I know what triggering means now

[Calibron]

Most younger teenage sisters are horrible creatures that exist only to cause pain and draw attention to themsleves. It seems your parents are also terribly abusive without even an excuse other than small mindedness, since pure shock would have abated by now, at least my mother had the excuse of grief and stress to explain her horrible behavior. I think you really need to put some space between yourself and your family. There's a good chance that a few weeks or months will give everyone a chance to see everything more clearly and bring the beginnings of a kind of reconciliation; if not you'll at least benefit immensly from getting away from that abusive environment.

On the other it does at least seem that your family cares about, though they have an ass retarded way of showing it. It may be a good idea to really try to get a civil dialog going, get yourself and your options organized, then lay everything out on the table. Tell them. in no uncertain terms, how what they are doing is hurting you and what you want from them. I strongly suggestyou be respectful, firm, but respectful, which may be hard if you don't feel they deserve it, but it's almost certainly for the best. Honestly this will probably accomplish nothing of note in the short term, it seems to me that leaving your family is all but inevitable if you want a halfway livable environment, but doing it this way will leave lines of communication potentially open and leave everyone on a massively better footing than a negative, emotionally charged, and possibly violent falling out they may otherwise occur. It never hurts to be civil.

I speak from experience and I will pray for a good end to your current problems.

[Jacob_Orlove]

I can't afford to change my legal name, and I don't meet the government's qualifications for being legally considered female.

I only really know how things work over here in CA, but here if you can't afford to pay the filing fee for the name change paperwork, you can apply for a fee waiver and not have to pay at all, if you meet the qualifications: on public assistance OR household income below the guideline OR monthly income < monthly expenses (that last one is judge's discretion, other two are automatic). You'd still have to pay a newspaper to publish the name change announcement, but if you find a small weekly paper it might still be affordable.

But again, that's California. You'd have to check how much of that applies where you are.

And +1 to all the good advice in this thread.

[Crissa]

California you also have to have a note from a physician treating you and post your name in the local paper for 30 days.

That part is really sucky.

Generally, though, you only need a note from a medical professional - like a social worker or psychologist - that you're being treated, and then follow the basic rules for changing your name.

I don't know what state you're in, so looking it up would be hard without that info.

-Crissa

[Jacob_Orlove]

You only need the note if you're doing a petition to change name and gender, though. If she just wants a name change, that's much simpler to do.

[Username17]

In most places, a name change form can be gotten from the DMV. Last I checked, it costs $12 in the state of California. That's what I did when I dropped my middle name.

-Username17

[Crissa]

The California DMV is allowed to do use-name changes but refuses to handle any changes for transgendered people or same-sex couples.

There was a court case recently, so they're supposed to handle same-sex, but it requires a special form.

You only need the note if you're doing a petition to change name and gender, though. If she just wants a name change, that's much simpler to do.

They are allowed to say 'no' if they think the name will be confusing or for illegal activities. Which usually means they will say no if you try to change your name to a female version without the letter.

-Crissa

[ubernoob]

In most places, a name change form can be gotten from the DMV. Last I checked, it costs $12 in the state of California. That's what I did when I dropped my middle name.

-Username17

Pure curiosity: Why would you get rid of your middle name?

[Username17]

In most places, a name change form can be gotten from the DMV. Last I checked, it costs $12 in the state of California. That's what I did when I dropped my middle name.

-Username17

Pure curiosity: Why would you get rid of your middle name?

It was overly confusing. I had two middle names, the first names of both my Grandfathers: John and Luis. So I was showing up some places as Johnluis and other places as John Luis, and even Jean-Louis. In a digital world, that kind of mismatching is a super pain in the ass. I had to get a US Passport in order to demonstrate my name in order to pick up financial aid. Fucking fuck. So altogether I just have it with no middle name at all, because no one fucks that up.

-Username17

[Maxus]

In most places, a name change form can be gotten from the DMV. Last I checked, it costs $12 in the state of California. That's what I did when I dropped my middle name.

-Username17

Pure curiosity: Why would you get rid of your middle name?

It was overly confusing. I had two middle names, the first names of both my Grandfathers: John and Luis. So I was showing up some places as Johnluis and other places as John Luis, and even Jean-Louis. In a digital world, that kind of mismatching is a super pain in the ass. I had to get a US Passport in order to demonstrate my name in order to pick up financial aid. Fucking fuck. So altogether I just have it with no middle name at all, because no one fucks that up.

-Username17

I thought it might be something like that...

I know how it feels. My name is...Ah, hell, if Frank's allowed, I am.

Alex McLeod.

But it shows up on mail and in computers as McCloud or McLoud...or people say Mc Lee-Odd at me. Or McLloyd. This has caused problems.

And then I caused a problem with a standardized test because it turns out I was on file as "Alexander" and was not aware of this.

Still, not as bad as one kid my sister met in New York.

She said his name was Pepsi Dacola...

[Cielingcat]

From what I understand, in Philadelphia, it can cost hundreds of dollars to change your name. If I remember correctly, my friend had to pay about $200 or so to change his name, though I might be under or over stating that.

[ubernoob]

//

[CatharzGodfoot]

My wife and I have been discussing changing our last names to the silliest sounding combination of the two possible.

[tzor]

My mother's maiden name wasn't "made up" but selected on the spur of the moment. When my Grandfather wanted to get a job at the New Jersey docks, nepotism was strongly discouraged and his brother was already working there. Since his Lithuanian name was, to say the least, not common in New Jersey, he changed his last name so that he could get hired.

My mother's name as well was sort of selected on the spot. In those days mother's didn't attend the baptism. She wanted to call her first born daughter Jean, but the priest objected to the godparents saying that wasn't a proper female saint name so the godparents selected "Regina" instead. Then they had to tell myu grandmother about the news.

[Cielingcat]

Ok.

My parents called the doctors and told them they were worried about my safety.

The doctor called me and told me that I needed to go to them today or they were canceling my prescriptions.

I told them I could make it.

I can't get there in time.

[mean_liar]

Grab a cab and ditch it.

[Josh_Kablack]

The story is that my Great-Grandad got tired of being a Kablach for reasons unknown and changed the last letter of the family name to a K, meaning that pretty much any Kablack you meet in Pennsylvania (and nearly the whole first page of google results) are all related to me no further than about second cousin.

[Crissa]

We're ears cat. We know they're paying the bills, which makes it much tougher to pull ties...

-Crissa