Let's Play Fighting Fantasy #5: City of Thieves

angelfromanotherpin · Post by **angelfromanotherpin** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 5:58 pm

Really? Really? I turn my back for a second, and you guys actually let an elf take you into the back room to look at his 'magic candle?' That is such an amazingly thin metaphor for skeezy sex that I am shocked that it made it into the book.

Also, you have a Dragonslayer buying candles like a grandmother? Our license to be metal may soon be revoked.

I move that the elf take two of our black pearls, I'm pretty sure we only actually need one. I also move that we stab this silversmith as hard as possible in a desperately homoerotic attempt to regain sexual agency.

Dr_Noface · Post by **Dr_Noface** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 6:26 pm

Lets talk. We need to score a silver arrow.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:20 pm

(So far I'm standing with Red_Rob's vote on what the Elf stole, because it's hilarious if he stole back two of his own candles. And before we do any stabbing in this shop we need to make sure that Ben Borryman has a silver arrow on hand, so I'm going with Dr. Noface on that one. Sorry angel, I have ties to break.)

You ask Ben Borryman if he has any silver arrows for sale. He replies that he does not, but will make one for you at a cost of 10 Gold Pieces or two magic items. (We can afford his asking price, -10 Gold because we only have one magic item and it's a totally boss shield.)

You pay the silversmith and wait patiently while he makes a silver arrow for you. Finally he presents you with it and assures you that it will be completely accurate in flight. You thank him for his trouble and leave his shop. Outside you set off east once again.

You soon arrive at a junction.

Do you wish to turn north into Tower Street or continue east into Stable Street?

Dirk Von Facestabber III
SKILL: 12/12
STAMINA: 21/24
LUCK: 12/12
Equipment: Broadsword, Leather Armor, Magnificent Shield (+1 Attack)
Potions: None
Provisions: 10 meals
Keys: None
Misc: Throwing Knife, Climbing Rope, Butcher's Meat Hook, Iron Spike, Lantern, Clove of Garlic, Old Knucklebones, Candles (3)
Quest Items: Silver Arrow, Black Pearls (6)
Gold Pieces: 49

Dr_Noface · Post by **Dr_Noface** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 8:34 pm

Hopefully there's a tower we can rob on Tower Street.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 10:19 pm

(I'm going to wait for a few more votes; my favorite part of this is seeing everyone's reasoning for choosing what they do.)

Korgan0 · Post by **Korgan0** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 10:23 pm

They might have some towering deals.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 10:28 pm

(That was awful; just for that I'm declaring my emergency powers as owner of the book to go to Stable Street.)

As you walk warily down the narrow cobbled street, you are suddenly confronted by a little old man who dashes out of one of the houses. He pulls a dirty bottle out of a canvas bag. As he speaks, you can't help staring at the large wart on his nose, with its tuft of hair. He smiles and asks if you would like to pay 2 Gold Pieces for a drink of his wonderful healing potion.

Do you wish to pay for a drink or rather keep going east?

(Don't worry, I won't do that again.)

angelfromanotherpin · Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:12 pm

I suspect if the healing potion was that wonderful, this guy wouldn't have a giant wart. Also, this is kind of date rapey... again. So I vote that we buck the trend and have Dirk *not* put the thing in his mouth.

Red_Rob · Post by **Red_Rob** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:25 pm

So this little old man just waits around for random passersby so he can offer them a swig of his 'healing potion'? That he happens to keep in a dirty bottle in his bag? I bet if we close our eyes we can suck some 'strength potion' out of a hose he keeps in his pocket, too.

I'm rather disappointed there isn't an option to facestab this creepy old fuck. We'd probably be doing the neighbourhood a favour! In lieu of that, I say Dirk does not want to pay for the privilege of being date-raped. Onwards to the east. Always into the east....

Dr_Noface · Post by **Dr_Noface** » Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:59 pm

East!

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:23 am

In the middle of the street you see a large manhole cover.

Do you wish to lift the manhole cover to see where it leads or keep heading east?

(Now this is where we decide whether or not we're metal.)

Dr_Noface · Post by **Dr_Noface** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:52 am

Smash open the manhole cover and dive in. Hopefully we'll get bitten by a rat which will promptly turn into a wereDirk.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:44 am

Manhole. We are now hunting alligators to wrestle.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 1:51 am

There is an iron ladder secured to the rim of a hole, descending into a tunnel below. It is dark, and a very unpleasant smell rises up from below.

Do you wish to climb down the ladder or replace the manhole cover and continue east?

(Why would we not want to go down? We're Dirk von Facestabber III. So given that, and also that we've established that we want to go down into the sewer, I'm assuming we go down into the sewer. Forgive me if I'm wrong.)

At the bottom of the ladder you realize, much to your disgust, that you are standing in a sewer. There are torches along the tunnel wall, giving a very dim light, and droplets of water make eerie sounds as they fall into the sewage water.

(ZOMG NO WAI MANHOLES LEAD TO SEWERS)

Do you wish to walk north along the tunnel or walk south?

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 2:28 am

I wish modern vidyagame RPGs had writing this good

Endovior · Post by **Endovior** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 3:02 am

Wow, a choice of directions with absolutely no reason to pick one over the other. And one doubtless leads to horrible death. How clever. Let's go north.

Dr_Noface · Post by **Dr_Noface** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 3:40 am

The northern sewerlands are surely stalked by things deserving of a fatal swording.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 3:51 am

Ahead you hear the sound of squealing and frantic splashing. Long shadows are cast by moving objects coming towards you. Then you see the sleek, glistening shapes of three GIANT RATS only a few meters away from you. You draw your sword and fight each of the three Rats in turn.

First RAT SKILL 4 STAMINA 4
Second RAT SKILL 5 STAMINA 4
Third RAT SKILL 5 STAMINA 5

Combat Log:

Rat A 14, Dirk 24. Rat A is at 2.
Rat A 13, Dirk 19. Rat A is dead.
Rat B 15, Dirk 19. Rat B is at 2.
Rat B 13, Dirk 22. Rat B is dead.
Rat C 12, Dirk 20. Rat C is at 3.
Rat C 13, Dirk 24. Rat C is at 1.
Rat C 17, Dirk 21. Rat C is dead.

While you were fighting the Giant Rats, you thought you saw someone or something skulking in the shadows ahead.

Do you wish to continue further north along the tunnel or rather turn around and walk back to the entrance hole?

(Man, the ROUS are really letting themselves go. Are we gonna let some sewer dwellers go unstabbed?)

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:01 am

Of course not, there may be gold in that skulking fuck's poskets.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:49 am

With your sword still dripping with the blood of the Rats you walk further along the tunnel. The ledge you are walking along is narrow and slippery, and you have to tread carefully so as to not fall into the slow-flowing sewage channel. The tunnel gradually bends round to the right and as you follow it round, the silence is suddenly shattered by the sound of running feet and a wailing scream. Coming straight at you, wild-eyed, with flailing arms and contorted face, uttering demon sorcery, is a white-haired old woman dressed in rags. She is a Hag. Do you possess a Potion of Mind Control? (No.)

The HAG is conjuring a spell which instills terrible fear in you. Your mind is full of illusions and you think you are being buried alive with a crowd of skeletal faces looking on gleefully. You swing your sword around blindly trying to hack at the faces laughing at you. Test your Luck. (6, Lucky.) A swipe from your sword cuts into the Hag.

The Hag screams as your sword cuts deep into her arm. Her concentration is lost and the spell is broken. Your mind clears and you are able to face her with your senses acute again. From out of her clothing the Hag pulls out a dagger with a long shimmering blade. You are eager to fight her.

HAG SKILL 7 STAMINA 7

Combat Log:

Hag 17, Dirk 21. Hag is at 5.
Hag 16, Dirk 22. Hag is at 3.
Hag 11, Dirk 20. Hag is at 1.
Hag 13, Dirk 21. The Hag is dead.

You bend over the motionless body of the dead Hag and you cut off a tuft of her hair with your sword. You put the hair safely in your backpack and walk back down the tunnel to the entrance hole.

Back at the entrance hole you may either climb the ladder to the street in order to continue east or, if you have not done so already, you may walk south along the sewer.

Dirk Von Facestabber III
SKILL: 12/12
STAMINA: 21/24
LUCK: 11/12
Equipment: Broadsword, Leather Armor, Magnificent Shield (+1 Attack)
Potions: None
Provisions: 10 meals
Keys: None
Misc: Throwing Knife, Climbing Rope, Butcher's Meat Hook, Iron Spike, Lantern, Clove of Garlic, Old Knucklebones, Candles (3)
Quest Items: Silver Arrow, Hag's Hair, Black Pearls (6)
Gold Pieces: 49

(EDIT: Noted the Silver Arrow on the list of Quest Items, forgot to do that earlier.)

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:55 am

South! Everyone knows sewers are full of excrement excitement!

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:55 am

Since walking South apparently is a thing that doesn't automagically kill you, we should keep walking south. There are plenty of faces to be stabbed, after all.

-Username17

Dr_Noface · Post by **Dr_Noface** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:05 am

Gotta love these quest items.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:10 am

You can hear some scratching sounds in the tunnel ahead. Then you see a long shadow appear on the curved brick wall. In the dim light you can just make out the large shape of something black and shiny moving towards you. The scratching becomes louder and you also hear clicking sounds. The monster is only a couple of meters ahead of you when you recognize it as a Giant Centipede. Do you possess an insect bracelet? (No.)

You will have to swing your sword with all your might to pierce the armor-like shell of this monster.

GIANT CENTIPEDE SKILL 10 STAMINA 5

Combat Log:

Centipede 20, Dirk 20. Tie.
Centipede 20, Dirk 17. Dirk is at 19. (This is the first time we've been wounded in combat.)
Centipede 19, Dirk 19. Another tie.
Centipede 15, Dirk 19. Centipede is at 3.
Centipede 13, Dirk 24. Centipede is at 1.
Centipede 19, Dirk 17. Dirk is at 17.
Centipede 20, Dirk 15. Dirk is at 15.
Centipede 13, Dirk 20. The Centipede is dead.

(Shit, that thing actually fucked us up pretty bad. It rolled really well and we rolled really poorly. Should we pop a couple of Meals to put us back at/near full? Each restores 4 STAMINA.)

You manage to squeeze yourself between the dead Centipede and the roof of the tunnel. You walk further down the tunnel and see that it ends at an iron grill through which the sewage water runs.

Do you wish to try to remove the grill or walk back to the entrance hole?

Dirk Von Facestabber III
SKILL: 12/12
STAMINA: 15/24
LUCK: 11/12
Equipment: Broadsword, Leather Armor, Magnificent Shield (+1 Attack)
Potions: None
Provisions: 10 meals
Keys: None
Misc: Throwing Knife, Climbing Rope, Butcher's Meat Hook, Iron Spike, Lantern, Clove of Garlic, Old Knucklebones, Candles (3)
Quest Items: Silver Arrow, Hag's Hair, Black Pearls (6)
Gold Pieces: 49

(I'm assuming we eat two Meals for 8 STAMINA restored, putting us back at 23, unless people think we should do otherwise.)

(EDIT: Again, Silver Arrow.)

Dr_Noface · Post by **Dr_Noface** » Mon Feb 25, 2013 5:23 am

Remove the grill, there might be a golden buttnugget lodged inside.

The Gaming Den

Let's Play Fighting Fantasy #5: City of Thieves

What FF should we Let's Play next?