Desire and the Dead IC

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Jan 19, 2010 11:32 pm

"Oh not quite... even a succubus has standards... and I'm only part anyway..." she leans back in her chair, "though they are the parts that count... and I'm sure the Erinyes, and pleasure devil, and lilitu members of my family helped as well." she smirks and looks at Cartwell and Peter, "Don't worry, neither of you'll ever wake up in the middle of the night and find my face above you."

Nicklance · Post by **Nicklance** » Tue Jan 19, 2010 11:45 pm

"And finally...a rose amongst thorns..." purrs the Green Warden at the approach of the 'elven maiden'.

"I hope you remember that I have a very keen sense of smell m'lady Alice, and yes, a pleasure to meet you again." continues the Knight of the Jungle.

Dana gives a swift glance at Needleteeth's insulting gesture, knowing that payback can be swifter than a cobra's strike.

Surveying the table, the banter tossed about, the Green Warden clears her throat audibly. "Perhaps its time to earn our keep?"

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 12:41 am

The elven maiden's voice suddenly changes, becoming far more intelligent-sounding and far less effeminate.

"You really are no fun. I've had people going for hours on that disguise..."

With these words, Alice turns to Bloody Thorn.

"Your reputation precedes you, Knight-Errant. How Master Dalanar let you out of his sight, I truly do not know. You broke how many limbs that time?"

Nicklance · Post by **Nicklance** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 1:14 am

"I can make up for that loss of fun later my pretty flower..you at the least have a far better scent than the stench over there" offers the bemused Green Warden wrinkling her nose at Needleteeth's direction.

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 1:20 am

Turning back to Dana, Alice looks at her half-seriously.

"I'll deal with you later. Right now, I'm trying to establish how this Knight-Errant ended up away from the fortress. Again."

Mask_De_H · Post by **Mask_De_H** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:05 am

BT's eyes light up at the mention of his full name. "That depends on whether we consider dangly bits as third legs." As he looks over, his expression of smug satisfaction turns to abject horror.

"Y-you bitch!" he yelps, nearly pitching himself arse over tit out of his chair. "How did you find me, no, better question. Is that old fart Dalanar hard of hearing or are you simply a bleeding berk? I told all of you, I'll only return after I've made it in the art world. Or killed 100 men. Either works."

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:32 am

Alice, despite her rather prostitutional look, does not seem bothered by this.

"Now now, Knight Errant, there is absolutely no need to compare me to a female dog. In fact, many men at the Order consider me quite the beauty."

She smiles at this, briefly, before becoming very serious again.

"You don't exactly make yourself scarce. Finding you wasn't all that hard. It's just that several Knights-Errant stated quite openly that, once their legs and arms healed, they wanted words with you. Of the sort that tend to end in more limbs being broken. Naturally, Master Dalanar was concerned, as you show considerable potential mixed with an equal lack of restraint."

Turning to Akarchin, Alice folds her arms, looking somewhat displeased.

"And you're only encouraging him."

Judging__Eagle · Post by **Judging__Eagle** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 3:23 am

"Knew a bitch once. Phenomenal woman. Jaws that could crack an troll's shin, and blood that tasted like meat and honey. Had a face, body, like a butcher's block, tough as oak, soaked in blood, and hacked and smashed by everything from slaver berks from a prime to fiends, to me.

Don't call a person a bitch unless they've earned that title, because, you r'ally need to crack a lot of to earn that title."

He looked up from the table, and at the people there.

He pointed at the blond who was upset at the younger man.

"She's possibly anything, but she's no where near being a bitch. Looks like ... not enough fighting, or well... yeah, not enough fighting to start..."

He trailed off, and looked upwards a moment and grinned. Then leaned his left elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand, the fingers tracing the scars along his cheek. His right hand dug into his cloak and pulled out a foot long 'spike'; a nail, only more of round metal bar, than a nail at this scale; and set the spike on the table. His right hand rested on the spike as he went back to daydreaming.

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 3:27 am

Hearing Needleteeth's reply, Alice's eyes narrow, and she instantly stares at him, hard.

"So what did you mean by 'not enough fighting', midget?"

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 3:51 am

The Feral jumps backward out of the chair as it clatters to the ground, and lands on the table behind where he was sitting. Pretty Colors shoot out.

Everyone at the table not immune to mind affecting stuff, make a DC 16 Will save or shut the hell up because you are stunned.

Akula · Post by **Akula** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 4:09 am

Throughout the growing confrontation, that the immensely obvious elven girl seemed to have set off, Cartwell has been moving away from the group. When the crazy animal man leaps into action, Cartwell seems to simply fade from existence.

Avoraciopoctules

10ft Teleport outside the tavern.

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 4:48 am

Will save (1d20+8=19)
Swift: Activate soulmelds(gain large size and activate blades)
Free: 5' step to threaten Needleteeth.
Full: Left hand knock Needleteeth to the ground with the Pin maneuver(No AoO due to having longer reach), Right hand, tie him up with rope, bite attack his torso.
Touch attack, grapple check (1d20+8=28, 1d20+16=25)
Attack, damage (1d20+2=3, 1d8+2=10)
Since he ends the round controlling the grapple, Needleteeth takes unarmed damage anyways.
Bite damage (1d8+5=6)

Lord Peter flies into a rage at Needleteeth's words, "You cold son of a bitch," and leaps directly on top with him hog tying him in one smooth motion.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 4:55 am

{Akula points out that summoning 2 soulblades and activating soulmelds would not be a single swift action.}

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 4:58 am

Avoraciopoctules wrote:{Akula points out that summoning 2 soulblades and activating soulmelds would not be a single swift action.}

I didn't use a single one, so it really doesn't matter.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 5:01 am

{Swift Action to activate any or all of them.} So since he didn't use the Soulblade, that can wait till next round.

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 5:07 am

Will save result of 11, so I'm a vegetable.

Alice stands there, looking dazedly at what's happening in front of her, a stupid smile on her face.

Nicklance · Post by **Nicklance** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 5:13 am

Will save fail

"Sonnova..."

Perhaps it was carelessness, or perhaps it was intentional. Dana slumps over the table stunned as the flash of colors fry her brains for a moment with its pretty colors.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 5:19 am

{had a post responding to some of Needleteeth's questions but it's pretty minor, and also somewhat outdated. Sblocked below.

Judging__Eagle wrote:He raised an eyebrow at what the person placing his order had said.

Who are the Soloth. Hiders. Sneaks. Cut up? Rotted eyes? Needleteeth not know. Where is it?

It was a shot in the dark. Funny enough, an actual shot in the dark would have been easier for the rouge. All he'd have to do would be to take out the compact of red face powder, and throw it through the darkness.

"Whoo de' 'uck's a Soloth?I ain't never heard of 'im.[/i]." He asked the man who placed the order.

He waited for the answer.

"Soloth's when a cutter pops in or out of someplace without anyone seeing how. Like when one of the fiends teleports."

Judging__Eagle wrote: "Is killing forbidden though? I can't abide killers. Not one bit."

"This is the Hive. We don't want you bashers to put anyone in the dead-book, but it's also pretty obvious that doing that might be unavoidable."

Judging__Eagle wrote:"Also... I can't identify this carne. It's not a crusty, crunchy- organ filled bat; it's not little lean muscles like rat, not flavour-void poultry-muscle, or slice-ripping fowl, it's not the musky stink of goat, or the man-stink of pig; certainly not grass, or grain-beef. It's not even skunk, or badger, or weasel, nor dog or fox or wolf. I know it's not fish, or anything ..... is it from the sea?"

"Ah, so you want to know the secret of the Mystery Meat Gumbo? A most insidious truth, I'm sure. It varies from week to week. I'll tell you this much; it's only around a quarter rat."

}

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 5:38 am

As tension builds between the adventurers, the trickle of people leaving the tavern grows to a stream, then erupts into a flood when the nameless glowing man sprays rainbow all over the Voices and their other guests. Shouts of "Sodding Barmies!" can be faintly heard outside.

Grum and Xero shriek and clutch at their eyes. Silent Brom shuts his right before he is hit. As he rises from his seat, he draws a curved sword from somewhere near his waist with his right hand and interposes it between his two fellow Voices and the adventurers. The other hand is firmly pressed over his mouth. He has broken into a coughing fit that has him halfway to doubled-over, blood seeping from between his fingers. But his eyes are cold as he regards the tableau before him, gradually rising back into his defensive stance.

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 5:45 am

Shaking the colours out of her eyes and the weird buzzing from her head, Alice quickly assumes a peaceful pose, both her arms raised, hands open.

"Now, there really is no need for this! We're not here to kill each other."

Her voice, commanding, yet gentle, fills the tavern.

Gonna make a Diplomacy check to try and calm folks down. Result of 27.

Nicklance · Post by **Nicklance** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 5:46 am

Getting up from the table in a quickly-removed haze. Dana looks over at Lord Peter hogtying the clueless berk up and goes over with a growl from her throat.

"Alright you two, take this outside and don't walk back in until whatever little vendetta between you two is over. Alice, help me haul this two men out to the back."

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 5:52 am

Mister_Sinister wrote:Shaking the colours out of her eyes and the weird buzzing from her head, Alice quickly assumes a peaceful pose, both her arms raised, hands open.

"Now, there really is no need for this! We're not here to kill each other."

Her voice, commanding, yet gentle, fills the tavern.

The handful of Dustmen and couple of people without such attire that remain towards the edges of the tavern, some holding weapons of various kinds, are all still. Nobody looks about to put a knife into anyone else's back in the next few seconds.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:03 am

Will save: 7+4=11

Akarchin slumps over her hand for a moment, stunned by the light, when it's shaken off she looks to the impromptu brawl and decides to stay out of it.

Judging__Eagle · Post by **Judging__Eagle** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:05 am

Will: 1d20 + 1? 3? w/e, the d20srd roller gave me a nat 19, so I'm happy about that.

Insults didn't seem to phase him; but those blasting sparks in his head did.

"Shit! Get down! We're ambushed!"

Was all he could think and say, before he could figure out what was going on, and the slow realization that he was tangled up by someone with spiked armour.

Oh, figures. Lessee who it is

"Oh... hmm. I wish I was a son of a bitch... I really do." he was speaking almost wistfully. Despite the fact that someone was trying to grapple with him. He gently patted the man's armour and said.

"Good stock-bleagh" and coughed out some blood.

He took a ragged breath and regained his composure, holding himself against the man grappling him, he didn't want to struggle, not with blades in him at least.

"We should probably stop doing this. The last time I did this, was when I first met my bitch, and she near gutted me then, and I .... we had to wait, a while, before she was able to walk. Also, I'm not a big fan of blokes, their temperaments don't suit me most of the time. At least at this close. Yur' nae blood of mine, then agiin... "

Heturned his head aside and coughed out more blood.

"... you could be.

So, will you kindly let me go, because I really don't feel like getting in bed with you before half a turn is up.

Oh..." he coughed again

"and you could be a bitch, fight like one anyway. A man-bitch. Oh, tha'd be great.

and, that blond. I told you she was no bitch. Not enough figthin'. Now get off you lug, I'm like a stuck pig here. I'd hate to have to die too often before I get better again. My boss, and my bitch would be sad, and Needleteeth don't like people being sad no more."

He winced for a second as the pain caught up with him. No, just muscles and a scratch into his lung. Nothing else was injured, yet. He coughed again.

{no actions, just holding on, don't want to get ripped up more than necessary

{Srsly, this is exactly how this character, and the other one I'm talking about actually met. Grappling to the death, Needleteeth was higher level at the time, and his opponent wasn't grapple-specced, but the armour spikes were there, and one of them bleeding out, while the other was crippled. In a low magic setting, being carried on the back of an other is both funny, and interesting.

No offense Uber, but, I, and Needleteeth, don't usually swing that way.

Also, punctuating, and timing a coughing character's dialog with your own coughs is interesting.}

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:18 am

Lord Peter takes the accusation of sodomy fairly well all told. Normally he'd do more than silence a fool that made such an insult on his person. After Needleteeth's head rolls off his shoulders, Lord Peter wipes the blood off his hands and remarks, "Some people should really learn when to shut their mouths."

Swift action conjure a soulblade, full round coup de grace (Needleteeth is already hogtied, so helpless) two handing and power attacking for three (2d8+7 str +1 magic+6 PA)*2=4d8+28 for beheading with no dice.

To the Voices, Lord Peter says, "I'll clean up the mess and pay for the table once we finish talking. Where were we?"