More Threads that make us Laugh, Cry, or Both

[Draco_Argentum]

This shitty forum software allows tags to work across posts because it is shit. So you get weird shit happening.

[Bigode]

Way better than Gleemax, but I must assume I'm not sure whether this actually deserved saying.

[Prak]

http://forums.gleemax.com/showthread.ph ... br]someone wants to ride a rocket into a dragon's ass swinging away with his axe... and I was the one who could think of how to work it out...

[Voss]

Your link seems not to work.

[Koumei]

Does the rocket add a bonus to the Escape Artist roll to enter it?

Or are they not actually referring to riding a rocket *into* the dragon's ass, but merely want to collide with it from behind?

[Prak]

1200891774[/unixtime]]Your link seems not to work.

oops... it's in the mature forums. forgot you guys wouldn't be able to see it without wizards accounts...

So one of my players has ...what is best described as a rocket, and he intends to ride said rocket into a Dragon's ****, axe swinging wildly, and fly out its neck covered in gore, carrying the dragon's heart. As the DM, I now have to figure out the AC of the dragon's ass and how much damage an axe-swinging dwarf can deal to a dragon's internal organs.

Ideas?

well... the ...hole... is going to be several size categories smaller than the dragon itself, likely 3, or so. The dwarf's going to have to make a strength heck to stay on the rocket as it travels through this small apperture... unless it's big enough for, say, a large size object... I think this is the first time I can recommend the Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge for a game and not for sex... it has rules for ...oriface capacity... The insides are going to lack all natural armour, though, as Napolean said, probably a pretty good DR, maybe even the same as the outside of the body. The rocket isn't going to move through the dragon anywhere near as fast as the player probably thinks, lets say one round per age category, and ofcourse he gets his full attacks each round... though in certain areas... the dragon gets a free unarmed attack against the intruding dwarf in the first round... which I'd say deals lethal damage. Next he's in the lower gastrointestinal track and should probably save versus Dragon Bile(Poison, DMG). Next round the dwarf reaches the stomach and begins taking damage as normal for being swallowed. Next round he can probably start attacking the heart, though a particularly large dragon might get a couple rounds before this happens. The dwarf can roll reflex save to grab the heart, then a strength check to hold on and a strength check to pull it out, this will, in all likelyhood, kill the dragon. If the dwarf fails to pull out the heart, he goes through another round of a free natural attack and a free swallow whole attempt from the dragon, though the dragon should also make a fortitude save against nausea, possibly even a save against Dragon Bile. After that, the dwarf and his rocket explode out the mouth covered in gore and $#!%.


oh... and the dwarf should probably get his alignment changed to evil if it isn't already as he is attempting rape.

really the important posts...

[Voss]

I think that wins the 'Saddest Thing I've Ever Read' Award for Sheer Patheticness. And possibly increments the 'Reasons Humanity should be Annihilated' counter.


I didn't even know the Game Lizards had a 'mature' forum. The concept alone is worth a chuckle or two.

[Crissa]

Why is it you have to log in to see the most immature posts?

-Crissa

[Draco_Argentum]

1200904922[/unixtime]]And possibly increments the 'Reasons Humanity should be Annihilated' counter.

Definitely once, possibly twice.

[Prak]

1200908720[/unixtime]]Why is it you have to log in to see the most immature posts?

-Crissa

Because the Mature board was originally formed as an area to discuss the "Mature" books, BoVD and BoED, and if you'll recall, they wanted only people 18+ to read those books, and having an account is the only way they can track your (supposed) age, so to make sure you're 18, they have to be able to look at your profile to see when you were born. You can withhold your DoB at registration if you wish, but then you can't see the Mature Boards, which really do occasionally have intelligent mature discussions, like several regarding good and evil, and others regarding the deformity feats. I actually generally consider only the mature board worth looking at, because it's fairly difficult to find interesting threads in other forums. But, as I implied, it is off course entirely possible for kids to get into the mature boards.

There's also the /b/ effect and the "Internet Dickwad theory"

[JonSetanta]

I'll support that theory.

[Cielingcat]

Haven't they since banned discussion of those books, on the grounds that they have icky naked people?

[Leress]

1200994301[/unixtime]]Haven't they since banned discussion of those books, on the grounds that they have icky naked people?

Well, if they did then it would making having those very boards pretty much useless. (More worthless then they are now)

Also it seems like your Warlock has resurfaced with a whole new stream of people.

[MrWaeseL]

There's also the /b/ effect and the "Internet Dickwad theory"

I'm not a fan of penny arcade but that is a total ripoff of one of their comics, and that's pretty low of John Gabriel.

[Desdan_Mervolam]

Actually, that image is stolen from PA's T-Shirt store. "John Gabriel" is long for Gabe, which is the guy who does the art (Mike Krahulik, I believe, is his real name)

[Koumei]

1200994301[/unixtime]]Haven't they since banned discussion of those books, on the grounds that they have icky naked people?

Not exactly. You simply can't link to any pictures with nudity, including those from said books, or, you know, hosted on their goddamn servers where everyone can see them.

[Prak]

1201004903[/unixtime]]

1200994301[/unixtime]]Haven't they since banned discussion of those books, on the grounds that they have icky naked people?

Not exactly. You simply can't link to any pictures with nudity, including those from said books, or, you know, hosted on their goddamn servers where everyone can see them.

Yeah... I tried to point this out but it worked about as well as talking logic to a duck... actually, I'm pretty sure the duck would have figured out the problem...

[Captain_Bleach]

1201017315[/unixtime]]

1201004903[/unixtime]]

1200994301[/unixtime]]Haven't they since banned discussion of those books, on the grounds that they have icky naked people?

Not exactly. You simply can't link to any pictures with nudity, including those from said books, or, you know, hosted on their goddamn servers where everyone can see them.

Yeah... I tried to point this out but it worked about as well as talking logic to a duck... actually, I'm pretty sure the duck would have figured out the problem...

But only if you cast "Speak with Animals."

[tzor]

1201033705[/unixtime]]But only if you cast "Speak with Animals."

You don't even need that. Mind you it's hard to understand the duck when all he says is "Aflac!" But he's a pretty smart duck. After all he pays bills, and stuff like that.

[NoDot]

Generic WotC PrC

[NineInchNall]

CeilingCat, you'll be amused to know that your warlock thread is still goin': http://forums.gleemax.com/showpost.php? ... ][br]*sigh*

Just makes me want to say, "Then you and your players couldn't outwit a moldy loaf of retarded bread."

[Koumei]

If I could be fucked logging into Gleemax, I *would* say that.

The Generic WOTC PrC was worth a chuckle, but nothing more. Besides, the examples for level 6 overpowered ability were funnier, because it shows his lack of understanding regarding game balance: OH NOES, FAST HEALING THREE AT LEVEL 11+!

[K]

I have a real problem detecting online sarcasm. Is there any overpowered ability in the Generic WotC PrC? Seriously.....immunity to death effects?

I have never seen a death effect work on a PC, in all my days of DnD. PCs either have good saves, cast a simple spell like Death Ward, or have some other simple defense. Immunity to Death effects is a flavor ability.

[Username17]

The only powerful or indeed meaningful thing on that whole list was the +2 to a random stat you got at first level. That class was just a wizard dip - which I suppose makes it more generically WotC than anything else they could have done.

-Username17

[Koumei]

God point on the death effects. I actually wonder if DMs instinctively pull punches with those, as a sort of "Woah, we could have been instantly killed, there!" while the DM secretly thinks "Yeah, if I had used the actual save DC, you would have."