OSSR: The book of VD

[squirrelloid]

Something awesome to note about the SLA metamagic feats from BoVD: They apply x times per day *per spell-like ability*. So Quicken SLA lets you quicken *all* your SLAs 1/day.

If for some reason you're playing a PC who gets lots of SLAs, you want the BoVD version of these feats.

[Avoraciopoctules]

Oh snap, really? Crypts of Chaos will be going crazy places next level, I think.

[Prak]

Going?

[Avoraciopoctules]

Crazier, then. I still want to pull the trick where we summon a posse of demons, then dismiss the effect and stab them all in the face for free levels. Doubling spell output might help with that.

[Whatever]

Pity Bluetown is closed. You could sell tickets.

[Ikeren]

Also, you missed that Thrall of Demogorgon gives you a full extra set of actions at level 4, which, if I recall correctly, means something like a level 9 or 10 character with a BOB can do a hilarious triple action nova. (Forgive me if this was pointed out already, I wrote the post yesterday, but am only getting internet to post it today, and haven't read the rest of the thread yet).

[Count Arioch the 28th]

I didn't miss it, I just didn't think it was particularly good.

I am looking at these classes from the lenses of 3.0. Which means two things in the case of the dual actions:

1. Haste was in its pre-nerfed form where it gave you an extra partial action for its duration.

2. Belt of Battle had not been invented yet.

Getting double actions twice per day was a unique ability that was pretty neat, but back in the day extra actions weren't so scarce.

EDIT: Also, in the case of Thrall of Graz'zt saying you take the first level and no more is basically agreeing with me that the class sucks.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

Moving right along...
Chapter 6: Magic

This chapter is a very interesting one; a lot of the infamous "Spells that Fucking Kill People" come from here. Furthermore, there are spells that do neat things, and spells that are weird for not good reason. Note the artwork: a mutilated female sorcerer and her imp bestie casting some sort of spell on some other chick. I had a player base his character off this image. (Why is it that the people in my life that were loudest in their accusations of me being a sexist were the ones playing mutilated woman characters that used sex as a weapon? You wonder why I don't care when people call me names, it's only because I'm imagining you calling me a misogynist while you're watching a woman getting raped by werewolves on TV. Which happened to me in real life. But enough of that shit, time to move on!)

This chapter introduces the "corrupt" spells. These spells are available to any prepared spellcaster, because fuck you for playing a sorcerer. They have a drawback: typically some form of ability damage (with special cases mentioned). Also are new spell components: fiend, devil, demon and undead. To cast those spells you have to be a fiend or an undead. This was actually a pretty neat idea that they really should have expanded (and the most logical powergaming answer actually makes an interesting story; the wizard that in his quest to learn the secret magics of dragons/undead/demons/abberations/your mum had to become one to learn it. Another wasted opportunity...) Other spells require a trapped soul, or requires you to be suffering from a certain disease or high on some sort of drug. I find that an interesting take on components.

There's also a new house rule that gives the [EVIL] tag to spells that didn't have it before; which was stupid so they made it core in 3.5. So cutting off the divine connection of evil shrines was something your lawful good cleric of Heironeous was no longer allowed to do (because GODS R GOOD AMIRITE?), a spell that let the cleric monitor the health of his allies was something Pelor no longer granted (because there's no reason why the god of healing would want his followers to be able to tell where they could do the most good), and a spell that made someone shaken was evil (but making someone shaken by using intimidate was just peachy). Also, trapping the soul of a demon lord to prevent it from coming back is always evil no matter what. Because that's totally something backed up by fiction. It figures the really retarded ideas stayed around while the awesome ideas were wasted.

I won't go too deep into the spells, but there are a few interesting points I'd like to make.

The Boneblast spell requires a bone from a small child that still lives. It has no listed price, which means all material component bags have an infinite supply of bones from children that still live.

Charnel Fire destroys corpses and corporeal undead. It has the [Evil] tag for some reason...

Circle of Nausea gives everyone -2 to all d20 rolls. It requires you make a circle in the ground an hour before casting it. You can only cast it standing in the circle. It has the [Evil] tag. It's a 2nd level druid/3rd level cleric spell. Why does any of this need to be a spell?

Distort Summons is interesting: it makes any neutral or good summoned creature summoned within the area evil, and it makes it turn on the caster. It's an interesting spell, I would see about adding it to my doom lair to keep people using summoned monsters to detect traps...

Fangs of the Vampire lets you make a bite attack with a +10 attack bonus. I always thought that was weird; why such a specific number? Great at low levels, crappy at high levels when your attack bonus is likely to be higher. Similar to Serpents of Theggeron, which also attacks at an attack bonus of +10. Serpents of Theggeron does however have a unique presentation (the caster's arms turn into serpents), and one cannot downplay the importance of your evil spellcasters having lots and lots of panache.

Soul Shackles is a great spell. You trick the good guys into taking a talisman, then you trap their soul in the talisman to interrogate it later. That is exactly the sort of thing fantasy evil dudes should be doing. I greatly approve. Steal Life is similar: you drain the life out of a victim and it makes you live longer. If you can keep the flow of victims up, you can live forever. Lots of backup in fiction for that one.

Wave of Grief gives everyon -3 to D20 rolls. And making people very sad is considered bad enough to get the [Evil] tag.

Were Doom turns 1d4 random creatures into random lycanthropes. (Side note: doesn't "lycos" mean wolf? I'm pretty sure it's inappropriate to call other were-creatures lycanthropes. Wouldn't a wererat be a musanthrope? A wereboar be a heranthrope? I dunno...) Anyway, despite the fact that only half the monsters on the list are evil, the spell is evil.

Notable is the fact that Wither Limb and Wrack were much lower level spells back in 3.0. They both tend to be pretty awesome, wrack is a spell that WILL fuck up the day of anyone who receives it.

<Evil Magic Items update later tonight>

[Kaelik]

EDIT: Also, in the case of Thrall of Graz'zt saying you take the first level and no more is basically agreeing with me that the class sucks.

If a class gave you +50 to Int and spellcasting at level 1, and nothing at level 2, you you would never take level 2. That class still wouldn't suck in the sense you are alleging.

Mindbender is a one level class, but within that one level, it doesn't suck.

[Jefepato]

There's also a new house rule that gives the [EVIL] tag to spells that didn't have it before; which was stupid so they made it core in 3.5. So cutting off the divine connection of evil shrines was something your lawful good cleric of Heironeous was no longer allowed to do (because GODS R GOOD AMIRITE?),

I looked at my 3.0 PHB and it's pretty clear that evil shrines would always have been using desecrate, not consecrate, as their divine connection in the first place. It's an Evil domain spell that runs on negative energy -- kind of a wonder it didn't already have the [Evil] tag.

It's sort of out of place among all the really dumb changes, actually.

[Prak]

Also, good clerics can still cut off evil altars from their gods, because Consecrate counters and dispels Desecrate. And with Desecrate, there's no real special connection.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

Continue with Magic Items.

There are a few neat things to pick through in this chapter. There's an armor enhancement that gives you infinite free poison on your poison spikes (alchemists go bankrupt!). The Dread Emperor's armor lets you transfer damage you take to people chained to you (although they have to be subdued or otherwise willing). The Razor Armor is neat because it deals 2d6 when you're grappling AND with a successful grapple check. Which means +4d6 if you can wrestle something, but even if something big and nasty grabs you, you still deal 2d6 damage. It's small potatoes, but could be the start of something wonderful if you work at it.

Fleshgrinding weapons are great to hinder spellcasters, cursespewing weapons give a whopping -4 to d20 rolls on a failed will save (this is listed as a curse, which I'm assuming it means the duration is until Remove Curse is cast on the victim). Marrowcrushing is the 3.5 wounding ability. souldrinking deals a negative level and grants you a bonus to strength and HP on a critical, but is overpriced at +4.

The unique weapons are mostly snore-worthy, although the spiked chain you can turn into a chain wall could come in handy, and the Warpsword inflicts the Warp Touch disease upon striking someone. Note that this is another potential break for the Cancer Mage; Warp Touch grants a random effect, some are positive and some are negative, but you only get it once. Getting hit with this sword has the chance of either giving you a freakish appearance that you ignore, or give you some goodies. I wonder if there's a way to re-roll a percentile...

Rods are kind of boring, and staves are just storage spots for spells, so I won't go over them.

There's a collar that gives all natural attacks a poison effect (1d10 con damage, DC 14). It's a bit pricy at 15k, but I'm sure a druid could make use of it. A more expensive version ups the DC to 20, but costs a cool 138k. There's an elixir that costs 750 that lets you use the Dark Speech feat without setting a feat on fire for the short-term if you are interested. A Slime Pot lets you make as much Green slime as you want which is kind of neat. A Spiralburst Bottle will kill any one target if they fail a DC 30 (!) fortitude save and costs 19k. Still, if you REALLY want something fucking dead then this is useful.

The Vasharan Offal Bag is an interesting case that deserves further explanation. It summons a giant cockroach. Other than the fact that offal doesn't mean what the writers think it does (offal does not mean shit, it means organs), there's nothing particularly noteworthy about the item, until you get to the monster chapter. There is not giant cockroach in the entire book. It was cut last minute, but the item that summons the cockroaches did not get cut. Now, right after the book came out the giant cockroach was available for free from Monty Cook's website, but it got taken down when one of the FR books reprinted it. So now you have to either make shit up, or own a 3.5 book to get the stats.

Also, there's another vasharan item that lets you spit worms at people that kill them (or deal damage for a few rounds if they make their save).

There are some minor artifacts, and I won't bother going over them because artifacts are typically things you only see as a plot device. A few bits of trivia:

The blood of celestials is a highly corrosive acid to anything that isn't a celestial (dafuq?)

A crossbow that reloads slightly faster and has the Slaying: Humans property is what passes for a minor artifact

The Xenomorph expy can be skinned and their hides become an interesting type of armor (which is honestly in-genre for fantasy, so I won't mock it).

The zombie cauldron turns corpses into zombies. 50 go in, 4d12 come out. Supposedly made by devils, but I'm pretty sure most devils can just cast Animate Dead as a SLA and don't actually need to do this. Handy if you want to reward your non-spellcasting minions with zombies to control because this will work for them. There's a device that grants demonic grafts, which are decent if you don't have to pay for them or set feats on fire to get them (it's a small bonus, but a free small bonus is still a free small bonus). Kind of random though.

The major artifacts are fluffy and I won't go into them other than to say the little fanfiction and incest in the Despoiler of Flesh description is a little too far.

[Maxus]

The Zombie Cauldron sounds like the Black Cauldron.

I always meant to read those all the way through--I only ever found a couple of them

Anyways. Cauldron-Born. Sweet.

[Username17]

There's also a new house rule that gives the [EVIL] tag to spells that didn't have it before; which was stupid so they made it core in 3.5. So cutting off the divine connection of evil shrines was something your lawful good cleric of Heironeous was no longer allowed to do (because GODS R GOOD AMIRITE?),

I looked at my 3.0 PHB and it's pretty clear that evil shrines would always have been using desecrate, not consecrate, as their divine connection in the first place. It's an Evil domain spell that runs on negative energy -- kind of a wonder it didn't already have the [Evil] tag.

It's sort of out of place among all the really dumb changes, actually.

The issue is that in the 3.0 PHB, consecrate could create an area that boned Undead, and desecrate could create an area that boosted Undead. But desecrate could break the divine connection to a holy place (regardless of the god's alignment) and consecrate could not.

So until 3.5 came around and gave consecrate the extra language "If the area does contain an altar, shrine, or other permanent fixture of a deity, pantheon, or higher power other than your patron, the consecrate spell instead curses the area, cutting off its connection with the associated deity or power. This secondary function, if used, does not also grant the bonuses and penalties relating to undead, as given above.", adding the [Evil] tag to desecrate simply made Evil automatically win at everything because Good couldn't do shit about Evil going around corrupting the world one emanation at a time.

-Username17

[RobbyPants]

Were Doom turns 1d4 random creatures into random lycanthropes. (Side note: doesn't "lycos" mean wolf? I'm pretty sure it's inappropriate to call other were-creatures lycanthropes. Wouldn't a wererat be a musanthrope? A wereboar be a heranthrope? I dunno...) Anyway, despite the fact that only half the monsters on the list are evil, the spell is evil.

The 2nd edition MONSEROUSIS MANDIBLE explained the same thing, saying that lycanthrope should only apply to werewolves, but they handwaved that away and said they were going to use the term anyway.

[Username17]

This is why I put this into After Sundown:

Therianthropes? Fuck that noise!

It is important to note that the word “lycanthrope” literally comes from Greek words for “wolf” and “form” but that it is an English word which means a human who transforms into a wolf or other beast. Many people will try to get you to use the word “Therianthrope” or “Zoanthrope” because of a misguided attempt to use Greek root words correctly. Those words are however not English, and using them is not “technically correct” – it is retarded. The plural of Octopus is “Octopuses” and not “Oktopodes” like it would be if we were speaking Greek, because if you are reading this document the chances are excellent that you are not an ancient Greek.

-Username17

[Prak]

The Xenomorph expy can be skinned and their hides become an interesting type of armor (which is honestly in-genre for fantasy, so I won't mock it).

Other than the ability to use Kython weapons, which I would rule is a purely physical thing, you'd be better off getting Demon Armour. So, skin a kython, enchant the shell to be Demon Armour. Have 1d10 claws that are +1, and hit with contagion effects.

The major artifacts are fluffy and I won't go into them other than to say the little fanfiction and incest in the Despoiler of Flesh description is a little too far.

The background may be a bit much, but the despoiler itself is pretty awesome. Imagine turning an enemy's teeth into black widows.

[fectin]

Also, "werewolf" is specifically male. 'Were' and 'wo' are male and female human modifiers respectively.

Incidentally if you are both incredibly pedantic and incredibly archaic, "man" does not indicate gender, but "wereman" does. Good luck with that.

[fectin]

The Zombie Cauldron sounds like the Black Cauldron.

I always meant to read those all the way through--I only ever found a couple of them

Anyways. Cauldron-Born. Sweet.

He borrows liberally from actual celtic myths, which are also pretty worthwhile.

[Parthenon]

So... wereman is the male form of man while woman is the female. So you'd have werewolf and wowolf? I like it.

[Maxus]

The Zombie Cauldron sounds like the Black Cauldron.

I always meant to read those all the way through--I only ever found a couple of them

Anyways. Cauldron-Born. Sweet.

He borrows liberally from actual celtic myths, which are also pretty worthwhile.

Lloyd Alexander also wrote The Iron Ring which takes place in India and has a whole lot of that Hindu mythology happening.

It was pretty awesome.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

Chapter 7 sucks monkey fuck

I have been stuck on this chapter for a while thinking of shit to write about it. And I can come up with nothing. So I'm going to talk about how this chapter fails.

This chapter has demon lords and devil princes and nobody liked it when it came out. The Planescape tards were furious because they statted the BBEGs AND YOU CAN THEN KILL THEM AND THEN THE PERFECT STASIS OF THE GAME WORLD MIGHT CHANGE AND THAT IS BAD. The godkilling tards hated it because these guys have REALLY shitty stats for their CR. Some of them can astrally project at-will (maybe all of them, but I'm not going to check for that), which means if you can't find their hidey-hole you have to fight them INFINITY times (U JELLY NECROMANCERS?). So it's an infinite train of something you can take down with little effort at that level, which breaks the game at least twice by minimum. (INFINITE LEVELS! U MAD DM?) Wait, that was a 3.5ism where crap started getting that. Instead, they all cast Blasphemy at will. Which probably doesn't mean anything since 3.0 had the spells not work on things with more than 10 hit dice.

Also, they pissed of planescapefriends by having one of the lords of the nine be a night hag instead of the canon Moloch. I am not sure why they broke canon there specifically and not in other places.

There's sample cult leaders, and I literally cannot make myself give a single fuck about this chapter or anything in it. Other than the fact that Baalzebul molests a male medusa. I am not making that up...

[Count Arioch the 28th]

Chapter 8: Evil Monsters

Alright, this is a chapter I can in fact give a fuck about. Monsters are awesome, and more monsters is always better. Even the shitty monsters. ESPECIALLY the shitty monsters. I don't care what anyone says, D&D wouldn't be the same without gorbels or flail snails or flumphs.

Anyway, either way we're prepared for a laugh.

There are a whole plethora of new demons. We have Manes, which are less monsters and more mobile fart bombs. You bop them, they turn into fart gas that eats your face off when they die (and at 4 hp, that's going to happen). The Rutterkin is a stupid bruiser with Telekinesis at will, as well as some bullshit exotic weapons (one of which grapples on a successful hit). Still, I don't think I need to mention that at-will telekinesis makes for an interesting fight. Bar-Lguras are nasty ape-demons with some useful SLA's that can teleport like most demons, but they can also take someone with them. Not only is that useful for grabbing people and teleporting them into fun places (they are immune to electricity and poison as well as highly resistant to acid, fire and cold). Babau can sneak attack as well as having some neat at-will SLA's (flying, desecrate, darkness back before it was nerfed) as well as a strength-sapping gaze. Shadow demons are incorporeal nasties that deal vile damage with their claws and get +4 to a lot of stats if they're in darkness. Finally, the Chasmes are fly demons who are described as being skilled in the arts of torture with very good SLA's that can put you to sleep, wounding attacks, and a fear aura (I used a Chasme as the big bad to an adventure involving a kobold demonologist that never got off the ground.)

There are fewer devils than demons. There's the Kocrachon, who are fly devils who are described as being skilled in the arts of torture with very good wait a goddamn minute

(glances up at the previous paragraph)

Sweet mother of fuck, did they seriously do this? Did they have two monsters that share the same conceptual space? Like the 3.0 erinyes and the succubus? That's fucking stupid. Anyway, the Kocrachon is less formidable in combat than the Chasme, but have better SLA's (including Animate Dead, Wrack, and Major Image). My vote is on the Kocrachon being the better of the two monsters (combat stats can be altered easily, but getting Animate Dead as an SLA is just awesome). And yes, they only have 6 hit dice, so a planar ally/binding spell of the lesser variety will in fact let you gain the services of one. Happy birthday. Ghargatulas are boring, big stupid monsters without any truly interesting abilities. If it manages to summon a Cornugon then that's the most interesting part of the monster; the fact that cornugons are kind of cool.

The Eye of Fear and Flame is an interesting monster. It's intelligent enough to make long-term plans and be a mastermind, it has a few random abilities (I suspect it's because this is a legacy monster from earlier editions), it can fireball and fear things (and can empower and corrupt its fireball), and it has a couple divinations at will (including true sight, which is a neat wrinkle). The monster's deal is that it uses force to get people to do evil acts. That being said, I feel the monster is lacking a bit, it reads like an old-school monster where the scariest ones had three or four abilities. Back in the day, this would have been terrifying, but in 3.0 if just doesn't have enough of a kick.

Kythons are like Xenomorphs. No seriously, look at them.



They come in different sizes, and the only notable thing about them are kython weaponry. They have the standard acid guns, bone blades, extra plating, second little mouth to eat people with, but the most interesting is the phase organ, which makes the kython incorporeal. Get the Kython Armor, get the phase organ and a ghost touch weapon then go nuts.

There's the Vaath, a monster that eats your organs while you're alive, and forcibly mindlinks with you so you can find out how your organs taste. If the Sensates weren't all about blowjobs and cake, this sounds like something they would want to try (hell, if you could promise me a regeneration or raise dead afterwards, I'd be at least curious).

Vilewights are bigger wights whose intestines bite people like snakes. It also has a negative energy attack that deals 8d8 in a line (Although it doesn't specify this, there's enough evidence to argue that it would heal undead for the same amount, which means as soon as you can command a 12 hit die undead you will be getting one for your undead menagerie). To top it off, it makes more wights for free! Can't go wrong with one as a necro pet.

Templates have their own chapter because this is 3.0 and they did that back then. I actually liked it better rather than throwing them in the stack. Anyway, the corpse and bone creatures are kind of like what eventually became the Skeleton and Zombie template in 3.5 (before then, zombies and skeletons of the same size were identical stat-wise). This version allows the creature to retain levels and intellect, and this was before LA nastiness, so with Create Undead you could basically raise your friends but make them better (at the cost of losing their con score). If you are a necromancer and you have rebuking power, go the fuck off. Every adventuring party that attacks you, raise as a bone/corpse creature under your command.

Corrupted creatures make monsters deal more damage, heal fast, have a higher AC and DR, and have a whopping +4 to save DCs for abilities! You take a hit to your mental stats, but this was back in 3.0 and stats didn't say "this ability is governed by Charisma", so you could have been justified in not adjusting it other than the +4 (note that they were in fact governed by either charisma or constitution, and you had to figure it out by extrapolating the stats, and even then some monsters had weird bonuses that weren't accounted for. 3.0 had a lot of really weird things and the clarification of how stats and hit dice affect abilities was a welcome change in 3.5)

Last chapter is fluffy, and I won't go over it because I've run out of fuck for the day. Time to sleep.

[Josh_Kablack]

Awww, you didn't retread the abusebility of the Sadism spell....

[RobbyPants]

Awww, you didn't retread the abusebility of the Sadism spell....

It's been years. Is this the one that gives you stacking bonuses based on how much damage you deal (+1 per ten points, or some such)? I so, I don't remember anything more about it than that.