we're offering you the chance to buy our aid."
[13:55] <@Mister_Cavern> "No. We have no interest in that."
[13:56] <Nasturtium> "Welp, we tried. Let's go, guys."
[13:57] * Barzini nods and looks for a good place to watch the battle.
[13:57] * Nasturtium leads on to the Evilcorp ships
[13:58] <Barzini> "Maybe we can learn something about what kind of arsenal EvilCorp has."
[14:04] <@Mister_Cavern> Well, heading to the shore, you see the battleships getting closer. They have actual cannons and rocket launchers.
[14:05] <Nasturtium> "Do we have an evil corp sign somewhere?"
[14:06] <Barzini> "They are packing heat..."
[14:09] <@Mister_Cavern> Soon, there is a loud booming voice from a laud hailer: THIS IS EVILCORP, WE ARE PERFORMING A HOSTILE TAKEOVER! SURRENDER TO US NOW!
[14:10] <Nasturtium> "RAMMY! GET THE POPCORN! IT'S STARTING!"
[14:11] * Barzini watches the office building through the spyglass.
[14:11] <@Mister_Cavern> The reply is less than surrenderous: a huge buzzing swarm of locusts bursts from the windows and begins to advance on the fleet - and they in turn open up with the cannons, but that's less to hurt the swarm than to blitz the building.
[14:14] <Barzini> "Plagues. Next up will be pestilence, famine, and frogs?"
[14:16] <Sparkles> "And spam."
[14:18] <Nasturtium> "Or rivers of blood."
[14:22] <@Mister_Cavern> Not quite, as it turns out: a team of large, hideous, wasp-like fiends rise up, before zooming down towards the ships, ready to make it a close-combat fight. Already people are leaving the offices, ready to start hurling spells.
[14:22] <Barzini> "HexCorp is winning!?"
[14:23] <@Mister_Cavern> Much of the building is damaged in the ensuing firefight, but over time the shooting stops as it becomes a close combat brawl - the advespa tearing into the hulls and crawling in. A few are downed under gatling gun and cannon fire, of course, but once they're in, the ships are soon ruined.
[14:23] <Nasturtium> "Of course, the mysterious villainous organization is prevailing over the familiar one."
[14:24] <@Mister_Cavern> Clouds of toxic smoke rise from the office block as fires rage, but the spellcasters ignore it in favour of throwing magical blasts at any on the ships who go above deck and leap to the ocean.
[14:25] <Barzini> "To think twenty of those guys answered the door when we came there! Good thing we didn't have to fight."
[14:26] <@Mister_Cavern> Soon, some ships are sinking, the advespa are dead, and the other ships get in close, with soldiers - mostly orcs, humans, baciels and marionettes - hopping onto small assault boats on the side, heading to the shore.
[14:27] <@Mister_Cavern> It turns out the casters aren't very durable, and most of them are killed by baciel fire. Still, they do retaliate with magic, causing foes to leap out of their boats in fear...
[14:27] <@Mister_Cavern> Do you want me to get to the end, or do you want to intervene at any point?
[14:27] <Barzini> "This must be one lucrative business if EvilCorp hired a whole fleet just to take them over..."
[14:28] <Nasturtium> Which side seems to have the advantage at the moment?
[14:28] <Barzini> (I think we're all a little confuzzled on who to align with.)
[14:32] <@Mister_Cavern> It's beginning to look like EvilCorp are winning
[14:33] <Nasturtium> "Sparkles, go see if HexCorp would like to reconsider"
[14:33] <Sparkles> "Roger that captain!"
[14:33] * Sparkles flies over and asks the cursemages if they would like to hire our services
[14:34] * Barzini flies up higher after Sparkles leaves, acking about the black sands.
[14:36] <Nasturtium> (asks who?)
[14:36] <Sparkles> ((Whoever she finds! :D ))
[14:37] <Sparkles> ((Since we have no information on the power structure apparently))
[14:37] * Barzini perches in tree and continues watching the action through a spyglass.
[14:39] <@Mister_Cavern> There does seem to be one shadow-clad individual in charge, with a small number of not-dead acolytes still there to support him. He extends his hands and ten bolts of shadow ripple across a squadron of foes, dazing most. "FINE, JUST HELP US HERE!"
[14:40] * Barzini views Sparkles through the spyglass, wondering if there'll be anything left to plunder from the losers.
[14:41] * Sparkles grins happily. "Roger that, shadowman!"
[14:41] * Sparkles flies back to the captain with the news "We got ourselves a privateering deal."
[14:41] <Barzini> "Captain, what say you we send our own bees to help their's?"
[14:42] <Nasturtium> "Sure, sound's like a good idea. RAMMY! Release.... THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!"
[14:43] * Barzini flies high above the black sand and homes in on Sparkles' position to help these hooded warriors out. (See what I did there?)
[14:45] *** Yuffie quit (*.net *.split)
[14:45] *** GX quit (*.net *.split)
[14:45] *** Sparkles quit (*.net *.split)
[14:46] <@Mister_Cavern> ...
[14:46] *** Sparkles (Quantumboos@Nightstar-81744f2b.wa.comcast.net) joined
[14:46] *** Iori (8headed@Nightstar-eee6d108.irvnca.pacbell.net) joined
[14:46] *** GX (GX@Nightstar-85b81ee4.dsl.look.ca) joined
[14:46] *** Yuffie (yuffie@Nightstar-eee6d108.irvnca.pacbell.net) joined
[14:46] <@Mister_Cavern> well
[14:46] <@Mister_Cavern> That was interesting
[14:46] *** Barzini quit (Client closed the connection)
[14:46] *** Iori changed nick to Barzini
[14:46] <Barzini> (Timely netsplit...)
[14:46] <Barzini> [21:42] <Nasturtium> "Sure, sound's like a good idea. RAMMY! Release.... THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!"
[14:46] <Barzini> [21:43] * Barzini flies high above the black sand and homes in on Sparkles' position to help these hooded warriors out. (See what I did there?)
[14:46] <Barzini> [21:45] * Disconnected
[14:46] <@Mister_Cavern> And so, Rammy releases THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS. Swarms of bees descend upon the EvilCorp forces and begin their horrid assault.
[14:47] * Nasturtium starts picking targets to fire on, and commands that the cannons be fired into the the EvilCorp assault.
[14:48] <Barzini> (And I'm touching back down on shore near the death ward to start blasting. If Huge is enough to make a difference, Johnny would like to start ramming ships.)
[14:48] <Nasturtium> "Someone good at sneaking go offer EvilCorp our help too..."
[14:48] <@Mister_Cavern> Fired at the fight on the shore or at the ships?
[14:48] * Nasturtium remembers something, and grins, concentrating for a moment as she uses the call of Calypso to raise a small army of undead from the seas
[14:48] <Nasturtium> on the shore
[14:49] <@Mister_Cavern> You really want to fire an inaccurate weapon at a close combat battle?
[14:49] <Nasturtium> Hmmm... well, we can always loot sunken ships too
[14:49] <Barzini> (Sparkles and I will be mad :[ )
[14:50] <Nasturtium> ah, yeah, at the ships
[14:50] <Barzini> (or sad. or both!)
[14:50] <Nasturtium> wasn't thinking about where Barz and Sparkles were
[14:50] <Nasturtium> (and, brb, grabbing dinner)
[14:50] <@Mister_Cavern> And so, the cannons start to go off, blitzing enemy ships - which naturally return fire. There are few left, however, and it takes time for them to get a bearing on their new target.
[14:52] <@Mister_Cavern> Long story short, the party help HexCorp slaughter their enemies. A lot of damage is done, but EvilCorp is fleeing.
[14:52] <Barzini> "I hope they can hold the fort back on the ship. Okay Hooded Warriors... *stifles laughter* you guys get to be the first to check out my new power!"
[14:53] <Barzini> <Johnny> *charges any smaller ships*
[14:54] * Nasturtium laughs gleefully as she fires at people and watches her new undead army wade into combat
[14:55] <Barzini> (I wonder how Power Dive meshes with attacking objects...)
[14:55] <Barzini> (Power Dive = fancy schmancy Overrun feat.)
[14:58] <Barzini> (Anyway, Johnny overruns the smallest enemy ship, and it may not choose to avoid him. And if a ship can actually AoO him, I guess they can do that. Or he could just make a STR check for busting it open, it's all good.)
[14:58] <Barzini> (One way or another, EvilCorp is now in a Jaws movie.)
[14:59] <@Mister_Cavern> ...make the overrun check, I wanna see if he can do it
[15:00] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+15 STR+mods
[15:00] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+15 STR+mods : (20) 35
[15:00] <Barzini> (wowza)
[15:04] <Barzini> (+7 STR mod, +4 for being large, +4 for being huge, and I left off the +4 vs. prone targets.)
[15:08] CTCP/PING request from Barzini : 1335330489
[15:10] <Barzini> (Johnny plowed through the ship with such force that the MC got hit by a tidal wave.)
[15:11] <@Mister_Cavern> Wow, nice work there~
[15:11] <@Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+16 Colossal
[15:11] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+16 Colossal : (6) 22
[15:11] <@Mister_Cavern> hahaha
[15:11] <@Mister_Cavern> SPLOOSH! The ship is forced under.
[15:12] <Barzini> !dice 2d6+10 Power Dive damage
[15:12] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 2d6+10 Power Dive damage : 17
[15:14] <@Mister_Cavern> Does he have Juggernaut?
[15:14] <Barzini> (Nay.)
[15:15] <Nasturtium> (shit, get it)
[15:15] <@Mister_Cavern> In that case he doesn't break the object (ship), he just smacks a hole into it. While it's underwater. This is not good for the ship.
[15:15] <Barzini> (We could retcon that to being what he claimed from the DA.)
[15:16] <@Mister_Cavern> Sure, why not. In which case he smashes the ship in half.
[15:16] <Barzini> (Since he was given Horde Breaker but has no positive DEX mod.)
[15:16] <Barzini> (*makes updates*)
[15:17] <@Mister_Cavern> Crew scramble out, trying not to drown... the good news is they don't drown, the bad news is it's because undead sea creatures kill them.
[15:17] <@Mister_Cavern> And so it is that you guys save the day, obliterating the EvilCorp fleet in a number of ways.
[15:17] <Nasturtium> "So, crew, shall we march over to HexCorp and receive their company? I mean Thanks?"
[15:18] * Barzini , already there, just grins at the hooded warriors smugly.
[15:19] * Nasturtium strides over to HexCorp, leading her army of undead pirates, bolstered by a second use before heading over
[15:23] <@Mister_Cavern> The shadowy figure (literally covered in shadow) just nods, waving the few survivors down. "You have the company... or what remains of it. Help yourselves to the vault."
[15:24] <Nasturtium> "Thanks!"
[15:24] * Barzini slumps with a sweatdrop, "I wish you'd said that before it got blown up like this."
[15:25] <Barzini> "Is there a manager still alive?"
[15:25] <Nasturtium> "Oh, I think you'll find working for us is pretty good. For one thing, there's a lot of upward mobility immediately after we take ove, which should be good for you, second, you'll find your day to day work hardly changes at all! You just send your barrels of Hells to a different person, and occasionally get gigantic orders because we're bribing someone."
[15:27] <Nasturtium> ((Y'know, since Cham can't play, we *could* say he's taking a full time position administering to our business empire))
[15:28] <Barzini> "I want to know if the Overlord sent or received any curses from your establishment. If the records haven't been blown up..."
[15:29] <Nasturtium> "Oh, and the first person who comes up with a good Cursed Poison Cupcake recipe gets a bonus"
[15:30] <@Mister_Cavern> "As the former CEO, I'm pretty sure this is a step down for me. But oh well, it's in ruins anyway. The Overlord? Well, it was some time ago, but he did make an order for a hex, yes."
[15:32] <Barzini> "Really... anything you could tell me about that might just mean more job stability."
[15:35] <@Mister_Cavern> "Certainly. It was about a year before his disappearance. He wanted a contingent hex placed onto an item for whoever would touch it - the item was an ordinary pen, not even a fancy fountain pen. The first person to touch it would be stunned for all eternity."
[15:35] <Nasturtium> "Wow."
[15:36] <Barzini> "Sounds pretty sinister. Who was the pen sent to?"
[15:37] <@Mister_Cavern> "He collected it - with tongs and a bag - so it's hard to tell."
[15:38] * Nasturtium leads an exploration team into the Vaults "Don't touch anything strange, though"
[15:38] <Barzini> "He's good at covering his tracks. I guess I'll just have to go to his castle myself to investigate."
[15:38] <@Mister_Cavern> Hands-up who is not immune to poison
[15:39] <Barzini> (not immune)
[15:40] <@Mister_Cavern> Well, you may wish to be careful. There is a lot of toxic smoke in the building.
[15:40] <Nasturtium> Not immune
[15:40] <@Mister_Cavern> "Oh, you'll find the vault on the basement level. The combination is 12-3-76-47-8-1."
[15:41] <Nasturtium> "Why don't you come along and open it for us, we wouldn't want to forget the combo."
[15:41] <@Mister_Cavern> "It's a toxic environment, I'd rather not choke. Did you know it's not the fire that kills you in a burning building?"
[15:41] <@Mister_Cavern> There are also fires, but they at least can be walked around.
[15:42] <Nasturtium> "Can't you do something about that?"
[15:42] <@Mister_Cavern> "What do I look like, a priest?"
[15:42] <Nasturtium> "Someone who deals with poison a lot."
[15:43] * Barzini casts his 1/day Quench if anything important is burned or about to burn.
[15:43] <Sparkles> (not immune)
[15:43] <@Mister_Cavern> "I create poison. I'm very careful."
[15:43] <Sparkles> (wait, yes, immune)
[15:43] <Nasturtium> "I don't suppose you could create a substance that's safe for people, but toxic to poisons, could you?"
[15:44] <Barzini> "Toxic... to poisons..?"
[15:44] <Barzini> "Poison poison? "
[15:45] <Nasturtium> "Yes. A poison that's safe for us, but kills poison."
[15:45] <@Mister_Cavern> "No, I don't think that's possible. You are very strange."
[15:46] <Nasturtium> "Hey, I was trying."
[15:46] * Barzini scratches his head, "Then he'd have to create an anti-antidote to un-unpoison an accidental poison poisoning.."
[15:49] <Nasturtium> "Alright, what...Wait. Rammy's a Green Mage."
[15:51] <Nasturtium> "Rammy, use your wind magic to push the toxins out, or at least away from us."
[15:52] <Nasturtium> ((Gust of Wind, or Wind Blast should be able to accomplish that))
[15:54] <@Mister_Cavern> Sure does. So there is a nice safety region around you as she blasts the smoke away with fresh air.
[15:55] <@Mister_Cavern> And so, avoiding fires, you can find the basement, which seems a lot safer and less damaged. There are two doors: the vault, and an open doorway to a properly set up Planar Binding Circle. It looks kind of permanent, for dedicated binders.
[15:56] <Nasturtium> "Ooohh..."
[15:57] <Barzini> "Nice getup here. And this company is ours!"
[15:57] * Nasturtium pulls out the Tome What Be Awesome and starts looking up what efreets will do for free
[15:57] <@Mister_Cavern> But because I want to go to sleep soon, I'll just say that not a great deal of stuff has survived the blitzing, but the vault and its contents are good. Inside, there are sacks of Hell.
[15:58] <Nasturtium> nice
[15:58] <Sparkles> yay shinies
[15:58] <Nasturtium> Soo.... +5s to all our stats?
[15:58] <@Mister_Cavern> So you've managed to strike a blow against what is theoretically your own company, you've helped some dudes, and gained cash, the kind of cash that is enough to spend on some nice items or DA bribes.
[15:58] <@Mister_Cavern> >implying you actually have an Efreeti
[15:59] <Nasturtium> What, you mean you want us to actually go through the summoning onscreen? :3
[15:59] <@Mister_Cavern> Do you have the ability to actually summon one?
[16:00] <@Mister_Cavern> Because if not, I don't really see where this is going.
[16:00] <Nasturtium> ...sorry, my brain kinda skipped over that whole "have the spell" part
[16:00] <Nasturtium> again, sorry
[16:01] <@Mister_Cavern> At any rate, it is obvious that EvilCorp etc. etc. is on the move, speeding up their actions. The question is why? Of course, interfering in this has made you richer so potentially you don't even care.
[16:03] <@Mister_Cavern> To find out what's going on, tune in next week for Friendship Punch!
[16:03] <Nasturtium> Bah, we regularly take over evil corp businesses, so... y'know

[Koumei]

Okay, I'm afraid I'm going to have to skip next session - it was just today that an appointment was made for me tomorrow at "an hour or so after game would start" (going for about an hour).

That's the bad news. The good news is the document is complete!

[Koumei]

Again, an appointment has helpfully been made for me on a Wednesday, but it's kind of on the early side - with any luck, the game will still happen, but an hour or so late.

[Koumei]

Okay, basic update for those who were unsure:

Yeah, until further notice, the game is on hold - probably until after we move, the funeral etc. But who knows.

Still, unlike the tabletop one, that's on hold and not cancelled. So I recommend thinking about what you guys want to do in game (and, given we know how this works, what titles you want to give yourselves when you own EvilCorp Co. Pty. Ltd. Inc. LLC PLC DBA "Totally Not The Villains National Trust PLC"

[Prak]

I think I may have found the crew's Theme Song

[Josh_Kablack]

Okay, basic update for those who were unsure:

Yeah, until further notice, the game is on hold - probably until after we move, the funeral etc. But who knows.

Of course it goes on hold as soon as I manage to get a schedule with Tues nights off......

[Koumei]

Well... I'm back from the trip to say goodbye. Dad is still alive, but chances are he won't see the end of the week. There's not going to be a funeral, which is good - nobody wants it. Dad's own opinion was "You can dump the body wherever. I don't care, I won't be there to see it." Ever the practical one.

Now, it's about a month or so before we move. When that happens, we'll actually be parting ways, and I'll have a job at the same high-school as my stepdad (fixing computers, I'm not qualified to teach). Probably with the ability to say "I'd like to have Wednesdays off". Which means for a while I'll be staying there, with Internet access and there won't really be much of a hitch.

So starting next week, I would like to resume the game. It'd be nice to have that as something to keep myself occupied with until the move (and a way to wind down and enjoy a mid-week day off). I'll try to sign on early, but I make no demands that everyone else does.

[Prak]

I can only imagine you as a teacher, Koumei.

Glad to have you back. Your dad sounds like my kind of man.

[Koumei]

Just a reminder that game is on tomorrow. Which is different from saying you're on the game. But you all totally are. Oh, burn!

[Koumei]

The start is missing, but it's just them talking about whether to cripple EvilCorp's defences by taking out the subsidiary InSecuriCorp, or to go finding Efreeti in the Cross of Fire because I stupidly put a scenery summoning circle in.

[12:44] <Crystal> Contriariise, if we hit their security, our enemies will be weaker, less accurate, uglier and dumber, as well as definitely worse equipped
[12:44] <Nasturtium> damnit
[12:44] <Crystal> They are our enemies right?
[12:45] <Nasturtium> "Well.... we are pirates, so anyone we're trying to take shit from...."
[12:45] <Crystal> Or were they subsidiaries? I never could figure out how the ogre chart worked?
[12:47] <Sparkles> "We are actively harming them, so I guess they'd think of us as their enemies."
[12:47] <Mister_Cavern> Looking at the Cam-Pain map, yeah, anyone you're trying to hurt is an enemy.
[12:47] <Nasturtium> "Thought so!"
[12:47] <Crystal> "Well then it's settled!"
[12:48] <Mister_Cavern> Granted, this means you're enemies with a company you're part of, meaning you're also enemies of the enemies of the company except sometimes not their enemies because you're more enemying with the company!
[12:48] <Crystal> "We should go stab them and take their stuffs!"
[12:49] <Nasturtium> "So... the enemy of our enemy is our friend, but the enemy of our employer is our enemy by contract... so we're our own friends and enemy?"
[12:49] <Barzini> "Those Hooded Warriors are proof that it makes sense!"
[12:49] <Sparkles> "No, pretty much everyone is our enemy except us. Unless you're playing 4th Edition Dungeons & Discourse."
[12:50] <Sparkles> "In which case we're also our enemy, but only for purposes of beneficial effects."
[12:50] <Mister_Cavern> Somewhere out there, there is a warlock who is cursing himself!
[12:51] <Mister_Cavern> Literally. Because he has to curse himself, being the nearest enemy.
[12:51] <Crystal> "And in 4e, we're also adjacent to ourselves! Which is handy with double vision!"
[12:51] <Mister_Cavern> Poor Warlock.
[12:52] * Barzini flies back aboard the ship to ask Strawberry and AAAAAAAAA about where InSecuriCorp HQ is.
[12:53] <Mister_Cavern> "They're on a floating fortress. Don't worry, it's always anchored so we know where it is. Basically you need to turn Westward and go a hundred miles or so and you'll find it. No cannons, this one! But ah... it has big ramming spikes and barricades."
[12:55] * Barzini whistles, "Floating fortress, they had a budget for building a nice base, didn't they?"
[12:56] <Crystal> "Can't have been that nice a budget if they have spikes instead of cannon."
[12:57] <Sparkles> "That's PERFECT"
[12:57] <Sparkles> "Our ship can't fly yet!"
[12:57] <Nasturtium> "Yet!"
[12:57] <Barzini> "Floating fortress... I wanna live in a castle that can fly!"
[12:58] <Nasturtium> "Also, where is Fire Cross in relation to this?"
[13:03] <Mister_Cavern> Hang on, I thought it could fly?
[13:04] <Mister_Cavern> Or was that just the planeshifting from the Underworld?
[13:04] <Nasturtium> wait... did we get it flying?
[13:04] <Nasturtium> didn't the Ravid help?
[13:04] <Sparkles> I don't remember us ever actually getting it to fly. Think it was just the planeshifting.
[13:04] <Nasturtium> crap I can't damned remember
[13:04] <Mister_Cavern> Ah, okay. Well, you can't fly yet~
[13:05] <Mister_Cavern> Yet is a good word though
[13:05] <Nasturtium> We need to check on the positive energy engine...
[13:05] <Barzini> (We can't fly yet. We attached a bunch of bee hives, but I remember no flight upgrades.)
[13:05] <Nasturtium> hmm...
[13:05] <Mister_Cavern> So, Fire Cross is basically going to be South-South-East from your target point
[13:05] <Nasturtium> we need a bunch of leashes
[13:05] <Nasturtium> from our target point, meaning Insecuricorp?
[13:06] <Mister_Cavern> ya
[13:08] *** Crystal (Josh@Nightstar-eeb5173c.pa.comcast.net) left ()
[13:08] *** Crystal (Josh@Nightstar-eeb5173c.pa.comcast.net) joined
[13:08] <Nasturtium> "Does insecuricorp have an full efreets working for it?"
[13:09] <Mister_Cavern> no :|
[13:09] <Nasturtium> damn
[13:09] <Nasturtium> "Alright guys, wishes first, or crippling insecurity?"
[13:10] * Crystal thought our wish was crippling our enemies
[13:10] <Barzini> "Let's hit InSecuriCorp! I wanna see the flying fortress."
[13:11] <Nasturtium> "Right! Then maybe we'll be better able to beat up efreets and take their lunch money."
[13:11] <Sparkles> "From above, even."
[13:11] <Crystal> We can do the sidequest later. First we do the upquest!
[13:15] <Nasturtium> "Hm, I wonder if the therapists would be helpful..."
[13:16] <Barzini> "I figured we'd just take what we could from them and sabotage what we couldn't."
[13:17] <Nasturtium> "But I hear therapists are great for crippling insecuri-somethings..."
[13:18] <Barzini> "Really? We should give anything that might work a try. The more messed up security is, the better."
[13:19] <Nasturtium> "Alright, how do we get in touch with them? How do we let them know we need their help?"
[13:20] <Crystal> "Aren't they still on our ship?"
[13:20] <Nasturtium> "Are they? I've lost track"
[13:21] <Crystal> Well we could go see...
[13:22] * Nasturtium goes to see if therapists are on her ship
[13:24] <Crystal> Shouldn't the captain know who's on her ship?
[13:25] <Nasturtium> at this point?
[13:25] * Barzini sweatdrops a little and refrains from comment.
[13:26] <Nasturtium> we could have a small village in our hold, and it wouldn't surprise me
[13:26] <Mister_Cavern> The psycho therapists are indeed on the ship
[13:26] <Mister_Cavern> Not psychotherapists, you understand, the therapists have just gone a bit crazy
[13:26] * Crystal actually remembered something!
[13:26] <Nasturtium> "perfect! Rammy, write that down! Start a list of everyone who's boarded you!"
[13:26] <Mister_Cavern> "..."
[13:27] <Mister_Cavern> "Aye, Captain."
[13:27] <Nasturtium> "You know what I mean! The other one would be pretty short."
[13:28] <Mister_Cavern> So, what are you seeing therapists about?
[13:28] <Nasturtium> help with crippling InSecuriCorp
[13:28] <Sparkles> Psychologistical warfare!
[13:28] <Sparkles> that's psychologist-ical, not psycho-logistical
[13:29] <Nasturtium> psychologist-logistical?
[13:29] <Mister_Cavern> "Um... if you can bring them here so we can enter their heads? Sure. We can't really enter someone's head from a range though"
[13:29] <Sparkles> -idocious
[13:29] <Barzini> (We had therapists that weren't originally crazy? Those exist in the Netherworld???? :O )
[13:30] <Nasturtium> (I believe craziness in the netherworld would be a lot like sanity in our world)
[13:30] <Barzini> (Ah, like the deal with school and delinquents.)
[13:31] <Nasturtium> (probably)
[13:33] <Barzini> "I hope their heads won't be anything like AAAAAAAAA's head..."
[13:33] <Mister_Cavern> "And yeah, anyone you bring and subdue so we can enter their brain? Well... yeah, you don't need our help with. Unless you want to set them up as like a puppet to send bad or treasonous security out."
[13:33] <Nasturtium> "Well, damn."
[13:34] <Sparkles> "Could you turn them into backup usses?"
[13:34] <Nasturtium> "I don't know... that could be a good idea... the puppet thing. Or the backup thing, that'd be good too..."
[13:35] <Mister_Cavern> "I suppose so, yeah... we could do that!"
[13:35] <Nasturtium> "Alright! We'll need to take at least 5 hostage!"
[13:35] <Sparkles> "Yay! Hundreds of me! It's like Laharlmas!"
[13:35] <Nasturtium> "Someone get some rope!"
[13:36] <Nasturtium> "Gift wrapped thought slaves? I like this idea more and more!
[13:37] <Barzini> (Now it's really a shame nobody captured that robot nurse.)
[13:37] <Nasturtium> (We might be able to go get her still...)
[13:40] <Nasturtium> (ok, refresh my mind, where was her hut in relation to Fire Cross and InSecuriCorp?)
[13:41] <Mister_Cavern> (South of where you are now. So a little North-East of Fire Cross)
[13:43] <Nasturtium> Ok, so lets go to InSecuriCorp, grab some hostages, make a puppet, send him back in, then head to Fire Cross, grabbing the nursebot on the way"
[13:43] <Crystal> "I thought you wanted five puppets, Cap'n?"
[13:44] <Nasturtium> no, a puppet, and four hostages to back us up
[13:45] <Nasturtium> "Though multiple puppets would be good..."
[13:46] <Crystal> "I only have two arms....but you have those root tendrils"
[13:46] <Nasturtium> "They do have many uses... don't they, Rammy?"
[13:48] <Mister_Cavern> "..."
[13:49] <Mister_Cavern> So, off to InSecuricorp?
[13:49] * Nasturtium subtly demonstrates
[13:49] <Nasturtium> "yes!"
[13:49] <Crystal> "Yes. To the UpQuest!"
[13:50] <Barzini> "Forward!"
[13:50] <Sparkles> "And Away!"
[13:56] <Mister_Cavern> Swoosh! Some time later... (I have no idea how fast ships move, 100 miles could be minutes, hours or days)
[13:56] <Crystal> ((pretty sure it's days..))
[13:57] <Mister_Cavern> It quickly comes into view. And indeed, it is floating: in the sky, as predicted. It is anchored, however, with massive chains holding it in place, the Arcanatek Turbines on the sides of the fortress buzzing away in an attempt to float off.
[13:57] <Sparkles> GATTAI
[13:58] <Nasturtium> "Think we could smash those off?"
[13:59] <Barzini> "No way, I want to take this fort!"
[14:00] <Nasturtium> "The puppet idea completely falls apart then"
[14:00] <Barzini> "Huh? Why?"
[14:00] <Nasturtium> "because.... we'd have their ship?"
[14:01] <Crystal> Silly! We'd just have to send the puppets to their other ships.
[14:01] <Nasturtium> "AAAAAA do they have other ships?"
[14:01] <Barzini> "If we're stronger than they are, let's just take their base."
[14:02] <Mister_Cavern> "No, no they don't"
[14:02] <Nasturtium> "Yeah, and I kinda wanted a mole on the inside so that we can completely fuck them up, and perhaps get lots of stuff over time."
[14:03] <Nasturtium> "Kind like robbery, but unlimited"
[14:03] <Sparkles> "But... flying!"
[14:03] <Nasturtium> "and sneakier"
[14:03] <Nasturtium> "But, money and shit falling from the sky forever more!"
[14:03] * Barzini glances upward, lost in thought.
[14:03] <Sparkles> "Wait wait"
[14:03] <Sparkles> "When have we ever been sneaky?"
[14:04] <Sparkles> "Like, aside from "sneak up on people and then stab them""
[14:04] <Nasturtium> "when the profit is bigger"
[14:04] <Crystal> "Sparkles does have a point"
[14:04] <Nasturtium> "Yeah, and I have another, mostly, MORE LOOT!"
[14:04] <Barzini> (heh, we did this all in the wrong order.)
[14:05] <Nasturtium> (how so?)
[14:05] <Barzini> (1) Capture nurse and use her as the infiltrator, 2) send her into this base, 3) make other preparations while she gathers intel and/or mutilates security with strange surgery.)
[14:06] <Nasturtium> (eh, this should work too)
[14:06] <Sparkles> "So... how are we capturing this puppet candidate?"
[14:07] <Nasturtium> "Rope!"
[14:07] <Nasturtium> "and gags and dragging"
[14:07] <Crystal> "Here puppet, puppet, puppet...."
[14:07] <Barzini> "Who's gonna be our candidate?"
[14:07] <Nasturtium> "Dunno. first person we can grab?"
[14:09] <Sparkles> "That sounds more like us."
[14:09] <Nasturtium> "Alright, Rammy, round up the bees, and put up a windwall!"
[14:10] <Crystal> "So we sneak on up, grab someone, bring them back and puppet them?"
[14:10] <Barzini> "Who's the sneaky one here?"
[14:11] <Nasturtium> "Totally not me! Unless no one else has ranks and is more dextrous"
[14:12] <Sparkles> "I *could* disguise myself, but I don't know what they even look like."
[14:12] <Nasturtium> "Though Rammy isn't bad at stealth..."
[14:12] <Barzini> "I just steal things, hiding isn't my thing."
[14:12] * Crystal is kinda sneaky
[14:13] <Nasturtium> "Well I wasn't thinking of just grabbing a puppet... I wanted to do a smash and grab *too*"
[14:13] <Nasturtium> "Besides, if we only take hostages, they'll be suspicious."
[14:13] <Nasturtium> "Wait.... we all work for EvilCorp. We could try just walking up."
[14:14] * Barzini bigsweats. "Think they know about the deal with the Hooded Warriors yet?"
[14:14] * Crystal is confused about enemies subsidiaries and ogre charts again
[14:14] <Nasturtium> "Think they care much? I mean... it *is* EvilCorp"
[14:15] <Barzini> "Let's give it a shot."
[14:15] <Nasturtium> "So.... let's mount up."
[14:15] * Nasturtium gestures at bees
[14:15] * Barzini hops on Johnny even though the both of them can fly.
[14:16] * Sparkles uses the Sparkles Disguise Pen to transformation sequence into a secretary outfit and hops on a bee
[14:16] * Nasturtium takes pictures during transformation sequence
[14:16] <Mister_Cavern> BZZZZZ...
[14:16] * Nasturtium mounts up
[14:16] * Crystal tucks a bee gently under her arm and takes flight
[14:17] <Mister_Cavern> And so, the whole party are able to make their way up, not needing to climb massive chains. Which is good, because that would be hard, whereas flying is really easy.
[14:17] <Nasturtium> (heh, forgot about Crystal's size. She could strap them to her feet...)
[14:18] * Nasturtium dismounts on the deck of the fortress
[14:18] <Nasturtium> "Hey guys!"
[14:18] * Sparkles dismounts in midair and glides to the deck
[14:18] <Mister_Cavern> The chain leads up to a massive reel inside the lowest level of the fortress. That means you're all inside, already, but... it's pretty open and breezy down here.
[14:19] * Crystal alights and lets the bee fly free
[14:19] <Mister_Cavern> Despite the stone ceiling, you can hear marching going on above. It's probably guard training.
[14:19] <Barzini> "Easiest infiltration yet."
[14:19] <Mister_Cavern> As a rule, they don't let people join who have been shot in the knee with arrows.
[14:19] <Nasturtium> Well, what are our options, exactly?
[14:19] <Nasturtium> lol
[14:20] <Crystal> (( sneak, assault or diplomancy ))
[14:20] <Nasturtium> directionwise, I mean
[14:21] <Mister_Cavern> It appears that there are four doors, each in a different direction: Lobby, Supplies, Canteen, Recruitment Office
[14:22] * Barzini narrows his eyes at the supplies room and quietly wishes he'd brought a bee.
[14:22] <Crystal> "Well, we are here to recruit their fortress to our cause"
[14:22] <Mister_Cavern> (Also, time for a 5-ish minute break: going to make more tea, and while the kettle boils take the mutt for a quick run~)
[14:22] <Nasturtium> "Well, we could see about puppeting the recruiter..."
[14:39] <Mister_Cavern> Right, I'm back. So, plans?
[14:41] * Barzini opens the Supplies door, braced for asian guys dressed as bees.
[14:42] * Crystal prepares for whatever by using her sphere ability of Glibness
[14:42] * Nasturtium prepares for whatever with her guns controlled by murder thoughts
[14:42] <Nasturtium> (though sadly, they do not float around her, nor does she have very many)
[14:44] <Sparkles> "Love Shot, Set Up!"
[14:47] <Mister_Cavern> The room... is very well stocked with polearms, short swords, bows, arrows, and bear traps. Also spools of pianowire
[14:47] <Nasturtium> "Sweet! Everyone grab a bear trap!"
[14:48] <Crystal> "Aye Cap'n! What for?"
[14:48] <Nasturtium> "Bein' prepared? And for fun?"
[14:48] * Barzini looks at the bear trap. "They have good taste in defense."
[14:48] * Sparkles grabs a bear trap and equips it in a secondary item slot
[14:49] * Nasturtium grabs a bear trap
[14:49] * Barzini plunders his fair share of bear traps.
[14:49] <Nasturtium> "On to the recruitment office!"
[14:49] * Crystal gingerly lifts a bear trap
[14:50] <Mister_Cavern> Thankfully, the traps are not currently set, otherwise that could have gone disastrously.
[14:50] <Crystal> (( thankfully, none of us are bears ))
[14:50] * Nasturtium eyes Barz
[14:51] <Mister_Cavern> (minus five, it's "None (not one) of us is a bear")
[14:51] <Mister_Cavern> So, recruitment...
[14:52] * Barzini peeks into the Canteen inconspicuously.
[14:53] <Mister_Cavern> The door swings open... to reveal a well-guarded recruitment officer. As in, a weedy little chap behind a counter, but in front of him, a 3x3 formation of humans wielding assorted weapons and looking angry.
[14:54] * Crystal waves
[14:54] <Crystal> "Hello everyone"
[14:54] * Crystal smilies
[14:54] <Nasturtium> "Hi there! We're here to do some recruiting!"
[14:54] <Mister_Cavern> "...we saw you on the way. I took the liberty of preparing for your invasion, hope you don't mind."
[14:55] <Nasturtium> "Not at all! We love a challenge!"
[14:55] <Sparkles> "Well, that will expedite things quite nicely. Thank you for your cooperation!"
[14:55] <Nasturtium> (can I shoot a guard?)
[14:55] * Barzini looks goofy and dumbfounded. "Ah... huh?"
[14:55] <Crystal> "Wait, I didn't think we'd decided on an invasion yet....?"
[14:55] <Crystal> "Weren't we going with the smash and grab?"
[14:55] <Mister_Cavern> "Well you were just stealing things already."
[14:55] <Nasturtium> "That was the plan"
[14:55] <Mister_Cavern> (You can have your Ninja Surprise Round, sure)
[14:56] <Nasturtium> !dice 1d20+17 scorching pistol
[14:56] <Yuffie> Nasturtium : Result of 1d20+17 scorching pistol : (16) 33
[14:56] * Barzini scratches his head, speaking tactlessly loud enough for the angry guards to hear, "Did we really get the right place? I thought security guards were supposed to be a bunch of mindless stubborn idiots that blindly follow orders..."
[14:56] <Mister_Cavern> For the record, the front three have GREAT! swords (they're not that great), the middle row have glaives or some other weird polearm, and the back row have bows
[14:56] <Mister_Cavern> Who you shooting?
[14:57] <Nasturtium> front right guard
[14:57] <Mister_Cavern> Even flat-footed with a touch attack, he manages to slap the fire away with his blade
[14:58] <Nasturtium> "Huh. That should have hit. You really fucked with my dramatic moment"
[14:58] <Mister_Cavern> Which means it becomes Initiative time
[14:59] <Nasturtium> !dice 1d20+5
[14:59] <Yuffie> Nasturtium : Result of 1d20+5 : (6) 11
[14:59] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+4 init
[14:59] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+4 init : (10) 14
[14:59] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+5 init
[14:59] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+5 init : (10) 15
[15:00] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+3 doods
[15:00] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+3 doods : (9) 12
[15:00] <Mister_Cavern> Sparkles?
[15:00] <Nasturtium> cohorts go on our init, right?
[15:00] <Mister_Cavern> Yeah
[15:01] <Nasturtium> k, making sure
[15:02] <Sparkles> !dice 1d20+0 init
[15:02] <Yuffie> Sparkles : Result of 1d20+0 init : 2
[15:02] <Mister_Cavern> Right
[15:02] <Mister_Cavern> Gooooo Barzini!
[15:03] * Barzini casts Grease underneath the guards since they're all huddled together in a tight formation. (DC 17 Reflex)
[15:03] <Mister_Cavern> Is there a command to mass-roll for Yuffie?
[15:04] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 9#1d20+10 like this?
[15:04] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 9#1d20+10 like this? : (13) 23 (5) 15 (18) 28 (18) 28 (10) 20 (7) 17 (9) 19 (20) 30 (5) 15
[15:04] <Mister_Cavern> Score!
[15:04] <Barzini> (You can use the number of times you want to-- yeah like that.)
[15:04] <Mister_Cavern> So, the mid-front guy slips over, as does the rear-right guy
[15:04] <Barzini> (How spacious is this room, as far as Johnny being a huge shark goes?)
[15:05] <Mister_Cavern> (Like all rooms here, actually pretty spacious!)
[15:05] <Mister_Cavern> And... IIRC the other doods all need to make Balance checks and become Flat-footed?
[15:06] <Nasturtium> (oh, remember guys, you all get +4 on strength based rolls)
[15:06] <Barzini> (Nah, only if they want to move from their squares. But if they don't move, they have to keep making the ref save.)
[15:06] <Mister_Cavern> aha
[15:06] <Barzini> (Like, on their turn)
[15:06] <Mister_Cavern> So... Crystal!
[15:06] <Barzini> <Johnny> *dive bombs a guard*
[15:07] <Mister_Cavern> Oh right, Johnny!
[15:07] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+25 Charge!
[15:07] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+25 Charge! : (7) 32
[15:07] <Barzini> !dice 3d6+11 chomp
[15:07] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 3d6+11 chomp : 21
[15:07] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+31 Improved Grab
[15:07] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+31 Improved Grab : (5) 36
[15:07] <Barzini> (Oh right and also...)
[15:08] <Barzini> !dice 2d6+10 Power Dive
[15:08] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 2d6+10 Power Dive : 16
[15:08] <Mister_Cavern> MISS! :3c
[15:08] <Mister_Cavern> The guard nimbly slides out of the way~
[15:09] <Barzini> <Johnny> !?
[15:09] <Barzini> (And now me and my minions are done for the round.)
[15:09] <Mister_Cavern> So, Crystal!
[15:10] <Crystal> (( can I fly over formation and counter to engage officer? ))
[15:11] * Crystal uses free action to allocate Jutsu point to saves
[15:11] <Mister_Cavern> Yes you can~
[15:12] * Crystal uses c-c-c-combo
[15:12] * Crystal opens with standard action auto-hit Britting on officer
[15:13] <Mister_Cavern> fwush!
[15:13] <Crystal> !dice 1d6+9
[15:13] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d6+9 : 13
[15:13] <Mister_Cavern> The officer is now frozen solid rather than brittle
[15:13] * Crystal follows with 90' flight over formation to close to melee move action
[15:14] * Crystal gets free attack Ninja against officer since he now has no dex bonus
[15:15] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+18 Ninja Sword
[15:15] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+18 Ninja Sword : (18) 36
[15:15] <Crystal> (( assuming hit, that's ))
[15:16] <Crystal> !dice 2d8+21 slashing and
[15:16] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 2d8+21 slashing and : 26
[15:16] <Crystal> !dice 1d6+8 cold damage
[15:16] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d6+8 cold damage : 12
[15:18] <Crystal> (( also if that was hit, he makes DC 21 fort save vs Daze for Combat Style ))
[15:20] * Crystal uses Swift Action to activate Monk Style and is done
[15:24] * Crystal blinks
[15:24] <Nasturtium> *pokes at the MC*
[15:25] <Mister_Cavern> (ack, sorry)
[15:26] <Mister_Cavern> Yeah, the officer is so dead that it's not fu- just kidding, he's so dead that it IS funny
[15:26] <Nasturtium> "Crystal, take him alive!"
[15:26] <Nasturtium> "Damnit!"
[15:28] <Crystal> "Why didn't you say that sooner?"
[15:28] <Nasturtium> "I did! When we were figuring out where to go!"
[15:31] <Sparkles> "Killing people is not conducive to proper befriending procedures!"
[15:31] <Mister_Cavern> Is that your turn, Crystal?
[15:31] <Nasturtium> "Not until I learn more necromancy, at least!"
[15:32] <Sparkles> "Exactly."
[15:32] * Nasturtium sighs "I really need to get some books or something... I wonder if wish can give feats..."
[15:34] * Crystal said she was done, NEXT
[15:34] <Mister_Cavern> Now the doods all respond!
[15:35] <Mister_Cavern> Front-middle provokes an AoO from Johnny~
[15:35] <Nasturtium> Prinny guards!
[15:35] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+23
[15:35] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+23 : (7) 30
[15:35] <Mister_Cavern> Looks like he's too sly to get hit like that.
[15:35] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+8 Balance to stand
[15:35] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+8 Balance to stand : (11) 19
[15:36] <Mister_Cavern> He manages to rise.
[15:36] <Mister_Cavern> The guys next to him need to save again
[15:36] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 2#1d20+10 Ref
[15:36] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 2#1d20+10 Ref : (17) 27 (1) 11
[15:36] <Mister_Cavern> And one falls over!
[15:36] <Mister_Cavern> So only two guys get to attempt to swordinate Johnny
[15:37] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 4#1d20+7 (they seem remarkably fast...)
[15:37] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 4#1d20+7 (they seem remarkably fast...) : (10) 17 (19) 26 (5) 12 (3) 10
[15:37] <Barzini> (one hit)
[15:37] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+7 confirm?
[15:37] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+7 confirm? : (10) 17
[15:37] <Mister_Cavern> Okay, a regular hit
[15:37] <Barzini> (nope)
[15:38] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 2d6+3 slashing (nonmagical)
[15:38] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 2d6+3 slashing (nonmagical) : 9
[15:38] <Mister_Cavern> The middle row... are standing still, so...
[15:39] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 3#1d20+10 Ref
[15:39] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 3#1d20+10 Ref : (12) 22 (4) 14 (19) 29
[15:39] <Mister_Cavern> The middle guy falls over! And he can't reach like that
[15:39] <Mister_Cavern> 4#1d20+7 Glaiving Johnny
[15:40] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 4#1d20+7 Glaiving
[15:40] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 4#1d20+7 Glaiving : (9) 16 (19) 26 (13) 20 (19) 26
[15:40] <Barzini> (2 hits)
[15:40] <Barzini> (AC 23, -2 for charging last round to make 21.)
[15:40] <Mister_Cavern> (Ah, cheers)
[15:40] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 2#1d10+3 Slashing, nonmagical - they poke him a bit but it's still weaksauce
[15:40] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 2#1d10+3 Slashing, nonmagical - they poke him a bit but it's still weaksauce : 5 5
[15:41] <Mister_Cavern> Now the archers have a turn. The two that are not on the floor need to save again
[15:41] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 2#1d20+10 Ref
[15:41] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 2#1d20+10 Ref : (7) 17 (9) 19
[15:42] <Mister_Cavern> And a Balance check to stand
[15:42] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+8
[15:42] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+8 : (20) 28
[15:42] <Mister_Cavern> Right, and Crystal, with her reach, gets an AoO on the guy who stood up
[15:42] <Crystal> "Do we need this one alive or not?"
[15:42] <Sparkles> "As many as possible
[15:42] <Sparkles> "
[15:42] <Nasturtium> "Your call"
[15:42] <Barzini> (195/214. He has no DR, but he's quite meaty)
[15:44] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+14 AoO with Ninja Sword and nonlethal penalty
[15:44] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+14 AoO with Ninja Sword and nonlethal penalty : (19) 33
[15:44] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+14 to confirm on that
[15:44] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+14 to confirm on that : (11) 25
[15:46] <Sparkles> ((Can't we just decide whether we kill or just incapacitate enemies when they drop? I recall that being a thing))
[15:46] <Barzini> (It was)
[15:46] <Nasturtium> (yep)
[15:46] <Mister_Cavern> (Good point)
[15:46] <Crystal> (( well then 4 points better on those ))
[15:47] <Mister_Cavern> Okay, it's not critical but he's still hit
[15:47] <Crystal> !dice 2d8+21 slashing and
[15:47] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 2d8+21 slashing and : 32
[15:47] <Crystal> !dice 1d6+8 cold
[15:47] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d6+8 cold : 9
[15:49] <Mister_Cavern> The man was starting to get back up, but now he falls over again and has a little sleep
[15:50] <Mister_Cavern> The other two still want to shoot Johnny... does he have 15' reach and multiple AoOs per turn, and can Crystal make multiple AoOs per turn? (Remembering Tome rules for iterative BAB attacks granting extra AoOs)
[15:52] <Barzini> (I put his reach down as 10' but it looks like I never updated that for Huge, huh.)
[15:53] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+18 AoO like so?
[15:53] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+18 AoO like so? : (16) 34
[15:53] <Barzini> !dice 3d6+11
[15:54] *** Yuffie quit (*.net *.split)
[15:54] *** Barzini quit (*.net *.split)
[15:54] *** Crystal quit (*.net *.split)
[15:54] <Mister_Cavern> ack
[15:54] <Nasturtium> wazzat?
[15:54] <Mister_Cavern> Netsplit occurred
[15:55] <Nasturtium> weird
[15:57] *** Yuffie (yuffie@Nightstar-d3051a42.irvnca.pacbell.net) joined
[15:57] * Nasturtium drums fingers
[15:57] <Yuffie> <Iori> (Still no un-split? Josh and I are still on Kakrafoon.)
[15:58] <Yuffie> <Iori> (Since more are over on this side, I'll hop over this way.)
[16:00] *** rabid_schnauzer (Josh@Nightstar-eeb5173c.pa.comcast.net) joined
[16:00] *** rabid_schnauzer changed nick to Crystal
[16:00] <Mister_Cavern> how odd
[16:00] *** Iori (8headed@Nightstar-d3051a42.irvnca.pacbell.net) joined
[16:01] *** Iori changed nick to Barzini
[16:01] <Barzini> [22:51] <Mister_Cavern> The other two still want to shoot Johnny... does he have 15' reach and multiple AoOs per turn, and can Crystal make multiple AoOs per turn? (Remembering Tome rules for iterative BAB attacks granting extra AoOs)
[16:01] <Mister_Cavern> Well, I was just about to say Johnny hits!
[16:01] <Barzini> [22:53] <Barzini> (I put his reach down as 10' but it looks like I never updated that for Huge, huh.)
[16:01] <Barzini> [22:53] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+18 AoO like so?
[16:01] <Barzini> [22:53] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+18 AoO like so? : (16) 34
[16:01] <Barzini> [22:53] <Barzini> !dice 3d6+11
[16:01] <Barzini> [22:53] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 3d6+11 : 28
[16:01] <Barzini> [22:54] <Barzini> (Had to check FF. But Terlen starts at 5'/5' as a Medium creature, and Johnny is huge. Hm.)
[16:01] <Barzini> [22:54] * Crystal Crystal does have one extra AoO with off-hand weapon from tome 2weapon fighting
[16:01] <Mister_Cavern> So, Crystal also gets an AoO~
[16:02] <Mister_Cavern> And... the hit guy drops to the ground, also having a nap
[16:02] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+18 B.o.B.B.B AoO
[16:02] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+18 B.o.B.B.B AoO : (7) 25
[16:02] <Mister_Cavern> I'm afraid that does not hit
[16:04] <Mister_Cavern> So, one person actually gets to shoot Johnny...
[16:04] <Nasturtium> (so, are all the guards on the floor now?)
[16:04] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 2#1d20+9
[16:04] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 2#1d20+9 : (17) 26 (17) 26
[16:04] <Mister_Cavern> THOCK THOCK
[16:04] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 2#1d8+3
[16:04] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 2#1d8+3 : 8 7
[16:05] <Mister_Cavern> Nope, there are two archers lying down KOed, and everyone else is standing (albeit with difficulty) on the grease
[16:05] <Nasturtium> k
[16:05] <Mister_Cavern> And every time someone falls down for a nap, every adjacent ally loses 7 AC :3
[16:05] <Nasturtium> cool
[16:06] <Barzini> (Ho? What be this pimped out version of Swarmfighting?)
[16:06] <Nasturtium> (or they're iron devils)
[16:06] <Mister_Cavern> (Knight/Monk with Phalanx Fighting to share Dodge bonuses, the Dodge Stance, Elusive Target and a Haste spell from poor mister unconscious-cold-officer)
[16:07] <Mister_Cavern> Nasturtium, we get to your turn
[16:07] <Barzini> (Ah, niice.)
[16:07] * Nasturtium free action to allocate Jutsu to Dex Skills, switches to sword and drill, swift fly over guards like Crystal, tumbling to avoid AoOs, activate's Blackbeard's Heir (smoke aura) and turns to attack guards, four attacks on the single standing archer
[16:08] <Nasturtium> so... that's seven separate tumbles, isn't i?
[16:08] <Nasturtium> *it
[16:09] <Mister_Cavern> Well there's enough space to fly completely over their reach
[16:09] <Nasturtium> hm, and I have enough move
[16:09] <Nasturtium> so that works
[16:10] <Nasturtium> !dice 1d6 smoke screen duration
[16:10] <Yuffie> Nasturtium : Result of 1d6 smoke screen duration : 4
[16:11] <Nasturtium> so everyone within 15' of Nast takes -2 on atk and dam for 4 rounds
[16:11] <Mister_Cavern> Okiedokie
[16:12] <Nasturtium> and I get partial conceal from second rank of guards, and total from front rank
[16:12] <Nasturtium> so, attacks
[16:12] <Nasturtium> !dice 2#1d20+19 Sword then Drill
[16:12] <Yuffie> Nasturtium : Result of 2#1d20+19 Sword then Drill : (3) 22 (8) 27
[16:12] <Nasturtium> !dice 2#1d20+14 iterative attacks
[16:12] <Yuffie> Nasturtium : Result of 2#1d20+14 iterative attacks : (18) 32 (1) 15
[16:13] <Mister_Cavern> Okay, you make one hit with each weapon
[16:14] <Nasturtium> sweet, and he needs to roll vrs entangle DC those attack rolls
[16:15] <Nasturtium> !dice 1d10+9 sword
[16:15] <Yuffie> Nasturtium : Result of 1d10+9 sword : 18
[16:15] <Nasturtium> !dice 1d6+9 drill (ignores hardness/DR)
[16:15] <Yuffie> Nasturtium : Result of 1d6+9 drill (ignores hardness/DR) : 11
[16:15] *** Yuffie quit (*.net *.split)
[16:15] *** Nasturtium quit (*.net *.split)
[16:15] *** Crystal quit (*.net *.split)
[16:15] <Sparkles> -_-
[16:16] <Barzini> (Oh geez.)
[16:16] <Mister_Cavern> ...
[16:16] *** Yuffie (yuffie@Nightstar-d3051a42.irvnca.pacbell.net) joined
[16:16] *** Nasturtium (NSJavaIRC@Nightstar-86052984.scrm01.sbcglobal.net) joined
[16:16] *** rabid_schnauzer (Josh@Nightstar-eeb5173c.pa.comcast.net) joined
[16:16] *** rabid_schnauzer changed nick to Crystal
[16:17] <Barzini> (That's everyone. For now.)
[16:17] <Mister_Cavern> Well, the last guy needn't make rolls, actually, because he falls over. All the archers are taking a nap.
[16:17] <Mister_Cavern> So, Princess Sparkles, your turn!
[16:17] <Nasturtium> alright then
[16:17] * Sparkles positions herself to get as many enemies in a line effect without hitting allies.
[16:17] <Sparkles> "Rainbow Blast Revised! DIVINE BUSTER!"
[16:18] <Sparkles> !dice 5#1d10
[16:18] <Yuffie> Sparkles : Result of 5#1d10 : 9 2 1 3 2
[16:18] <Sparkles> ((acid cold electricity fire sonic))
[16:18] <Sparkles> ((Reflex DC 20 half))
[16:19] <Sparkles> ((knockout if it downs anyone))
[16:19] <Mister_Cavern> Okay~
[16:19] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 6#1d20+10 Reffy half
[16:19] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 6#1d20+10 Reffy half : (20) 30 (3) 13 (18) 28 (18) 28 (11) 21 (8) 18
[16:20] * Nasturtium thinks "hmm... anyone who touches me gets poison from my corset..."
[16:21] <Mister_Cavern> Well, nobody is taken out, but it's clear that nobody has Evasion, as they all stagger about with painful light on them
[16:21] <Mister_Cavern> Oh wait, a line, not a burst. Derp. Well, half of them are hit by the line.
[16:22] <Mister_Cavern> So, back to Barzini!
[16:23] * Barzini charges up and fires off Chain Lightning at a central part of the Phalanx.
[16:23] <Barzini> !dice 9d6 DC 20 Reflex save
[16:23] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 9d6 DC 20 Reflex save : 29
[16:24] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 3#1d20+10 Ref!
[16:24] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 3#1d20+10 Ref! : (3) 13 (13) 23 (9) 19
[16:25] <Mister_Cavern> With a crackle of lightning, the middle row is electrocuted and they all pass out. Front row remaining!
[16:27] * Crystal lost init order in netsplits and wonders if it's her turn?
[16:27] <Barzini> (oh right Johnny)
[16:27] <Mister_Cavern> Johnny, then Crystal
[16:27] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+23 chomp
[16:27] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+23 chomp : (11) 34
[16:27] <Nasturtium> (I think so)
[16:27] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+18 chomp 2
[16:27] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+18 chomp 2 : (2) 20
[16:27] <Nasturtium> (Oh, damn, I forgot about Rammy)
[16:27] <Mister_Cavern> He chomps down on a corner dude, but only once
[16:27] <Barzini> !dice 3d6+11
[16:27] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 3d6+11 : 23
[16:27] <Barzini> (and done)
[16:27] <Mister_Cavern> Corner dude falls over as well
[16:29] <Mister_Cavern> So, Crystal's turn now
[16:30] * Crystal uses Freeze on one of the remaining doodz. He can make a DC 22 Ref Save
[16:30] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+10 no he can't
[16:30] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+10 no he can't : (6) 16
[16:30] <Mister_Cavern> See!
[16:30] <Crystal> or be frozen as a non-mind affecting Hold Monster
[16:31] <Crystal> One left?
[16:31] <Mister_Cavern> Clink. Okay, so one guy remains unfrozen
[16:31] <Mister_Cavern> Well, unfrozen, unasleep
[16:31] <Crystal> moves to melee with him
[16:31] <Crystal> and uses Storm Blade Silver Flash to make melee attack as swift action
[16:31] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+18 Ninja Sword
[16:31] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+18 Ninja Sword : (3) 21
[16:32] <Mister_Cavern> Thanks only to his friends not being up, and him slipping on oil, the blade catches him
[16:32] <Crystal> !dice 2d8+21 slashing and
[16:32] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 2d8+21 slashing and : 23
[16:33] <Crystal> !dice 1d6+8 cold
[16:33] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d6+8 cold : 11
[16:33] <Mister_Cavern> Plonk. This guy also decides it is sleepytime
[16:33] <Mister_Cavern> Everybody has been either frozen or knocked out, and generally looking at being uncomfortable when they get up
[16:33] * Crystal does victory dance
[16:33] <Mister_Cavern> Except for you guys, of course
[16:34] <Nasturtium> "We're gonna need more rope."
[16:34] <Mister_Cavern> And that was my special "Fucking with the party" battle
[16:34] <Barzini> "These weren't such dumb security guards."
[16:37] <Nasturtium> "Well, know they'll be our six pack of clones, waiting for us to die"
[16:38] <Crystal> So, do we press the assault or finish recruiting these guys?
[16:39] <Barzini> "I dunno... they knew we were here when they arrived and prepared these guys to fight us. The rest of them are waiting on a response from them, aren't they?"
[16:39] <Nasturtium> "Tie 'em up, send 'em back to the Psycho Therapists with a note pinned to one of them?"
[16:40] <Nasturtium> "Tie 'em up, send 'em back to the Psycho Therapists with a note pinned to one of them?"
[16:43] * Nasturtium starts looking around for rope while looting bodies
[16:43] <Crystal> No need for that Cap'N
[16:43] <Nasturtium> ??
[16:43] * Crystal uses Create Ice Object to manacle prisoners
[16:43] <Nasturtium> "Sweet!"
[16:44] <Mister_Cavern> Good thinking. That'll be a bit harder to break out of (ie basically impossibly)
[16:44] * Nasturtium writes out a note to Psycho Therapists, "Puppet the weedy guy, make the others back ups of us" and pins it to the weedy guy
[16:45] <Nasturtium> "Alright Rammy, get some bees to take 'em back"
[16:46] <Mister_Cavern> And so, the bees do their job of, as a group, carrying the prisoners back to the therapists...
[16:47] <Mister_Cavern> So, do you guys want to keep going or leave it here for the week?
[16:47] <Nasturtium> I'm going to be up for the next five hours or so...
[16:48] <Barzini> (Not sure which way to go. This seems like a good stopping point, but if there's another good one before long, I could inch forward a bit.)
[16:48] <Sparkles> I need to go in to work pretty early tomorrow so I'd best leave off here
[16:48] <Barzini> (Best to wrap for now.)
[16:48] <Sparkles> If you guys wanted to continue Sparkles could go back with the prisoners
[16:50] <Mister_Cavern> Nah, it's okay - there wasn't going to be an easy wrap-up point, so this is fine to pause at
[16:50] <Crystal> (( my sleep is still all kinds of crazy from work schedule shifts ))
[16:50] *** Sparkles changed nick to Quantumboost
[16:50] <Mister_Cavern> So the team have found that some mook-ish bodyguards are actually quite the pain in the ass when found in groups. Is all training here that good? Will there be more annoyances? We hope not!
[16:51] <Mister_Cavern> Find out next week on TENGEN TOPPA REVOLUTIONARY PRETTY SOLDIER LYRICAL FRIENDSHIP PUNCH PLUS ALPHA

[Chamomile]

Given how long it's been since I dropped, I seriously doubt anyone would want to switch formats just to reintegrate me. But I currently do have semi-regular access to a computer, but do not have any kind of access to a computer that plays nice with IRC. I didn't think I'd ever find a computer that would screw up IRC, but lo and behold. Anyways, on the offchance people would be okay with switching over to Roll20, I can do that and would love to rejoin.

[Koumei]

...how can your PC not use IRC? Surely there's some client that works?

On a related note, I am very resistant to change, personally, and can't be fucked downloading/learning to use a new program.

And here we have today's session:

[12:15] <Koumei> Awesome, that's everyone. I think.
[12:15] <Koumei> Can someone count?
[12:15] <Iori> Yeah that's everyone.
[12:15] *** Koumei changed nick to Mister_Cavern
[12:15] <Mister_Cavern> IT'S TURBO TIME
[12:15] *** Quantumboost changed nick to Sparkles
[12:15] <Iori> Minus Cham, who either uses a Mac or does not have mIRC.
[12:15] *** Prak changed nick to Nasturtium
[12:15] *** Iori changed nick to Barzini
[12:16] *** rabid_schnauzer changed nick to Crystal
[12:16] <Sparkles> XD turbo time
[12:16] * @Crystal ((is pretty sure there are IrC clients even for Macs))
[12:17] <Mister_Cavern> Cham doesn't count, ever since... the accident
[12:17] * Mister_Cavern sniffs
[12:17] <Nasturtium> did he lose his fingers?
[12:18] <Mister_Cavern> Anyway, when last we left off, you had just managed to finally pulverise the 3x3 formation of being a pain in the ass, and their manager. Inside InSecuriCorp HQ (a floating castle)
[12:19] <Nasturtium> I believe we were tying some of them up to ship back to the ship by the BEEEEEEEEEEEEExpress.
[12:19] <Mister_Cavern> Good point, yes. So they're getting shipped back to the ship via BEEEEEEEES
[12:20] <Nasturtium> with a note pinned to the manager asking the Psycho Therapists to make him a mole and the others copies of us
[12:20] * Nasturtium pins said note to the manager's face
[12:21] * @Crystal looks around for the next bunch we're "recruiting"
[12:21] <Mister_Cavern> Well, that seems to be everyone in Recruitment, though there's a small door leading to, if the sign is telling the truth, the HR office
[12:22] * Sparkles poses dramatically as appropriate to the genre she's aping
[12:22] <Nasturtium> Shouldn't that be DR?
[12:22] <Nasturtium> for Demon Resources?
[12:23] <@Crystal> Maybe it stands for "Has Rum" ?
[12:23] <Sparkles> "Clearly then this is the first place we should hit up."
[12:23] <Nasturtium> "Ooh! yes!"
[12:23] <Sparkles> "Maybe we'll even find more friends along with the rum!"
[12:23] <Nasturtium> "Lets go recruit the rum!"
[12:24] <Nasturtium> "And by recruit, I mean to my belly."
[12:24] * @Crystal attempts to open the door to HR
[12:27] <Mister_Cavern> The door opens easily enough, to... a small office. There is a lot of paperwork, stacked in a manner that could be best described as "haphazard"
[12:27] <Nasturtium> "Alright crew, start looking for the rum. Also personal information that could do a lot of damage in the right hands."
[12:28] * Sparkles starts looking around, also activating the poison detection on her glasses
[12:29] * Nasturtium sorts through papers
[12:29] * Barzini takes to a stack of his own.
[12:29] * @Crystal scrunches in through door and knocks a flurry of papers over
[12:33] <Mister_Cavern> No poison is detected, however...
[12:34] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d4 Nasturtium
[12:34] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d4 Nasturtium : 2
[12:34] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d4 Sparkles
[12:34] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d4 Sparkles : 1
[12:34] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d4 Barzini
[12:34] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d4 Barzini : 4
[12:34] <Mister_Cavern> So, Nasturtium finds a list of humans that are being used as resources - currency for trading, building materials. The usual.
[12:35] <Nasturtium> sweet.
[12:36] <Barzini> (What do Sparkles and I get for rolling lower and higher respectively?)
[12:36] <Mister_Cavern> Barzini finds a bunch of job applications. Sparkles finds "Hello there, corporate spy. Guess what anti-espionage security measures we took :D I'll give you a hint: cuttlefish ink, hiss hiss, silly city in a donut, make a Reflex Save." (
[12:37] <Sparkles> !dice 1d20+14 warded reflex
[12:37] <Yuffie> Sparkles : Result of 1d20+14 warded reflex : (8) 22
[12:37] <Nasturtium> "Hey! I found a list of humans being used as money and sheetrock! What'd you guys find?"
[12:37] <Mister_Cavern> Yeah, that saves. By heaps
[12:38] <Sparkles> "I found an attack versus Reflex save."
[12:38] * Barzini looks through the applications for what kind of demons are applying to InsecuriCorp.
[12:38] <Mister_Cavern> Sparkles is not bitten by the magical snake image.
[12:38] <Nasturtium> "Sweet"
[12:39] <Mister_Cavern> Mostly humans, actually - Iron Knights, by the look of things. That said, there are quite a few Gargoyles who are applying, and a few Nekomata too.
[12:39] * Barzini drops the stack back on a desk. "Bunch of job applications."
[12:40] <@Crystal> So none of you guys found the rum either?
[12:40] <Sparkles> "Ooh, we should keep those! Never know when you'll find a really good candidate."
[12:40] <Nasturtium> "We should see if any of them want to work for us"
[12:40] <Nasturtium> "We should also go see about reallocating these resources to Rammy's cargohold."
[12:40] <Barzini> "A lot of humans, a few Nekomata."
[12:41] <Mister_Cavern> (urk, brb, need to go use the lavatory)
[12:41] <Nasturtium> "Bring 'em with us."
[12:41] <Nasturtium> "We'll have one of those group interviews, I'm sure that bar we sold a bunch of BoozeCorp stuff to would love to host us!"
[12:43] <@Crystal> Cap'n when did you start caring if crewmembers *wanted* to work for us?
[12:43] <Nasturtium> "When did I say I did?"
[12:45] * Sparkles pulls out a tape player, from which Nasturtium's voice says "We should see if any of them want to work for us"
[12:46] <Nasturtium> "That doesn't mean I care whether they do or not"
[12:46] <Barzini> "Heheh, is our captain getting tsun~tsun with us?"
[12:49] <Nasturtium> "Nope, just think we could have some fun. Ever conduct an interview drunk?"
[12:50] <@Crystal> Well I know I've never been to one sober
[12:50] <Nasturtium> "Well, there you go!"
[12:54] <Mister_Cavern> (Okay, I'm back)
[12:55] <Nasturtium> (Wb)
[12:57] <Mister_Cavern> So, what are you guys going to do now?
[12:57] <@Crystal> Look for rum elsewhere
[12:57] <Nasturtium> Anything else of note in the room?
[12:57] <Mister_Cavern> Nope, just a mess of paperwork
[12:58] <Nasturtium> alright, any doors other than the one we came through?
[13:00] Disconnected (2012-06-13 13:00:55)
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[13:01] CTCP/TIME request from Kakrafoon.CA.US.Nightstar.Net :
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[13:02] <Sister_Acacia> No other doors in there, no. It's just a little office.
[13:03] <Nasturtium> Alright, guess we'll go back out and- *turns and looks at Crystal wedged in the doorway*
[13:03] *** Mister_Cavern quit (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
[13:03] *** Sister_Acacia changed nick to Mister_Cavern
[13:03] <@Crystal> Sorry, Cap'N I think I broke it
[13:04] <Nasturtium> "hmmm..."
[13:04] * Nasturtium climbs over Crystal
[13:05] <Mister_Cavern> You have defeated [The Door]
[13:06] <Nasturtium> Alright, so then out there, there's the Supplies closet, and nothing really else, right?
[13:06] <Nasturtium> Alright, so then out there, there's the Supplies closet, and nothing really else, right?
[13:07] <Mister_Cavern> Incorrectington
[13:07] <Mister_Cavern> There was another door
[13:07] <Barzini> (we already raided Supplies.)
[13:07] * @Crystal vaguely recalls other rooms off the main hallway
[13:08] <Nasturtium> oh, then lets check out the other door
[13:09] <Mister_Cavern> Wait, there were two others: Canteen and Lobby
[13:09] <Nasturtium> "The canteen! they should have booze!"
[13:09] <Sparkles> "I *am* getting a bit parched..."
[13:10] <@Crystal> Well what are we doing waiting around here?
[13:12] * Nasturtium is already halfway through the canteen door
[13:13] * Sparkles flies after
[13:14] * @Crystal grabs Barzzzz by the arm and drags him along
[13:15] <Barzini> "Whoa..!"
[13:16] <Mister_Cavern> Swoosh! To the Canteen!
[13:17] <Mister_Cavern> There appear to be zero enemies in there. There are some pumpkin pies, but not Pump Kin
[13:17] <Nasturtium> damn, no Pump Kin pies?
[13:19] <Sparkles> Are they made with booze?
[13:19] <Nasturtium> or cream?
[13:19] <Sparkles> Or irish cream?
[13:19] * @Crystal pokes a pie
[13:24] * Barzini scouts who all is in here, other than the crew.
[13:25] * @Crystal licks pie filling off finger suggestively
[13:26] * Nasturtium stares transfixed thinking of the possibilities of Crystal's giant fingers
[13:30] <Mister_Cavern> Okay, there is...
[13:31] <Mister_Cavern> There are several cakes, buns, pies and pastries. They're pretty average, but quite filling it seems. There are also vegetables - a fridge full of fruit and veg
[13:31] * Nasturtium looks for carrots and cucumbers
[13:32] <Mister_Cavern> :|
[13:32] <Barzini> (So nobody's in here but us?)
[13:33] <Mister_Cavern> Correcty Correctington
[13:33] * Barzini sets about getting some prinnies hauling the fresh produce out.
[13:34] * Nasturtium gnaws on a carrot as she starts unloading long, vaguely cylindrical vegetables into Rammy's bag
[13:34] <@Crystal> Pies aren't bad...but where's the rum?
[13:35] <Mister_Cavern> Search czechs!
[13:35] <Barzini> "The mana alchemist is feeding us well but we just don't get too much fresh stuff."
[13:35] <Nasturtium> !dice 1d20+5 search
[13:35] <Yuffie> Nasturtium : Result of 1d20+5 search : (12) 17
[13:35] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+3 INT
[13:35] <Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+3 INT : (17) 20
[13:35] <Nasturtium> "Yeah, always good to have some fresh fruit to stave off scurvy"
[13:36] <@Crystal> !dice 1d20+4 (Int+Allocated Jutsu Point)
[13:36] <Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+4 (Int+Allocated Jutsu Point) : (16) 20
[13:37] <Sparkles> "Mmmmm fructose."
[13:38] <Mister_Cavern> Okay~ Barzini and Crystal have found a couple of hidden fridges - you need to undo a latch to remove a panel from the counter. These fridges have cans of drink: soda, ice water, magma, rum, rum and soda, vodka, beer, prinny juice
[13:39] * @Crystal wonders how one juices a Prinny without making it explode
[13:39] * Barzini makes a face. "... ... ... ... ... ... canned... vodka...?"
[13:40] <Nasturtium> maybe you just make the prinny explode in a durable case with a trough?
[13:40] * Nasturtium pulls out a can of rum and soda
[13:40] <Nasturtium> "Send the magma to the ships Gunnery Sergeant."
[13:40] * Sparkles starts in on a can of vodka
[13:41] * Barzini bigsweats, "They're pretty strong but they must not be too bright. Haven't the security pigs learned anything about canned beer and canned soda?"
[13:41] * @Crystal curiously mixes Prinny juice with a Rum and Soda
[13:41] * Barzini takes the soda.
[13:42] <@Crystal> What's wrong with canned beer?
[13:42] <Barzini> "It's not in a bottle! That's what's wrong with it!"
[13:42] <@Crystal> The cans keep the light out and the alcohol in
[13:43] <@Crystal> Although they don't break as neatly when you have to hit someone over the head with one...I suppose that is a downside
[13:43] * Barzini scratches the back of his head, "Sparkles, since you volunteered to be the guinea pig, tell us how the canned vodka works out for you."
[13:43] <Sparkles> "Tastes like alcohol."
[13:43] <Mister_Cavern> (Canned vodka+softdrink is tasty)
[13:44] <Nasturtium> (...damnit, now I the player want booze. I have no mixers...)
[13:44] <Barzini> (I have never even seen canned vodka for sale. :o )
[13:44] <Nasturtium> (Japan, I'd bet my life on it)
[13:44] <Sparkles> "And yes, my biochemistry can detect alcohol as a flavor."
[13:44] <@Crystal> (( almost bought some at the State Store last week, but went with Frangelica instead ))
[13:45] <Nasturtium> "The flavour of alcohol is the entire reason I drink. Or at least the reason I don't like girly drinks"
[13:46] <@Crystal> (( also, Prak, if you weren't on the other side of the continent you could have some of my sours mix ))
[13:47] <@Crystal> "So they saw us coming and left just those 9 guys and the ossifer to guard the place? They left all this booze and their bear traps unguarded?"
[13:48] <Nasturtium> ((damn it. I actually just found two bottles of Morgans in the garage last night. Need to see how old they are, but Rum doesn't really go bad, does it?))
[13:48] <@Crystal> "I thought this was a security division - woulda expected it to be more, I dunno, SECURE...?"
[13:48] <Nasturtium> "Clearly, if they are leaving the booze and bear traps unguarded, they must have even better things that actually are being guarded."
[13:49] <Sparkles> "Like... superbooze?"
[13:49] <Nasturtium> "...or maybe they're banking on us getting shitfaced so we're easier to beat. They don't know us very well..."
[13:49] <Sparkles> "Or amphetamines?"
[13:49] * Nasturtium *dookdookdook*
[13:49] <@Crystal> (( if they are unopened, they should be fine...opened they still are 40% something that kills microbes ))
[13:49] * Barzini cracks open a soda and sips it. "Those guys were pretty tough. Maybe they were expected to handle everything."
[13:49] <Nasturtium> ((I'll check 'em out tonight. I need to refill my booze stash))
[13:50] <@Crystal> "So, did everyone else run when they saw us coming?"
[13:50] <Nasturtium> "Well, there is more to this floating fortress that we haven't checked out yet"
[13:56] <Barzini> (Supplies, HR, the recruitment office, the canteen, that was all of the rooms we knew about I think.)
[13:56] <Mister_Cavern> and the lobby
[13:56] <@Crystal> "Wasn't there a lobby? Maybe it's full of lobsterman or lobbiests or lobstionistas?"
[13:56] <Nasturtium> ((didn't we land on a lower level of the fortress?))
[13:57] <Nasturtium> "Or Lobbers."
[13:57] <Mister_Cavern> Yeah, you're in the lowest level.
[13:58] <@Crystal> (( So there's more fortress when we level up ? ))
[13:59] <Nasturtium> "Well, too the lobby! Let's clear this level out! Crystal, get the drinks fridge, will you?"
[13:59] * @Crystal hefts fridges
[13:59] <Mister_Cavern> ...sure
[14:00] <Nasturtium> ((I'm thinking like minibar fridge. Also I thought only one had drinks))
[14:00] <Mister_Cavern> And so, the lobby: it's quite spacious! There is a nice shiny steel counter with a clerk (rather weedy, truth be told) standing behind it, and a nice double staircase to the second level
[14:00] <Mister_Cavern> There are two minibar fridges with drinks, and a proper fridge full of fruit and veg
[14:01] <Nasturtium> hmm... one minibar fridge could probably hold all the drinks piled together if racks were taken out, couldn't it?
[14:01] <Nasturtium> And prinnies came and rounded up the fruit and veg, I think
[14:02] * @Crystal sorts the soda and ice water into one minifridge, leaves the magma for E-Can and takes the fridge with the Rum and Vodka in to.
[14:02] <Nasturtium> "Hi there, secretary? How do you like work here?"
[14:03] <Mister_Cavern> "It's acceptable. Why do you ask? And please, I'm clerk, not a secretary. I wear trousers, not a short skirt."
[14:04] * Barzini grins, "You've got committment sticking to your post after we came along."
[14:04] * Nasturtium grins "Would you like to wear a short skirt? We could use a secretary... damned ship is starting to look like a hotel..."
[14:06] <Mister_Cavern> "I don't think I have the legs for a skirt", he replies with a shrug. He seems pretty noncommital about the whole thing - probably easy to lean on.
[14:07] * Nasturtium crumples her can and tosses it over her shoulder. Her vines grab two new ones from the fridge, "Here, have a drink on me. What can we expect as we head up?"
[14:09] <Barzini> "Could you tell us which office has the papers on companies you work for?"
[14:11] <Mister_Cavern> "Well, you can expect the Beefening Room, where we prepare beef and feed it to workers to toughen them up. All employees have a diet of Beer And Meat (BAM) for the first year of service. There is also a gym, and a Deployment Office - that's where the info is."
[14:11] <Nasturtium> "How much resistance?"
[14:12] <Barzini> "Good! If you were telling the truth, you'll be spared when we're done upstairs."
[14:12] <@Crystal> "Pshah! Only Beer. Anyone can handle 6 of those"
[14:13] <Mister_Cavern> He starts drinking up. "Oh, I think President Yellow Light Life is in at the moment. He fights with some kind of spear thing. Probably has his Gargoyle bodyguards, Umad? and LOVE Injector <3"
[14:14] <Nasturtium> "Ever think about a change in jobs?"
[14:15] * Barzini deadpans, "Yellow Light Life...? U...mad...? ... L--... now you're pulling our chain, aren't you?"
[14:15] <Nasturtium> "Would you really be surprised? I'm named after a variety of floating aquatic plant life..."
[14:15] <Mister_Cavern> "Don't blame me, I don't run the random name generator"
[14:15] <@Crystal> "Maybe we should do them a favor and raid their random name generator next?"
[14:16] <Barzini> "We'd have to pay just to get rid of it."
[14:17] <Sparkles> "Where's a disenchanter when you need one..."
[14:17] <@Crystal> "Cap'n, I thought you were named for your reptile summoning abilities."
[14:18] <Nasturtium> "Nope. And my dad wasn't named for a sword, either."
[14:19] <@Crystal> Fascinating, but shouldn't we tip this bellhop and move on to the Beef?
[14:19] <Barzini> "You all know where your names came from...?"
[14:20] <Nasturtium> "You're right, Crystal. Give this guy another can, and Barz, hand him a blank application, if you have one."
[14:21] * Barzini hands the clerk one of the documents from the HR room, then starts looking for a way upstairs. "I'm Barzini, and that's all there is to it! It's a fine name for the best ex-naval officer ever."
[14:21] <Barzini> (Although actually, he was named after the family that posed the biggest threat to the Corleones in The Godfather.)
[14:21] * Nasturtium reaches over and turns Barz's head towards the big double staircase
[14:22] * @Crystal grudingly gives the clerk a can of rum and soda
[14:22] <@Crystal> "There you are my good man"
[14:23] <Nasturtium> ((Nasturtium is the genus name of water lilies, Gladiolus is part of the scientific name for gladiolas))
[14:23] <Barzini> "Ah...right..."
[14:24] <@Crystal> "I'm named for high-end champagne, because of my bubbly personality !!!"
[14:24] <Nasturtium> "You spell it wrong, then, I think."
[14:24] <Sparkles> "I'm named for a half-elf character from Tales of Symphonia and a shiny metal."
[14:25] <Sparkles> "Because magic powers are awesome."
[14:26] <@Crystal> (( that's the joke, Crystal doesn't even quite get her own name right ))
[14:27] <Nasturtium> ((heh))
[14:27] * Nasturtium drags her crew up the stairs
[14:27] <@Crystal> "Bah. Stairs are for those without wings!"
[14:30] <Mister_Cavern> And so, you can go to the second floor, where there are helpful signs pointing to "Gym", "Beefening Room", "Beerification Room" and "Deployment Office
[14:31] * Nasturtium looks from Beerification Room to the fridge, "Crystal, how much space do we have in there?"
[14:31] <@Crystal> So, Liquor first, then Beer?
[14:32] <Nasturtium> well, of course
[14:32] <@Crystal> "As much as we need Cap'N. Don't forget that I AM a refrigerator"
[14:33] * @Crystal makes it snow in a medium radius
[14:33] * Nasturtium looks Crystal up and down sidelong looking for a handle
[14:34] * Sparkles facepalm
[14:34] <Nasturtium> hmm... Ice box from create ice object. I like it
[14:36] <Mister_Cavern> So the Beerification Room?
[14:36] <Nasturtium> yeah
[14:40] <Mister_Cavern> Well, inside you find... you guessed it. Beer. There is a massive trough of beer, kept full by pumps and pipes, and a few hell hounds and nekomata are just lapping away at the beer.
[14:41] <Barzini> "New recruits."
[14:41] <Mister_Cavern> The noises seem to be that of a factory, despite there being little in the way of factory equipment - clanging, steam whistles blowing, cranking, engines...
[14:41] <Nasturtium> "So how do they keep you guys supplied with beer?"
[14:44] <Mister_Cavern> "Nyan? Raiding I guess"
[14:44] <Nasturtium> "Really? Damn, I was hoping they had a decanter of endless beer."
[14:45] * Nasturtium sits down on the floor leaning against the trough. "So you guys are new recruits, right?"
[14:47] <Mister_Cavern> "Yeah, we're in our first year"
[14:47] <Nasturtium> "Perfect! You must be the guys they're training for BoozeCorp's new management!"
[14:48] <Nasturtium> (Bluff?)
[14:48] <Mister_Cavern> "Roo?" a hell hound asks, looking confused. (Yes, Bluff)
[14:48] <Mister_Cavern> To be fair, it's a dog, it's always going to look confused.
[14:48] <Nasturtium> !dice 1d20+13
[14:48] <Yuffie> Nasturtium : Result of 1d20+13 : (5) 18
[14:48] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+1 Sense Motive!
[14:48] <Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+1 Sense Motive! : (2) 3
[14:48] <Mister_Cavern> hahaha
[14:49] <Nasturtium> "Yep, we told InSecuriCorp that we needed new bodyguards, I think you are the guys they hired!"
[14:49] <Mister_Cavern> "Oh sweet, we get to be the new management?" "I never realised advancement and promotion were so quick in this place!"
[14:49] <Sparkles> XD
[14:50] <@Crystal> "Oh, there's a lot you haven't realized yet" *giggle*
[14:50] <Nasturtium> "No, no, *we're* the new management, you're our new bodyguards"
[14:50] <Mister_Cavern> "Oh, right... I guess that makes more sense"
[14:51] <Nasturtium> "And I think it's time to step up your training. Your first task will be to help us find the source of beer here."
[14:52] <Mister_Cavern> "You mean aside from the trough here?"
[14:52] <Nasturtium> "Yes, aside from the trough."
[14:53] * Nasturtium pats the nekomata's head
[14:53] <Mister_Cavern> The hell hound points at the pipes. "I guess it's just a case of following those."
[14:55] <Nasturtium> "Sharp mind like that could have a promotion in it's future. Bring us the supply, and it could happen pretty quick"
[14:58] <Mister_Cavern> "Roger that!" They quickly head off, forgetting the whole "bodyguard" thing and searching for the beer supply.
[14:59] * Nasturtium pushes herself up from the floor, "Well that was easy. To the Beefening Room?"
[14:59] <Barzini> "Bring on the beef."
[15:00] <Sparkles> "I prefer it in LCL form, but sure..."
[15:00] <@Crystal> "Ellsie Ell? Who's that?"
[15:01] <Sparkles> "Freaky alien angel blood goo."
[15:01] <@Crystal> "So Angels bleed beef? Wow - I nevver knew that"
[15:02] <Nasturtium> "Weird."
[15:02] * Barzini heads to the Beefening Room.
[15:02] <@Crystal> 'me follows Barzinapper
[15:03] * Nasturtium heads in as well
[15:04] * Sparkles looks for teh beefiness
[15:06] <Mister_Cavern> Inside the Beefinator... there are massive slabs of meat, hanging off meat hooks. This doesn't look grisly, they're big legs of beef and stuff, already cooked and looking comically delicious.
[15:06] * Nasturtium grabs a leg and starts gnawing
[15:06] <Mister_Cavern> It is indeed delicious and healthy!
[15:06] * Sparkles tries to drink one of the legs, then gives up and gnaws as well
[15:07] <Nasturtium> "Well, the crew should love that we did this job... Barz, can you have E-Can cart some of this back to our cook?"
[15:07] * @Crystal hums Eye of the Tiger
[15:07] * Barzini calls upon the prinnies, then tears off some ribs for himself.
[15:11] * @Crystal looks around to see if anyone else is being beefinated
[15:11] <Mister_Cavern> "Dood!" "Lookit all the meat, dood!"
[15:11] <Mister_Cavern> Nobody else is in at the moment - though by the pile of polished bones, it appears they recently were
[15:11] <@Crystal> Well then, after we eat, we need to come up with a ploy
[15:12] * Nasturtium eyes the bone pile "Well, I'm considering making some cow skeletons..."
[15:13] <Barzini> "Not bad, but our new cook does better."
[15:15] <Mister_Cavern> So, next move?
[15:15] <Nasturtium> can I actually get a complete skeleton or two here?
[15:15] * Barzini looks in the Gym real quick.
[15:15] <@Crystal> "We're going to need at least two ploys"
[15:18] * @Crystal follows Barz into the Gym
[15:20] * Sparkles investigates the Deployment Office while they're at it
[15:21] <Mister_Cavern> Not really, Nast, they're just leg bones
[15:22] <Nasturtium> figured it was worth asking
[15:22] <Mister_Cavern> The gym has a bunch of orcs, humans and ghosts lifting weights. Yes really.
[15:22] * Nasturtium checks out the gym
[15:22] <Nasturtium> ...
[15:22] * Nasturtium finds a nice spot to sit and watch
[15:22] <Mister_Cavern> The Deployment Office has a grim looking elderly gentleman, quite fit, with a glaive and a chiseled beard, smoking a cigar behind a desk while flanked by two gargoyles. He is reading a report and laughing to himself.
[15:24] <Barzini> "Eh... figures."
[15:24] * @Crystal looks around to see who's lifting biggest weights
[15:25] <@Crystal> "What figures?"
[15:25] <@Crystal> "Or is it whose figures?
[15:26] * @Crystal asks jealously
[15:26] <Barzini> "I was hoping there'd be something good, but it's just a sweaty place full of people pumping iron."
[15:27] * Sparkles takes a look at the report, curious what's so amusing.
[15:27] <Barzini> "I have the Horse Wiener, I'm done with exercise. Moving on!"
[15:28] <@Crystal> "Yeah. What's the point in lifting things that don't have alcohol in them?"
[15:28] * @Crystal tosses fridge from hand to hand for emphasis
[15:28] <Mister_Cavern> The strongest is an orc, yeah.
[15:29] <Mister_Cavern> "What? Alcohol? WHERE?"
[15:29] <Barzini> "H-hey, don't drop that thing!"
[15:29] <Nasturtium> "Eh, guess we better go look for that Yellow Light Guy, come one, let's go."
[15:29] * Barzini ducks out to flee to the Deployment Room.
[15:29] <Mister_Cavern> As for the report, the gentleman puts it down when he sees Sparkles. "Excuse me, I don't think you belong in here."
[15:29] <@Crystal> "Bzzzbzz, wait!"
[15:30] <@Crystal> "We can't go to the deployment room without a ploy!"
[15:30] <@Crystal> "And where's Sparkles get off to?"
[15:30] <Sparkles> "Eh? What makes you say that?"
[15:30] <Barzini> "We're sabotaging EvilCorp, remember?"
[15:31] <Sparkles> "I *am* here, so clearly this is where I am."
[15:31] <Sparkles> "And thus where I belong.
[15:31] <Sparkles> "
[15:31] <Sparkles> "Otherwise I'd be somewhere else."
[15:33] <@Crystal> "but we should have a spare, that way if we get DE-ployed, we still have one"
[15:33] <Nasturtium> "...Crystal, just carry the booze. I think Sparkles is already in there anyway"
[15:33] <@Crystal> "Aye Aye Cap'N"
[15:34] <Mister_Cavern> He slowly rises, properly wielding his glaive at about the time the others rock up. "I think... you ought to leave. But I imagine that isn't going to happen. Am I correct? I don't suppose you'll just leave if I let you take the Beer Generator?"
[15:35] <Nasturtium> "Nah, we already got our new bodyguards working on that"
[15:35] <Sparkles> "Oh, captain! We were just discussing the basis of Correspondence theory as it relates to idealism and fate. Good of you to drop by."
[15:36] <Nasturtium> "Perfect! I have some interesting thoughts as it relates to my bullets and him! Shall we discuss!?"
[15:36] <Mister_Cavern> "In that case... I think we know what happens now. Witness the technique I was taught by Master Schniezel! CHECKMATE, MOTHERFUCKER!"
[15:36] <Mister_Cavern> And on that note... we shall call it
[15:36] <Nasturtium> damnit
[15:37] <@Crystal> "Gesundheit!"
[15:38] <Mister_Cavern> What lies in store for the party now that they are ready to assault Yellow Light Life? Is there something sinister about the Random Name Generator Disgaea 4 uses? What could this fight be? How much colon will the party stomp? Tune in next time, on Etc. Etc. Friendship Punch!

[Koumei]

[13:43] <Mister_Cavern> So, when last we left off, things were just starting to take a turn for the painful - for someone! It appears that someone, who may or may not be Sparkles, has run into the boss of InSecuriCorp, and he is ready to go violent.
[13:45] <Mister_Cavern> The others are thankfully rushing in, but basically, this means that the Ninja Round is spent "getting there fast", so Nasturtium and Sparkles can start the combat. Everyone else still rolls Initiative with them, but only rocks up for next turn.
[13:45] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+4 initiating
[13:45] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+4 initiating : (16) 20
[13:45] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+5 init
[13:45] <@Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+5 init : (20) 25
[13:46] <Barzini> (A good start.)
[13:46] <nasturtium> !dice 1d20+5
[13:46] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 1d20+5 : (19) 24
[13:46] <Sparkles> !dice 1d20+0 initiative
[13:46] <@Yuffie> Sparkles : Result of 1d20+0 initiative : 13
[13:46] <nasturtium> curse you Barz
[13:46] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+4 the bad guy
[13:46] <@Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+4 the bad guy : (8) 12
[13:46] * Crystal tries to remember which moves are legal in chess
[13:48] <Mister_Cavern> So: [Barzini], Nasturtium, [Crystal], Sparkles, President, Bodyguards - Nasturtium, go! There are two Gargoyles diagonally behind the president, who is in turn behind a desk. Sparkles is close to the desk, you're in the doorway opposite it
[13:49] * nasturtium fires off a shot from each gun at the gargoyles, DW to her left, SR to her right
[13:49] <nasturtium> !dice 1d20+17 DW
[13:49] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 1d20+17 DW : (13) 30
[13:50] <nasturtium> !dice 1d20+17 SR
[13:50] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 1d20+17 SR : (6) 23
[13:50] <Mister_Cavern> Ping! The Death Whisper bullet explodes against the body of the first one, harmlessly. The other guy is less fortunate, because dem touch attacks~
[13:51] <nasturtium> !dice 3d6+5
[13:51] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 3d6+5 : 16
[13:52] <nasturtium> damned natural armour
[13:52] <Mister_Cavern> Fwush! He doesn't seem to be *too* harmed by it, but it's less than pleasant.
[13:53] <nasturtium> "Crystal- Smash!"
[13:53] * Crystal is rushing to the scene this round
[13:53] <Mister_Cavern> Sparkles!
[13:55] * Sparkles points at the President and fires a pair of Searing Light blasts
[13:56] <Mister_Cavern> (Is that Ref Save?)
[13:56] <Sparkles> !dice 2#1d20+14
[13:56] <@Yuffie> Sparkles : Result of 2#1d20+14 : (2) 16 (5) 19
[13:56] <Sparkles> ((touch attack))
[13:56] <Sparkles> ((spell resist yes if that's important))
[13:58] * Crystal contemplates more Schnappsdae
[13:58] <Sparkles> ((also, it matters if he's undead or "particularly vulnerable to sunlight"))
[13:58] <Mister_Cavern> He nimbly dodges the first... only for the second to smack him in the face! Yep, test for SR
[13:58] <Sparkles> !dice 1d20+9
[13:58] <@Yuffie> Sparkles : Result of 1d20+9 : (11) 20
[13:58] <Mister_Cavern> That's enough to do it! It's regularly effective
[13:59] <Sparkles> !dice 4d8
[13:59] <@Yuffie> Sparkles : Result of 4d8 : 24
[13:59] <Mister_Cavern> He finds it most unpleasant! And now he acts...
[14:01] <Mister_Cavern> He takes the one step needed, thanks to his glaive's reach, and shouts "SECRET ENLIGHTENED TECHNIQUE! TENSION COMBO!"
[14:01] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 4#1d20+17 attacks
[14:01] <@Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 4#1d20+17 attacks : (17) 34 (8) 25 (5) 22 (2) 19
[14:02] <Sparkles> ((Ward on whoever he's attacking))
[14:02] <Mister_Cavern> (That would be you~)
[14:02] <Sparkles> ((all hit))
[14:02] <Mister_Cavern> D:
[14:03] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 4#1d10+11 hurting
[14:03] <@Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 4#1d10+11 hurting : 20 13 21 18
[14:05] <Sparkles> ((Ouch. Negative 22.))
[14:05] <Mister_Cavern> If it's relevant, his intention is to capture all of you for questioning and reprogramming, so he will go for the KO
[14:05] <Mister_Cavern> ...it's relevant
[14:06] * Barzini gawks, "That's your Schnauzer technique!?"
[14:06] <Mister_Cavern> And with that, the gargoyles laugh to themselves, thinking it's awesome... and the slightly singed, lithe one leaps into the air, turning into a massive hammer for the more armoured one to wield!
[14:07] <Mister_Cavern> He then leaps forward, away from his boss' protective abilities, and tries to charge Nasturtium
[14:07] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+18 to hit
[14:07] <@Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+18 to hit : (2) 20
[14:08] <nasturtium> who nimbly dodges out of the way
[14:08] <Mister_Cavern> Right, so top of the list: Barzini!
[14:09] <Barzini> "The Schnauzer guy is big trouble!"
[14:10] * Barzini casts Electric Shield, generating a nice sparkly globe of energy around himself. (+4 to deflection AC, 9d8 elec vs. successful melee attacks, which may push enemies back)
[14:11] <Barzini> <Johnny> *attacks Prez*
[14:11] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+23 chomp
[14:11] <@Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+23 chomp : (14) 37
[14:11] <Barzini> !dice 3d6+11 chomp damage
[14:12] <@Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 3d6+11 chomp damage : 16
[14:12] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+31 Grapple for Improved Grab if relevant
[14:12] <@Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+31 Grapple for Improved Grab if relevant : (13) 44
[14:13] <Barzini> (and done.)
[14:13] <Mister_Cavern> He is very much chomped!
[14:13] <Mister_Cavern> Also he is grabbed - he can't beat that, so he is held by fangs.
[14:13] <Crystal> Landsharked!
[14:14] <Mister_Cavern> Also there is a hole in the wall made by Johnny - he needed to expand the door to get through, and that's not an issue for him.
[14:14] <Mister_Cavern> So, Nasturtium! Remember there's a gargoyle-wielding gargoyle in front of you
[14:15] * nasturtium switches to melee and whales on the gargoyle wielding gargoyle with a genuine moon-tongue katana and EMPEROR DRILL
[14:15] <nasturtium> but before that... she allocates jutsu to atk and activates monk style
[14:16] <nasturtium> !dice 2#1d20+15 MB/ED
[14:16] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 2#1d20+15 MB/ED : (17) 32 (8) 23
[14:16] <nasturtium> !dice 2#1d20+10 MB/ED
[14:16] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 2#1d20+10 MB/ED : (14) 24 (5) 15
[14:17] <nasturtium> all four attacks force saves against Entangle
[14:17] <nasturtium> oh, no, Escape Artist vrs the attack roll
[14:17] <nasturtium> fail=entangle
[14:18] <nasturtium> ...and each of those attacks are five points higher... sorry
[14:20] <Mister_Cavern> A single Moon Blade attack hits, just clipping him! And he can't pass the Escape Artist check, so is entangled now
[14:20] <nasturtium> !dice 1d10+5
[14:20] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 1d10+5 : 7
[14:20] * Crystal ((prolly shouldn't have had the 2nd schnappsdae...))
[14:21] <Mister_Cavern> There are sparks as the sword grates along him. Do you beat /Adamantine or /-?
[14:21] <nasturtium> I don't believe so
[14:21] <nasturtium> and now really wish the drill had hit...
[14:22] <nasturtium> Rammy summons BEES, possibly baali style, on the executive, and smacks the gargoyle around with her electrified three section staff
[14:22] <Mister_Cavern> He does not seem too put out, then. So... Crystal?
[14:22] <Mister_Cavern> Aha!
[14:22] <nasturtium> ((Cohort))
[14:22] <nasturtium> !dice 1d20+14
[14:22] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 1d20+14 : (12) 26
[14:22] <nasturtium> !d20+9
[14:22] <nasturtium> !dcice 1d20+9
[14:22] <nasturtium> ...
[14:23] <nasturtium> !dice 1d20+9
[14:23] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 1d20+9 : (16) 25
[14:23] <nasturtium> ((so... Shocking Grasp on Green mage, 1d6/class level or character level?))
[14:23] <Mister_Cavern> Thanks to being all entangled, she can slide up and smack him twice upside the head
[14:24] <Mister_Cavern> character
[14:24] <nasturtium> cool
[14:24] <nasturtium> !dice 14d6 Electric
[14:24] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 14d6 Electric : 45
[14:25] <nasturtium> !dice 2#1d8+5 bludgeon
[14:25] <Mister_Cavern> Zap! It has a noticeable effect!
[14:25] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 2#1d8+5 bludgeon : 6 12
[14:25] <Mister_Cavern> He is rather hurt, but doesn't drop.
[14:25] <Mister_Cavern> So, hair-fired-beeeeeeees damage on the prez?
[14:26] <nasturtium> ((as bats, I guess?))
[14:26] <nasturtium> ((or spiders?))
[14:26] <nasturtium> ((eh, guess it's as spiders, 1d6 plus poison))
[14:27] <Mister_Cavern> (Regular wasps)
[14:27] <nasturtium> (( or hellwasp :3 ))
[14:27] <Mister_Cavern> (1d6 plus poison)
[14:27] <nasturtium> ((kk))
[14:27] <nasturtium> !dice 1d6
[14:27] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 1d6 : 4
[14:27] <nasturtium> and... poison... there isn't a wasp swarm so... iunnno
[14:28] <Mister_Cavern> Totally is: Fiend Folio. And he can't fail the save.
[14:28] <nasturtium> ah, ok
[14:28] <Mister_Cavern> But he is stung by the wasps, and has no DR
[14:28] <Mister_Cavern> So, Crystal!
[14:28] * Crystal rushes into room and attempts to fulfill the Cap'ns order to "Smash" as best she can
[14:30] * Crystal allocates jutsu point to +2 to hit as free action
[14:31] * Crystal moves (if necessary) into position to melee with chomped prez
[14:31] <Mister_Cavern> Yeah, you'll need a Move Action to get in
[14:32] * Crystal takes Ninja class Surprise AoO against him (since he loses Dex bonus while grappling)
[14:32] <Mister_Cavern> (Yep)
[14:32] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+20
[14:32] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+20 : (11) 31
[14:33] <Mister_Cavern> Bang, you got him!
[14:33] <Crystal> !dice 2d8+21 slashage and
[14:33] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 2d8+21 slashage and : 31
[14:33] <Crystal> !dice 1d6+8 cold
[14:33] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d6+8 cold : 12
[14:34] <Mister_Cavern> He's still standing (even if most of his upper body is in Johnny's mouth), but quite badly injured.
[14:34] * Crystal follows up with Storm Blade Silver Flash swift action attack
[14:35] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+20
[14:35] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+20 : (14) 34
[14:35] <Mister_Cavern> Hits!
[14:35] <Crystal> !dice 2d8+21 more slashage
[14:35] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 2d8+21 more slashage : 36
[14:35] <Crystal> !dice 1d6+8 more cold
[14:35] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d6+8 more cold : 9
[14:35] <Mister_Cavern> And he's down!
[14:36] <Mister_Cavern> He goes limp in Johnny's mouth, having been chopped really badly.
[14:36] <Crystal> (( is gargoyle in reach ? ))
[14:36] <Mister_Cavern> Thanks to your size, yes
[14:36] * Crystal uses standard action for 2 weapon attack or gargoyle
[14:37] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+20 Ninja Sword
[14:37] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+20 Ninja Sword : (17) 37
[14:37] <Crystal> !dice 1d20+20 BoBBB
[14:37] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d20+20 BoBBB : (14) 34
[14:37] <Mister_Cavern> Both attacks hit, what with him being all flanked and entangled
[14:38] <Crystal> !dice 2d8+21 NS slashing and
[14:38] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 2d8+21 NS slashing and : 24
[14:38] <Crystal> !dice 1d6+8 NS cold
[14:38] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d6+8 NS cold : 10
[14:38] <Mister_Cavern> Do you pierce /Adamantine or /-?
[14:38] <Crystal> !dice 1d8+18 BoBBB slashing and
[14:38] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d8+18 BoBBB slashing and : 23
[14:38] <Crystal> !dice 1d6+8 BoBBB cold
[14:38] <@Yuffie> Crystal : Result of 1d6+8 BoBBB cold : 10
[14:38] <Crystal> (( no, but the cold is energy damage ))
[14:39] <Crystal> (( also there's a targeted dispel on BoBBB and a Fort Save vs Combat Style daze if those matter ))
[14:39] <Mister_Cavern> He resists remarkably well, but the blades still bite through his hard stone body, and the ice is super effective!
[14:39] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+14 Fort
[14:39] <@Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+14 Fort : (9) 23
[14:39] <Mister_Cavern> No need to Dispel
[14:40] <Crystal> (( save DC is only 21, so no daze ))
[14:40] * Crystal yells "Sparkles! Oh no no no no."
[14:40] * Crystal is done, next
[14:41] <Mister_Cavern> So, he's still sort of standing. If a bit entangled. Barzini!
[14:41] <Mister_Cavern> Er wait
[14:41] <Mister_Cavern> Hang on... no, Crystal (down). So... gargoyle!
[14:42] <Mister_Cavern> He tries flapping his wings, lifts the hammer which seems to be growing even larger...
[14:42] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+24 attack against Nasturtium and Rammy
[14:42] <@Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+24 attack against Nasturtium and Rammy : (8) 32
[14:43] <Mister_Cavern> But Crystal is too far away to slam with the hammer
[14:43] <nasturtium> ow...
[14:44] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d8+7 Bludgeoning and knocked Prone and count as Small for 1 turn
[14:44] <@Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d8+7 Bludgeoning and knocked Prone and count as Small for 1 turn : 13
[14:44] <nasturtium> ((I don't suppose this counts as touching me for my corset, does it?))
[14:44] <Mister_Cavern> (It does)
[14:44] <Crystal> yay reactive clothing
[14:45] <nasturtium> so, fort save vrs death
[14:45] <nasturtium> success means 1d6 con instead
[14:46] <nasturtium> DC 17
[14:47] <Mister_Cavern> !dice 1d20+14 Fort!
[14:47] <@Yuffie> Mister_Cavern : Result of 1d20+14 Fort! : (9) 23
[14:47] <nasturtium> !dice 1d6 con!
[14:47] <@Yuffie> nasturtium : Result of 1d6 con! : 2
[14:47] <Mister_Cavern> He is most resistant
[14:48] <Mister_Cavern> He then spends a Swift action not being Con-damaged~
[14:48] <Mister_Cavern> So, Barzini!
[14:49] * Crystal (( almost regrets writing that armor now......))
[14:49] * nasturtium ((likes her green corset. It goes nicely with her skin, and attittude))
[14:49] <Mister_Cavern> ((which armour's that?))
[14:50] * Barzini fires an Orb of Electricity at the gargoyle, 'lest he accidentally electrocute Johnny.
[14:50] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+14 touch (+17 if within 30')
[14:50] <@Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+14 touch (+17 if within 30') : (7) 21
[14:51] <Mister_Cavern> I assure you, you're within 30'. So crackle-zap! He's shocked!
[14:51] <nasturtium> ((well, mine's an emerald corset, so, more deadly version of the Ruby Corset someone else has, it occurs to me that he may be talking about something else)
[14:51] <Barzini> !dice 9d6 (+9 if within 30')
[14:51] <@Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 9d6 (+9 if within 30') : 27
[14:51] <Barzini> <Johnny> *clamps down harder*
[14:52] <Barzini> !dice 1d20+31 Pin
[14:52] <@Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 1d20+31 Pin : (11) 42
[14:52] <Mister_Cavern> He is even more zapped, and although he's still standing... he slumps a little. "Okay okay, I give! Can I surrender here? Boss is totally beat after all."
[14:52] <Barzini> !dice 3d6+11
[14:52] <@Yuffie> Barzini : Result of 3d6+11 : 21
[14:52] <Mister_Cavern> The president is well into the negatives, so defeated. Depending on what you want, he might be bitten in half now.
[14:52] <Barzini> <Johnny> Mmp mmph?
[14:53] <nasturtium> "No! He'll be an awesome puppet!"
[14:53] <Barzini> (Oh, hadn't realized. Johnny's probably chewing on him in a nonlethal fashion, then.)
[14:54] <Barzini> "Well, you don't have boobs or a fashionable Gimmick Body upgrade... but okay, surrender and be my vassal!"
[14:55] <Mister_Cavern> He drops his hammer and kneels. "Sure, I surrender right here and now!"
[14:55] <nasturtium> "Hey, a guy that gives a good pounding like that? You can be our vassals!"
[14:55] * Crystal continues smashing, moving on to the desk
[14:55] <nasturtium> "Crystal- stop smashing."
[14:55] <Mister_Cavern> I'll let you automatically obliterate that if you like
[14:56] <Crystal> "**CRUNCH** Aye Aye Cap"n"
[14:56] <Mister_Cavern> So, the desk is now splinters.
[14:57] * Crystal rushes concerned to Sparkles
[14:57] * nasturtium pushes herself up from the floor
[14:57] * Sparkles attempts to self-rez and cast frost shock, but FAILS
[14:57] <Mister_Cavern> Sparkles is out cold, and has some serious cuts on her face and torso, but is not bleeding out.
[14:58] * Barzini pinches Sparkles' cheeks and stretches them to see if she'll wake up.
[14:58] <Barzini> "Hey, can you heal yourself?"
[14:58] * Crystal applies cold compress to Sparkles'
[14:59] * nasturtium grabs a can of rum and soda from Crystal's saddle bags and pours it down Sparkles' throat
[15:00] <Mister_Cavern> ...I guess that passes for Curing with this party
[15:00] <Sparkles> ((Oh hey!))
[15:00] <nasturtium> that was the idea
[15:00] <Sparkles> ((I *CAN* heal myself while unconscious))
[15:00] * Sparkles does that thing
[15:00] <Mister_Cavern> hahaha, well, you go~
[15:00] <Barzini> (How does one manage to do that?)
[15:00] * Sparkles gets up. "Did someone catch the number of that Samurai that ran me over?"
[15:00] <Crystal> "Sparkles, get up, you're going to be fine!"
[15:01] <Barzini> "What number is 'shark food'?"
[15:01] <Mister_Cavern> So, Crystal can think it was her cold compress, Nasturtium can think it was the rum and soda.
[15:01] <nasturtium> "Well, the executive is lying there if we want to do hilarious, violating things to him"
[15:01] <Sparkles> ((Inner fire. I can cast spells that "remove harmful status effects" on me without using Verbal or Material components, and even while unconscious. Not while dead until level 18))
[15:01] <Barzini> (Nice.)
[15:02] * Crystal contemplates a Rum Compress
[15:02] <Sparkles> "...yes. May be the slowly degrading demonic nature, but yes. I do."
[15:03] <Barzini> <Johnny> *spits president out in front of Sparkles*
[15:04] <Crystal> "Hilarious, violating things, you say?"
[15:04] * Crystal uses Create Ice Object for FAKE SNOWY MOUSTACHE!!
[15:04] * Crystal giggles
[15:05] <nasturtium> "Hmm... not what I was thinking, but lets shackle him up and bring him to the Psycho Therapists."
[15:05] * Sparkles pulls out a marker, holds it up dramatically, and draws various genitalia on his face.
[15:05] <nasturtium> "Though I think we now own another subsidiary or EvilCorp
[15:06] * Barzini asks the gargoyle if there are any androids have been here lately, ironically oblivious to the issue of the EvilCorp nurse.
[15:06] <Barzini> (+that)
[15:06] <Mister_Cavern> "Androids? Not that I know of, why?"
[15:07] <Barzini> "Heheh, InsecuriCorp doesn't have any androids either!"
[15:08] * nasturtium looks over Rammy "so, *where* did those bees come from?"
[15:08] <Barzini> "Not the Underworld, not InsecuriCorp, not BoozeCorp anymore. Just me."
[15:08] <Mister_Cavern> "My leafy hair of course. Or I suppose technically a hive in my leafy hair."
[15:09] <nasturtium> "Alright then..."
[15:09] <nasturtium> ((see Clanbook Baali review on Den))
[15:09] * Crystal sighs
[15:09] <Barzini> "So do you actually own your hammer, or is he like his own guy?"
[15:10] * nasturtium looks through Executives clothes and desk
[15:10] *** nasturtium changed nick to Nasturtium
[15:12] <Mister_Cavern> ((I know, and I refuse to acknowledge it))
[15:13] <Mister_Cavern> "Oh right, him. Oi Bazza, stand up."
[15:13] <Nasturtium> ((that's fair))
[15:13] <Mister_Cavern> The hammer shifts back into a gargoyle. "Uh, I totally surrender too, I have fewer HP than he does after all."
[15:15] * Barzini grins at Bazza, "You're not getting away that easily! But luckily for you, this ship will be the best thing that ever happened to you. Now, first order of business, where are your documents on your employers?"
[15:17] <Mister_Cavern> "Oh right, well, you see the papers there in the splinters and woodchips that used to be the desk? Them."
[15:18] <Barzini> "Okay! Help me search for 'EvilCorp' and 'Jackass Overlord'."
[15:18] * Barzini takes to digging with Nasturtium.
[15:19] <Crystal> Is the Jackass Overlord like that Jackal Lord cleric we met?
[15:20] <Barzini> "No, Mertel's an okay guy, he's just a little weird. I bet if we got him drunk he'd be able to party hard."
[15:21] <Mister_Cavern> "Uh, you think we know anything about the previous Overlord? Good luck. But like nearly all our assignments are for EvilCorp. Anything you after in particulars here?"
[15:21] <Nasturtium> "loot, and that happens to include sensitive documents ripe for extortion"
[15:22] <Barzini> "Even you guys don't know anything? If not even the Underlord knows anything about him... maybe he really did just disappaear..?"
[15:22] <Barzini> "Uhm, anyway. What the Captain said."
[15:22] * Crystal passes cans of Rum around
[15:22] <Crystal> "We're after more booze!"
[15:22] * Crystal shotguns hers
[15:23] <Nasturtium> /me sips hers before resting it on Crystal's breasts
[15:23] <Barzini> (can the captain reach that high)
[15:24] <Nasturtium> 10' reach
[15:24] * Barzini looks up to see if it will stay balanced.
[15:26] <Mister_Cavern> He goes through documents and starts handing them across when it finds relevant ones. "Well booze... BoozeCorp has a bunch of new humans to guard the perimeter? Um... we sent some ninjas out to guard the EvilCorp Board of Directors, and we were training up some new demons to give even more protection too..."
[15:26] <Nasturtium> "Hmm... can we send gimped demons instead?"
[15:26] * Nasturtium takes her rum and soda and sips from it before setting it back on Crystal
[15:27] <Crystal> "Er, Cap'N? do you need a table for that?"
[15:27] <Nasturtium> "Hey, you smashed the desk. This seems to work fine."
[15:27] <Nasturtium> ((feels like it's been a while since she abused her crew...))
[15:28] <Barzini> "What if you guys paint some Prinnies purple and tell them that they're Prinny Kings?"
[15:28] <Crystal> "Well you ordered me to smash."
[15:28] <Nasturtium> "Ooh or Pit Prinnies!"
[15:29] <Nasturtium> "I meant him!"
[15:30] <Crystal> "Well, I did that too, thanks to Joanie's help."
[15:30] <Sparkles> "You could also infuse the prinnies with triggered volatile soul energies so they explode the people they're supposed to guard. Probably. I'd need to run some numbers."
[15:30] * Crystal blinks
[15:30] <Nasturtium> ((suddenly has a vision of wig and lipstick on a shark))
[15:31] <Crystal> "Wait, did you just say something about directors?"
[15:31] <Mister_Cavern> "...yeah? You know, EvilCorp? Guys who own just about everything? The board of directors for them."
[15:31] <Nasturtium> "oh, hey, or *We* could just go and call ourselves demons"
[15:32] <Crystal> Harumph! I was BORN that way
[15:32] * Crystal :p at the Cap'N
[15:32] * Barzini sweatdrops, "Most of us were born demons..."
[15:32] * Nasturtium takes her booze from her walking cooler table
[15:33] <Nasturtium> "Oh yeah.... I can't remember whether I count as a demon or not///"
[15:33] <Nasturtium> *...
[15:34] <Mister_Cavern> (you do)
[15:34] <Crystal> But that's a great plan, we should pose as the new security sent out
[15:34] <Nasturtium> (ah ha! ok, so I meant "say we're those demons")
[15:35] <Nasturtium> "Hmm... do the directors know our faces?"
[15:35] <Mister_Cavern> "Dunno, do they?"
[15:35] <Crystal> I think Sparkles has a magical disguise pen to handle that sort of thing.
[15:35] <Barzini> "Doesn't matter! As far as they're concerned, we lost to this Schnitzel Spear guy."
[15:36] <Barzini> "And then he can deploy us to their base to be the security."
[15:36] <Crystal> Or we could wear Snowstaches.........
[15:36] <Nasturtium> "Hmm... good point. Make him a puppet, have him tell the directors that he won, and we're now puppets for him..."
[15:36] <Barzini> "We can do all of those things!"
[15:37] <Nasturtium> "Schnitzel spear? I don't remember seeing any fried breading.... wait-" *checks something*
[15:41] * Nasturtium stands up, "Nope, "Schnitzel spear" still makes no sense"
[15:43] * Barzini shrugs, "Whatever he used to knock Sparkles out."
[15:43] <Crystal> Maybe it's like broccoli spears?
[15:45] <Sparkles> "I believe that was 'stabbing me a bunch of times'."
[15:45] <Sparkles> "I think I can only disguise myself with the disguise pen, we'd need an illusionist on staff to pull off anything else..."
[15:46] <Crystal> "Do we have one of those on the ship?"
[15:46] <Crystal> "Or do we have to raid somewhere else to get one?"
[15:47] <Nasturtium> "I don't know, they seem pretty dim... maybe we could get by with ice mustaches..."
[15:48] * Crystal totally has a rank in Disguise
[15:48] <Barzini> "Do you have to keep your pen on you to keep the disguise?"
[15:48] <Sparkles> "Well the item has to be attuned. Meaning it can't be de-attuned and attuned to someone else for the disguise to hold."
[15:50] <Barzini> "Oh. ... Ice mustaches it is?"
[15:50] <Nasturtium> "Or paper bags"
[15:50] <Barzini> (This will so wind up a moment like on the Simpsons when Shelbyville was at war with Springfield.)
[15:51] <Nasturtium> ((all I can think of is the Oglaf "rubbish tiger" costume))
[15:52] <Barzini> (<Barzini> *pulls off mustache* All along you thought I was one of you, but it is I! <EvilCorp> ? <Barzini> Barzini. <EvilCorp> ? <Barzini> From Nasturtium's ship? <EvilCorp> He's with those pirates, get him!!)
[15:54] <Nasturtium> "So when are those demons supposed to ship out?"
[15:55] <Mister_Cavern> "Uh... says they need to finish level grinding and reverse-pirating and stuff, so... six days."
[15:55] <Mister_Cavern> So, the team have some plans - wild ones even! They've successfully raided the place and gone straight to the top, and now they have a new direction - hitting the Board of Directors itself! (After Efreeti-bashing?)
[15:55] <Nasturtium> "Alright then, lets loot and get back to the ship to puppetfy this executive"
[15:56] <Nasturtium> (ah, yes!)
[15:56] <Mister_Cavern> What lies ahead for them? What madness will be found when they go for Efreeti, and then for the big prize? And where the fuck is the Overlord in all this?
[15:56] <Mister_Cavern> Stay tuned next week to find out possibly some of the answers!

[Josh_Kablack]

10th Level w00t!

new stuff in green this time around, just to make sure I updated it all
Crystal Oymyako, Iceblade Giantess
(Empusa Monk 1/ Blue Mage 6 / Storm Blade 1 / Ninja 1 / Hero! 1 )
HP 8d8+1d6+1d10+70=(123 hp)
potentially +10 Temp HP
Initiative: +5
Move: 45' or Fly 90' +30' with combat style, or +45' with combat style and skate
AC: 24 (+5 Dex, -1 Size, +5 armored in life, +2 Natural, +3 Deflection) +4 dodge from monk combat style (for 28) +3 dodge with signature style (for 27) and +2 Shield from 2 Weapon Fighting Feat (for 30 if weapons are in combat school), or 33 when all apply. )
flatfooted AC: 19
touch AC: 22 (25 With signature style, 26 with monk combat style, 29 with both)
BAB: +8 / Grapple: +20
Attack:
Slam +17 melee 2d6+24 bludgeoning and 1d6+9 cold Crit 11-20
or NINJA SWORD +21 melee 2d8+24 slashing plus 1d6+9 cold Crit 10-20 and B.o.B.B.B +21 melee 1d8+20 slashing plus +1d6+9 cold Crit 10-20
or MW Assault Rifle +13 ranged for 1d10+1. Range increment 100' "30 bullets in a clip, Move-action reload time and double the range, along with a 3-round burst mode, eating x3 ammo for +2 to hit"
or Coldfire Icebeam +12 ranged touch for 10d6+10 cold out to Long range (640')

Full Attack
NINJA SWORD +21/+16 melee 2d8+24 slashing plus 1d6+9 cold crit 10-20and B.o.B.B.B +21/+16 melee 1d8+20 slashing plus +1d6+9 cold crit 10-20
and Slam +12 melee 2d6+16 bludgeoning and 1d6+9 cold crit 11-20
or MW Assault Rifle +13/+8 ranged for 1d10+1

Special Attacks: Fatal Strike, Fighting Style (provides +4 dodge to AC and +30' Insight to movement rate) Coldfire, Pall of Frost (1d6+10 in 10' radius), Brittling(Su) (1d6+10 cold, auto-hits, target loses dex for 1 round (2 if cold vulnerable) medium range), hardness halved for 1d4 rounds) Sexy (charm person DC 24 1/day), Tiresome (kiss for 1d8+10 nonlethal { and 1d6+9 cold } and 1 round fatigue, gain 10 temp HP); Frost's Bite (cold ignores resistance, immunity and hardness); Encumber (Su): standard action to attempt to wrap someone in 100 lbs of restricting ice-- encumbering them with the weight, with a Reflex save (DC 24) save for half the weight. Range undefined, but I'm gonna assume Short like create Ice object. Freeze (Su): may bind someone or something up with ice. Treat as a non-mind-affecting Hold Monster with a Reflex save (DC 24). Silver Flash (Ex): the Storm Blade may add his Charisma modifier (now +9!) to any melee weapon damage. Additionally, he may make a single attack with a Swift action each round. Surprise (Ex): the Ninja is good at taking advantage of unprepared foes. she has the Edge against any enemy who is denied their Dexterity bonus to Armour Class, and once per turn may make an Attack of Opportunity against one such foe just because; Jutsu Use (Su): 2 points, as a free action gain Int bonus (+2) to any of: {Attack rolls, Damage rolls, Saving throws, Dex-based Skill checks, Cha-based skill checks, Wis-based skill checks, Str-based skill checks, Constitution Score, All Energy Resistances (must already possess at least one type), Total Damage Reduction (If none apply, treat this alone as /-) Spell resistance (must possess it already), Fast Healing (must possess it already)} or may spend a point to reroll initiative} - points remain spent until one minute spent meditating. Signature Style (Ex): increase the Threat Range of all weapons used in his Combat School by an amount equal to his Charisma Bonus (+9!). any turn in which he attacks with a weapon listed in his Combat School, he gains a +3 Dodge Bonus to Armour Class until his next turn. Finally, whenever fighting opponents with a higher CR than his level, he always has the Edge against them.

Special Qualities: Armoured in Life 5, Cold Resistance 10, rendered obsolete by Cold Immunity, Cold Magic, Frozen Heart (add char lvl or Cha to cold damage), Skate at will (as psi-power, may use Skate to cross liquid surfaces. The ice trail still disappears after a round). Create Ice Object (short range, up to 10 objects totaling up to 100 lbs, hardness 24; also may fix Ice objects onto horizontal and vertical surfaces and be sure they'll support a decent amount of weight.) Never-melt Ice (Su):[/b]ice creations are immune to all fire and won’t melt unless the Snowscaper allows it or the Snowscaper dies. Wings: allow flight. Telepathy out to 30' as a constant effect. Ground Freeze (Su): may freeze four 5-foot squares per character level as standard action. The ice in any square can be thawed using a fire spell. Let it snow (standard action, any or everywhere in medium (160') radius, one foot of snow per round) Poetry (Ex): the Storm Blade, being a samurai, is automatically skilled with poetry. He adds his class level to all Perform (Poetry) checks. He may also Scribe Scrolls – he doesn't have to know the spells, but can only scribe scrolls with a Spell Level equal to or less than half his Class Level (round up). Too Fast By Half (Ex): the Ninja multiplies his Base Speed by 1.5 whenever he is not using armour or a shield he is not proficient with - already figured into movement above.

Saves: F+18 R+16 W+13

Ability Scores: Str 26 Dex 17 (21 with enhancement) Con 20 (24 with enhancement) Int 15 Wis 9 (13 with enhancement) Cha 24 (28 with enhancement)
Large Size feat adds +8 Str -2 Dex +4 Con
All now include +2 marmot bonus

Languages: Common and Infernal I guess.

Skill Totals: Bluff +25 Craft: Ice Creations +6 Diplomacy +21, Disguise +10 (+12 if Bluff synergy applies) Hide +12, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) +3 Move Silently +14, Perform (poetry) +10 , Sense Motive +3, Spellcraft +3, Survival +11, Swim +12, Tumble +11, abUse Magic Device +15 Use Rope +12

Skill Ranks: Bluff 14 (ninja auto-max) Craft: Ice Creations: 4 Diplomacy 8, Disguise 1 Hide 11, Knowledge (Nobility and Royalty) 1 Move Silently 9, Perform 0 Spellcraft 1, Survival 10 Swim 5, Tumble 6, abUse Magic Device 6
Use Rope 7

Feats: (all Tome) Combat School ( Icicle's Edge, +2 to attack and damage with monk slam, empusa natural weapons, short sword , long sword (aka cutlass), and bastard sword (aka katana), Opponents stricken must make DC 23 Fort or be dazed),
Two Weapon Fighting. ( attack with offhand weapon at no penalty, get additional offhand AoO per round, +2 shield bonus when fighting with 2 weapons and not flat footed )
Subtle Cut (+1 damage to everything and may as standard action make weapon attack that reduces victim's movement by 5' per 5 points of damage, may make standard action weapon attack that also deals 2d4 dex damage)
Large Size [Fiend] (bonuses figgered in above)

Weapon and Armor Proficiency from classes: Light Armor, sai, the nunchuka, the kama, the shuriken, triple staff, all martial swords and piercing weapons, and any three exotic piercing or slashing weapons. (bastard sword. DMG: Renesaince: Pistol, Musket.)
the Ninja is proficient with all Simple Weapons, all Martial Weapons, and two Exotic Weapons of the player's choice. The Ninja is not proficient with any armour.

Gear:
Gear: MW Assault Rifle, some rope, combat lingerie, empty rum and wine bottles, leather collar.
Magic Items:
1. Ruby Tailring of +1/3 level Enhancement to Dex,
2. Glistening Tiara of +1/3 level enhancement to Cha,
3.Orb of Poison (worn as garishly oversized earring): +1/3 level enhancement to Wis and once per day as not-an-action apply apply Poison to a natural weapon (slam) Fort save DC 22 (10+1/2 HD + Con) damage 1d6 Con/1d6 Con)
4. Eerie Scarfé: (worn as a scarf, eerily enough) +1/3 level resistance bonus to saves and provides 50% miss chance vs. AoOs.
5. NINJA SWORD: Magic Bastard sword Katana - grants 1 Ki Jutsu point as though the wielder were a Ninja
6. Blade of Bursting Bewitcher's Bubbles: Magic Short sword of Dispelling ( Anything struck that fails a Willpower Save (DC 24) is targeted by a targeted dispel magic, with a dispelling check of d20 + wielder's character level: 10 (no cap).)
X. INACTIVE: Boots of Elvenkind: Black thighhigh boots grant +level competence bonus to Move Silently and Woodland Stride (as Druid class feature)
X: INACTIVE Padded Brassiere (+level competence Bonus to Disguise checks, Fascinate3/day (DC 23)),
7: Ruby Corset. It is made of solid rubies, granting a Deflection bonus (+1/4 level) to AC. Anyone who touches you suffers the effects of walking through the Red layer of a Prismatic Wall (Deals 20 points of fire damage (Reflex 21 half).- including the basic blindness chance for creatures of low HD (However, any other creature with less than 8 HD that is within 20 feet of the wall is blinded for 2d4 rounds by the colors if it looks at the wall. " Basically, it's Ref negates Blindness (closing eyes quickly), and it's just when touching, yeah. The Ref Save also halves the fire damage")
8: Basic con booster (specifics vague) of +1/3 level Enhancement to Con,
0: "a permanent ability which is not a magic item: you can cast Swift Fly at will. That's the one that is a Swift action and lets you fly for the rest of the round. Doing it causes a "WHUSH!" noise."
Spheres (from tome and dark assembly)
"Spheres and Spell Levels: Spell-like abilities used out of spheres re considered to be cast as a spell level equal to half the minimum needed character level to use the ability (rounded up). The save DC of a spell-like ability granted through Sphere access is Charisma-based. Thus, the save DC for a spell-like ability which becomes available at character level 5 is 12 + Charisma bonus."
Seduction (basic)
Special: You gain a +2 bonus to Bluff, Diplomacy, and Sense Motive
Level, Benefits
1 Entice Gift
3 Suggestion
5 Glibness
7 Charm Monster
9 Sympathy
" Whenever it is night (not dark, but from sundown to sunrise), Crystal is considered to have Basic access to the Voracity Sphere."
Special: Any time one of your spell-like abilities grants negative levels or ability damage/drain to a target, you heal 5 HPs of damage per level or point.
Level, Benefits
1 Death Knell
3 Shadow Spray
5 Vampiric Touch
7 Enervation
9 Magic Jar

alchemical items: "Chocolate Cake grants 45 Temp HP and Fast Healing 1 for 1 minute, and causes the Sickened condition for that minute. Chocolate grants a +4 Morale bonus to all saving throws except saves against its own addictiveness, and +4 to beat SR. But has a chance of addiction"

Coming Soon Future build plans and proto-math to make potential future levelups quicker (plans subject to change based on game events and whims) :

• Level 11: Hero! 2 provides+d10 HD, +1 BAB, +1 to Fort and Ref, skillz, Signature move lets her trade fatigue for chance to stagger no-save target as well a +1 to armored in life and a new monk style (adding Con damage to weapon attacks - which is good with a lot of attacks, but gets insane in combos with both nutso crit rate (con damage is also doubled on crit) and voracity sphere innate - heal 5 HP per con point dealt)
• Level 12: New Feat TBD. +1 Cha from levelup. Hero! 3 provides +d10 HD, +1 BAB, +1 Will, Mad skills yo! and Most Useful providing +5 aardvark bonuses to crank Cha bonus to +11, for increased doubled melee damage and crit range and raises all other numbers somewhat less. Also base speed doubles (on top of ninja +50%), so walk of 90 + 30' Style + 15 Skate or Fly of 180' (average) + 30' Style
• Level 13: Enhancements scale to +5! Hero! 4 provides +d10 HD, +1 BAB (for 3rd iterative), +1 to Fort and will and Master fighting style (teleport and also weapons do con damage). also Special Move.

[Koumei]

Remember, the marmot bonus to all ability scores increases by 1~

[Prak]

Wait, seriously? Is that every level past 8th, or what?

[Josh_Kablack]

**checks spiffy new PDF**

Whoa, yeah it is +1 per level past 8th, up to a max of +5 at 13th..Now done recalculating. Double adding Cha to damage and now adding it to threat range makes each +1 matter a craptonne.

Also, apparently minions are no longer based on Leadership feats, and whoa Magicchange is awesome and hilarious.

[Prak]

I'm kinda tempted to say we should all grab Magichange so we have something to do with all of our various minions.

[Koumei]

Minions are based on Leadership feats... along with other miscellaneous stuff that can give you minions. It's just that the table for how many you get is different from the core one.

And Prak, yeah, that's the same as you'd get from Wishes/Books. Basically, it's a formalised "By level 9 or so, players can just have infinite wishes if they want to do that, and will just have +5 to all ability scores, so let's just build it into the system so they don't need to do the wish abuse."

[Prak]

Makes sense. Good to know, that way we can use our pokeballed efreet wishes on valid things.

[Josh_Kablack]

Okay, recalculating done.

Crystal gets totally move insane as a damage engine, and becomes good at abusing magic devices.

Also, if we do go with the infiltration she totally has a disguise bonus item she can re-attune.

[Prak]

Nasturtium and Rammy each picked up a bit of Disguise and UMD.

[Josh_Kablack]

I gotta rules question for the MC

Do scrolls (or other expendables) count against the BoG 8-item limit? If so, what exactly are the details of attunement times and the like in this game?