The Gaming Den

Posted: **Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:11 am**

Right, so I know I could just Elothar it, but Disgaea 3 teaches us that main characters can really just be a blend of a few things with something special (Mao is a Swordy Guy + Ice Mage and the "I'm a Player Character!" stuff is his unique appearance, special moves and plot stuff).

There is going to be a session of my Disgaea game at the end of the month, and then two weeks after that, another. But an old friend will be visiting, and wishes to cameo in it, which I'd say no to but... Nippon Ichi. It happens.

So her idea is that Laozi was horribly killed, then reincarnated in the Netherworld. Reincarnations being what they are (you reincarnate someone into a different class for new skills and stuff!) he is now a Daoist Nun. Complete with enormous boobs.

Now, she's been living in China for a while now, and a lot of my knowledge of the place (other than the 3 Kingdoms era and the occasional "Newsflash: Chinese police do something bad to someone!") comes from her warped perspective. But apparently, Daoism is all about the following:

[*]Enjoy your life
[*]Take your medicine so you have more life to enjoy
[*]Don't be a [EDITED]
[*]Go with the flow of what is happening around you
[*]FIREWORKS ARE FUCKING AWESOME

So how would... what kind of class mix would replicate this the best? My best guess would be a mix of Dungeonomicon Monk and Fire Mage, with some kind of feat for brewing potions or something. Does that sound about right? Or is there a better way to do this?

Posted: **Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:50 am**

Laozi is pretty clearly an Elementalist.

-Username17

Posted: **Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:57 am**

I would imagine that your own class, Long Wang of Wei Hung, would be perfect for this.

Posted: **Fri Jan 14, 2011 7:15 am**

Well, that makes it simple I suppose. Thanks.

So we'd basically have

Name: Laozi
Race: Human
Sex: Apparently Female
Age: ???
Class: Elementalist 7
Alignment: Nobody Cares

Str 8
Dex 14
Con 14 (16)
Int 16
Wis 16 (18)
Cha 14

HP: 41
Init +5
Speed 30'

AC: 20 (+2 Dex +2 Dodge +6 Armour)
flat 18 *Uncanny Dodge
touch 14

BAB/Grab: +3/+2
Attack: Magic Longbow +9 (1d10+2)

Fort +5
Ref +4
Will +9

Proficient: Simple Weapons, Light Armour, Battleaxe, Trident, Scimitar, Pick, Longbow

Feats:
Danger Sense (always actively searching)
Zen Archery (if you can hear it you can "see" it to shoot)
Elusive Target (no flanking/high ground bonuses)
Brew Potion (special: can just make one friggin' potion per day at no cost, I don't care)

Skills:
Balance +12
Concentrate +13
Heal +14
Knowledge (Religion) +13
Listen +14
Search +13
Survival +14
Tumble +10

Special:
Armoured Casting
Create Water, Air
Elemental Resistance 5
Elemental Familiar: Small Fire Elemental
Advanced Learning x3 (Druid/Wu Jen, not Illusion/Necro)

Spells per day:
Cantrips: 6 DC 14
-Attune Form, Caltrops, Detect Magic, Detect Poison, Light

1st: 7 DC 15
-Air Breathing, Entangle, Gust of Wind, Obscuring Mist, Pass Without Trace, Produce Flame, Speak With Plants, Stone Shatter, Summon Elemental I, Wall of Smoke, Water Breathing
+Cobra's Breath

2nd: 7 DC 16
-Binding Winds, Command Plants, Creeping Cold, Earthbind, Earthen Grace, Fog Cloud, Heat Metal, Protection From Arrows, Soften Earth and Stone, Summon Elemental II, Wall of Sand, Warp Wood, Wood Shape
+Pyrotechnics

3rd: 5 DC 17
-Blight, Control Water, Earth Reaver, Fire Shield, Fly, Plant Growth, Stone Shape, Stone Skin, Summon Elemental III, Wall of Fire, Wall of Water, Wind Wall
+Fireball

Equipment:
Nun Sexy Battle Garb (magic armour "Chain Shirt")
Confucius! (Reincarnated into an amulet: Wis-booster, can see in the darkness due to great insight)
Magic Longbow and "enough" arrows
Pictures of old self
Special Medicine (dubious quality and origins)
Massive Boobs (Con-booster, DC 15 Will vs Fascinate against melee attacks)

Does this seem acceptable? We're seriously looking at a single session once-off thing here, and the rest of the team will be either level 7 or 8 at that point. I see the session being a bit of a goofy post-game type thing where a new character rocks up, decides "I'm the main character!", there's a debate about it, they join up (we'll skip the usual N1 fight that happens), and then they can go off on a wild adventure where...

Maybe they fight another group who insist THEY are the main characters, and it's the quest to prove they are main.

Posted: **Fri Jan 14, 2011 7:51 pm**

The save DCs look a little on the low side for a primary spellcaster to me, but this seems like a perfectly playable character.

On another note...

Koumei wrote:Equipment:
Massive Boobs (Con-booster, DC 15 Will vs Fascinate against melee attacks)

Does that mean they're not real?

Posted: **Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:08 pm**

It seemed like a handy way to provide the effect of massive boobs, and really, in a world of easy reincarnations? It just about is like Eclipse Phase where you buy your ideal body and it's as real as anything else.

Posted: **Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:46 pm**

True dat.

Posted: **Sat Jan 15, 2011 6:35 pm**

Koumei wrote:It seemed like a handy way to provide the effect of massive boobs, and really, in a world of easy reincarnations? It just about is like Eclipse Phase where you buy your ideal body and it's as real as anything else.

My GF would argue that massive boobs are more of a hindrance than anything.

Posted: **Sat Jan 15, 2011 8:03 pm**

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:
Koumei wrote:It seemed like a handy way to provide the effect of massive boobs, and really, in a world of easy reincarnations? It just about is like Eclipse Phase where you buy your ideal body and it's as real as anything else.
My GF would argue that massive boobs are more of a hindrance than anything.

Sour grapes.

Posted: **Sat Jan 15, 2011 9:11 pm**

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:My GF would argue that massive boobs are more of a hindrance than anything.

This is an ill-advised attempt to apply real-world physics to a fantasy game.

Posted: **Sun Jan 16, 2011 12:42 am**

At most it can be a roleplay thing. Large breasts do indeed cause back pain, and get in the way and all that, but when you're a kick ass swordswoman with a 16 strength and con, you need boobs roughly the size of a large child to give you back pain to any real extent, I think.

So her character, with an 8... alright, yeah, maybe some back pain (though high con probably negates). But seriously, Koumei's running Disgaea, which runs, as far as I can tell, on Anime physics, in which boobs are only annoying when they would cause the most hilarity to ensue. Other wise, big breasts are always good for getting your way. Want to convince a bunch of other women you should get your way? Say the chick with the biggest rack wins. congrats.

Posted: **Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:05 am**

Prak_Anima wrote:Say the chick with the biggest rack wins. congrats.

From an episode of Sailor Moon:
Sub/original Japanese: "I should get the lead role because I have the biggest breasts! *biyon noise*" - Makoto (Sailor Jupiter)

Dub: "I should get the lead role because I have the most talent! *biyon noise*" - Lita (Sailor Jupiter)

Sailor Moon says: breasts == talent!

Posted: **Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:23 am**

Koumei wrote:
Prak_Anima wrote:Say the chick with the biggest rack wins. congrats.
From an episode of Sailor Moon:
Sub/original Japanese: "I should get the lead role because I have the biggest breasts! *biyon noise*" - Makoto (Sailor Jupiter)

Dub: "I should get the lead role because I have the most talent! *biyon noise*" - Lita (Sailor Jupiter)

Sailor Moon says: breasts == talent!

I was referencing Negima, but good to know it's not peculiar to that one show.

Posted: **Tue Jan 18, 2011 9:07 pm**

This deliberation has been derailed... But must say, considering the pros and cons of massive boobs is certainly entertaining.

Posted: **Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:20 am**

Count Arioch the 28th wrote:My GF would argue that massive boobs are more of a hindrance than anything.

Hers or yours?

Posted: **Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:30 am**

Josh_Kablack wrote:
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:My GF would argue that massive boobs are more of a hindrance than anything.
This is an ill-advised attempt to apply real-world physics to a fantasy game.

Believe it or not, most women are wearing the wrong-sized bras(70-90% based on studies), and might need to be wearing one's not sold in stores but made by special manufacturers.

I watched a documentary where a woman who I thought had large but not crazy boobs was told she should be wearing a size H..... she cried a little because she couldn't believe it. Her back pain went away after wearing one for a few weeks.

That being said, boobs should be no obstacle to warrior women. We have levitation and magic weight-displacing armor for a reason.

Posted: **Thu Jan 20, 2011 7:40 pm**

Among Classical Greeks, amazon was given a popular etymology as from a-mazos, "without breast", connected with an etiological tradition that Amazons had their right breast cut off or burnt out, so they would be able to use a bow more freely and throw spears without the physical limitation and obstruction.

Perhaps one massive breast is best for combat efficiency with ranged weapons?
The full set may incur negatives to hit.

Posted: **Thu Jan 20, 2011 7:53 pm**

Molochio wrote:Among Classical Greeks, amazon was given a popular etymology as from a-mazos, "without breast", connected with an etiological tradition that Amazons had their right breast cut off or burnt out, so they would be able to use a bow more freely and throw spears without the physical limitation and obstruction.

Hey, straight wikipedia copypasta. Okay. The mastectomy thing just isn't credible; eunuchs don't run any better than endowed men either. Robert Graves says Amazon is an Armenian word meaning moon-women, and notes that certain moon-priestess cults of the Black Sea area and a few other places were martial. That's good enough for me.

Posted: **Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:26 pm**

Well I certainly don't have enough personal investiture to argue for the cause of one breasted female warriors if someone is willing to cast doubt on the possible amazon reference provided by wiki.

The massive boobs do, after all, allow for the addition of some favored boob tropes in normal gaming that might otherwise be left largely to anime and videogames.
This is a pleasant contribution to most any scenario.

Posted: **Thu Jan 20, 2011 8:42 pm**

In art amazons are sometimes identified (ironically) by having one breast exposed. So there you go.

Posted: **Thu Jan 20, 2011 9:44 pm**

Is this where I burst everyone’s fantasy bubble by pointing out that breast size is in large part determined by hormones which in turn are determined by diet and pregnancy cycles? The short result of this is that just as modern diet changes have greatly increased the average height of people, they greatly impacted breast sizes as well.

So the breasts at the time of the Greeks (as you can see in the various statues) are nice, reasonable, but no way are they the huge monsters you see today (even before the silicone implants).

Posted: **Thu Jan 20, 2011 9:55 pm**

tzor wrote:So the breasts at the time of the Greeks (as you can see in the various statues) are nice, reasonable, but no way are they the huge monsters you see today (even before the silicone implants).

Classical Greek statues owe more to ancient ideals of beauty than to any sense of accuracy. That's why all the men have prepubescent genitals and none of them have any tumors.

Posted: **Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:44 pm**

Protip: Not all women have huge breasts. If you want to claim that an entire tribe cut off one of their breasts, you are going to have to go a little farther than "Because they wanted full range of motion." Most women already have that with two breasts.

Posted: **Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:49 am**

yeah, half my archery class last semester was women, as far as I could tell, even the one or two old enough to have possibly been hit by breast cancer had both tits, and none of them seemed hindered much.

Posted: **Fri Jan 21, 2011 8:22 am**

It would seem that all who are present favor the notion of warrior women with monstrous boobs which, in no form or fashion, hinder them or their combat efficiency.

I am certain that this new found common ground will serve as a building block to something positive.

The Gaming Den

The best fit for a character

The best fit for a character