Angry Sober Review: Apocalypse for d6 Ed
Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2013 5:07 am
WELCOME TO THE APOCALYPSE
I wish we were talking X-Men here
Okay, so some of you don't even know what Apocalypse is. You're the lucky ones. Have you ever played Warhammer 40k and gone "You know, it's time-consuming, unbalanced and a bit stupid, but just isn't time-consuming, unbalanced or stupid ENOUGH"?
Well if so, this is the game for you. It's a supplement for 40k. Specifically, Apocalypse was made official in the days of 4th Edition, back when smoke launchers were awesome and... I think that was when they did Demon Hunters and Witch Hunters, or maybe that was third. Whatever. Your average game was 1,000 to 1,500 points, and this was for games of 4,000 or more points. It was "fuck your force organisation chart, just bring any number of any kind of unit, even from different armies!" and it introduced bigger, badder stuff that involved converting your money into Poundingtons and giving it all to Forgeworld.
Then 5th edition came along and changed everything, and with it, they changed Apocalypse. They introduced other supplements as well, but no-one gave a shit, you either played 40k normal (the "sweet spot" being 1,500 to 2,500 points) or you played Apocalypse. They also released all of three amazing kits to go along with it, so if you were Orks or Imperial Guard, you didn't need Forgeworld.
NOW WE'RE IN SIXTH EDITION, LAND OF THE RANDOM TABLES! Do you like rolling on random tables? WELL YOU'LL FUCKING LOVE THIS! WE REPLACE ALL STRATEGY, THOUGHT, DECISION-MAKING, PLAYER-AGENCY AND INTEREST WITH RANDOM TABLES!
I should explain something about 6Ed: it's called d6 Ed for a reason. You just randomly roll everything. Charging? Yeah, roll to see how far you run. Terrain? Yes, you still have difficult (roll for move distance) and dangerous (roll for death), but you now also have MYSTERIOUS terrain (roll to see if the jungle eats everyone or if you randomly teleport). The fucking objectives on which you sit for victory? Roll to see if it counts double, doesn't count, explodes, gives you a bonus special rule or whatever. Psykers? Fuck your basic powers, NOW YOU ROLL AT THE START OF THE GAME TO SEE WHAT POWERS YOU HAVE! HEY BROODLORD, BROODLORD! GUESS WHAT? YOU NOW HAVE A POWER THAT REQUIRES ROLLING TO HIT USING YOUR BS OF ZERO! HAHAHA!
Yeah, that's why they are sculpted in the "DO NOT WANT" pose
Oh by the way, every army has one Warlord. That's one HQ choice that gets to be more important. They get a special ability, and it might be shit because guess how you generate it? YOU ROLL ON A MOTHERFUCKING TABLE. Also, your opponent gets an extra victory point for killing them.
Now this is all regular 6Ed at the moment. Add in some Daemons for more fun (randomly roll the special weapons and gifts that unit leaders get, randomly cause warp storm shit every turn, randomly heal or destroy units when they lose in combat). But what does Apocalypse add? I bet you're just waiting for it!
Well you can wait for the next post, but rest assured, Apocalypse adds stuff for every army.
Except Sisters of Battle.
I wish we were talking X-Men here
Okay, so some of you don't even know what Apocalypse is. You're the lucky ones. Have you ever played Warhammer 40k and gone "You know, it's time-consuming, unbalanced and a bit stupid, but just isn't time-consuming, unbalanced or stupid ENOUGH"?
Well if so, this is the game for you. It's a supplement for 40k. Specifically, Apocalypse was made official in the days of 4th Edition, back when smoke launchers were awesome and... I think that was when they did Demon Hunters and Witch Hunters, or maybe that was third. Whatever. Your average game was 1,000 to 1,500 points, and this was for games of 4,000 or more points. It was "fuck your force organisation chart, just bring any number of any kind of unit, even from different armies!" and it introduced bigger, badder stuff that involved converting your money into Poundingtons and giving it all to Forgeworld.
Then 5th edition came along and changed everything, and with it, they changed Apocalypse. They introduced other supplements as well, but no-one gave a shit, you either played 40k normal (the "sweet spot" being 1,500 to 2,500 points) or you played Apocalypse. They also released all of three amazing kits to go along with it, so if you were Orks or Imperial Guard, you didn't need Forgeworld.
NOW WE'RE IN SIXTH EDITION, LAND OF THE RANDOM TABLES! Do you like rolling on random tables? WELL YOU'LL FUCKING LOVE THIS! WE REPLACE ALL STRATEGY, THOUGHT, DECISION-MAKING, PLAYER-AGENCY AND INTEREST WITH RANDOM TABLES!
Yeah, that's why they are sculpted in the "DO NOT WANT" pose
Oh by the way, every army has one Warlord. That's one HQ choice that gets to be more important. They get a special ability, and it might be shit because guess how you generate it? YOU ROLL ON A MOTHERFUCKING TABLE. Also, your opponent gets an extra victory point for killing them.
Now this is all regular 6Ed at the moment. Add in some Daemons for more fun (randomly roll the special weapons and gifts that unit leaders get, randomly cause warp storm shit every turn, randomly heal or destroy units when they lose in combat). But what does Apocalypse add? I bet you're just waiting for it!
Well you can wait for the next post, but rest assured, Apocalypse adds stuff for every army.
Except Sisters of Battle.
