[5E] Warlock Patron: The Pied Jester
Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2021 11:59 pm
Ok, yes, I know. 5e, boo hiss. But, eh, it works to fill the game void if you have a group you like, and honestly, while I think the 5e warlock could use, say, one more spell slot overall, I do genuinely like the 5e warlock over the 3e one.
And musing about clowns for something else yesterday made me think about making a clown warlock subclass. So I've been working on that. Still need a 14th level ability, but I figure this is a decent start, and maybe people would find it entertaining/an excuse to call me names.
Edit: I've made a few mechanical changes. Struckout text is removed, underlined text is what I've added/changed the struckout text to.
Otherworldly Patron: The Pied Jester
Expanded Spell List
1st– Feather Fall*, Tasha’s Hideous Laughter
2nd– Animal Messenger*, Phantasmal Force
3rd– Feign Death*, Leomund’s Tiny Hut*
4th– Compulsion, Staggering Smite
5th– Mislead, Seeming
See Pied Jester Spells for particular cosmetic alterations to some of these spells
Art of Pies and Japes
At 1st level, you gain proficiency in Acrobatics and Performance, and learn the Vicious Mockery and Conjure Pie and Seltzer (see Pied Jester Spells) cantrips, which counts as a warlock cantrip, but does not count against your number of cantrips known. You may use the invocations Agonizing Blast, Grasp of Hadar, Lance of Lethargy and Repelling Blast to augment your Vicious Mockery cantrip as if it were Eldritch Blast (treating a failed save by the target as hitting your target for the latter three).
Additionally, as a warlock of the Pied Jester, your eldritch blast takes the form of flung pies, sprayed seltzer water, and other such clown artforms, and leaves a clinging residue to your targets which deals damage equal to half that initially dealt to the target on their next turn. This clinging residue obscures their vision and dampens their pride, and until their next turn, where they can automatically wipe it off, they have disadvantage on perception checks, and attacks against them are made at advantage.
Slapstick
Starting at 6th level, you have learned the art of taking hard hits with nothing more than a bruised ego and some scrapes. You are resistant to bludgeoning damage. When an enemy you can see hits you with an attack, you may use your reaction to halve the damage. Additionally, as part of the clown art of slapstick, you learn to turn wild performative flailing motions into great feats of acrobatics, and can likewise use this to entertain, doubling your proficiency bonus for any Acrobatics checks, as well as Performance checks made to perform slapstick, acrobatics, and similar circus routines.
Pratfall
Starting at 10th level, when you would be reduced to 0 hp, you can use your reaction to fall prone and halve the damage taken, while also dealing half the damage of the attack to your attacker.use your slapstick feature to reduce the damage of a hit, you may fall prone. If you do, your attacker takes the same damage you take (after reduction), as your pratfall redirects some of the attack back to them. You may use this ability a number of times equal to your proficiency modifier, at which point you must take a long rest before you can use it again.
While you are prone, whether after having used this ability or having dropped prone normally (but not if an effect outside of your control has rendered you prone), you can move at your normal speed, and take the Dodge action as a bonus action on each of your turns as you performatively flail and stumble. While you are prone, you may stand up without spending any movement.
Pied Jester Spells
A few spells take on particular appearances when cast by a warlock of the Pied Jester:
Vicious Mockery
If a warlock of the Pied Jester has a pie in hand when they cast Vicious Mockery, they may elect to fling the pie at their target instead of verbally insulting them. If they do so, the pie strikes automatically, but has no further effect on its own (even if it was conjured with Conjure Pie and Seltzer).
Feather Fall
When a warlock of the Pied Jester casts this spell, it has its normal mechanical effect. However, rather than slowing the speed of the fall, the target falls at full force, and flattens slightly upon impact, but does not take any damage while the spell is active. The target may land on their feet, or on their front or back, at the caster’s option, but regardless, they immediately regain their footing, and the method of landing is purely cosmetic.
Animal Messenger
When a warlock of the Pied Jester casts this spell, rather than compelling a nearby actual animal to deliver the message, the caster creates a balloon animal, which may have any shape they desire but is still Tiny in size. If the mechanical stats of the messenger come into play, simply use the closest approximate beast.
Feign Death
When a warlock of the Pied Jester casts this spell, the target goes through a short, overly dramatic performance of dropping dead, at which point it lays spread out, with a daisy clutched between their hands on their chest. This performance takes no time worth tracking.
Leomund’s Tiny Hut
When a warlock of the Pied Jester casts this spell, rather than a small dome of monochromatic force, they conjure a miniature circus tent, with alternating stripes of any two colors of the caster’s choice.
New Spell
Conjure Pie and Seltzer
Conjuration Cantrip
Casting Time: Bonus Action
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
You create a single pie of the type of your choice in your hand or a spray of about a pint of carbonated water (which may be flavored, if you desire). The pie may be flung at a target within 20 ft as a separate ranged spell attack which deals no damage but imposes disadvantage on their next action, and persuasion checks until the pie is washed off, which takes an action. The seltzer may be sprayed at an adjacent target as part of casting, but has no effect save for extinguishing any small fires in the target’s space.
The pie may be eaten, in which case it satisfies hunger as if it were a single ration. If not thrown or eaten, the pie spoils in 24 hours. The seltzer, other than being carbonated and perhaps flavored, is normal water.
And musing about clowns for something else yesterday made me think about making a clown warlock subclass. So I've been working on that. Still need a 14th level ability, but I figure this is a decent start, and maybe people would find it entertaining/an excuse to call me names.
Edit: I've made a few mechanical changes. Struckout text is removed, underlined text is what I've added/changed the struckout text to.
Otherworldly Patron: The Pied Jester
Expanded Spell List
1st– Feather Fall*, Tasha’s Hideous Laughter
2nd– Animal Messenger*, Phantasmal Force
3rd– Feign Death*, Leomund’s Tiny Hut*
4th– Compulsion, Staggering Smite
5th– Mislead, Seeming
See Pied Jester Spells for particular cosmetic alterations to some of these spells
Art of Pies and Japes
At 1st level, you gain proficiency in Acrobatics and Performance, and learn the Vicious Mockery and Conjure Pie and Seltzer (see Pied Jester Spells) cantrips, which counts as a warlock cantrip, but does not count against your number of cantrips known. You may use the invocations Agonizing Blast, Grasp of Hadar, Lance of Lethargy and Repelling Blast to augment your Vicious Mockery cantrip as if it were Eldritch Blast (treating a failed save by the target as hitting your target for the latter three).
Additionally, as a warlock of the Pied Jester, your eldritch blast takes the form of flung pies, sprayed seltzer water, and other such clown artforms, and leaves a clinging residue to your targets which deals damage equal to half that initially dealt to the target on their next turn. This clinging residue obscures their vision and dampens their pride, and until their next turn, where they can automatically wipe it off, they have disadvantage on perception checks, and attacks against them are made at advantage.
Slapstick
Starting at 6th level, you have learned the art of taking hard hits with nothing more than a bruised ego and some scrapes. You are resistant to bludgeoning damage. When an enemy you can see hits you with an attack, you may use your reaction to halve the damage. Additionally, as part of the clown art of slapstick, you learn to turn wild performative flailing motions into great feats of acrobatics, and can likewise use this to entertain, doubling your proficiency bonus for any Acrobatics checks, as well as Performance checks made to perform slapstick, acrobatics, and similar circus routines.
Pratfall
Starting at 10th level, when you would be reduced to 0 hp, you can use your reaction to fall prone and halve the damage taken, while also dealing half the damage of the attack to your attacker.use your slapstick feature to reduce the damage of a hit, you may fall prone. If you do, your attacker takes the same damage you take (after reduction), as your pratfall redirects some of the attack back to them. You may use this ability a number of times equal to your proficiency modifier, at which point you must take a long rest before you can use it again.
While you are prone, whether after having used this ability or having dropped prone normally (but not if an effect outside of your control has rendered you prone), you can move at your normal speed, and take the Dodge action as a bonus action on each of your turns as you performatively flail and stumble. While you are prone, you may stand up without spending any movement.
Pied Jester Spells
A few spells take on particular appearances when cast by a warlock of the Pied Jester:
Vicious Mockery
If a warlock of the Pied Jester has a pie in hand when they cast Vicious Mockery, they may elect to fling the pie at their target instead of verbally insulting them. If they do so, the pie strikes automatically, but has no further effect on its own (even if it was conjured with Conjure Pie and Seltzer).
Feather Fall
When a warlock of the Pied Jester casts this spell, it has its normal mechanical effect. However, rather than slowing the speed of the fall, the target falls at full force, and flattens slightly upon impact, but does not take any damage while the spell is active. The target may land on their feet, or on their front or back, at the caster’s option, but regardless, they immediately regain their footing, and the method of landing is purely cosmetic.
Animal Messenger
When a warlock of the Pied Jester casts this spell, rather than compelling a nearby actual animal to deliver the message, the caster creates a balloon animal, which may have any shape they desire but is still Tiny in size. If the mechanical stats of the messenger come into play, simply use the closest approximate beast.
Feign Death
When a warlock of the Pied Jester casts this spell, the target goes through a short, overly dramatic performance of dropping dead, at which point it lays spread out, with a daisy clutched between their hands on their chest. This performance takes no time worth tracking.
Leomund’s Tiny Hut
When a warlock of the Pied Jester casts this spell, rather than a small dome of monochromatic force, they conjure a miniature circus tent, with alternating stripes of any two colors of the caster’s choice.
New Spell
Conjure Pie and Seltzer
Conjuration Cantrip
Casting Time: Bonus Action
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
You create a single pie of the type of your choice in your hand or a spray of about a pint of carbonated water (which may be flavored, if you desire). The pie may be flung at a target within 20 ft as a separate ranged spell attack which deals no damage but imposes disadvantage on their next action, and persuasion checks until the pie is washed off, which takes an action. The seltzer may be sprayed at an adjacent target as part of casting, but has no effect save for extinguishing any small fires in the target’s space.
The pie may be eaten, in which case it satisfies hunger as if it were a single ration. If not thrown or eaten, the pie spoils in 24 hours. The seltzer, other than being carbonated and perhaps flavored, is normal water.