4uccess: Races

[Judging__Eagle]

So, you've got this place, and you start, ja?

Then there's this ovver place, and you has to go to der, it's called 'da finsh, are yoo witt me on dis?

Den, you haff to go from de start, and den as fast as yoo can; you have to make up a bunch of races for a fantasy game.







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Races: What you should, and shouldn't, know

With an appropriatly high difficulty check, a character in 4th Edition D&D can find out that a Bear lives in a cave. With a higher check, they can learn that a Bear uses claws to fight with; as opposed to Psionic Powers, or Assault Rifles.

Fortunately, Humans are unable to be identified by this. Rather unfortunately. You don't know if a human has eyes or magical spear cannons on the front of its face, and moreover, you actually can't know.

So, fuck that all.

Hoomy

Uhm.... I'm a human, no, really, see? I'm not a clicky, or a scaly or a hoofy, or a mephy like you. Okay, fine, whatever "hoomy", are we gonna get drunk now? Awesome; say, is that your sister? Oh, your cousin? Yeah, she is pretty cute. I love you man.

Humans are... everywhere. They hang out in forests and become feral archers. They live on the plains and hunt bison and eat meat; they live by the water and fish; or they farm and eat bread.

It's assumed that people know what a human is, because they're everywhere. Like some sort of adaptive plauge.

Racial Benefit: Human get one Ability at first level, they can pick anything.

Hoofy

Listen you fucking troll, I'm crossing your mother-fucking bridge, and if you don't let me, I'm going to stomp your long-nosed, bulbous-headed ass over the hill. You've got the count of three. One...

Picture a minotaur. They're pretty cool, they're tough as an ox, and strong as a mule (that's a type of Hoofy too).

Hoofys live where ever you can think they would live. Minotaurs and Goatfolk live in the mountains, Equicephs live on the plains; miniature deer people live in the woods. No one tells a Moose person where they can, or can't go. Pretty much anything with hooves can be a Hoofy; note, this is real hooves, so no elephant or rhino Hoofys.

Racial Benefit: Hoof-Folk get [ability] at level 1

Scaly

Sssssoo, I hhhhear that you wanted to buy sssssome mangoooessssss. I have many to pickkk ffffrom. Only ttttwo copperssss a mango

Scalys are well, scaly. They're lizardfolk. However, they can look like anything, from a large Crocodilian, to a svelte little Skink. Iguana-men and Gila Monster Women with big ol' tails also exist. Many of them are forest and swamp dwellers. Some can swim, others just live by the ocean.

Racial Benefit: Scaled-Folk get [ability] at level 1

Clicky

Om nom nom nom nom. Honeeeey! Honeeeey! Honeeeey!

Butterflies that live in the meadows; bees and wasps that fight to control the forests (and drive out Scalys that like to eat their food), and other insectile creatures all make up Clickys.

Clickys tend to avoid Clickys of other variants than their own. Mostly because they can't breed with a Clicky who varies too much from themself. They have no problem hanging out with other races though.

Racial Benefit: Insectile Fold get [Fly] or [Tough] at level 1, based on whether their Insect type has wings or not.

Mephy

Well... there's my cousin Frankie he's a water mephy, you know makes jokes and drinks fish... or was that drinks like a fish? and my cousin Zaey, she's a Steam mephy, but her mom was a Fire Mephy... so... yeah, you know. What kind of Mephy are you? I've never seen a Mephy with such a pretty fur coat, and nice hooves like you.... OOOOH! you're a Hoofy Mephy! That's awesome! Let's go drinking!

Mephits are... well, they're actually really good company. They're a bit dim, but they're friendly as hell, and they all have some sort of useful talent. They can build stuff. Any stuff. Plus, as long as they have actual materials, it will last more than a few minutes.

Racial Benefit: Mephits of all kinds have the [Creation] ability

[Judging__Eagle]

Where do people live?

Depends on what they are.

Plains, Forests, Mountains, Watersides, Water are all locations that can have a mix of several races.

Forests worth of Foes

In the forest Bees, and Wasps, Ants, Termites, Moose, Deer, Water Mephs, Wood Mephs, Earth and Stone Mephs all live there.

In tropical regions, you see no Moose, but you will instead see a mix of Scalys.

Deserts

Ants, Scalys, Humans, Dust Mephs, Fire Mephs, Salt Mephs, and sometimes a Water Meph looking to make their fortune among the dunes.

Watersides

Water
Water Mephs; these often work for all sorts of underwater races like Sea Iguanas, or Deep Komodos.

Mountains

Plains

[Judging__Eagle]

Examples of each Race:

Humans: Uh... look in a mirror; look at a history book.


Humans live everywhere; and can run the gamut from brain-eating nomadic cannibals (neolithic humans), to agriculutural philosophers to whom sacrifice of one's own life is not a big deal (ancient Japan).

They're some of the best, and worst races in the setting.

[Judging__Eagle]

Hoofys.... some people don't like the idea. This is my thought of what they are.

Note: Hoofys are meant to be a Substitute for Polar Bears (the Dorf Substitute); not Polar Bears with hands; just, intelligent polar bears. That's a bit of a problem, and Minotaurs are a lot easier to explain to people.

I'm gonna go and see if the 4uccess races idea is tractionable or not.

It is, but you need to take out the animal head people.

Like... fast.

Why?

They're better than the other option, which was Polar Bears.

And... it's not really animal-headed people; it's more like human-torsoed animals. Specifically, and only critters with hooves.

Ibixian

Yakfolk

Goatboy

Equiceph

And of course, the archetype:

[Judging__Eagle]

Scalys:

I need to get some Lizard folk pics for this.

[Judging__Eagle]

Clickys: Ditto Scalys

[Judging__Eagle]

Mephys: Ditto

[JonSetanta]

Why?

They're better than the other option, which was Polar Bears.

And... it's not really animal-headed people; it's more like human-torsoed animals. Specifically, and only critters with hooves.

Click at risk.

It comes to one issue;

SEX

Unless you're flirting with beastiality, that's not a very nice thing to see in an RPG setting, sticking horse-head things in a setting where (most assuredly) intelligent, language-using, tool-wielding humanoids are sexing each other up if they look even remotely like each other. The issue was skirted in TNE but remains; humanoids will try to breed with anything that looks like themselves.

The dilemma isn't even a potential player-specific problem. There's an incredible likelihood that you'd have to explain the definition of 'species' at some point, given how a goat-man or horse-man will attempt to breed with a real quadruped, or their origin comes in to question.
The very presence of something startlingly humanoid without humanoid origin spits on evolution. No, it curbstomps evolution.
You take a nosedive straight in to the pool of creationism.

Unless you're knee-deep in Narnia-like handwavium and the air is awash with magic , sticking quadruped parts on a humanoid torso gives you physically impractical configuration that would be unfit for two or four legs.
90% animal people thrive only in high-magic creationism settings. There's really no other way to explain it apart from genetic engineering or flesh grafts.

---

I wouldn't start this tirade up without suggesting compromise though:
There is a way to do animal people soundly, and it's called "Thundercats furry" for one leaning more to humanoid (almost entirely, as it's only a skin change).

A synonym might be "Doctor Moreau furry" if leaning more to animal, such as the 3e Minotaur you linked to earlier.
The term offends some furfans but I suppose that's inevitable if they really, truly, love the animal heads.
They go off to play horny Dragonborn claiming to "make some half-dragons" regardless and I don't really care at that point, as long as it's not in a session with me (which it has been, a few times, even just as a joke.. although one guy was serious that's how it works)

In the process of racial design you stick subtle animalistic features and distortions to bone structure on an otherwise mostly humanoid frame, change the ears, slap a skin pattern on, and voila...
Somewhere between 80 to 90% humanoid.
The problem of presenting more humans-in-funny-suits can be avoided by changing behavior; this factor may be more in part with Star Trek's issue of an entire galaxy speaking English and behaving like professional actors, but once the inner workings of animal-people are altered.... there isn't much connection to a human mind if something disregards all social convention and eats babies.

Another solution is shapeshifters, be they natural (demonic, feylike, aberration) or biological (lycanthrope), which usually exist in high-magic setting unless one wishes to explain how a virus or other infection allows bone and muscle reconfiguration within seconds.
Regardless of source, shapeshifters would be able to change between animal and humanoid form in varied degrees to both GM and player preference on an individual basis. Debates between furry/non-fur would be a moot point given how shape would then be left to personal preference.
Think organic Beast Wars but with a smoother shift between extremes rather than binary (all beast to all humanoid).
Game mechanics-wise, a character would swap out their racial traits between humanoid or non as they see fit, rather than all at once.

Personally I'd go with the latter option of shapeshifter. Multiple outlooks on 'animal people' can be satisfied with that.
Regardless, I'm not leading a campaign against this kind of thing and wouldn't give further though if you pursued your own design, it only mildly bothers me on the matter of working out logistics concerning an equine-head completely mangling all spoken language, or falling passionately in love with an elf.
And... sexing said elf up.

[Judging__Eagle]

The option that I'm going for is this;

"you can only form a babby of your own, or the other parent's, type"

Even then, almost nothing can cross breed.

Pretty much with the exception of Mehpys, which just look like funny and small humans with wings; none of the other races are able to get it on with an other race.

The "evolution" of how this happened will probably take some figuring.

The idea of "mixing" parent species is one that I don't want to work.

If you have a Moose and an Elk; the children are not Moose-Elks; they're either Moose or Elks, or stillborn, or miscarriages.

Likewise if you have a Komodo Dragon and an Iguana; the eggs in the clutch that are layed will be a mix of Komodo Dragons, or Iguanas, or eggs that didn't take.

The "idea" here is more of 'breeds' for things like Scalys and Hoofys.

Clickys are a collection of "races" that can 'sometimes' breed; if they had a common enough ancestor; so Ants and Wasps can breed, as can Termites and Cockroaches; since they have similarly enough common ancestors.

Mephys are an exception, and are a -magical- race of people that can magically create anything and make it permanent if they have an actual material to work with.

An Air Mephy can make a column of air that always blows in one direction; and an Earth Mephy can build a fortress of earth, or dig a hole in the ground.

When they breed, their children are one of the races of the two parents. Mephys are seriously the only things that can breed with any race, and they only do so b/c of magic.

The reasons for why other races don't inter-breed is probably one of pheremones. An aroused human scares a Hoofy, or nauseates a Scaly; making such mating or even relationships impossible. Likewise Hoofys and Scalies don't like the smell of each other when they're aroused; Scalys being sickened by a Hoofy in rut/estrus, and Hoofys seeing red/going berzerk if a Scaly gives off breeding pheremones in close quarters.

Clickys can't breed with the other races b/c of complete incompatibility of both physionomy and scents. Also, Praying Mantis ladies will seriously eat you while mating with their partners, so people tend to avoid that part of the Insectile races.

One further idea for Mephys is that they are seriously hemaphrodites and unless they want to show what gender they want to be, have groins as smooth as a Ken or Barbie doll.

I said earlier that mixing breeds has a chance for failure, I'd also like for keeping within your breed increases your chance for success. The result is that many creatures will try to avoid relationships with any of the other species, and indeed with most other breeds within their own species; with the exception of a Mephy, b/c they're both compatible with any creature, and there's usually a pretty low chance of failure.

The only reason that Mephys haven't out-bred everyone is that the chance of a Mehpy being born with an other race as the parent are low (let's assume almost 0% chance of a mephy being born if a Mephy breeds with an other race). One interesting result of this would be that even if there's a single Moose-lady in a forest, it's not like she has to worry about never finding a mate, if she finds a Mephy, they could raise a family of Moose Hoofys.

I'm also thinking that a turned on Mephy can change their physical height, which means that even if they're a [Small] race, that doesn't limit who their partners can be.

I never thought that I'd ever be talking about this ever in a post, but, I guess there are my thoughts on this.

[Draco_Argentum]

Sigma, you're a twit.

A) Horse people is significantly more sane than Dragons from an evolutionary perspective.

B) Humans manage to be evolved monkeys in reality without having hot monkey sex all the time. There also aren't human chimp hybrids running around the place out side of cheapshots at Bush.

You're making up an issue where there isn't one.

[Josh_Kablack]

The "evolution" of how this happened will probably take some figuring.

Option 1: In the days of yore, when the world was young, the gods made each of the races from the primal chaos/clay/water/deep/ etc.

Option 2: In the days of yore, each of the gods had an animal that they kept as a pet: Equus the Horse, Minos the Bull, Vespoi the Wasp, Hummus the Monkey, etc etc. These pets sampled of the Sacred Ambrosia / Celestial Stars / Air of Olympus / Touch of the gods and thereby gained knowledge of speech, song, fire, making and war. They were the ancestors of all the races.
The dark gods/demons also kept pets and those were the ancestors of monsters such as the Centaur, Chimera, Sphinx, Basilisk, etc.

Option 3: Back in the time of misty myths, in The First war, the ancient Meph Cooks used dark and secret magics to twist the animals of creation into weapons of war. Owls were given the claws of the bear, spiders were grown to the size of a house, goats lions and serpents were fused into single creatures - but these engines of brute destruction were not enough to win the war. And the Ancient wizards could not do more without help. So they began to create servants who could wield magics themselves. Apprentices were wrought from the horse, the goat, the monkey, the ant, the lizard and the snake to help the Mephys in the magic they used to war upon each other. In time, these servants equaled their creators and they are the ancestors of our races.

Option 4: Nobody knows and few care. Discussions of the origin of species have nothing to do with modern evolutionary biology, but rather tend to look like this:
Q: Where did your people come from?
A: The Kingdom of Aquilonia before it was subjugated by the legions of the Mad Prophet and one day the new Aquilonius will be born under an oak tree and come to lead us to reclaim our land.
Q: But why do you have hooves?
A To run swift upon the stony shores
Q: And the horns?
A: They prove that one is a worthy of a mate.
Q: But how did your people come about?
A: The tribes were united under the first Aquilonius who led us to throw off the yoke of the Argivian empire under his oak leaf banner.

[Josh_Kablack]

But since Sigma is apparently scared of settings based on greek myth, and I have a recent fixation on entomology in RPGs here goes:

Also, Praying Mantis ladies will seriously eat you while mating with their partners, so people tend to avoid that part of the Insectile races.

As for mating among clickies you have a number of very non-mammalian paradigms:

1. There's the sexual cannibalism of the Praying Mantis and Black Widow. Extrapolating this to anthro-mantis races makes mating a scary prospect even for the correct mate and a risk with no potential payoff of progeny for incompatible species.
   For the lusty Hoomy adventurer, getting it on with a mantis or widow clicky requires extensive and specialized disguise/magic/trickery and a notable risk of death. Those doing it probably also enjoy bungee jumping and Russian roulette as the primary thrill would come from surviving the risk.
2. There's the worker-drone-queen hive paradigm of ants and bees. Extrapolating this to anthro-bee races makes mating irrelevant for most individuals within the species and probably cataclysmic to the hive as a whole for the queen/drone castses to attempt mating outside of the species.
   For the lusty Hoomy adventurer, getting it on with a hive clicky would involve getting past all the workers/warriors to a receptive queen, beating out the other drones and success would likely result in a generation of unfertilized eggs and death of the hive. On the other hand, it might be possible for a lusty Hoomy wench to pry loose a short-lived drone and with the right pheromones/magic change his purpose from "mate with queen for a week then die" to "mate with you for a week then die" without overly damaging the hive. If you think your group would be into it you could do some crazy D&D bug-people SVU style adventure around this sort of thing.
3. There's the widespread endoparasitism (occasionally tinged with freaky mind control) of various wasps. Extrapolating this to anthro-pompilidae races is enough to make you understand why clickies avoid other types of clickies. This really is where Ridley Scott cribbed the Alien's reproductive method from and it shook Darwin's faith in God.
   For the lusty Hoomy adventurer, getting it on with a parasitoid wasp-style clicky is probably the easiest of the bunch, as doubtless there would be at least one subtype that uses Hoomies as a host. She might even have chemicals or adaptive neurosurgery to make you enjoy it. But if she seems willing, it's really because you're about to end up paralyzed for weeks while her larvae eat you from the inside out.
4. There's the viviparous cyclical parthenogenesis of the aphid with telescoping generatrions that changes to oviparous sexual reproduction in response to temperature changes. Extrapolating this to anthro-aphid races yields a strange pseudo-amazon society. For like 40 generarations the race is entirely female, and without mating each female produces a number of clonal daughters based on her status (ie food supply) starting during fetal development. Then there is one generation that is both male and female, but severely deformed, lacking essential organs - the individuals in this generation mate and lay eggs which survive the harsh time and hatch when things get better.
   For the lusty Hoomy adventurer, getting it on with an aphid-style clicky is just going nowhere. Most of the time they are not even capable of sex, and those who are capable of sex are deformed as a warning of the coming apocolypse.

Oh yeah, pics:

[Judging__Eagle]

Josh.... that's really good. Thanks a lot.

Honestly, this is really why I keep coming to this site, stuff like that.

[TarkisFlux]

Shit Josh, that's awesome. Sigged.

[Lago PARANOIA]

Why should there be Mephys at all?

And why is there no flying or water-dwelling race?

[Meikle641]

While I like where this thread is going, I do have to say one thing: the cutesy names really grate on me. Could just be me, but yeah. Reminds me of "Dwagons" and shit from Erfworld.

[Judging__Eagle]

Everything is named that way because that's the racist term that everyone calls OTHER races. You would be a horrifically close-minded xenophobe to actually call an Ant-warrior a "clicky" to her face; and probably you'd be a bit stupid too, since she'd crush you with her jaws, and the Moose-man, and Iguan-girl wouldn't bat an eyelash at what she did. Most other humans whould shrug at your foolishness for using such a term.

Everyone calls the other races what the Mephys call them, and Mephys both don't know better, and no one wants to correct people that are actually very willing to please. Mephys get away with a lot. However, they also just make professional grade magical tools and give them away for snacks or sex or just to have someone be friendly with them.

They're, horny, friendly, idiot-savants with the equivalent of nano-assemblers in their fingertips. You'd actually be really cruel to want to get angry at someone that just wanted to make you a knife out of solid fire, or build you a solid stone house, because they liked your eye colour.

One way of thinking about Mephys, is like reverse Kender. They don't steal from anyone, and instead are trying to shove stuff into your pockets. They think that distracting a human, and then placing a set of cutlery that they made into their backpack is fun. It's... actually really hard to get angry at someone who does that, let alone a whole race who does that.

If you're a Donkey-girl or a Gila Monster-guy, you probably learned about humans, from a Mephy. You actually didn't know that you're being racist the whole time when you refer to the "Hoomys over in Greyshore Fortress."

Until someone informs you otherwise that using those words is actually highly offensive to that race. At which point it's now a game of "How do you tell a good [Race] joke? Look over both shoulders first."

Except for Mephys. They don't take offense to anything that isn't directly an insult or harmful to them. In fact, Mephys probably are the best recounters of Mephy jokes.

Clickys and Mephys are the air races. At least the ones that can fly, or care about living on/in clouds. Other races can live on clouds if they flew up there, and started a family with native Air and Cloud Mephys, or a Water Mephy that decided to visit.

Scalys and Mephys are the water races.

The cutesy names are well... they're meant to be a joke, as well as bind the names of the races with a theme that makes them easier to remember. A lot of the AWoD stuff about "Conceptual Space" and "Ease of Learning" is sticking to me, even if not very well; so I want to try and use it whenever possible.

I'll bet that your hating the names has probably made you remember them better. That was the joke, I'm glad that you got it.

[Meikle641]

Not really, no. And it's not much of a joke either.

[Lago PARANOIA]

They're, horny, friendly, idiot-savants with the equivalent of nano-assemblers in their fingertips. You'd actually be really cruel to want to get angry at someone that just wanted to make you a knife out of solid fire, or build you a solid stone house, because they liked your eye colour.

One way of thinking about Mephys, is like reverse Kender. They don't steal from anyone, and instead are trying to shove stuff into your pockets. They think that distracting a human, and then placing a set of cutlery that they made into their backpack is fun. It's... actually really hard to get angry at someone who does that, let alone a whole race who does that.

I think this thread has about run it's course.

When you're trying to defend a deliberately annoying race with 'you wouldn't hurt someone so cute, would you' while assigning them an irritating baby name, you need to pack it in and give up.

It didn't work for Neelix and it's certainly not going to work for you.

[Judging__Eagle]

The joke isn't the names in an of themselves. It's the fact that I chose annoying names. Any reaction is going to have you remembering this, more than no reaction will. ;3

Sorry that I'm being a bastard about it though.

Lago, sorry, didn't see your post. I'll have to re-think, based on what you're saying, and I'm sort of distracted with something else right now. I'll get backt to this tomorrow.

[Koumei]

To be fair, the Mephits are there based on me putting my foot down. This whole thing started with me saying that Tolkien can go eat a barrel of cocks, and I wish D&D could be wiped free of his taint. So I then declared what the new races should be.

"Humans, because we're familiar with them. Elfs get replaced with BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES, or bee-people, because those are at least kind of cool and scare me, the strong green race shall be Lizardmen because they are fucking awesome. Orks used to fight Elfs, now lizards fight bees: lizards eat bugs (when there are no rodents or birds). And dorfs get replaced with POLAR BEARS, FUCK YEAH!"

JE then pointed out that there should be a race that lives in mountains, and I conceded that bears don't have hands and can't speak, which is a problem. Also, no-one would know what they are, due to Bear Lore. So we agreed on minotaurs and their ilk.

Then for the small race, Mephits appeared in my head, and I think they're awesome so I put my foot down, and mephits would be the final race, full stop, no fuck you.

At this time I was speaking in general terms, how it would be better for games, or possibly the idea of one day running a game with those as the sentient races that don't eat people. I wasn't specifically thinking -4E*

*We're making all the opposite design choices, right? So it's -4

[Josh_Kablack]

Personally I don't find "hoofy" any more or less silly or annoying as a racial name than "moon elf", "tallfellow", "longtooth shifter" or many other established D&D races.

This is a game about escapist fantasy, which frequently boils down to trying to imagine radically different settings, peoples and cultures in ways that make them believable.

Now I have a hard time buying JE's defense of why other races would be accepting of the Mephits he described and see other races exhibiting primarily paranoia and exploitation as the result of behaviors he has ascribed to them rather than the acceptance he assumes:

and Mephys both don't know better, and no one wants to correct people that are actually very willing to please. Mephys get away with a lot. However, they also just make professional grade magical tools and give them away for snacks or sex or just to have someone be friendly with them.

They're, horny, friendly, idiot-savants with the equivalent of nano-assemblers in their fingertips. You'd actually be really cruel to want to get angry at someone that just wanted to make you a knife out of solid fire, or build you a solid stone house, because they liked your eye colour

Well I don't know what nirvana you're leaving in, but in my reality, most folks actually are really cruel, and just try to rationalize it. So I would assume that even in a radically different fantasy setting, most folks would still be really cruel.

So on the individual level, relations with Mephys play out something like: "that cute magical girl you slept with last week, well she's now sleeping with that minotaur that's been hunting you across the plains, and while that crystal rose she gave you was sweet, she's made him a sword of fire. Oh and by the way she may also be a he now."

On the city/state/kingdom level this plays out as "they are making horrible weapons for our enemies, they do not respect our sacred family institutions, and you can't trust that the trinkets they leave around won't explode. Report any mephies to the watch immediately. It's for your own protection."

But despite the difference in conception I do not see them as an unplayable, uninteresting or necessarily disruptive race in either presentation

[ubernoob]

Personally I don't find "hoofy" any more or less silly or annoying as a racial name than "moon elf", "tallfellow", "longtooth shifter" or many other established D&D races.

I find them catchy and descriptive as well. The last tabletop star wars game I had, I never called an Ewok an Ewok. I called them "Little Teddy Bears" and wookies were "big teddy bears". It was much more fun with cuter names IMO.

[JonSetanta]

It didn't work for Neelix and it's certainly not going to work for you.

Well he did lose a lung at one point. The doctor shut him up for whining in panic.
That ain't cute.

Neither is Tuvix.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuvix

Personality ploys seem more of a trait concerning the individual than the race.
That's the blessing and curse of sapient, "fully conscious", beings.


Aside, I'm all in favor of "-4e", although if you really want complete thematic reversal you'd have dice rolls become lower-is-better and class archetypes would actually differentiate.

[Judging__Eagle]

Hmm.

Well, there are no classes, and people play free-formly built "adventurers".

Lower Dice rolls is an idea.

People roll a small variable dice (d6, d3, w/e); and only on a Tie is your Level taken into account? So the higher level character wins, but only on a Tie.

Comparing d6 or d3 rolls would make that more possible.

That would 'even up' fights a bit more. Even with large disparities in people who are fighting, and would remove 'glass cannon' issues.