Annoying Questions I'd Like Answered...

[Cynic]

So how do I equate liquid ounces with err... non-liquid ounces?

I've been doing a lot of slow-cooker recipes recently. When a recipe calls for like 2 cups of milk and 1/2 cup of shredded cheese, how do I figure it out. I mean I have a single 1 quart measuring cup and figuring out these sort of measurements is strange.

[Prak]

So how do I equate liquid ounces with err... non-liquid ounces?

I've been doing a lot of slow-cooker recipes recently. When a recipe calls for like 2 cups of milk and 1/2 cup of shredded cheese, how do I figure it out. I mean I have a single 1 quart measuring cup and figuring out these sort of measurements is strange.

You don't really. Milk is one of the few things that has equivalent liquid to dry ounce measurements, same with water, eggs, and a few other things I can't think of off the top of my head. Other things, like flour, have specific equivalences. Like all purpose flour, a cup is roughly 4.75 ounces.

On the other hand, here:
3 teaspoons = 1 table spoon
1 table spoon = .5 oz
8 oz = 1 cup
2 cups = 1 pint
2 pints = 1 quart
4 quarts = 1 gallon

[Maj]

Like I said, Prak, I eyeball it - I've been cooking for more than 25 years, so most of the time I don't even use a measuring spoon. Or a recipe.

My brother, on the other hand, is uber-precise. If I tell him to add a certain amount of something to a recipe, he's the guy who levels stuff off with a knife to make sure it's absolutely perfect before he puts it in. He doesn't have an intuitive feel for the kitchen, so he is really paranoid about making mistakes. I've actually received the phone call about 1.5 tablespoons from him before, and so when my husband said it, it reminded me of my brother. It really is a pain in the ass measurement.

So how do I equate liquid ounces with err... non-liquid ounces?

I've been doing a lot of slow-cooker recipes recently. When a recipe calls for like 2 cups of milk and 1/2 cup of shredded cheese, how do I figure it out. I mean I have a single 1 quart measuring cup and figuring out these sort of measurements is strange.

Wanna know a secret? There's not really a difference between the two except in practical terms. It's way easier to use a dry measuring cup to scoop dry ingredients because you just fill it to the top and you're done. But then, filling a dry measuring cup with a liquid is a bit of a pain because you're in spillage territory. And frequently liquid measuring cups are easier to pour (I've seen dry measuring cups with cute spouts on them, but not all do).

[Count Arioch the 28th]

Here's another question.

I read something today. It said the average American couple has sex 118 times a year. That brings to mind two questions:

1. Is that in any way accurate? Said trivia factoid had no citation, it could just as easily have been pulled out of someone's ass.

2. Who are these couples they are asking? Even if you move the decimal point over once, that's still more than I have when I'm in a relationship.

[Koumei]

If they're young adults (or late teens), then 118 a year is no-where close to how much sex they're actually happening: that will just about cover their first month together. Sure, it slows down after that, to merely industrial-strength fucking, but I can see them bringing the average up - it requires the efforts of everyone over 30 to stop it from skyrocketing to "eight times per day".

Citation: none

[Count Arioch the 28th]

I got married at 19 and my partner only wanted sex about 8-9 times a year. The partner that wanted it the most topped about 13 times a year. The woman that bragged the most about how sexual she was had sex with me twice in about an 8 month period before I kicked her to the curb.

It's entirely possible that I'm just that unattractive <shrug>.

[PoliteNewb]

Here's another question.

I read something today. It said the average American couple has sex 118 times a year. That brings to mind two questions:

1. Is that in any way accurate? Said trivia factoid had no citation, it could just as easily have been pulled out of someone's ass.

2. Who are these couples they are asking? Even if you move the decimal point over once, that's still more than I have when I'm in a relationship.

1. That number sounds about right, to me...it works out to once every 3 days or so. That's more frequently than my wife and I (we probably average once every 7-10 days, with shorter and longer gaps), but less frequently than many couples who are every day (or more), so as an average it sounds reasonable.

2. Am I reading you right, Count? You're saying that 11.8 times a YEAR is more sex than you usually get in a relationship? Because if I was only having sex once a month, I don't think I'd be in that relationship very long (once the relationship had progressed to the "having sex" stage, of course). Of course, people's sexual needs vary, so if that works for some people, whatever's clever...but that number sounds very low to me.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

Yup, you read that correctly newb. I know that my experiences are statistically insignificant blah blah blah but it's getting really hard to muster the energy to try again when the 5 times I've succeeded it's been so much work for so little results (and not just the sex, I throw everything I got into the relationship and she doesn't feel the need to contribute anything). I'm starting to think that I can't fool anyone into thinking I'm an alpha instead of a beta (because the second the relationship starts she starts leaning hard on me for emotional and financial support but doesn't feel the need to give anything back. Heck, I might be an omega and not even realize it, much like the autistic guy I work with can't realize that young college girls aren't going to want to date a paunchy 50-something with a learning disability).

[Maj]

Web MD: 66 times per year

Kinsey Institute: 2-3 times per week (broken down by age)

Durex: 85 times per year

[Koumei]

(broken down by age)

Broken down by age? That sounds like the Count :3c

[PoliteNewb]

I got married at 19 and my partner only wanted sex about 8-9 times a year. The partner that wanted it the most topped about 13 times a year. The woman that bragged the most about how sexual she was had sex with me twice in about an 8 month period before I kicked her to the curb.

Wow. Just wow.
I fully expect a long period before people are comfortable enough with each other to bring sex into the relationship (again, people vary). But once you reach that stage...if you don't have enough chemistry to jump each other's bones at least once or twice a week (especially early in, when your physical infatuation is usually at its highest), you probably don't have enough to make it work (assuming sex is at all important to you).

It's entirely possible that I'm just that unattractive <shrug>.

Can't deny the possibility, but it might have nothing to do with it. I'm hardly an adonis, and my wife will not grace the pages of Cosmo...but if you have sparks, looks are often barely relevant.

Yup, you read that correctly newb. I know that my experiences are statistically insignificant blah blah blah but it's getting really hard to muster the energy to try again when the 5 times I've succeeded it's been so much work for so little results (and not just the sex, I throw everything I got into the relationship and she doesn't feel the need to contribute anything).

Maybe you're trying too hard. While compromise and selflessness are important parts of a successful relationship, if you feel like you're putting in more than you're getting back at ANY point, it's a bad sign...if you don't feel like you're getting a positive experience, why are you in the relationship in the first place? Relationships aren't an investment, where you put in time and effort and then eventually it pays dividends...a good relationship is pretty much it's own reward, all the time.

I'm starting to think that I can't fool anyone into thinking I'm an alpha instead of a beta (because the second the relationship starts she starts leaning hard on me for emotional and financial support but doesn't feel the need to give anything back. Heck, I might be an omega and not even realize it, much like the autistic guy I work with can't realize that young college girls aren't going to want to date a paunchy 50-something with a learning disability).

I've been married (relatively happily) for ten years...you can take my advice with a grain of salt or throw it in the dumpster if you want, but seriously: forget that "Game" bullshit. If you feel you need to fool people about who you are, you are already wasting your time trying for anything more than a one-night-stand. I'm not an alpha, and I don't pretend to be, but so what? From what you've said, I had more sex in the first year of my marriage than you've had ever.

For starters: do you have any female friends?

[Username17]

My girlfriend works half the week and her father spends a lot of time at her flat, and we still get in a lot more than 3 times a week. Sometimes two or three times in a day when we have free time.

-Username17

[Count Arioch the 28th]

For starters: do you have any female friends?

I have several female friends. For the most part, they consider sex every couple of months to be normal and that I'm just a big crybaby. I'm... not 100% sure why I'm friends with any of them.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

(broken down by age)

Broken down by age? That sounds like the Count :3c

Oh yeah? I'll... break you down... SHUT UP!

[PoliteNewb]

For starters: do you have any female friends?

I have several female friends. For the most part, they consider sex every couple of months to be normal and that I'm just a big crybaby. I'm... not 100% sure why I'm friends with any of them.

Sheesh. That thing I said above, about how you're supposed to get as much out of the relationship as you put in? That goes for friendships too. Moreso, really, because generally my feelings toward friends are less intense than those toward a romantic partner, so I make fewer allowances. I'm generally friends with people because I like being around them.

If you ever find yourself wondering why you're friends with a person, it's maybe time to ask that person that exact question, and see what their reaction is.

I asked that because IMO, friendship is the base starting point for any successful relationship (where I define successful as "lasts more than a year, and involves sex and devotion"). Take friendship, add intimacy, then add mutual orgasms. Voila. Not always easy, but simple.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

Well, in one friend's defense she does try very hard. This might be another generalization that I don't have the proper sampling to make, but it seems that women just aren't capable of even understanding rejection. Or understanding the concept of doing everything your partner wants and being told no for everything you want, or even the feeling of never having been offered sex even once in your life without begging for it for weeks on end.

Again, I want to believe that I've just had a really bad early adulthood, but it's hard to conceive of life being different right now.

[Orion]

There definitely exist women who have had all of those problems.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

You are probably right, I just have a bit of a "big picture" issue right now.

[DSMatticus]

Hm. When I'm with my girlfriend, it's usually more than once a day (but we don't get to see eachother very much at the moment - a few more weeks and that improves, woohoo). But one of us is having a lot more fun than the other, and it ain't me. If it isn't good for her, it's hard to get her to do it. It's something I'm trying to get her to improve, but... meh, it's frustrating.

[PoliteNewb]

This might be another generalization that I don't have the proper sampling to make, but it seems that women just aren't capable of even understanding rejection. Or understanding the concept of doing everything your partner wants and being told no for everything you want, or even the feeling of never having been offered sex even once in your life without begging for it for weeks on end.

It is a generalization, and a false one. And I'm sorry, but you are severely lacking in either imagination or empathy if you can't understand that women have these problems just as much as men. Moreso, in some cases, since women are often rated primarily (almost exclusively) on the scale of appearance, while men have several different potential scales of appeal. Ugly and/or overweight dudes can get good-looking women because of other factors (wealth, intelligence, talent, etc). Tell me how often you see an ugly and/or overweight woman with a good-looking man.

I sympathize with your situation, and I wish you all the best in improving it. But the fact that you've had a shit deal in the romance department does not make it okay to trivialize or deny other people's issues in the same department, based upon the fact that they have a vagina. That ain't cool. And step one in getting females to play with your wang is not making broad generalizations about them...if you carry resentment for women in general, that's going to show through in your interactions, and it's not sexy.
I am not trying to bust your chops, Count...I'm telling you this for your own good.

Hm. When I'm with my girlfriend, it's usually more than once a day (but we don't get to see eachother very much at the moment - a few more weeks and that improves, woohoo). But one of us is having a lot more fun than the other, and it ain't me. If it isn't good for her, it's hard to get her to do it. It's something I'm trying to get her to improve, but... meh, it's frustrating.

Your girlfriend never heard of 'reciprocity'? I mean, shit, there's a reason the 69 position was invented.
I don't use that angle myself (mainly because I actually enjoy going down on my wife), but I definitely recommend it. I'm assuming you and your girl talk about sex, what you like/dislike?

I generally appeal to what I call "the golden rule of orgasms"...I worry about yours, you worry about mine.

[DSMatticus]

I'm assuming you and your girl talk about sex, what you like/dislike?

Yeah, there's no surprises - we've talked about this specific problem, what would improve it, etc. etc. There's no prudish factor involved, thankfully. We're both very open.

I worry about yours, you worry about mine.

That's pretty much what I'm aiming for, but only one of us is there at the moment.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

Tell me how often you see an ugly and/or overweight woman with a good-looking man.

Way more often than I see an overweight unattractive man with any sort of woman. Then again, I think the women that grew up in this area are all pretty much overweight and unattractive; maybe I would see a difference if I left this area. (which is on "The List", I just haven't made it work yet, But every day I try!)

I am not trying to bust your chops, Count...I'm telling you this for your own good.

In my defense, I've pointed out all those points myself already. I'm just saying that even if my experiences are statistically irrelevant, they are still all I know and it's very hard to shake that. I was never a man with much faith in anything. It's a good thing to not have faith when you don't want to be suckered in by a fast-talking charlatan, it's a bad thing when it comes to trying new things (after all, I only have the word of people on the internet saying that I just had an unusual series of event; as much esteem as I hold yours and Mr. Trollman's advice, I have been burned from advice from the internet before ).

However, in less than a month I take a week off and go to Sweden. Even if I don't hook up with some beautiful Nordic giantess (and I will be making myself open to the possibility at the very least ) I do expect a week in a foreign country away from home will at the very least help me clear my mind if nothing else.

[Neeeek]

For starters: do you have any female friends?

I have several female friends. For the most part, they consider sex every couple of months to be normal and that I'm just a big crybaby. I'm... not 100% sure why I'm friends with any of them.

I've never been with any woman who would have been okay with sex every other month, or even every other week. Let's be clear: Your "friends" are outright lying to you or aren't sexually active at all. I would expect a dip in a longer relationship. but I've had sex over 50 times in the first month with several women I've dated.

I recommend that, instead of going to Sweden, go to Russia. I've never encountered more sexually aggressive women in my life.

[Username17]

I've never been with any woman who would have been okay with sex every other month, or even every other week. Let's be clear: Your "friends" are outright lying to you or aren't sexually active at all. I would expect a dip in a longer relationship. but I've had sex over 50 times in the first month with several women I've dated.

I recommend that, instead of going to Sweden, go to Russia. I've never encountered more sexually aggressive women in my life.

Or you know, Czech Republic.

Czechs have sex as often as the French; they start their sexual life as early as the Dutch; and they fear venereal disease as little as the Italians.

-Username17

[angelfromanotherpin]

Different people have different sex drives. Some people consider sex once a week to be torturously rare, and some people consider sex once a month to be torturously often.

These people should not be in sexual relationships with each other.