The Gaming Den

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Sprinkle your conversations with nerd jargon. Depending on the type of nerd she likes (which is very important to find out. Because different nerds use different jargon) you sprinkling references, slangs and jargon identified to a certain sub-group of nerd-dom that she likes can score points.

As for alpha-male qualities, it is also interesting to note that alpha males can also be found within nerd circles. For example a player that knows the rules better than the DM isn't simply being a dick, he's also establishing dominance over a gaming group. So being an alpha male isn't wrong. I reckon that she prefers you to be less aggressive, but assertive should be fine. Since nerds can be as tenacious as a bulldog when their favourite subject matter is on the table.

Beyond that I'm not sure of anything else I can think off hand. Do critique if what I say rings false to you.

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No, it's a personality thing. Spending some serious time being antisocial and introverted can change who you are.

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I'm pretty sure the jargon advice is the *wrong* way to go. Since that's a dominance and aggression thing, which is the opposite of what she's looking for.

What do you consider to be your "alpha male" habits and how hard would it be to not do them? I don't know your girlfriend, obviously, but I can tell you based on my experience which ones are more likely to be bothering her.

If she's dating you, the "alpha male" qualities can't have been THAT big of an issue! What prompted this sudden request from your girlfriend, I wonder?

Try not being a dick. Think about saying less things that are solely intended to show off your radness/pump your ego.

Try less hard too.

Firstly, girls don't actually dig nerds (not even if the girls themselves are nerdy), she probably just read that nerds are more monogamous and go on to earn more or other made-up-statistics in a Cosmo article or some other such propaganda.

Secondly, changing your identity for a girlfriend is a sure way to lose said girlfriend. If she honestly likes you, that means you're her improvement project, and if you really like her, you'll make damn sure that project doesn't wrap up anytime soon ever.

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Depends on what sort of nerd she is attracted to. If you are that sort of nerd and she likes it. For date ideas, go to places that you enjoy for said reasons. If this means watching anime/cartoons at home or with friends, yeah that works. If it means a quick dinner and then Tron, sure.

For something more strenuous take her to a LARP and have a quick laugh as you stare at the rock paper scissor action.

Does your college have an Arboretum? That's my general catch-all. It has many benefits such as:

1. Cheap, without making you look cheap.

2. Being around trees and landscaping is great for introspection. Bonus points if you compose some sort of impromptu poetry, broads love that sort of thing.

3. umm.... I guess it's just two major ones.

Other ideas: The Zoo, Art Museums, plays, etc. These are things that have worked for me.

Also, anyone I know (including myself) that saw the move Watchmen with their SO's got some afterwards. I don't know why that is.

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ubernoob wrote:

Josh_Kablack wrote:Firstly, girls don't actually dig nerds (not even if the girls themselves are nerdy), she probably just read that nerds are more monogamous and go on to earn more or other made-up-statistics in a Cosmo article or some other such propaganda.

Secondly, changing your identity for a girlfriend is a sure way to lose said girlfriend. If she honestly likes you, that means you're her improvement project, and if you really like her, you'll make damn sure that project doesn't wrap up anytime soon ever.

Oh, agreed. I am 100% not going to change who I am. I am looking for date ideas to show off the side of me she likes more.

Date ideas are all I'm looking for.

Oh. Do you know another couple who plays board games? If so, get together and play something you like. Most games are designed for 4 people. Keep the wine flowing and the competition light and you'd be fine.

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ubernoob wrote:

Neeeek wrote:

ubernoob wrote:Oh, agreed. I am 100% not going to change who I am. I am looking for date ideas to show off the side of me she likes more.

Date ideas are all I'm looking for.

Oh. Do you know another couple who plays board games? If so, get together and play something you like. Most games are designed for 4 people. Keep the wine flowing and the competition light and you'd be fine.

Not locally. What are your thoughts on running her through a solo session of D&D? I can improvise pretty well from the DM chair.

It's a terrible idea. It's too adversarial. With a group, maybe. One on one is just asking for a fight.

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ubernoob wrote:

Neeeek wrote:

ubernoob wrote:snip

It's a terrible idea. It's too adversarial. With a group, maybe. One on one is just asking for a fight.

Let me rephrase. She's never played D&D before. I give her an excuse to roll dice and roleplay. Basically DM like you'd DM for your five year old. Still adversarial?

Yes. The very nature of the game is adversarial. Or pointless. Let me be clear: if the game isn't adversarial to some extent, you are just playing Magical Tea Party. The DM's job is to create problems for the players. Not something I'd recommend for a date.

I seriously recommend finding a couple who play games to get together with. Or creating one. You know a guy and a girl who'd consider hanging out and playing games? Hell, find a guy who likes playing games and ask him if he knows a girl he'd like to have an evening with and invite her yourself. "Me and my gf and one of my friends are getting together and chilling, playing some games on night X, we'd love to have you join us. I know it sounds a little different, but I'll be fun" might work.

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If you're going to MC a game for her, I recommend Vampire. I think we all know why.

Laser tag.

What exactly are your alpha dog tendencies that she dislikes about you? That can be a wide range of things.

Do you think she is interested in you? Try to be upfront with her if you have any signals. I have rarely seen anyone succeed with the "I will pretend to be friends but really I want something else" approach. Usually people end up in the friend zone AKA the unfuckable zone.

I would not go for the being a DM thing. If she thinks you are too dominant, inviting her to play a game in which you are basically god can go very poorly.

I'll second the Count's arboretum idea. There are a bunch of parks and things where I live and girls seem to like that sort of thing and also make positive assumptions about your character. If you really want to impress, try to find an especially beautiful area and show share it with her.

If you are going for a boardgaming night:

Nerdy: Cataan, Heroscape, Formula De, Shadow Hunters, History of the World, D&D Ravenloft, Wiz-War, Power Grid, Arkham Horror, Ticket to Ride, Puero Rico, Carcassone, Icehouse et al.

Not-Actually-Nerdy: 25 words or less, Cue Me, Pictionary, Apples to Apples or the zillion other charades variants available.

Bad Ideas: CCGs, monopoly, any form of Risk or Axis and Allies.

Raw Win: Living Pachisi

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