Zero Buzz on 5E...Is It Dead Out The Gate?

[ishy]

Last one, I'm done.

In this kind of activity, the GM thinks nothing of putting unbeatable foes and insurmountable obstacles before the PCs at every turn.

He's not exaggerating. He means it's OK to have an insurmountable obstacle to the front, and unbeatable foe to the left, so long as you can go right and there's a clue somewhere for the players so they can do that. It's the difference between a DM intending to beat the PCs, and one giving the players a chance to fail.

In addition to being the architect of the world in which the PCs’ adventures take place, the game master is also the representative of all the opposing creatures, forces, and phenomena that strive to keep the PCs from achieving their desired ends. This opposition must be personified in such a way as to present the maximum challenge for PCs and their players while not being so overwhelmingly powerful that any PC who dares to resist or combat the opposition is smeared flat when he makes his first move. This approach is valid and important even in the first stages of campaign creation; for instance, a GM who designs a world where the environment itself is fraught with naturally existing perils is asking for trouble. The point is to challenge the PCs, not kill them outright.
[ . . . ]
The powers given to opponent and neutral beings delineate the expected power and performance of the players’ personas in the role-playing-game campaign. Beginning player characters will be forced to contend with relatively weak monsters. Then, as the players’ expertise increases and their player characters become more powerful, the GM will gradually stiffen the opposition by adding more powerful opponents. The opponent is surely the measure of the range of PC power within the game system.

[Ferret]

This month's Unearthed Arcana is a comparative breath of fresh air.

Giving rules options for Minotaurs (who get a 1d10 weapon in their horns which they can bonus-attack Shove with at level 1, constant advantage in all Shove actions, plus a charge attack), a Duelist Rogue (who gets to sneak attack anybody who is NOT adjacent to his allies, in an attempt to encourage 1 on 1 duels), and a Storm archetype sorcerer. I'll come back to the sorcerer in a minute.

This article also revealed the existence of "class ribbons," features given to a class solely for flavor and which are not evaluated by the designers when considering combat performance or class balance. They say, for example, Thieves Cant is a ribbon. It might give an occasional out-of-combat advantage, but when considered as a whole it's a footnote at best that might come up once or twice in a campaign.

Then they go on to elaborate that the Storm Guide feature of the Storm Sorcerer is intended to be such a ribbon.

" Storm Guide
At 6th level, you gain the ability to subtly control the weather around you.
If it is raining, you can use an action to cause the rain to stop falling in a 20‐foot radius centered on you. You can end this effect as a bonus action.
If it is windy, you can use a bonus action each round to choose the direction that the wind blows in a 100‐foot radius around you. The wind blows in that direction until the end of your next turn. You have no ability to alter the speed of the wind."

Now, I think about all the cloud / mist / fog spells in the game. And then I look at the storm sorcerer's level 1 ability:

"Tempestuous Magic
At 1st level, you are attuned to elemental air magic. Whenever you cast a spell other than a cantrip during your turn, whirling gusts of elemental air surround you. You can use a bonus action to fly 10 feet without provoking opportunity attacks."

So yes, every round you cast a non-cantrip spell, I think there's a pretty strong argument to be made that you can take a bonus action and drastically affect any cloud/fog effects nearby.

Anyway, if you want to take a gander yourself, here's a direct link to the PDF

http://media.wizards.com/2015/downloads ... rne_v3.pdf

[Grek]

Sure, as a DM I'd allow that. But who the fuck cares? Gust is a cantrip this edition and lets you do it every round forever if you wanted.

[tussock]

So, Minotaurs are Sea-Nazis, and you can play one. You could play Stormborn one who carries the Heart of the Storm and the Storm's Fury and I'm sure there's no unfortunate things there at all for anyone who is a member of Stormfront to fap over.

It's cool though that the wet Fighter has to give up armour to be allowed to swim and climb, which he could do anyway, while the wet Sorcerer gets to fly for free all the time while also being a Sorcerer.

Building trains with Panache seems, uh, can't everyone else just shoot them to death? Shouldn't be that hard to block them charging and even if they did you get full sneak attacks and keep training. I guess that's the point? Keeps them away from the party skeletons too.

[RelentlessImp]

I am an unabashed Krynn fanboy and I am fucking insulted by the treatment of the Krynn Minotaur. Not for the reasons you might expect, though.

First off, Minotaurs in Krynn have always had a pretty interesting conceptual space in Krynn. They don't have an origin story that involve bestiality, but more than that they're pretty much a sea-going staple. Minotaurs in Krynn = Sailors. Pirates and smugglers, too. Basically, Krynnish Minotaurs are Klingons without the Birds of Prey, thus the "lawful" bullshit that's tagged onto them that WotC (and TSR to be fair) never even fucking understood what they were trying to fucking say.

Secondly, Krynn is a pretty goddamned reviled setting. Tagging them as Minotaur (Krynn) means they're not going to see play among most people. Why couldn't this just become the base Minotaur anyways? The stats aren't good in the least, but it would have been a great way to bridge the divide between "pretty" PC races and "ugly" NPC races by just saying "Here's a Minotaur, this is a PC race, look, no level adjustment or racial hitdie, we'll be doing this in the future with other races".

Minotaur's a weird one to fucking pick to do that with, but okay. Hickman and Weis are pretty fucking awful people but they're helping to spearhead 5e by being included and being neckbeards with a neckbeard following so there's some assured sales just by putting them into 5e. I can see why they fucking do it, and why they draw attention to Krynn because Dragonlance authors are involved, but jesus fucking christ you could have taken off the Krynn tag and just introduced it as a basic race. You fucking morons.

Just. Fuck.

EDIT: Also what the fuck with labyrinthine recall. Krynn Minotaurs have nothing to do with mazes.

[Chamomile]

Hickman and Weis are pretty fucking awful people

What'd they do?

[Ferret]

It's also inconsistent with their previous UA racial entries - the Changeling, Shifter, and Warforged are listed as just that, not Changeling(Eberron) etc.

The format of this UA looks much more polished, however. I wonder if they're wrapping more editorial control and layout around these now, instead of Mearls banging it out on his lunch break and handing it over to be posted.

[RelentlessImp]

Hickman and Weis are pretty fucking awful people

What'd they do?

They inflicted Gully Dwarves and Kender on D&D. Do you need any further examples, really? Tinker Gnomes are almost forgivable, though. If it wasn't all a giant joke.

[Leress]

Hickman and Weis are pretty fucking awful people

What'd they do?

They inflicted Gully Dwarves and Kender on D&D. Do you need any further examples, really? Tinker Gnomes are almost forgivable, though. If it wasn't all a giant joke.

[RelentlessImp]

So yeah, Dragonlance is pretty reviled by people because of various things, not least of which are Kender and Gully Dwarves and Mount Nevermind. Tacking the (Krynn) tag on the Minotaur is going to ensure it never sees any fucking play. Making them Ironborn instead of Klingon is another bad idea. It's just... bad implementation on several levels, and STILL fucks up by including the stuff attributed to Pasiphae's child despite that not being even close to how Dragonlance treats its minotaurs.

[erik]

Obligatory Kender img:

[Eikre]

I always liked the little taut piggie faces the illustrator for that manual chose for the Kender.

Does anyone else suspect that Kender are just the patronizing reflection of their creators' self-congratulatory perspective on people with developmental disabilities? With all that adulation about how they're such precious gifts from god, emissaries of beauty and simple happiness etc etc, and how only evil pricks with wrong opinions would ever regard them as unattractive or inconvenient?

[Stubbazubba]

Does anyone else suspect that Kender are just the patronizing reflection of their creators' self-congratulatory perspective on people with developmental disabilities? With all that adulation about how they're such precious gifts from god, emissaries of beauty and simple happiness etc etc, and how only evil pricks with wrong opinions would ever regard them as unattractive or inconvenient?

I think it goes back to noblesse oblige more than developmental disabilities in particular, but that's a similar theme that goes back at least to Tolkien, that the simple, innocent people are good and sacred because real-world Christianity says so, so everyone who is competent is only good if they use that competence to defend/protect the innocent incompetent*. The kender are just retreading ground that hobbits already covered, but do so more explicitly because they are awful, awful beings who otherwise could have no place in any semblance of a functioning society.


*Note that that conclusion is perfectly fine, but there are other ways to arrive at it than simply imbuing people lower than you on the totem pole with a patronizing glow of spirituality based on their quaintness and inability.

[TheFlatline]

Oh fuck kender.

The only people I've ever met who like kender as a concept usually are annoying as fuck in real life and think that because someone made up kender as an idea the whole "I steal everything you're not constantly holding onto but it's not stealing because teehee" that they get to do that in real life. And every fucking fan of kenders seem to be a fucking thief in real life.

True story: I moved on from AD&D to 3rd edition and left behind a large gaming group specifically because one of the fucktards in the group decided she wanted to be a real life kender. If you weren't literally sitting on your stuff or constantly paying attention to it she'd be rooting through your shit looking for something cool to steal.

It was either leave when I caught that shit happening or punch her in the face.

[Starmaker]

Tinker Gnomes are almost forgivable, though. If it wasn't all a giant joke.

Tinker Gnomes were written by Jeff Grubb.

[Dogbert]

Kenders do serve a purpose... a fuck this shit detector.

Any table where "kender" is a choice for character (or worse, with an active kender) is a table where:

a) At least one player is a prick.
b) The GM is either a pushover or an idiot neckbeard OSR believer of "organic games."

Both are top-tier red flags to steer clear of that table.

[Wiseman]

I wonder if I should try a rewrite of the kender? I've wanted to use them in my games, but the way they're written makes them sound like the worst kind of thing to place into a game. Some of the basic concepts (love of exploration and interaction) are great for a character, just exaggerated so bad that it becomes annoying and disruptive.

On another note, another obligatory quote from Races of Ansalon telling players not to play kender as written.

Kender as Characters
The best way to play a kender character is to rein in some
of the more overbearing kender personality traits. Many
DMs have banned kender characters from their games,
because most players feel in order to successfully play a
kender they must be foolish and disruptive to the game.
Be friendly without talking endlessly, be fearless but not
foolhardy, be curious but smart. If you are a true kender,
don’t always attempt to steal valuable items. Keep in mind
that to a kender a shiny river stone is just as enticing as a
diamond.
Play against stereotype—the kender stereotype is so
well defined and so overplayed that it has garnered a bad
reputation. Not all kender are like Tasslehoff Burrfoot.
Nightshade Pricklypear is an excellent example of a kender
from the novels who is not good at handling and instead
has the interesting ability to communicate with the dead.
Try something different and look for a unique niche for
your kender character.

[...You Lost Me]

At that point, how is it any different from halflings / hobbits?

[Shady314]

At that point, how is it any different from halflings / hobbits?

Pig faces. Apparently.

[OgreBattle]

What compels anyone to play as a halfling other than game mechanics? I can understand the appeal of dwarves as caricatures of squat miners and grumpy grandpas but the halfling... I'd rather have the small sneak species be kobolds or goblins.

[Username17]

What compels anyone to play as a halfling other than game mechanics? I can understand the appeal of dwarves as caricatures of squat miners and grumpy grandpas but the halfling... I'd rather have the small sneak species be kobolds or goblins.

Halflings are sneaky badass people who look small, domestic, and non-threatening. They play into the power fantasies of a lot of girls.

-Username17

[erik]

What compels anyone to play as a halfling other than game mechanics? I can understand the appeal of dwarves as caricatures of squat miners and grumpy grandpas but the halfling... I'd rather have the small sneak species be kobolds or goblins.

Halflings are sneaky badass people who look small, domestic, and non-threatening. They play into the power fantasies of a lot of girls.

-Username17

And tiny guys. I used to be super tiny, and awesome at hiding and climbing. I remained tiny until I hit age 15-16 (less than 5' as a freshman). I remember when I got my driver's license I fibbed and said I was 5'6" 100lb because I figured I'd grow into those numbers before getting my next license. Since I started playing D&D long before then, I had developed a love for playing as a halflling.

[RelentlessImp]

Small races play into the power fantasies of large guys, too. I've always been kinda huge for my age, regardless of age, topping out at 6'2 at 15. Sometimes you just wanna be tiny and cute rather than big and hulking. I developed a love for playing gnomes, but halflings work too, when people pay zero respect for gnomes.

[Prak]

There's also the appeal of being tiny and fearless, the potential for getting to play out the short-race who stands up to the gigantic monster which quails all your party save you alone.

Granted, the fearless thing is partially rules based, and just going by mechanics there's a good chance that if your entire party is cowering in fear it doesn't matter how tiny and fearless you are, you're still gonna die.

[rasmuswagner]

Small races play into the power fantasies of large guys, too. I've always been kinda huge for my age, regardless of age, topping out at 6'2 at 15. Sometimes you just wanna be tiny and cute rather than big and hulking. I developed a love for playing gnomes, but halflings work too, when people pay zero respect for gnomes.

"You sit on the chair and take the weight off your legs, dangling your feet freely".
"As you pass the mirror, you meet the gaze of your own reflection and admire your hair".
"A glimpse of movement sends you running through the open doorways of the unfamiliar house, down the basement stairs. You see something glisten on a table in a cramped workspace, and lean in to inspect it".