Do babies make Escape Artist checks when they're being born?

[OgreBattle]

Taking "Rules as the laws of physics of the world", what kind of rolls would it be?

Given size, stat modifiers of the newborn (are they dex 1?)

[Juton]

I would imagine the mother makes a constitution roll, she's the one doing all the work.

[Maj]

No. They don't.

[Thymos]

They must, but since they are untrained they need a nat 20.

That's why it takes so long for some to get out.

[...You Lost Me]

This reminds me of that section from one of the 3.5 dragon-related books that required wyrmlings to make Constitution checks to be born, and it was actually impossible for most of the dragons in the Monster Manual to make that check.

[Emerald]

Don't be ridiculous! It's not an Escape Artist check at all; as we all know, the standard procedure for a small creature to escape the body of another, larger creature in 3e is to "cut its way out by using a light slashing or piercing weapon to deal [some number] points of damage to the [desired exit point] which has AC [some number]. Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another [creature] must cut its own way out."

<Insert crude joke about that quote being taken from the Purple Worm entry.>

Obviously C-sections exist to help out those foolish babies who didn't have the foresight to generate a light piercing or slashing weapon with them in the womb, and the doctors are merely there to Aid Another the babies given their terrible attack bonuses.

[RobbyPants]

Taking "Rules as the laws of physics of the world", what kind of rolls would it be?

Given size, stat modifiers of the newborn (are they dex 1?)

No, they do not. The DM coddles them and has the mother's vagina expand for them, thus lowering the DC to a level that they can attain, although they don't realize it; they think they completed a level appropriate challenge.

[Ancient History]

Although the DC rises by +5 if they try to go through feet-first.

[OgreBattle]

What race is the most optimized for giving birth, and being born?

something that's +CON/DEX?

Halflings and dwarves?

[squirrelloid]

Don't be ridiculous! It's not an Escape Artist check at all; as we all know, the standard procedure for a small creature to escape the body of another, larger creature in 3e is to "cut its way out by using a light slashing or piercing weapon to deal [some number] points of damage to the [desired exit point] which has AC [some number]. Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another [creature] must cut its own way out."

<Insert crude joke about that quote being taken from the Purple Worm entry.>

Obviously C-sections exist to help out those foolish babies who didn't have the foresight to generate a light piercing or slashing weapon with them in the womb, and the doctors are merely there to Aid Another the babies given their terrible attack bonuses.

I'm pretty sure this wins the thread. And you're a bad person. It's a win all around.

[echoVanguard]

As someone who recently assisted with this particular encounter type for the first time, here is my assessment:

- the mother undergoes a series of processes beyond her control to enable the baby to escape the womb, effectively granting a +2 circumstance bonus to the baby's roll.
- the baby *does* have to make an Escape Artist check, but it's an extremely easy one (DC 0) that only involves turning its head and shoulders to one side and arching its neck after the mother's gravity and muscular action expels the baby (which, as we know from the Swallow Whole rules, requires no check or action on the part of the mother). As AH points out, however, if the baby is not properly oriented, it may incur a -2 circumstance penalty to the its roll). Note that the baby may still be unable to accomplish this, as its Dexterity score of 1 grants a -4 penalty to any Dexterity-based rolls such as Escape Artist (and newborn babies have no skill points invested in any skills other than Survival).
- the doctor may assist the baby with the exit process, using the Aid Another action as previously described. If the doctor has Masterwork Tools, the doctor gains a +2 bonus on this check.
- Once the baby is expelled, it must make a DC 5 Constitution check to breathe the air of its newfound environment. Thankfully, babies have pretty impressive Constitution scores, and in any case the doctor may again use the Aid Another action to assist.

For those curious, everything went well, and the level 1 human is currently putting her skill points into "pee on parents" and "smiling at cartoons". I believe these are effectively Perform categories.

echo

[JigokuBosatsu]

You know, we're expecting another encounter like this in June. Maybe I should put those Bard levels to good use...

[Shrapnel]

Jim's character in Episode III died because of in-game childbirth.