Fuck you all, you fucking fucks.

[Count Arioch the 28th]

I have a question for the board, do you think Jon Stewart is gay? Because he totally admitted being John Kerry's butt-boy on crossfire. If Jon Stewart was posting here, would you fucking derail threads complaining that he was a homosexual regardless of the content of his posts on yell obscenities at him about him having a homosexual relationship with a former presidential candidate?

Because I am, tired of this fucking farce. I am tired of Kaelik and his fucking autism causing him to scream incoherent rants at me, I am tired of Politenewb and his constant boasting of how much better his life is, I am tired of the lies and the bullying on this fucking board.

I was hoping if I started owning the accusations against me in a humorous and exaggerated way people would stop throwing them at me. Nope, Kaelik still fucking lies about me and no one calls him on it.

So fuck you people. Kaelik, I hope you-

[mod edit] death wish deleted[/mod edit]

[virgil]

o_0

[Ted the Flayer]

And if you don't believe that, this is my sock puppet. I said the exact fucking things as "Ted the Flayer" as I did "Count Arioch" and none of you hypocritical fucks said a goddamn thing (except for Prak referring to me as "The New Count Arioch") when posting as Ted.

Seriously, I did NOT change my posting style. The only difference? I didn't have to constantly fend off accusations of sexism as Ted.

So don't say one goddamn word about how I "deserve" it. You fucks just want to silence me by bringing up shit from years ago, even when the things I'm saying now aren't fucking sexist. So all of you all can eat all the motherfucking dicks you hypocritical lying fuckbags.

[John Magnum]

I haven't even been here for years, and I've noticed that Count Arioch is virulently misogynistic. What the fuck is this bullshit?

[Foxwarrior]

Nope, Ted the Flayer makes far fewer comments on things relating to girl troubles, and his life story anecdotes were not as horrifying.

[SlyJohnny]

I dunno mang, if you don't hate women, then just cop to it and say "yeah, I've said some sexist shit in the past when I was feeling low and bitter, but I don't believe that now", or just own it and come out of the closet as a "men's right advocate" or whatever else sexist douchebags call themselves instead of sexist douchebags these days.

When someone interjects "but didn't you previously say-" don't just stare at them and scowl like they've brought up something completely irrelevant.

As to people bullying you, I guess I can't speak to that, that's just how you people interact with one another. I personally think it doesn't enable you to get any actual communicating done, but the majority seems to like it, so.

[erik]

Nope, Ted the Flayer makes far fewer comments on things relating to girl troubles, and his life story anecdotes were not as horrifying.

This. Which is likely a product of this:

I was hoping if I started owning the accusations against me in a humorous and exaggerated way people would stop throwing them at me.

By doing that, you made the different personas... different. One says objectionable and sometimes horrible things, the other notsomuch.

If Kaelik and Politenewb are bothering you, ignore em. I think you'll note that the vast majority of the time when you're getting barbs poked at you, it ain't like everyone joins in. Last slap-fight of posts I saw was you and Kaelik going back and forth. If you ignored him then it wouldn't have even existed. I stopped reading that thread until the slap-fight ended. Speaking for myself, I just don't have the drive to get in the middle of it, especially since I cannot tell how much of things are just exaggerations for humorous effect.

Just sayin, ignore and you'll be happier.

[Josh_Kablack]

So then, I guess I should say ....I'm sorry for not standing up for your right to be a caricature of yourself by rebutting people who I have on Ignore.

If you're ever in da Burgh, look me up. And if you wanna come through on Independence Day or New Year's Eve, I can point you to awesome geek-full parties.

[Kaelik]

I am tired of Kaelik and his fucking autism causing him to scream incoherent rants at me

Your inability to understand something doesn't make it incoherent.

Nope, Kaelik still fucking lies about me and no one calls him on it.

[Ted the Flayer talking about how we bring up things from years ago when you aren't saying sexist things now]

So 1) Point to something that is a lie. Because you are super dumb as shit with this complete bullshit accusation.

2) When the fuck do I ever bring up stupid things you have said in the past that you didn't bring up first? Seriously. When you say stupid sexist shit now, I sometimes point out you are saying stupid sexist shit, but frankly, that doesn't happen very often, so I'm not sure where your persecution complex comes from. But I sure as fuck don't bring up nebulous past things you said when you don't lead with them.

But let's actually look at the actual thread that got you so hot in a bother that a week later you made a post about how I am evil.

Did I bring up your past things? No, you did. You, completely out of fucking nowhere, said that you had never said anything sexist in the past, and that anyone who ever called you sexist was full of shit. You brought that up with no one else talking about sexism at all, as a precursor to your stupid comment about romantic subplots.

How the fuck is that me dredging up your past and lying about you? That is you dredging up your past to generally insult the nebulous group of people you think are responsible for your bad reputation who definitely aren't you.

Hey fucker, you brought it up, not me. How is you bringing up your past me lying about you?

How is you bringing up your past me bringing up things from years ago?

[Whipstitch]

FWIW, I suspected the Ted account was a sock puppet from early times due to jokes about being an oldfag at heart and talking about how things would be better if women would quit being picky and just put out. I let it slide because they were jokes and jokes are ambiguous so bam, benefit of the doubt. That last bit of equivocation that led to the current dustup though? That pissed me off. I don't even know how to process someone claiming to feel unfairly victimized for the shitty shit they said.

[Whatever]

I was hoping if I started owning the accusations against me in a humorous and exaggerated way people would stop throwing them at me.

Wait, really? This is a forum that has had, at various times, Roy, Tzor, and shadzar, among other all-stars. Unless you say "hey, I am not serious" in every post, it is impossible to distinguish an exaggerated persona from a serious, if awful, one. Either way, you'd go on my ignore list. http://tgdmb.com/ignore.php it's great, use it.

[PoliteNewb]

And if you don't believe that, this is my sock puppet. I said the exact fucking things as "Ted the Flayer" as I did "Count Arioch" and none of you hypocritical fucks said a goddamn thing (except for Prak referring to me as "The New Count Arioch") when posting as Ted.

Seriously, I did NOT change my posting style. The only difference? I didn't have to constantly fend off accusations of sexism as Ted.

I call shenanigans.

I just skimmed through 7 pages of Ted the Flayer's most recent posts, going back to February. I didn't see one single post complaining about his sex life, or his love life, or women in general.

I skim Count's posts, and while the rampant misogyny has actually been pretty tame lately, I see numerous posts about his past romantic life and what a horrorshow it was, and how no one will lay him and how shitty his life is in general (along with, oddly enough, numerous posts about his giant penis). And I didn't even need to go back past April to find this gem:

And the idea of me getting everything while women who fail to live up to my expectations die in the streets does give me a boner that could bludgeon a horse to death...

So no, you did not post the exact same shit as Count and as Ted. And here's a protip: if you post like someone with multiple personality disorder, people will in fact treat you like two different people.

(not to mention...that little skimming-session also showed me that I've replied to Count about twice in the past year...mainly because I have him on ignore. It works great!)

Hell, if you got tired of people bitching at you, why didn't you just start posting as Ted all the time?

Count, I apologize that simply pointing out that your life experience is very atypical (and let's face it, as you describe your life, that should be a noncontroversial statement) was seen by you as unseemly gloating on my part. It was meant to be encouraging; I'm not special, there's no real reason you shouldn't be able to have a decent life when so many other people do. Mainly trying to tell you you're not a loser, you've probably just had some shit luck.

But I don't apologize for calling you on your misogyny. It's nothing personal, I just don't like that shit, no matter who does it. When you posted something vaguely sexist as Ted last August, I called you/him on that too.

Good luck. But I suggest you try to see a therapist. I'm pretty sure there are some who do pro bono work.

[Surgo]

Everyone here knew that Ted the Flayer was Count Arioch, it was pretty fucking obvious from day one. The main difference is that the Ted the Flayer account would shut the fuck up about how much he hated women. Thanks to you finally learning to shut the fuck up about it, we stopped calling you on it. Apparently that lesson was emphatically not learned.

And damn right am I going to call you on any kind of misogyny when I'm in the thread, because that shit ain't right.

[Meikle641]

... I hadn't noticed they were the same person.

[Chamomile]

It occurred to me that they were very similar, but I didn't think they were actually the same guy. Either way, the fact that Kaelik Kaeliks isn't really evidence of how the board as a whole is irredeemably awful. Kaelik has demonstrated a couple of times that he's more interested in pursuing his stupid vendettas than contributing anything interesting to a discussion, but so what? Kaelik is one dude. Put him on ignore and move on.

[fectin]

I hadn't noticed at all.

The Ted account has a similar style, but a better sense of humor and dwells a lot less on women and sex generally.

[angelfromanotherpin]

Count, I think you have a big problem regarding knowing what misogyny actually is. For fuck's sake, you got pre-emptively defensive while posting about how you didn't like romantic subplots in movies. That's... not even vaguely misogynist.

So when you say that your Count account and your Ted account were equally offensive... that really doesn't mean anything, because it is clear that you don't know what is and what isn't offensive.

[Koumei]

Right at the start, when Count wasn't exaggerating (before the hilarious tale of living in tunnels, armed with only his spider and his MLP fucktoy), Ted was a bit of a douche and I put him on ignore.

Since then, sorry, but the Ted persona has totally mellowed out. I still can't be bothered removing him from it, but yeah, you've actually made Ted into a more pleasant person than you, Count. And I say this as one of the people who gets that you are just going over the top for laughs (although that was not always the case).

[DSMatticus]

I'm surprised more people didn't think Count and Ted were the same person, honestly. I thought it was one of those super obvious 'secrets' everyone knew and nobody said anything because, well, why would you? "HAHA YOU'RE POSTING UNDER A NEW NAME FOR SOME UNDEFINED PERSONAL REASONS BUT I KNOW HAHA I'M BEING AN ASSHOLE AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME"

That said, the reason you didn't get yelled at all the time for being a misogynist as Ted is pretty damn obvious - you didn't say the same misogynistic things that you did as Count. If you had rambled at length about your terrible experiences in relationships and how they made you mistrust women or whatever, it'd have been obvious to everyone you're Count. Sure, Ted said a few things that were uncomfortably borderline, and even got called on it once or twice that I've seen (but you even handled that better as Ted, really), but it was miles apart from Count's posts. You were actually doing such a bangup job that I eventually started to doubt myself and wonder if the two really were the same person.

The Ted account has a similar style, but a better sense of humor and dwells a lot less on women and sex generally.

but yeah, you've actually made Ted into a more pleasant person than you, Count. And I say this as one of the people who gets that you are just going over the top for laughs (although that was not always the case).

But these, these bits right here - that's the real moral of the story. When you start talking about women and sex and relationships, you usually end up saying something horribly offensive and this is the sort of place where people will call you on that shit even if they like you. When you avoid talking about women and sex and relationships, it turns out it's actually enjoyable to have you around - both as Count and Ted, but it shines through more as Ted because you aren't saying something terribly offensive every so often that starts a big fight and makes you think everyone hates you 24/7.

But anyway, final point: you have a persecution complex. I don't mean that in a jokey hah hah look at Count overreacting way. I legitimately mean you think people are out to find reasons to hate on you out of thin air or on flimsy pretexts when they aren't and you should slow down, relax, do whatever it is you do to vent a little bit, and then reconsider what's happened here from the start. You really have said offensive things about women in the past and what you said that set off this mess really was dismissive of the idea that you'd ever been misogynistic (when you clearly had been). So Kaelik (and some others) correctly hit the bullshit buzzer on that idea (that you'd never been misogynistic). And he also kaelik'd the fuck out, because Kaelik loves to argue and Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?

Really, if Kaelik gets under your skin just put him on ignore. He is an unnecessarily volatile personality even by the Den's standards, and conversations with him will always be vastly more frustrating than they need to be.

[Whipstitch]

that really doesn't mean anything, because it is clear that you don't know what is and what isn't offensive.

This, and the Jon Stewart analogy is sorta illustrative of the dynamic at play here. By Limbaugh standards tgdmb is filled with terrible commie pinko feminazis, and so practically nobody here is going to blink when Jon Stewart makes a joke that cops to being a liberal in a manner which, if anything, goes to comedic lengths to acknowledge liberal acceptance of homosexuality. Likewise, if I said that "You know, I'm straight, but this Jason Collins thing is impressive enough that I'm willing to offer up my butt for his personal use," I doubt anyone here would give many shits. Not because because these statements are jokes, but because they're jokes made in the spirit of solidarity and acceptance of ideologies that few if anyone here particularly objects to.

Misogynist or racist jokes, on the other hand, are at best subversive. When they just kind of exist for seemingly no reason they make me feel sort of sad, angry, dismissive or vulnerable depending on the context.

[Kaelik]

Kaelik gonna kaelik. Whatcha gonna do?

I'm Kaelik, and I support this message.

[John Magnum]

I think Kaelik is pretty all right.

[Kaelik]

I think Kaelik is pretty all right.

Yeah, there are some people who seem to genuinely hate me/drastically undervalue my contributions to the board/get really upset about the fact that I enjoy arguing on the internet, which I assume is just because they are envious, because seriously, who the fuck is going to call it a bad thing to xkcd on this board.

Last I checked, the most prestigious amongst them was K. But I don't particularly claim to understand it, and as far as it goes, it's not like my negative contributions to the board are any more than Lagos, and certainly less than PLs, they just happen to be of lesser magnitude and more generally dispersed, as opposed to Lago's immediate shutdown of all resource management discussions that aren't WoF, or PLs immediate shutdown of any attempt to talk about diplomacy.

We all have our quirks, mine just makes it impossible to get mad at me for my quirk without feeding into it, so I probably get ignored more than most.

[PoliteNewb]

Yeah, there are some people who seem to genuinely hate me/drastically undervalue my contributions to the board/get really upset about the fact that I enjoy arguing on the internet, which I assume is just because they are envious, because seriously, who the fuck is going to call it a bad thing to xkcd on this board.

LOL. Sure Kaelik...those people who find you abrasive and annoying? It's totally envy.
If you seriously believe that, your self-delusion rivals Count's.

[Kaelik]

LOL. Sure Kaelik...those people who find you abrasive and annoying? It's totally envy.
If you seriously believe that, your self-delusion rivals Count's.

No, I know it is actually because they are mad at me for arguing too much on the internet. But I make the xkcd reference to show how stupid I think they are for believing that is a valid criticism, and I make the envy joke to show how hypocritical I think they are for using it as criticism.