The Gaming Den

Posted: **Tue Mar 25, 2014 4:06 pm**

I am completely in agreement with both PoliteNewb and codeGlaze. The hot chick I boned was alter selfed or polymorphed and isn't usually one? Eh, not a problem. The hot chick I boned has been stalking me for really long and is some sort of sexual narcissist... Need... Brainbleach... Now

Posted: **Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:54 pm**

Posted: **Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:58 pm**

Fuck you, Darth Rabbit and radthemad4. It's not about the form-changing, it's about Elminister feeling anything in his groin besides a swift kick.

Sex feels good and that Mary Sue does not deserve to have any. He also doesn't deserve to have delicious alcoholic beverages, Mexican food, well-brewed coffee, a runner's high, the pleasure of a well-designed video game, or the feel of a cute domestic critter's fur between his fingers.

Posted: **Tue Mar 25, 2014 7:17 pm**

I'd say he's only fit to be shoved in a cage and poked with a wand of Shocking Grasp occasionally, but he might enjoy that, or grow to.

Posted: **Tue Mar 25, 2014 7:46 pm**

Well I've hit my lifetime quota of BDSM Elminater fanfiction.

Posted: **Tue Mar 25, 2014 10:06 pm**

Lago PARANOIA wrote:Fuck you, Darth Rabbit and radthemad4. It's not about the form-changing, it's about Elminister feeling anything in his groin besides a swift kick.

Sex feels good and that Mary Sue does not deserve to have any. He also doesn't deserve to have delicious alcoholic beverages, Mexican food, well-brewed coffee, a runner's high, the pleasure of a well-designed video game, or the feel of a cute domestic critter's fur between his fingers.

Oh, I don't want Elminster getting any (or for that matter, getting anything good), I just don't find the concept of him having secretly been everything my character's boned particularly terrifying, or even that unsettling.

Posted: **Wed Mar 26, 2014 12:58 am**

Elminster showed up in our current campaign, said he was going to claim credit for our slaying of the arc villain and tried to tell my character, the only male in the party, that he'd laid plains with the ladies that didn't include him.

He got put in a full nelson while my character cut him a few times and then kicked him in the balls.

/off-topic

Posted: **Wed Mar 26, 2014 1:46 am**

Darth Rabbitt wrote: I just don't find the concept of him having secretly been everything my character's boned particularly terrifying, or even that unsettling.

This is why we killed you off in 4E, Mystra.

Posted: **Wed Mar 26, 2014 9:41 pm**

OgreBattle wrote:
PoliteNewb wrote:
Koumei wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if you're a Wizard (you're a Wizard), there are ways around basically all problems.
And that brings us back to Elminster:
http://www.tgdmb.com/viewtopic.php?t=52 ... highlight=

As you get up to put on your boots of planar travel from the Balor Queen's bed you hear dry laughter behind you... dry old man laughter. Spinning around you see a wrinkly old wizard nude as day, his long white beard doing little to cover his modesty. As you stand there stunned, he takes a long drag of his pipe and speaks through an exhaled haze.

"Why the surprised look? It's not the first time we've shared a bed together. Yes, I was the balor 'queen' you took last night... and more... I was the solar princess whose aid you caim to, I was the dryad that lured you into the woods, I was the harpy, the lamia, the giantess, and even the sahaugin mutant! From the day you first took up the sword to today where you conquered the last bastion of hell, I was the one!!"

Roll for SAN loss.... except for Politenewb cuz he dont give a fuck
PoliteNewb wrote: I'm sure some people are going to think I'm gross, but who gives a fuck? I don't care if the hot chick I am boning is secretly a wrinkly old man, as long as I don't have to deal with beards and old man balls. If things stay in "hot chick territory" for the duration of the naked timez, I don't care what he looks like when he goes home.

My definition of what is fun to have sex with depends entirely on present sensations. If you look and feel like a hot chick, I will probably be cool with sexing you. I don't care what you look and feel like most of the time; just the times when you and I are naked together. I don't care if you're Elminster, a mind flayer, whatever.

tl/dr: I am fine with getting a BJ from a convincing tranny.

Super Plot Twist: PC is actually a simulacrum of Elminster as a young man.

What the fuck did I just read.

The Gaming Den

How many monster girls are there in D&D?

Come on Man! Look a bit happier about it!