The Gaming Den

So if you were going to captain Kirk your way from level 1 to 20, does D&D have enough monster girls for every level?

Kinda depends on what you mean by "monster girls." Monstrous humanoids only? Does shapeshifting count?

EDIT: limiting myself to mainly monstrous humanoids, outsiders, and fey that are depicted as feminine in book art, here's a quick list:

1: Tons o' humanoids here, too many to list
2:
3: Doppelganger, dryad, yuan-ti pureblood
4: Harpy
5: Green hag, sirine
6: Annis hag, glaistig, lamia
7: Drider, lillend, medusa, nymph, succubus
8: Erinyes, yochlol
9: Night hag
10: Rakshasa
11: Brachina
12: Abeil queen, elemental weirds, lilitu
13:
14:
16: Frostwind virago
15:
17: Marilith
18: Paeliryon (uuughhh)
19:
20:

Add giants if size isn't an issue for Kirk. Monster girls seem to run out pretty quick in the double-digit levels.

OgreBattle wrote:So if you were going to captain Kirk your way from level 1 to 20, does D&D have enough monster girls for every level?

That depends on your monster girl needs. Obviously, if we allow Goblins with class levels to count, we can just sleep with 20 evil clerics of varying power levels. Furthermore, there are a lot of monsters that can be male or female - nothing stopping you from encountering a female centaur or a female frost giant. Further, there are many monsters in the book that are portrayed as female in the art but actually are in both sexes and that's pretty much random. There obviously are enough female Gyhtyanki and female Yuan-Ti to have females pictured, but there's no reason they have to be. And then there are monsters who are specifically female oriented, but which nonetheless show up in both sexes - obviously as Captain Kirk you'd enjoy your time among the Drow or Merfolk, but there are plenty of dudes in those enemy squads. And there are specifically female monsters that don't appear to even have mouths capable of giving you a blowjob, like the Formian Queen or the Phoenix. And of course there are shapechangers like Gold Dragons and Doppelgangers, who can appear as hot chicks if they want to.

But let's say you just wanted specifically female monsters with identifiable human parts.

1. Selkie, Petal
2. Abeil Vassal
3. Dryad
4. Harpy
5. Green Hag, Sirine, Sylph
6. Annis Hag, Lamia*, Abeil Soldier, Caryatid Column, Glaistig
7. Liliend, Medusa, Nymph, Succubus, Oread
8. Ginosphynx, Erinyes, Shimmerling Swarm
9. Night Hag, Movanic Deva
10. Guardian Naga
12. Abeil Queen, Elemental Weird, Monadic Deva
14. Astral Deva
17. Marilith, Banshee
18. Blackstone Gigant

*: 3rd edition has male Lamias, but the word is still feminine, so it counts.

That's just the basic monster manuals up to 3. Obviously if we include crap like Monsters of Faerun we can add some more. And I'm not including the "advanced" versions of any of these creatures (such as the level 11 Harpy or the level 8 Glaistig that appear in the books). But point should be made: throw in a few classics like Vampire and Drow Queens and it'll be trivial to go an entire zero to hero campaign seducing every single monster you ever face.

-Username17

Edit: Ninja'd twice

There totally aren't enough monster girls. If we give a free pass to everything that basically looks like a human with funny ears, or that has the ability to take humanoid form, but don't take artistic licence and go "I could easily envisage X monster as a monstergirl, it just needs a Japanese artist", then we have:

CR 3:
Doppelganger
Dryad
Mephit: most seem to look like goblinoid elemental imps (and this is the direction the video games all use), but tjeck out the Steam Mephit in the MM. That's a nice lady, scaled down in size.
Yuan-ti Pureblood
CR 4:
Aranea (humanoid form, not spider form)
Janni
Pixies, if they're "elves scaled down" and not "children"?
CR 5:
Djinni (from the sounds of it, they're supposed to be sexy exotic Arabians, with the males possibly being described as "swarthy")
Green Hag (Disguise Self)
CR 6:
Annis Hag (Disguise Self)
Bralani
Kyton (potentially - it should be easy to picture a hot naked girl under the chains)
Lamia (above the waist)
CR 7:
Drider (above the waist)
Lillend (above the waist)
Nymph
Succubus
CR 8:
Erinyes
CR 9:
Avoral?
Night Hag (shape changing)
CR 10:
Rakshasa (shape changing)
CR 11:
Cloud Giant
CR 12:
Leonal, depending on how lionlike the face is
CR 13:
Ghaele
Storm Giant maybe?
CR 14:
Astral Deva
Trumpet Archon
CR 16:
PlaneteerPlanetar (if you don't mind the baldness - it seems to work for Patrick Stewart)
CR 17:
Marilith (the serpent tail might mean you need a few ales first)
CR 21+:
Solar

Also: Metallic Dragons have the alternate form deal going, and appear at multiple challenge ratings. Then there's stuff like the Vampire template. Obviously, adding more Monster Manuals expands this. But many levels are either completely empty (15, 18-20) or only have one option (8, 10-12, 16, 17).

And that's terrible.

But it's not exactly hard to repaint the medusa as having a nice face - and as this NSFW comic shows, she usually has her tits out to start with - and then you can turn things like the Cornugon into tall, muscular, strange-coloured girls with horns and wings, like succubi that bulked up, and so on.

Level 2 has Azer, Medium Animated Statues, Bugbear, Wererat, Sahuagin and Triton.

Level 13 has the Ghaele and Storm Giantess.

Level 14 has the Astral Deva, Trumpet Archon, and Werewolf Lady.

Level 15 has a Mummy Lady.

As Frank points out, you can also fill in most levels with shapeshifting dragon and/or drow with class levels.

Tlincalli (Babylonian scorpion women somehow seem more disturbing than driders), korred, and bariaur come to mind. (probably FR for the first 2), as well as any potentially missing aquatic stuff. Can one seduce a Locathah?

This is the kind of thread you would expect from one of those "D&D with pornstars" people.

MPC can be any level, so it has as many as you need.

don't forget the halfsies. Mermaids, female centaurs, female unicorns. Kirk might has well been into beastiality considering his lineup of conquests.

The hopes and dreams of Captain Kirk Commander Riker will forever live on, I see.

Giantesses definitely count, though the first giant known for beauty would be frost giant, and fire giants... depends on what you think of dwarves. Didn't know Kytons and other outsiders could come different genders... a google search shows muscly kyton women.

Nebuchadnezzar wrote:Tlincalli (Babylonian scorpion women somehow seem more disturbing than driders)

Cuz a stinger tail is kinda phallic

Grek wrote:Level 2 has Azer, Medium Animated Statues, Bugbear, Wererat, Sahuagin and Triton.

Like... this kind of Sahuagin?

female unicorns

There's a target demographic for that alright.

Probably NSFW

Giants can totally be sexy.


Sahuagin too

This sahuagin's actually from an entire project to turn classic monsters into something fuckable.

OgreBattle wrote:Like... this kind of Sahuagin?

Close, but if you read the Flavor text there's a more likely possibility

The thing with Kirk is that he existed in an era of Trek where all the aliens were just funny coloured people. So Kirking your way through D&D is basically sleeping with things that are humans with one or two minor changes (centaurs are somewhat acceptable)
1: elves/gnomes/goblins/dwarves/Githyanki/etc
2: azer/wererat/maybe a bugbear
3: dryads, centaur, doppelgangers, Yuan Ti Purebloods, maybe derro
4: Barghest, Janni
5: Djinni, Pixie, werebear/weretiger, maybe a green hag
6: Bralani
7: nymphs, hill giant, succubus, maybe a drider, but that's getting a bit further out.
8: Efreet, Erinyes
9: Frost giant, maybe a night hag
10: Marraenoloth-depending on how skeletal they are; Rakshasha-if you're ok with furries
11: Cloud giant
12: Elemental weirds; Leonal (see rakshasa)
13: Ghaele, Storm Giant
14: Astral Deva
15: ...go try to peek under the marut's loin cloth, otherwise- Eldritch Giant
16: Planetar
17: Marilith
18: Kelvezu
19: Ocean Giant
20: Balor?

So actually it looks like you seriously can Kirk your way through D&D. If you genuinely play a xenophilic character, you have more options like harpies, suhaugin, etc.

Also, Frank, fucking a Petal would be difficult. Unless you're female with a very specific fetish, or you find an Enlarge Fae spell and then cast Reduce Person on yourself.

Prak_Anima wrote:Also, Frank, fucking a Petal would be difficult. Unless you're female with a very specific fetish, or you find an Enlarge Fae spell and then cast Reduce Person on yourself.

Do a rule34 search for Tinkerbell.

Actually, don't it's all weird.

I've seen it. In my games, at least, people do not have genitals and abdominal cavities like stretchy rubber toys.

If you don't demand that you actually stick it in, there are other sexual acts available.

Well, ok, sure, but as anyone who grew up during the Clinton administration knows, oral doesn't count.

Prak_Anima wrote:Well, ok, sure, but as anyone who grew up during the Clinton administration knows, oral doesn't count.

Nor do cigars.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if you're a Wizard (you're a Wizard), there are ways around basically all problems.

Yeah, as soon as I read this topic this morning I got the desire to play a wizard Kirking his way through D&D. Add a bit of Rincewind, and it's basically the character I never knew I always wanted to play.

Koumei wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if you're a Wizard (you're a Wizard), there are ways around basically all problems.

And that brings us back to Elminster:
http://www.tgdmb.com/viewtopic.php?t=52 ... highlight=

PoliteNewb wrote:

Koumei wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if you're a Wizard (you're a Wizard), there are ways around basically all problems.

And that brings us back to Elminster:
http://www.tgdmb.com/viewtopic.php?t=52 ... highlight=

As you get up to put on your boots of planar travel from the Balor Queen's bed you hear dry laughter behind you... dry old man laughter. Spinning around you see a wrinkly old wizard nude as day, his long white beard doing little to cover his modesty. As you stand there stunned, he takes a long drag of his pipe and speaks through an exhaled haze.

"Why the surprised look? It's not the first time we've shared a bed together. Yes, I was the balor 'queen' you took last night... and more... I was the solar princess whose aid you caim to, I was the dryad that lured you into the woods, I was the harpy, the lamia, the giantess, and even the sahaugin mutant! From the day you first took up the sword to today where you conquered the last bastion of hell, I was the one!!"

Roll for SAN loss.... except for Politenewb cuz he dont give a fuck

PoliteNewb wrote: I'm sure some people are going to think I'm gross, but who gives a fuck? I don't care if the hot chick I am boning is secretly a wrinkly old man, as long as I don't have to deal with beards and old man balls. If things stay in "hot chick territory" for the duration of the naked timez, I don't care what he looks like when he goes home.

My definition of what is fun to have sex with depends entirely on present sensations. If you look and feel like a hot chick, I will probably be cool with sexing you. I don't care what you look and feel like most of the time; just the times when you and I are naked together. I don't care if you're Elminster, a mind flayer, whatever.

tl/dr: I am fine with getting a BJ from a convincing tranny.

Super Plot Twist: PC is actually a simulacrum of Elminster as a young man.

I feel like there should be a relevant gif from Ugly Americans but couldn't find one.

That's... some fucked up shit, Ogre.

I've played two characters who ended up being impregnated by evil gods, so I have to say that repeated consensual sex with ladies who turn out to be a dirty old man is pretty weaksauce.