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Annnnd I'm out of books. I've read the Wheel of Time series so many times, that I can't enjoy it anymore.
Anyone know any books that are a bit like that series? I mean, vaguely phantasy and magic, and all the girls are bitches type thing.

Steven Brust, Vlad Taltos series?

I can recommend the First Law trilogy, the Long Price quartet, and Firethorn.

Well I'm not sure about that last one but might I recommend the works of Brandon Sanderson. He's the guy who did the last three WoT books. Consider picking up the Mistborn Trilogy, or if long series of doorstopers is you're cup of tea he's also writing one of those the second book is coming out this month.

Lord Mistborn wrote:Well I'm not sure about that last one but might I recommend the works of Brandon Sanderson. He's the guy who did the last three WoT books. Consider picking up the Mistborn Trilogy, or if long series of doorstopers is you're cup of tea he's also writing one of those the second book is coming out this month.

What is a doorstopper?

A book large enough to hold a door open with.

David Eddings does that some. For better or worse.

Try the Begariad or the Elenium.

Basically any book that's heavy enough to keep a door open.

Harry Potter, WoT, Game of Thrones, Cryptonomicon -- all doorstoppers.

I hate recommending bad books but you seem to like bad books so you should read the "Sword of Truth" series. It's "vaguely fantasy and magic" and the girls are definitely bitchy.

It's strange that you consider WoT as vaguely fantasy and magic.

The Stormlord Trilogy.

Game On,
fbmf

Cynic wrote:I hate recommending bad books but you seem to like bad books so you should read the "Sword of Truth" series. It's "vaguely fantasy and magic" and the girls are definitely bitchy.

No. No no no. Even someone who "likes bad books" doesn't deserve to have Sword of Truth inflicted on them.

In the category "series of huge books" I'd recommend Memory, Sorrow and Thorn by Tad Williams. It's better written than most fantasy, but on the other hand it is severely lacking in the armies of cloned bitches department.

The Sword of Truth by Terry Goodkind is tolerably written shlock with lots of bitchy women for the first few books, but then it gets really, really bad. And then it goes insanely objectivist, which is where I dropped the series. From what I've read later on it becomes a series about math, until it suddenly returns to being a mostly rational series for the last few books. I guess there was a clause allowing the publisher to hire a ghost writer to finish the series if the first author got committed to an asylum or something.

If you're more into the "neverending series but I can't stop despite how bad it gets" I'd recommend the Midkemia series of series by Raymond E. Feist. The Riftwar books are good (Magician is only okay, but it's a first effort so that's excusable. The Serpentwar is horrifically bad. Then it's mostly shlock. But you have like fifty books to plow through and at least it's not Gor.

If you just want a good farmboy-becomes-demigod series, definitely read the Belgariad by Eddings. You should also read his Elenium series. But for all that is holy, do not EVER think "you know, I'd like to read more about these characters" after reading them. IT IS A MISTAKE TO THINK SO.

If you do think that, read the sequel to the Belgariad, called the Malloreon. It's bad, but it might cure you of your evil thoughts before you pick up the Elenium's sequel series. DO NOT EVER READ THE TAMULI SERIES. THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN FATHOM ITS TERRIBLENESS.

That is, unless you've read anything else by Eddings. It is all shit, all of it shittier than the rest of the shit.

Also, Eddings is pretty low on number of bitches, but the bitches he offer are high-quality bitches. Their snootiness and castrating ways are hard to beat.

Alternately, if what you like of the Wheel of Time is to read a five-volume story stretched over fifteen books, you can look at L.E. Modesitt's Recluce series. In that case, there's a single story, repeated every book for, what, 12 or 13 books by now? I think I stopped at the book where the hero leaves Recluce to become an expert cheesemaker or something.

People have recommended Glen Cook's and Steven Brust's unique takes on fantasy, and they're good ideas. But if you're more into bland cookie-cutter fantasy settings with forgettable characters, you could instead look at Melanie Rawn's Dragon Prince/Dragon Star series. Or if you liked the Wheel of Time's glacial publishing pace, her Ruins of Ambrai series is awesome in that the last book has been due for a decade and a half and she's not working on it.

I'd list tons of other midlist series but honestly, they're pretty interchangeable. Robin Hobb, Sara Douglass, David Farland, whatever, these are readable authors telling not-terrible-but-not-amazing stories. You can pretty much pick a random book from you local bookstore's fantasy section and it'll be one of these guys.

I would recommend Discworld. The books are individually pretty manageable, and while the world is fantasy, there is actually very little protagonist controlled magic thrown around, and Pratchett has a tendency to write women who are pretty independent--which might be seen as bitchy. There are also a good thirty or so of them, with little indication that Pratchett's stopping anytime soon, despite being 65 and suffering from the early stages of Alzheimers.

This next one is supposed to be his last one.

He's gotten past the "early stages", sadly.

Cynic wrote:I hate recommending bad books but you seem to like bad books so you should read the "Sword of Truth" series. It's "vaguely fantasy and magic" and the girls are definitely bitchy.

It's strange that you consider WoT as vaguely fantasy and magic.

This sums up my thoughts.

I was gonna offer suggestions, but most of the crap that I'm aware of are already posted, and I'd have to start suggesting good books instead and that didn't sound like what you wanted.

Oh! Maybe Roger Zelazny's Amber books. Female characters aren't necessarily bitches but they rarely get lines and are treated such that I would not blame them if they were.

Yeah, unfortunately it's more accurate to say that Pratchett has a variant of early onset Alzheimer. It wipes out your visual processing first but has the same endgame as other forms.

That's a shame, I hadn't heard the latest. It's also a real shame that the man who upon being knighted went out and forged his own meteoric iron sword can't use pure badassery to fight Alzheimers.

Well, there are still twenty+ books, and his daughter may take over. I know she's handling the Night Watch TV series.

Raising Steam will be #40.

Is Raising Steam Discworld? I hadn't heard anything regarding that yet.

Fred Saberhagen's Books of Swords are decent enough. That's 11 books, and you can go read the Empire of the East series and stuff if you want more books in the same world.

-Username17

The Lies of Locke Lamora/Red Seas Under Red Skies, though again, possibly short on Bitchy characters. Supposed to be 7 books long, but like the Wheel of Time, expect the author to die before he finishes the series, despite only presently being 35 (6 year gap between book 2 and 3).

For LoTR level fantasy/magic, I would also recommend C.J> Cherryh's "Fortress" series and also Guy Gavriel Kay's "Fionavar tapestry."

Fortress doesn't really have any bitchy women aside from the antagonist in book two and four.


Fionavar has some really strong female characters *who* could be classified as bitchy (but I'd disagree).

Really, I'll go with what Emerald said, don't read shitty books. These two series are at least decent.

I'd second Saga of Recluce, and also L. E. Modestitt Jr.'s Corean Chronicles.

As someone who also occasionally enjoys the mediocre fantasy series, I'd also recomend anything by Gene Wolfe. Particularly Book of the New Sun, and also Wizard Knight. But those don't fall under the 'mediocre but long running' category.

I recommend The Malazan Book Of The Fallen. It'll take a while to get into, but it's suitably epic and long-winded.

Sigil wrote:I'd second Saga of Recluce, and also L. E. Modestitt Jr.'s Corean Chronicles.

There's also his Imager Portfolio, the eighth and last book of which comes out early next year.

Like Mister Dee said, the Saga of Recluce is fairly repetitive, but it's one of those series that stretches over long periods of time so the events of earlier books are only legends in the later books (e.g. one book is about a majority female ship's crew trying to build a society and survive conflict with surrounding nations after being stranded and involves a lot of diplomacy and such, and later books depict them as terrifying mindless Amazons that can kill you just by looking at you because the other civilizations were freaked the fuck out by their combat skills) and is focused as much on worldbuilding as it is on characters.

Basically, if you can deal with 13 books of "Rand is the Dragon, Mat is lucky, Perrin is a blacksmith, Nynaeve pulls her braid a lot, Egwene is diplomatic, repeat as necessary," and you liked all of the politicking and exploration in WoT, you won't have any problems with Recluce.

Seconding the First Law trilogy (along with Best Served Cold, The Heroes and Red Country) and the Lies of Locke Lamora books.

Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver trilogy is pretty hefty and there's always the Last Call series by Tim Powers if you want to go more After Sundown than D&D with your fantasy novels.