Annoying Game Questions You Want Answered

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:08 am

OgreBattle wrote:Being able to capture the god of harvests so all crops whither, or trap the sun in a cave so the sun is no longer in the sky is a feature in some settings.

an "undocumented feature"?

OgreBattle · Post by **OgreBattle** » Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:28 am

Stahlseele wrote:
OgreBattle wrote:Being able to capture the god of harvests so all crops whither, or trap the sun in a cave so the sun is no longer in the sky is a feature in some settings.
an "undocumented feature"?

Yeah I actually haven't seen this done in play, I'm sure somebody's tried to write it into d20 in a confusing overly worded unclear manner.

Amaterasu moping in a cave and Fenris swallowing the moon stories don't focus on what the humans are up to (if they even exist yet) either. Nuwa patching up the crack in the sky drowning the world do feature humans struggling to survive though.

I guess it's like kingdom management and weather effects but on a global scale

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:37 am

It's basically an extinction level event.
Building something like that into your rules is a stupid thing to do if you are not world hopping and can go somewhere else where your own stupidity can not affect you . .

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:28 pm

Runequest has a method for it, but that method is basically magical tea party

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:36 pm

Stahlseele wrote:It's basically an extinction level event.
Building something like that into your rules is a stupid thing to do if you are not world hopping and can go somewhere else where your own stupidity can not affect you . .

It depends on how big your gods are.

Killing the God of a river to make it dry up would likely destroy the towns that are built on that river, and the farms irrigated by it, and devastate the area, but it's not an extinction level event.

Killing the God of Rivers to make every river on the planet dry up is a different matter.

virgil · Post by **virgil** » Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:12 pm

I want to use the proverb "Homines quod volunt credunt" in Planescape - but I don't think "homines" is the right term to use when humans aren't the default race. Is there a good Latin equivalent to "non-human person?"

angelfromanotherpin · Post by **angelfromanotherpin** » Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:35 pm

I don't think so. You might use 'vulgares,' which is a more general term meaning 'folk.'

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Feb 22, 2018 2:32 pm

Imagining anyone particularly cared about 5Ed for a moment, is there a way for a non-Paladin to swindle Paladin spells? As in, specifically choosing one or more, not "this spell appears on both X and Y lists"?

I ask only because there's apparently a Paladin spell added in one of the books that allows them to perform marriages. Presumably they cast the spell and then two people are married. And if some complete fuckwit who didn't get spells with-held by Lawful gods for inappropriate use could go around casting that basically at random, that would be fantastic.

Admittedly it might be some kind of hour-long ritual that specifies the two people need to be consenting to the marriage and all, and not just "this spell lets you perform wedding ceremonies and marry people to each other". Which would be a shame. Wise, but also a shame.

tenngu · Post by **tenngu** » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:13 pm

Off the top of my head, the bard in 5e has a subclass with one of the features being "at this level you can swipe 2 spells from any class" so depending on the spell level you might be able to get it that way. I find it really funny the two options for minister is either a holy man or an Elvis impersonator, just like real life.

erik · Post by **erik** » Thu Feb 22, 2018 6:28 pm

Does 5e have a way to quicken spell? We need Elvis drive thru weddings clearly. Any bard worth their strings should be able to get an audience to sing along and that’s how you get your vows on. Chain wedding might be good too if there’s metamagic.

Grek · Post by **Grek** » Thu Feb 22, 2018 7:53 pm

The spell in question is a 1st level ritual available to clerics and paladins, so the easiest way to get it as a non-Paladin is to simply play a Cleric of some sort. If that is unsatisfactory, you can play a Tome Pact Warlock, who gets to poach ritual spells off of any list starting at level two, or a Lore College Bard, who gets to poach any two spells of any list starting at level six, or (if you're allowed to play something out of UA), a Favoured Soul Sorcerer, who gets to learn poach spells off the Cleric list. If none of those satisfy, there remains the Magic Initiate feat, which gives you two cantrips and a single 1st level spell off of the bard, cleric, druid, sorcerer, warlock of wizard lists.

Unfortunately, none of that lets you marry unwilling people, and the actual effects of the spell are shitty and dumb.

Marriage: You touch adult humanoids willing to be bonded together in marriage. For the next 24 hours, each target gains a +2 bonus to AC and saving throws while they are within 30 feet of each other. A creature can benefit from this ceremony just once.

5E Quickened Spell turns a spell with an action of "1 action" to a spell with an action of "1 bonus action" and is entirely useless for hour long rituals.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Thu Feb 22, 2018 8:08 pm

Grek wrote: Unfortunately, none of that lets you marry unwilling people, and the actual effects of the spell are shitty and dumb.

Marriage: You touch adult humanoids willing to be bonded together in marriage. For the next 24 hours, each target gains a +2 bonus to AC and saving throws while they are within 30 feet of each other. A creature can benefit from this ceremony just once.

What the fuck kind of weddings are people having where they want +2 AC!? Is this some sort of protection against Prima Nocta?

Cervantes · Post by **Cervantes** » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:03 pm

Divine Soul Sorcerers are no longer UA because they got published in XGE, but they don't have ritual casting. But who cares, Ceremony: Wedding lasts a week.

The spell got changed a bit in XGE as well:
Wedding. You touch adult humanoids willing to be bonded together in marriage. For the next 7 days, each target gains a +2 bonus to AC while they are within 30 feet of each other. A creature can benefit from this rite again only if widowed.

(It takes an hour to cast o well)

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:35 pm

RobbyPants wrote:
Grek wrote: Unfortunately, none of that lets you marry unwilling people, and the actual effects of the spell are shitty and dumb.

Marriage: You touch adult humanoids willing to be bonded together in marriage. For the next 24 hours, each target gains a +2 bonus to AC and saving throws while they are within 30 feet of each other. A creature can benefit from this ceremony just once.
What the fuck kind of weddings are people having where they want +2 AC!? Is this some sort of protection against Prima Nocta?

I think it's because you'll fight harder to protect your spouse, and so you cover each other, giving each other an AC bonus while you're close together.

An AC bonus that only lasts a week, because at that point you'll realize that getting married was stupid, you hate your spouse, and the sex wasn't all that good.

And then you kill them so that you can marry someone else and get the AC bonus again.

It's actually an incredibly cynical spell.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu Feb 22, 2018 10:15 pm

5e Paladins are no longer required to be LG. You can totally play a CE paladin and run around marrying people. Possibly after getting them drunk to make them willing.

deaddmwalking · Post by **deaddmwalking** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 1:51 pm

If it were entirely cynical, they would have given it the [evil] tag.

The +2 AC seems like a good way to start arguments.

"WRONG HOLE!"
"Sorry, it's that +2 AC that made me miss!"

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 2:49 pm

Grek wrote:so the easiest way to get it as a non-Paladin is to simply play a Cleric of some sort.

Between that and the other four, that's loads. And I forgot you can just jolly well be a Paladin of Lolth or whatever. Mostly my 5E information comes in the form of what I can't block out at work from an over-talkative co-worker. And he likes Human Paladins of Torm a lot and so all I got from it was "There's a Paladin spell for performing weddings and making holy water". If he'd just said Cleric/Paladin it'd be much simpler.

Unfortunately, none of that lets you marry unwilling people, and the actual effects of the spell are shitty and dumb.

Yeah I see the "humanoids willing" part and that's a shame. It's like they knew straight away what stupid bell-ends would go about doing (as evidenced by my desire to do precisely that, marrying people to furniture or strangers or whatever) and put a stop to it.

And on the one hand, it's to prevent a stupid, disruptive sort of fun. On the other hand, preventing any kind of fun basically seems to be their deal.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 8:41 pm

What amuses me is that your spouse specifically has to die for you to be able to benefit from it again. No divorce, not even annulment, just widows. I mean, this technically doesn't prevent you from running around, getting people drunk enough to consent to marriage, casting the spell, and getting +2 AC for a week, then killing them.

Or, rather, you have to be within 30 ft of them to get the bonus, so you just drag them around as you adventure, and let them die after a week.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 9:34 pm

Prak wrote:What amuses me is that your spouse specifically has to die for you to be able to benefit from it again. No divorce, not even annulment, just widows. I mean, this technically doesn't prevent you from running around, getting people drunk enough to consent to marriage, casting the spell, and getting +2 AC for a week, then killing them.

Or, rather, you have to be within 30 ft of them to get the bonus, so you just drag them around as you adventure, and let them die after a week.

Just chop off their limbs, put straps on them, and wear them as backpacks.

Stahlseele · Post by **Stahlseele** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:16 pm

Shrink them.
Put them into Bag of Holding.

erik · Post by **erik** » Fri Feb 23, 2018 10:30 pm

Stahlseele wrote:Shrink them.
Put them into Bag of Holding.

Items in a bag of holding aren’t within 30’ unless you leave your hand inside or something it is an entire dimension away. Anyway bags of holding are heavy. Handy haversacks are better.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat Feb 24, 2018 3:36 am

Can you Dispel the effects of rituals? Hell, what happens if you wander into an Anti-Magic Field after becoming married-by-spell?

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Sat Feb 24, 2018 4:00 am

Koumei wrote:Can you Dispel the effects of rituals? Hell, what happens if you wander into an Anti-Magic Field after becoming married-by-spell?

Presumably, it would count as a divorce and your church would excommunicate you.

Then you'd have to start your own church with blackjack and hookers and divorces and tea and cake.

"Tea and cake or death. "

"I'll take the tea and cake."

And then you convince your DM to let you rewrite the ritual to allow remarriage after divorce, because you just started your own protestant church.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Sat Feb 24, 2018 4:39 am

erik wrote:
Stahlseele wrote:Shrink them.
Put them into Bag of Holding.
Items in a bag of holding aren’t within 30’ unless you leave your hand inside or something it is an entire dimension away. Anyway bags of holding are heavy. Handy haversacks are better.

"Yes, hello, I am Girshnak, the Destroyer, and this is my pocket wife, she gives me +2 AC!"

Chamomile · Post by **Chamomile** » Sat Feb 24, 2018 4:44 am

hyzmarca wrote:
Koumei wrote:Can you Dispel the effects of rituals? Hell, what happens if you wander into an Anti-Magic Field after becoming married-by-spell?
Presumably, it would count as a divorce and your church would excommunicate you.

Then you'd have to start your own church with blackjack and hookers and divorces and tea and cake.

"Tea and cake or death. "

"I'll take the tea and cake."

And then you convince your DM to let you rewrite the ritual to allow remarriage after divorce, because you just started your own protestant church.

I'd play this campaign.