The Gaming Den

They could. I'm using human proportions because that's a bit more satisfying and simpler. By in large, people want their fantasy races to have human-proportioned cocks

Prak wrote:As far as humans having sex with giants- Based on real human proportions, the average cloud giant has an 18" penis. That's huge, but... people in the real world, are into fisting and sex toys that are even larger.

True, but I was thinking of an excited giant crushing or tearing a smaller partner in a moment of passion. Also, pregnancy, is a giant-human fetus human sized or larger?

Giants and humans actually breeding is probably super rare, for your cited reasons. It probably involves humans being on top and male humans and female giants when it does happen, though.

An other thing to consider in terms of penis sizes: the fact that humans are the only mammal that lacks a penile bone (this is the obliquely referenced "missing rib" that Adam 'gave up' in Genesis; and early Hominids likely lost it early on in Hominid evolution). I'm not sure, but humans may also be one of the few animal species with penises that also lack a penile bone (I know that ducks have penises, and their structure and function leads me to believe they also lack a penile bone, but I'm fairly sure that not all birds have penises). Also lots of fish don't have penises as mammals do, using external fertilization of eggs.

Which results in human penises being all over the place in terms of penis size comparative with overall height; as well as being larger than proportionally sized primates of other species.

Which may mean that deciding if a creature species is in some way a genetic offshoot of humans, they also won't have a penile bone (and therefore have human-like variable/oversized penis sizes). Whereas species that aren't related to humans (or fish, or ducks) might have smaller penises, with penile bones.

It's likely that species that are the end result of successive generations of evolution have lost their penile bones; while "older" species that haven't undergone constant evolutionary mutations still have theirs. Then there's sharks, and snakes, who have two penile "claspers".

An other consideration about penile bones: in species that have them, erections aren't constrained by health or stress. If the creature wants to get erect, it pretty much just happens. While in species w/out penile bones, they have to be physically and psychologically healthy. Which is why species w/out penile bones don't re-develop them; lack of a penile bone becomes a species-wide reproductive filter on unhealthy individuals.

[Edit]I think this post contains more text about cocks than lines I've spent telling someone to suck a barrel of them.

I mean, that's all fair, but, outside of giving substantially non-human creatures a whole weird array of tackle, there's a trade off between "real world accuracy" and "fun."

If, say, merfolk, take their reproductive anatomy from fish, because their lower halves are those of fish, that means people who want to fuck them (which is not a small number) have to say "well, in my campaign..." and the only upshot is that jokes about merfolk externally fertilizing their eggs reflect in-game reality.

If merfolk get to have humanoid genitals, they both get to have weird penises, if desired, and people who want to fuck them in-game can. And while the "I want a game about fucking" crowd is admittedly small, it exists, and is what this work is targeted at. And people can still make in-game jokes about merfolk reproduction, because it's 120% believable that the average dude in Greyhawk knows more about fish reproduction than merfolk reproduction.

Well, Greyhawk the setting, not the city. The average dude in the city of Greyhawk might actually know about merfolk fucking. City of Adventure and all.

Judging__Eagle wrote:An other thing to consider in terms of penis sizes: the fact that humans are the only mammal that lacks a penile bone

Oh, good point.

Prak wrote:If, say, merfolk, take their reproductive anatomy from fish, because their lower halves are those of fish, that means people who want to fuck them (which is not a small number) have to say "well, in my campaign..." and the only upshot is that jokes about merfolk externally fertilizing their eggs reflect in-game reality.

If merfolk get to have humanoid genitals, they both get to have weird penises, if desired, and people who want to fuck them in-game can. And while the "I want a game about fucking" crowd is admittedly small, it exists, and is what this work is targeted at. And people can still make in-game jokes about merfolk reproduction, because it's 120% believable that the average dude in Greyhawk knows more about fish reproduction than merfolk reproduction.

Does it have to be humanoid? In the case of merfolk, for example, you could substitute dolphin for fish (close enough), and while they'd not have humanoid genitals, they are at least mammalian (close enough).

Dunno how'd you'd work driders, but then sexy driders might be a bit more niche anyway.

Prak wrote:Well, Greyhawk the setting, not the city. The average dude in the city of Greyhawk might actually know about merfolk fucking. City of Adventure and all.

Oh, there's a point. How well educated are most people about interspecies sex? Or even sex with their own kind? Even today, there's massive amounts of misinformation around, popular ideas from a mere hundred years ago look amazingly wrong.

Sorry, I was being a bit broad in my use of humanoid there. Mammalian is really more what I meant.

Driders are literally made by a god, so their genitals could be literally anything, or even nothing.

Sexual education in various settings is probably something I should cover, yeah...

Thaluikhain wrote:

Judging__Eagle wrote:An other thing to consider in terms of penis sizes: the fact that humans are the only mammal that lacks a penile bone

Oh, good point.

Plenty of other mammals with no actual bones in their boners:
- ungulates (hoofed mammals, like you know, horses and stuff)
-elephants (just the biggest land mammal)
-marsupials
-hyenas (gnolls say hi)
-sirenians
-cetaceans (dolphins, whales, just the biggest mammals animals that ever existed on Earth).

Really considering everybody in the gaming den telling others to go suck horse cock all the time I'm surprised they don't even know what an horse cock is.

EDIT: Also for the record the penile bone is only ever found in placental mammals, meaning it's a relatively recent evolution, and then discarded several times.

Oh, and species where the males have penile bones virtually always have a female equivalent for the clitoris.

You're right Maglag, I must have been thinking about how humans are the only primates w/out penile bones. It's been years since I found out about that, and I must have misattributed it to mammals.

Ok, I must admit I'm a bit rusty on my knowledge of animal penises.

Normally I'd probably not be embarrassed to write that.

maglag wrote:Really considering everybody in the gaming den telling others to go suck horse cock all the time I'm surprised they don't even know what an horse cock is.

So...if people would do what they are told we'd not have this problem?

Three new spells have been added to page one, each providing the means to pull off something from Oglaf-- Hone Form, Sympathetic Transmutation, and Tasha's Detachment.

Those spells obviously have sexual uses, but if they were included in a "normal" spell list, I don't think they'd look too obviously sexual.

Changing someone's appearance or planting an eye or ear somewhere could be quite useful. I would ask why you can't do that to yourself, or why can't you give people horns they can gore with, that sounds sorta cool.

Oh, with "Sympathetic Transmutation", should the caster be affected if the fake body part is damaged?

Hone Form works on the self, or it's intended to. Its target is "1 Living Creature," which includes the caster, assuming the caster is living. You can't give someone a gore attack because its a cantrip, and it's hard to justify it at a higher level where "I get a gore attack" is reasonable when the main use is "put abs on your cock."

On damage from Sympathetic Transmutation... that's not a bad idea.