Wrestling Thread

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Sun May 06, 2018 6:28 am

Yeah, at least with garbage wrestling the business is more about young guys, low budgets and shock value. By contrast NOAH was dependent on Kenta Kobashi and when he broke down and they lost television deals things went south in a hurry. They couldn't afford to offer former top talent the traditional "Cushy Office Jobs For Life" treatment and many of the guys who stuck their necks out to join Kenta & NOAH responded by giving the company the finger and letting their contracts expire.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Tue May 08, 2018 4:34 am

WWE managed to make AJ-Nakamura shit. How?

Mask_De_H · Post by **Mask_De_H** » Tue May 08, 2018 5:11 am

Whipstitch wrote:WWE managed to make AJ-Nakamura shit. How?

Because unless people make like the crowd in the Roman/Joe match on a consistent basis and stop giving the company their money, WWE doesn't need to please the fans or do anything logical any more. It exists in a magical land of abstraction and cable network terror.

That finish was hilarious, in a "jawless laugh of an empty skull" sort of way. The stuff beforehand was great, which really soured people on the finish. It was a real kick in the crotch, you know?

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Tue May 08, 2018 6:33 am

Mask_De_H wrote:It was a real kick in the crotch, you know?

It's a ballsy decision to book it that way though.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Tue May 08, 2018 4:38 pm

I just don't get why WWE insists on overplaying hands over and over again. They can't just tell AJ and Nakamura to have a great match, they have to build into perpetuity. They can't just settle for Roman being over-ish with casuals, they have to insist that he's an underdog who we should rally behind. Why can't they just settle for a world where Roman is Shitty Cena but it's hard to bitch too loudly about it because the semi-main event is pure smark bait?

We're in a world where some people are unironically expressing their appreciation of Miz! The fucking Miz!

Mask_De_H · Post by **Mask_De_H** » Tue May 08, 2018 8:13 pm

Whipstitch wrote:I just don't get why WWE insists on overplaying hands over and over again. They can't just tell AJ and Nakamura to have a great match, they have to build into perpetuity. They can't just settle for Roman being over-ish with casuals, they have to insist that he's an underdog who we should rally behind. Why can't they just settle for a world where Roman is Shitty Cena but it's hard to bitch too loudly about it because the semi-main event is pure smark bait?

We're in a world where some people are unironically expressing their appreciation of Miz! The fucking Miz!

The Miz has been in the system so long he gets stroke and longevity sympathy, and since he's Budget Cena when it comes to company boosterism they let him get away with slightly more than other guys. Since everything else is so godawful, the fact Miz can deliver lines well (and at least make things feel real) makes him a promo god. See also: Elias and Smo' Jo.

Also, the Miz is the token anti-smark totem pole. It used to be Braun when he was green as goose shit, but now that he's found his footing, everyone loves him. Before that, it was Corbin in NXT, but now everyone realizes he sucks.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:08 pm

So, Dominion was certainly a thing. It was also a very bad night for Chaos.

Also, Kenny's video promo before entering the ring was like if anime and K-Drama had a baby. It was amazing.

Post by **fbmf** » Sat Jun 23, 2018 9:30 pm

We play a 3.5 Tome Game, and I'm pretty sure in our next session the Cleric is going to interrogate some Standing Stones (think Stone Henge) via STONE TELL. I've decided the Stones will sound like The Rock (post Rocky Maivia). I can't be the first one to think this up, so what catch phrases do I need to incorporate? So far I have:

When spell is cast:

"If you smeeeeeeeellllllll what The Rock is cooking?"

And I'll start every reply with, "The Rock says this:"

I didn't watch WWE during the Attitude Era (Vince admitting it was fake (1993 or so) broke my heart), so I need coaching.

Game On,
fbmf

Pariah Dog · Post by **Pariah Dog** » Sat Jun 23, 2018 10:49 pm

A few more of his "signature" interview phrases if you're looking for stuff to work in:

"It doesn't matter what you think" and "Know your role and shut your mouth" "10 pounds of monkey crap in a 5 pound bag" "Most electrifying man in sports entertainment" and "People's champion" would be a bit harder to rework.

Might be some material in here you can use too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVos0UBvpoc most of these are after I stopped watching myself.

Edit: Also Leon "Vader" White died a few days ago. Disappointing because for a guy that huge, he could move.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Sun Jun 24, 2018 1:19 am

The most important bit is to open with a proper "It doesn't matter..." before you reveal the rest of the gag since if you pull that off it justifies the entire exercise and sets the table for everything that follows. Ideal execution is dead simple and looks looks like this. From there you can simply transition to referring to enemies as jabronis and close with a "If you smeeeell" and consider it a job well done.

deaddmwalking · Post by **deaddmwalking** » Sun Jun 24, 2018 2:23 am

"You can take..., shine it up real nice, turn it sideways and shove it up your candy ass."

Edit

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sun Jul 08, 2018 1:56 pm

So apparently Hiromu collapsed after his match and might have a broken neck. Because the Phoenix Suplex is a stupid move and Dragon Lee is a fucking idiot who uses that move while also not properly protecting the recipient.

I swear, most of the injuries (and just generally dangerous spots) seem to happen when they go to America, lately. Do you think the problem is just that the USA is all cursed land that innately reduces the safety of wrestlers, and wrestlers should just never go there?

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Mon Jul 09, 2018 7:06 pm

the phoenix plex is so stupid that i don't like even calling things a botch

with that said i don't think it can be called north america's fault on the grounds that this is the land of a thousand steenalizers

Iduno · Post by **Iduno** » Mon Jul 09, 2018 8:11 pm

I was watching Major League Wrestling at the bar, because the other choice was soccer. It looks like a low-effort version of WWF, and looking at Internet, it was maybe founded by former WWF stars.

Anyone else seen it, and/or have opinions?

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Mon Jul 09, 2018 9:03 pm

MLW is a small-time indie promotion turned popular podcast network turned small-time indie promotion. That puts their product in this weird spot where they're promoting indie wrestling to an audience that's just smarky enough to listen to podcasts but is also mainstream enough that most of those podcasts are about WWE. It's not bad or anything, but fundamentally it's an indie show so the mood is a grab bag that shifts with who's booked and things are more enjoyable if you're plugged in enough to recognize names and watch ala carte. For example, they're the sort of outfit that'll have Santana Garrett on one week and Shane Strickland on the next. That can be a bit of tonal shift given that the former is a pretty lady who doesn't make many mistakes but wrestles like she's a youtube clip set to 0.75 speed while the latter is a certifiable crazy person who may or may not be capable of feeling pain.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:17 am

Yesterday's G1 Press Conference was entertaining, but not as wild as last year - they learned their lesson and zoomed the camera in enough that you can't see everyone else's reactions. Which is a shame.

EVIL has dyed a streak of his hair the same red that Hiromu has, similar to when he had a broken orbital bone so Hiromu wore an EVIL shirt.

One of the translator ladies presumably had to keep a straight face while translating "He kicked me in the nuts". Well done, Juice.

And of course, the entirety of Bad Luck Fale's speech. "Fuck it".

And tonight the G1 Climax starts in all earnest.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Sat Jul 21, 2018 8:02 am

what's scarier? Minoru Suzuki or Ishii after someone is dumb enough to spit on him?

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:12 pm

impact has been pretty good for a while now

prepare for the end times

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Mon Jul 30, 2018 2:58 am

i get that kota ibushi might be the most athletic and creative wrestler on the njpw roster but ishii is still my g1 mvp until further notice and i'll fight anyone who says otherwise

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Mon Jul 30, 2018 7:48 am

Ishii vs Sabre might be my favourite match of the G1 so far. They put on some great strong style wrestling and hard hits, they struggled, they hurt each other. I want to see more of that. Also, neither one went SuperCena and just shrugged off previous injuries for the finish there. Not that I'm pointing fingers SPECIFICALLY AT IBUSHI AND TANAHASHI mind you.

That said, my favourite match ending was probably Red Shoes going "Fuck you, I didn't have to see what happened to know what happened, disqualified".

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Mon Jul 30, 2018 3:16 pm

Koumei wrote:Also, neither one went SuperCena and just shrugged off previous injuries for the finish there.

Ishii is a sneaky great seller for a guy whose gimmick is refusing to show weakness. He's stoic, so you can't really hurt him, but he's human so he can still be injured and beaten.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Mon Jul 30, 2018 3:35 pm

Exactly. You get the impression of a mortal human who is hurt but determined not to show it. He also shows a lot of character just in walking away and not giving speeches, he brings some refreshing... I don't no, minimalism?

Also, that Saka Otoshi by Suzuki to EVIL tonight was fucking tasty. He breaks that out so rarely that it actually qualifies as a special move, not a signature.

Mask_De_H · Post by **Mask_De_H** » Tue Jul 31, 2018 12:43 am

Koumei wrote:Ishii vs Sabre might be my favourite match of the G1 so far. They put on some great strong style wrestling and hard hits, they struggled, they hurt each other. I want to see more of that. Also, neither one went SuperCena and just shrugged off previous injuries for the finish there. Not that I'm pointing fingers SPECIFICALLY AT IBUSHI AND TANAHASHI mind you.

Tana is too injured to feel pain (also the ACE OF FOREVER) and Kota can't achieve orgasm without getting dropped on his head and neck. The no-selling makes it more real with them.

That said, my favourite match ending was probably Red Shoes going "Fuck you, I didn't have to see what happened to know what happened, disqualified".

He's spent so much time laissez-faire with interference, it's nice to see him actually DQ people.

Whipstitch · Post by **Whipstitch** » Tue Jul 31, 2018 5:57 am

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu Aug 02, 2018 12:11 pm

And that's that, nobody interesting is able to win the G1 this year. At least Suzuki is a free agent who wrestles all around the world and picks major titles up everywhere else.