Moar Pokeymans

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Koumei
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Post by Koumei »

NPC Class: Team Rocket Grunt
"Outta our way, kid! We need to go do more bad things!"

Hit Die: d6
Skill points: 2 + Int
Class Skills: Bluff, Disguise, Hide, Intimidate, Move Silently, Sleight of Hand
Proficiencies: sap, whip, net, bolas
LevelBABFortRefWillSpecial
1+0+2+2+0Expendible, Train Pokemon
2+1+3+3+0Element of Surprise +1
3+2+3+3+1Gang Up
4+3+4+4+1Element of Surprise +2
5+4+4+4+1Second Pokemon

Expendible (Ex): Team Rocket Grunts are so useless as to be spent like a resource half the time. Instead of having Feats, the Grunt just gains a Competence Bonus on Intimidate checks. This is equal to the number of Feats he would normally have. Additionally, all of his Pokemon add this number as a Circumstance Bonus to their Attack and Damage rolls while the Grunt is conscious.

Train Pokemon (Ex): Every Team Rocket Grunt has a single pokemon to control - until fifth level, where they have two. At level 1, it must have a CR of 1/2 or less. At levels 2-3 it must have a CR of 1. After that, the CR of the Pokemon must be 2 less than his level. The second Pokemon has a CR equal to that of the first minus 1, so a level 5 Grunt has a CR 3 Pokemon and a CR 2 Pokemon and is nominally a CR 4-5 challenge in total, give or take.

Element of Surprise (Ex): Team Rocket Grunts gain a +1 Bonus to Initiative and Hide checks at second level. At level four, this increases to +2. Their Pokemon also gain this bonus.

Gang Up (Ex): Starting at level three, Team Rocket Grunts, don't have to be adjacent to or in reach of someone they Aid - they can make Aid Other actions out to Line of Sight. Additionally, all of their Pokemon count as flanking any target they are adjacent to, so if they stand next to each other and attack the same target, it still counts as flanking.

Team Rocket Grunts almost always choose from amongst the following: Zubat, Magnemite, Grimer, Ekans, Voltorb.

---

Prestige Class: Team Rocket Executive
"Prepare for trouble!" "And make it double!"

Requirements:
Skills: Bluff 10 ranks, Disguise 10 ranks, Handle Animal 10 ranks, Hide 10 ranks, Intimidate 10 ranks, Sleight of Hand 10 ranks
Special: Train Pokemon class feature
Special: allegiance to Team Rocket. A Knight of the Order of Team Rocket needn't meet the skill requirements.

Hit Die: d8
Skill points: 6 + Int
Class Skills: Appraise, Bluff, Disguise, Escape Artist, Forgery, Gather Information, Hide, Intimidate, Jump, Listen, Move Silently, Ride, Search, Sleight of Hand, Spot, Use Rope
Proficiencies: sap, whip, net, bolas
LevelBABFortRefWillSpecial
1+0+2+2+0Caster Level, Control Pokemon
2+1+3+3+0Craft Dark Ball, Steal Summons
3+2+3+3+1Element of Surprise +2, Disguise Self
4+3+4+4+1Type Specialisation, Art of Meanness
5+3+4+4+1Expanded Capacity, HQ Storage
6+4+5+5+2Element of Surprise +4, Invisibility Sphere
7+5+5+5+2Scare Tactics
8+6+6+6+2Team Rocket's Blasting Off Again!
9+6+6+6+3Element of Surprise +6, Hop To It!
10+7+7+7+3Expanded Capacity, Like a Bauss

Caster Level: Any Caster Level the Team Rocket Executive has continues to increase every level.

Control Pokemon: The Team Rocket Executive continues to be able to control Pokemon as he gains levels, with the maximum level and total level both increasing as normal.

Craft Dark Ball (Ex): At second level, the Team Rocket Executive gains the ability to craft Dark Balls, to assist in their covert nighttime theft.

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At second level, the Team Rocket Executive gains the ability to cast Steal Summons with an Immediate Action at will. At third level, he can cast Disguise Self at will, and at level six, he can cast Invisibility Sphere twice per day. Any Save DC is Charisma-based or Intelligence-based, his choice.

Element of Surprise (Ex): The third-level Team Rocket Executive gains a +2 Circumstance Bonus to Initiative and Hide Checks, a bonus that he shares with his Pokemon. Every three levels thereafter, the bonus increases by +2.

Type Specialisation (Ex): At level four, the Team Rocket Executive gains Type Specialisation with either [Dark], [Electric] or [Poison] Type Pokemon.

Art of Meanness (Ex): The fourth-level Team Rocket Executive's Pokemon - all of them - gain Mean as a Bonus Feat, even if they don't meet the requirements.

Expanded Capacity (Ex): At levels five and ten, the Team Rocket Executive is able to own and control an additional Pokemon, though must still obey the regular limits for control when out of pokeballs.

HQ Storage (Su): The fifth-level Team Rocket Executive gains access to the Team Rocket Storage Server. This works just like Store Pokemon and Recall Pokemon.

Scare Tactics (Ex): At level seven, the Team Rocket Executive grants all of his Pokemon the Dreadful Demeanour feat as a Bonus Feat.

Team Rocket's Blasting Off Again! (Sp): At eighth level, the Team Rocket Executive gains the ability to cast a Quickened Teleport Without Error, but only to a pre-established "safe location". In order to make a place a valid target, he must spend at least one full day there without engaging in combat or being otherwise threatened.

Hop To It! (Ex): The ninth-level Team Rocket Executive grants all of his Pokemon Me First! as a Bonus Feat.

Like a Bauss (Ex): At level ten, the Team Rocket Executive is a boss - he leads his own division of Team Rocket, and thus gains followers (Warriors and Team Rocket Grunts) of his own and a base. He is expected to then plan various operations and unrealistic goals and engage in quirky activities that are often foiled by plucky heroes. He also gains the secret Technical Machine for Fissure, allowing all of his Pokemon to cast Abyssal Rift once each per hour, with the damage increased to 1d6 per hit dice and all being a [Ground] effect..
Last edited by Koumei on Tue Oct 02, 2012 8:06 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Koumei
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Post by Koumei »

Incidentally, I've still been making changes here and there to some of mine on the dndwiki site - for instance, Scyther and Scizor have been updated a little (Pokemon Traits, Fury Cutter, Contest Stats, Scyther gets a couple more Spell-Likes, Scizor gets Bullet Punch and Technician).

And in this thread, you can kind of expect the Feats and Items posts to constantly grow.
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Koumei
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Post by Koumei »

From the serebii.net entries on the cinema things - there are special "pokemon" to battle that are not technically pokemon and can't be found anywhere else in the game...

UFO
Monofuckinglithic Construct
20 20 20 20 20 20
HD: 20d10+160 (270 HP)
Init +5
Speed: Fly 250' (Poor)
Space/Reach: 250'/5'
BAB/Grab: +15/+48
-Slam +15 (12d6+10)
AC: 47 (-8 Size +5 Dex +40 Natural)
-flat 42 touch 7
Fort +14 Ref +11 Will +14
Feats: Iron Will, Great Fortitude, Juggernaut, Combat School, Ability Focus (Ice Beam, Flamethrower, Hyper Beam)
Skills: Intimidate +28, Diplomacy +28, Know: Planes +28, Concentration +28, Survival +28
Special Attacks: Mind Control, Telekinesis, Ice Beam, Dark Pulse, Hyper Beam, Flamethrower
Special Qualities: Levitation, Psychic Pokemon Traits, Electric Pokemon Traits, Holding Bay

Mind Control (Su): the UFO has a MIND CONTROL RAY. This requires a Ranged Touch Attack (+12) to be made with a Standard Action, and if it hits, the target must pass a Will Save (DC 25) or be Dominated for 3 rounds. This is a [Psychic] effect. In a Contest, this automatically succeeds.

Telekinesis (Sp): the UFO can use its Tractor Beam to cast Telekinesis at will. This is a [Psychic] effect.

Ice Beam (Sp): the UFO can cast Polar Ray once per 3 rounds, unleashing the icce beam from a RAY GUN. The target, if hit, must pass a Fort Save (DC 27) or be frozen solid for 3 rounds. This is an [Ice] effect. In a Contest, select one target when using this. On the following Round, they act last.

Dark Pulse (Su): the UFO can unleash a pulse of dark energies at will. This reaches out to Medium Range, and deals 20d6+5 damage to all, with a Fortitude Save (DC 25) to halve it. Those that fail the save are Staggered for one round. This is a [Dark] effect.

Hyper Beam (Su): once per hour, the UFO can fire the hyper beam from the main gun - this is its DEATH RAY. This extends in a Long Line, dealing 100 points of damage to all in the area, even affecting Ghosts. There is a Reflex Save (DC 27) for half damage. After firing, the UFO's power is drained and it is effectively Dazed until the end of its next turn. This is a [Normal] effect.

Flamethrower (Ex): the UFO has a flamethrower that can unleash a 120' Cone of fire once per 3 rounds. This deals 20d6+5 damage, and even deals full damage to objects. There is a Reflex Save (DC 27) for half damage. This is a [Fire] effect.

Levitation (Su): the UFO can hover in place despite its Poor Fly Speed.

Holding Bay (Ex): the UFO can hold up to 4,500 Medium creatures quite comfortably. You can extrapolate from there, though each floor tends to only be 15' tall.

---

Mechannitar
BigLargeMcFuckenHuge Construct
40 10 30 20 10 10
HD: 10d10+110 (165 HP)
Init +0
Speed: 60' Swim 60'
Side/Reach: 100' (200' tall)/20'
BAB/Grab: +7/+46
-Head Slam +16 (8d6+24 +6d6 Electricity)
AC: 32 (-8 Size +30 Natural)
-flat 32 touch 2
Fort +16 Ref +3 Will +6
Feats: Great Fortitude, Iron Will, Juggernaut, Combat School (RAWR)
Skills: Survival +13, Concentrate +23, Intimidate +13, Spot +13, Listen +13
Attacks: Spark, Surf, Iron Head, Earthquake, Stomp, Tail Sweep
Qualities: Steel Pokemon Traits, Analytic, Berserk, Power Source
Advancement: 11+ HD (BigLargeMcFuckenHuge)

Spark (Ex): when Mechannitar hits with its Slam, it may deal additional electricity damage. It would be 1d6 damage if Mechannitar was Medium, but I have some bad news on that front. Using this ability turns Iron Head into an [Electric] effect.

Surf (Su): Mechannitar can, for no good reason, surf atop water. It actually magically controls the water beneath it to hold it aloft. It can also cast Tidal Surge once per day (Int-based). The Save DC is 20 for the sample Mechannitar. This is a [Water] effect.

Iron Head (Ex): Mechannitar's Slam is a [Steel] effect, and targets who are hit must pass a Fortitude Save (Strength-based) or be Staggered for one round. The sample Mechannitar's Save DC is 30.

Earthquake (Ex): with a Full Round Action, Mechannitar can cast Earthquake (Con-based) once per hour. The sample Mechannitar's Earthquake is DC 25. This is a [Ground] effect. In a Contest, this obliterates the stadium - the Round Earthquake is used is always the final Round.

Stomp (Ex): Mechannitar can just flat-out walk over smaller things when moving around. They can either make an Attack of Opportunity and suffer 8d6+22 damage, or automatically dive out of the way, falling Prone and taking no damage. This is a [Normal] effect.

Tail Sweep (Ex): with a Standard Action, Mechannitar may unleash a massive tail sweep. This deals 8d6+22 damage to everything within 60' of Mechannitar, with a Reflex Save (Strength-based) for half. This is a [Normal] effect. The sample Mechannitar has a Save DC of 30.

Analytic (Ex): Mechannitar adds its Intelligence Bonus (normally zero, but that can be changed) as a Competence Bonus on Reflex and Will Saves. If it has a lower Initiative count than its target, it also adds its Intelligence Bonus as a Competence Bonus on the attack roll (if any). It rolls twice and picks the highest result for saves against [Mind-Affecting] effects.

Berserk (Ex): if anything happens to the signal receiver, or sometimes just because of an error, the Mechannitar goes berserk. There is a safety feature, however: when this happens, the eyes glow red and there are sirens warning everyone it has gone berserk. Truth be known, they know this already because it's wrecking things. While Berserk, it is Immune to [Mind Affecting] effects and control signals, and is compelled to attack absolutely everything. This will end if it is shut down (such as through damage) or captured.

Power Source (Ex): unless plugged into an external power supply, Mechannitar must rely on its battery unit, which provides 3 minutes of power (30 rounds). Worst-case scenario in a rampage is to cut off the external power supply and run away for 3 minutes. Once it is captured as a Pokemon, you can of course use electricity to just charge it up.

Additional Hit Dice: Mechannitar must be manually upgraded with additional hit dice and so on. Natural Armour and Strength both increase by +1 with every hit die, but that's all.

---

Mechannitar Mk II
BigLargeMcFuckenHuge Construct
40 10 30 20 10 20
HD: 12d10+132 (200 HP)
Init +0
Speed: 60' Swim 60'
Side/Reach: 100' (200' tall)/20'
BAB/Grab: +9/+48
-Head Slam +18 (9d6+24)
AC: 37 (-8 Size +35 Natural)
-flat 37 touch 2
Fort +17 Ref +4 Will +7
Feats: Great Fortitude, Iron Will, Juggernaut, Combat School (RAWR), Blitz
Skills: Survival +15, Concentrate +25, Intimidate +20, Spot +15, Listen +15
Attacks: Flamethrower, Thunderbolt, Iron Head, Dragon Pulse, Stomp, Tail Sweep, Metal Burst
Qualities: Steel Pokemon Traits, Electric Pokemon Traits, Flash Fire, Berserk, Nuclear Power Source, Tritanium Alloy
Advancement: 13+ HD (BigLargeMcFuckenHuge)

Note: Mechannitar Mk II always uses Blitz to add +1d6 damage to its attacks, because why not?

Flamethrower (Ex): This attack strikes in a 120-ft. line or 60-ft. cone and deals 1d6 fire damage per HD; this fire is hot enough to deal full damage to objects. Creatures in the area may halve the damage on a successful Reflex Save (Charisma-based). This can only be used once per 4 rounds, and is a [Fire] effect. The sample Mechannitar has a Save DC of 21 and deals 12d6 damage (72 when Flash Fire is in effect).

Thunderbolt (Ex): With a Standard Action, Mechannitar Mk II may unleash a thunderbolt against a target within Close range. The thunderbolt has a 5' radius spread and deals 1d6 damage per HD, with a Reflex Save for half damage (Charisma-based). Anyone damaged by it is Entangled for one round. Thunderbolt comes directly from the sky, and cannot be used indoors or underground. This is an [Electric] effect. The sample Mechannitar Mk II deals 12d6 damage with a Save DC of 21.

Iron Head (Ex): Mechannitar Mk II's Slam is a [Steel] effect, and targets who are hit must pass a Fortitude Save (Strength-based) or be Staggered for one round. The sample Mechannitar's Save DC is 31.

Dragon Pulse (Su): with a Standard Action once per 3 rounds, Mechannitar Mk II can unleash the Dragon Pulse, which is identical to Flamethrower, except that it is a [Dragon] effect, it is not affected by Flash Fire, and those that are damaged must also pass a Will Save (same DC: 21) or be Confused for 1 minute.

Stomp (Ex): Mechannitar Mk II can just flat-out walk over smaller things when moving around. They can either make an Attack of Opportunity and suffer 8d6+22 damage, or automatically dive out of the way, falling Prone and taking no damage. This is a [Normal] effect.

Tail Sweep (Ex): with a Standard Action, Mechannitar Mk II may unleash a massive tail sweep. This deals 8d6+22 damage to everything within 60' of Mechannitar Mk II, with a Reflex Save (Strength-based) for half. This is a [Normal] effect. The sample Mechannitar Mk II has a Save DC of 31.

Flash Fire (Ex): Mechannitar Mk II is Immune to [Fire] attacks and other sources of Fire Damage. Any time it would take fire damage if not for this immunity, it is powered up - if it uses a [Fire] attack on its next turn, the effect is maximised.

Berserk (Ex): if anything happens to the signal receiver, or sometimes just because of an error, the Mechannitar Mk II goes berserk. There is a safety feature, however: when this happens, the eyes glow red and there are sirens warning everyone it has gone berserk. Truth be known, they know this already because it's wrecking things. While Berserk, it is Immune to [Mind Affecting] effects and control signals, and is compelled to attack absolutely everything. This will end if it is shut down (such as through damage) or captured.

Nuclear Power Source (Ex): Mechannitar Mk II has a better power source than the old model: a nuclear battery that provides it with 10 years of active use.

Metal Burst (Ex): whenever it takes damage from a physical source, the tightly-woven carbon nano-fibres that make up Mechannitar Mk II's armour explode outwards, showering people with flensing metal splinters. Every time it takes such damage, all within 15' of the point of impact (the square or squares actually hit) suffer 2d6 damage plus its Hit Dice (2d6+12 in this case). This is a [Steel] effect.

Tritanium Alloy (Ex): due to the armour plating of Mechannitar Mk II being three times as strong as Titanium, it is completely immune to Critical Hits from everything other than [Ground] effects.

Additional Hit Dice: Mechannitar Mk II must be manually upgraded with additional hit dice and so on. Natural Armour and Strength both increase by +1 with every hit die, and Constitution and Charisma increase by +1 with every second level.
Last edited by Koumei on Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:21 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Post by Wiseman »

Koumei, do you mind if I cannibalize some of the content here for my PMD D20? (mainly the items atm)
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Post by Koumei »

Go for it, you have my blessings. The Blessings of Koumei (Su), even.
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Post by Prak »

What powers or bonuses does the Blessing of Koumei confer?
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
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Post by Koumei »

It's one of those stupid achievement feats from NWN2 that does nothing other than remind you what you've done in game and maybe let you qualify for a Prestige Class.

Though given I chose the name Koumei as the Japanification of Zhuge Liang Kongming, the brilliant Chinese tacticianpolitician who specialised in the use of firefiguring out what people really wanted to do, and inventing things...

It probably gives some kind of bonus when using fire.
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Post by Prak »

Ah, I've been playing Skyrim, so it made me think of the little almost-bullshit-but-just-big-enough-you-actually-do-sort-of-care bonuses from shrines there.

I can only imagine what the Shrine of Koumei would be like.
Last edited by Prak on Tue Jul 01, 2014 11:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Post by TarkisFlux »

Prak_Anima wrote:I can only imagine what the Shrine of Koumei would be like.
It would be full of firewalking lesbians offering up pain killers to their mistress. And it would be glorious.
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Post by Prak »

Koumei
Invincible Overlord, Beautiful Queen
Greater Deity
Symbol: A nude female form dancing on hot coals with a whip
Image
Home Plane: A layer of the Abyss where everything is poisonous
Portfolio: Lesbians, Pain Killers, Domination
Aligment: Lawful Evil
Worshippers: Lesbians, Submissives, Summoners
Domains: Domination, Drow, Evil, Inquisition, Law, Pain, Suffering, Summoning
Favoured Weapon: Whip

Blessing of Koumei
Those who pray at the Shrine of Koumei are blessed by the goddess in the pursuits of using fire, and dealing with pain.
All fire damage they deal is increased by 1 die size, and can make a special concoction which eliminates all pain for 1d6 hours, albeit at the cost of dealing 1d3 wisdom damage per dose, and having a moderate addiction level.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Post by Koumei »

Every now and then, people get all weird about a member of the Den. Usually Frank is the recipient. I'm... flattered?

Anyway, why would I want to walk on fire? Also, increasing the die size is a pain, because few people have more than a couple of d8 and Fireball can use 10d6 at a stretch. If I am linked to fire in some way, just add 1 to the CL of [Fire] effects. As for the concoction, Book of Vile Body Piercings has a drug called Sannish that is pretty close to opium (but with less severe overdose effects).
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Post by Prak »

I think the fire walking was in regards to the Zhuge Liang Kongming thing.

Also, i think this has just kind of become the traditional Denizen reward for producing awesome things.

Also, since I'm doubting you can be arsed to deal with Shitmuffin's rant again, check the thread of my stuff for pokeymans related stupid relevant to your interest
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Post by Koumei »

Oh right. With all the stuff related to me personally, I already forgot the Zhuge Liang stuff.
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Post by Prak »

And since it's sort of pokemon related, I suppose I can post it here:
Shibboleth
Huge Aberration
Hit Die: 15d8+20
Init:+2
Spd: 10 ft., swim 60 ft.
AC: 15 (+2 dex, -2 dex, +5 natural)
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+21
Attack: Tentacle +13m (1d6+6)
Full Attack: 6 tentacles +13m (1d6+6)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./15 ft.
Special Attack: Inquisitor's Lash, Brainwashing, Psionics
Special Qualities: Aquatic Subtype, Darkvision 60 ft., Improved Grab
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +15
Abilities: Str 22, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 20, Wis 24, Cha 24
Skills: Autohypnosis +20, Bluff +19, Diplomacy +21, Intimidate +37, Kn. (Arcana) +18, Listen +20, Sense Motive +42, Spot +20, Swim +6
Feats: Alertness, Combat Casting, Iron Will, Negotiator, Memory Eater (LoM), Skill Focus (Sense Motive)

Shibboleths are aboleths who have been exposed to the fell eldritch energies of strange blue rocks. They are cruel and hateful beings, filled with paranoia and the belief that they are surrounded by impostors and deceivers. It is possible these creatures filled an exalted place in the antedeluvian aboleth empires, and indeed, aboleths tend to defer to them, as they expect all creatures to--those who do not are immediately suspected of being diabolical infiltrators seeking the aboleth race's precious bodily fluids and purity of essence.

Combat
Shibboleths are frail, physically weak things compared to their prior form, but what they lose in strength and durability, they gain in mental acuity and presence.

Inquisitor's Lash (Su) The slime of a shibboleth is quite different from that of an aboleth. Instead of transforming the target, it cuts through all manner of illusion and attempt to deceive.
A target struck by a shibboleth's lash, including areas containing illusions (treat as striking an appropriately sized object), is affected as by a targeted Greater Dispel Magic effect with a caster level of 15. This effect only dispels effects from, or which mimic effects from, the schools of Enchantment, Illusion and Transmutation.

Brainwashing (Su): A Shibboleth which has maintained a grapple on an intelligent target and has two free tentacles may insert those tentacles into the creature, usually into the brain via the ears, though this will differ depending on the nature of the creature, and exert influence directly on the creature. This functions as the spell Mindrape as cast by a 17th level wizard. This effect may be used at will.

Psionics: Shibboleths manifest as 10th level psions with the Telepathy discipline.

Skills: Shibboleths excel at rooting out falsehoods, both through guile and implied force, and have a +12 racial bonus to Bluff, Diplomacy, Intimidate and Sense Motive. While this, coupled with their powers and natural presence makes them supreme deceivers themselves, those who over use these abilities are quickly turned on by other shibboleths, who then investigate how an impostor could have become a shibboleth. As creatures with swim speeds, shibboleths also receive a +8 to swim checks made to perform a special action or avoid a hazard. They always can choose to take 10 on a Swim check, even if distracted or endangered when swimming and can use the run action while swimming, provided that it swims in a straight line.
Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Chamomile
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Post by Chamomile »

I considered doing the Koumei deity thing, but since the only things I know about Koumei basically come down to wrestling, anime, lesbians, and a mild interest in BDSM, I wasn't confident in my ability to produce anything not a caricature. An unusually multi-faceted caricature, to be sure, but still a caricature.

But if we're making caricatures anyway at least add some wrestling and anime into it. You're missing half of the portfolio.
Koumei
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Post by Koumei »

Blessed of Koumei:
If someone should spill your tea, the only response is a heel hook.
Requirements: Cleric Level 6, Patron Deity Koumei
Benefit: add the following spells to your Class List and Spells Known at the following levels: Enlarge Person (1), Babau Slime (1), Fearsome Grapple (2), Bladeweave (2), Girallon's Blessing (3), Polymorph (4 - self only). Whenever you deal 10 or more damage in a grapple, someone else has to shout "THE CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! THE CRIPPLER CROSSFACE! IT'S GOTTA' BE OVER NOW, RING THE DAMN BELL!"

And I think I might have been elevated above Frank by becoming a deity, but given I don't believe in deities, this creates a serious existential problem.
Count Arioch the 28th wrote:There is NOTHING better than lesbians. Lesbians make everything better.
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Chamomile
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Post by Chamomile »

If I ever run a comedy game, it's going to have a deity in it who is an atheist who ascended to godhood and is now consumed by existential anguish because they can no longer believe in themselves. May or may not otherwise be based on Koumei.
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Post by radthemad4 »

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Chamomile
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Post by Chamomile »

Yes, and clearly the nonsensical nature of D&D atheism is out of character for an atheist who, upon ascending to divinity, suffers an existential crisis arising from the belief that they themselves do not exist.
Last edited by Chamomile on Thu Jul 03, 2014 4:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Maxus
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Post by Maxus »

Terry Pratchett wrote:Wizards don't believe in gods in the same way that most people don't find it necessary to believe in, say, tables. They know they're there, they know they're there for a purpose, they'd probably agree that they have a place in a well-organised universe, but they wouldn't see the point of believing, of going around saying "O great table, without whom we are as naught." Anyway, either the gods are there whether you believe in them or not, or exist only as a function of the belief, so either way you might as well ignore the whole business and, as it were, eat off your knees.
He jumps like a damned dragoon, and charges into battle fighting rather insane monsters with little more than his bare hands and rather nasty spell effects conjured up solely through knowledge and the local plantlife. He unerringly knows where his goal lies, he breathes underwater and is untroubled by space travel, seems to have no limits to his actual endurance and favors killing his enemies by driving both boots square into their skull. His agility is unmatched, and his strength legendary, able to fling about a turtle shell big enough to contain a man with enough force to barrel down a near endless path of unfortunates.

--The horror of Mario

Zak S, Zak Smith, Dndwithpornstars, Zak Sabbath. He is a terrible person and a hack at writing and art. His cultural contributions are less than Justin Bieber's, and he's a shitmuffin. Go go gadget Googlebomb!
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Post by Starmaker »

Terry Pratchett wrote:Wizards don't believe in gods in the same way that most people don't find it necessary to believe in, say, tables. They know they're there, they know they're there for a purpose, they'd probably agree that they have a place in a well-organised universe, but they wouldn't see the point of believing, of going around saying "O great table, without whom we are as naught." Anyway, either the gods are there whether you believe in them or not, or exist only as a function of the belief, so either way you might as well ignore the whole business and, as it were, eat off your knees.
I'm so fucking tired of this pseudo-intellectualism. This is only possible because the Western civilization is largely informed by Christian pop monotheism and associated bullshit circular sophistry where belief as in acknowledgment of existence automatically assumes and is equated to worship, on par with "the theory of evolution is just a theory".
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Post by Whipstitch »

So are you upset with Pratchett or someone else then? Because in that quote Pratchett simply seems to be making the distinction you're talking about due tot he circumstances you're talking about.
bears fall, everyone dies
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Prak
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Post by Prak »

Cuz apparently I gotta break this down for you dense motherfuckers- I'm trans feminine nonbinary. My pronouns are they/them.
Winnah wrote:No, No. 'Prak' is actually a Thri Kreen impersonating a human and roleplaying himself as a D&D character. All hail our hidden insect overlords.
FrankTrollman wrote:In Soviet Russia, cosmic horror is the default state.

You should gain sanity for finding out that the problems of a region are because there are fucking monsters there.
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Post by radthemad4 »

Whipstitch wrote:So are you upset with Pratchett or someone else then? Because in that quote Pratchett simply seems to be making the distinction you're talking about due tot he circumstances you're talking about.
Word definitions get mixed up sometimes (see most uses of 'sentient' that probably meant 'sapient'), but yeah, the quote acknowledges the distinction between belief and worship even though it refers to both as belief.
That makes sense. The average dirt farmer doesn't get to go around talking to and meeting gods, and only has the clerics' word that their powers are from deities, even if they actually are.
Chamomile wrote:
Yes, and clearly the nonsensical nature of D&D atheism is out of character for an atheist who, upon ascending to divinity, suffers an existential crisis arising from the belief that they themselves do not exist.
I see how this could work now.
Last edited by radthemad4 on Fri Jul 04, 2014 8:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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