Desire and the Dead IC

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:28 am

Xero and Grum have backed up. Brom stands perhaps a few steps closer and around the edge of the table. He sways faintly, his face ashen. Xero is shivering in place. Bald Grum speaks.

"You knights were sodding off. If we wanted the Harmonium, we'd ask for them. I doubt that this is the kind of protection that we want."

One of the Dustmen begins to laugh. It is a hollow, strangely reverberating sound. "Lumping them all together..."

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:34 am

The laughing Dustman steps closer, throwing back his hood to reveal a skull with green lights blazing in the sockets. "I want his body. The loquacious one."

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:39 am

Lord Peter just smiles. He replies a simple, "You can have the body if you wish. Consider this a demonstration of competence if makes things easier to handle."

Akula · Post by **Akula** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:41 am

Cartwell and three vaguely wolf-like plant things burst back into the room. He holds in his hand a collection of vines covered in razor leaves. They seem to be working their way up his arm, but are not getting far. Cartwell takes in the scene with icy eyes. He speaks, first to the knights, Yes, pike it. Then to Silent Brom, I'll handle them. Please back down, you know you aren't well enough for this.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:42 am

Akarchin watches the show, smirking, "Sure thing, skully, can I have his head? I can keep stuff in it..." she says, "Is everyone done measuring their tonkers yet? Can we clean off the bar and get back to business?" she pulls a sharp scalpel from the bag on her waist and starts cleaning her nails, "It was fun for a bit, but now I'm kind of bored, even with the bloodshed... so either let's get this taken care of, or I'll find some one to help me with all this excitement that's slowly slipping from my mind and down to other parts."

Nicklance · Post by **Nicklance** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:46 am

Dana raises an eyebrow at Cartwell and gestures towards an empty chair.

"Please join us."

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:47 am

"A day when one almost wants to put off True Death to enjoy false life."

The undead Dustman strides up to Needleteeth's body and hefts it up. He then pulls a glove off his bony hand and somehow.. stuffs the entire cadaver into it.

"I wonder whether this berk will be able to afford it. Eh."

He then strides out, faintly inclining his head to the masses of vegetation piling in.

{Kanbei moment}

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:49 am

Silent Brom nods to Cartwell and returns to his seat with relief. The other Voices come back and sit on either side of him. Neither speaks for the moment.

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:52 am

Alice takes a seat opposite the Voices, sitting demurely, in an exaggeratedly effeminate manner, her straightened arms leading to hands resting on her booted knees.

"Now, where were we? You will find I am far better-mannered. I didn't just murder the last one that accused me of rug-munching."

She smiles, slightly sadistically, before returning to a composed mask.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:55 am

Akarchin puts the scalpal back in her bag and picks up Needleteeth's head, tossing it back and forth a bit before setting it in her lap. She stifles the urge to ask the question that leapt to mind at Alice's comment, and, smiling, rests her head on folded hands, her elbows on the table.

Nicklance · Post by **Nicklance** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:58 am

Glancing back at the undead Dustmen leaving the scene, Dana mutters semi-loudly under her breath, her memory going back to a particular play she has read.

Borrowing the skull from her soon-to-be companion, she holds the head up in mock theatrics.

"Alas, poor Yorick.."

Turning her attention back at Alice, Dana's grin turns sly.

"Especially when it took two hands to clap, and rugs do need some munching from time to time."

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:59 am

{Oh gods, schrodinger's decapitation!}

Grum nods slightly.

"Presently, we are figuring out who is staying and who is piking well off. I think we've seen an example of what we certainly don't want to pay for"

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:10 am

Alice, suddenly becoming serious and business-like, looks at the Voices with a flat expression, giving nothing away.

"All of the knightly Orders you see represented here are, if nothing else, professionals. Admittedly, what you had to witness was not the most professional conduct you have ever witnessed, but we have a proud tradition of not doing sloppy work - for anyone. If you found any of this behaviour objectionable, you can contact our superiors, and we will be dealt with according to our codes - harshly. However, we guarantee you that the work we will do for you will be nothing short of exemplary."

Placing her hand on the table, Alice rises, leaning forward, inadvertently exposing a little of her cleavage, which softens a gesture that would usually appear menacing.

"I give you my personal guarantee, not only for myself, but for all knights present here. And the Errant. This will be professionally-done. Start to finish."

Moar Diplomacy, with a 16. Admittedly not a lot, but I tried. I can try and amplify this with Knowledge checks to cite examples, indicate our laws, etc. if permissible.

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:14 am

Lord Peter waits an appropriate amount of time before adding in a very serious tone, "The Lady is correct. You can feel free to contact my superiors if you are dissatisfied with my conduct. My services are nothing, if not what you pay for."

Aid another on the diplomacy check. I auto get the 10 to boost Sin's check to 18.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:27 am

Grum's eyes widen.

"Klauschaw! I think Deadwick might have said something reasonable for once. Alright, we aren't going to talk to your bosses. I think we've made our policy on casual murder pretty clear and you at least seem to be able to listen to reason. Fine. We'll try you for a week at least. I've got two free rooms above, and the accommodations we reached earlier still stand. Each of those sleeps three, you get three square meals a day, jink depending on what you face and how well you do it. I think Deadwick might even have it in his brain-box to raise that fellow the big one just scribed.

The bashers gathered here had planned to share all the useful information they had, but that's off for today at least. Hmph."

You are mildly aware that the plant-wolves have moved to encircle you, one poised to interpose itself between you and the Voices.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:29 am

{In response to Nicklance's post.}

"I didn't ask for you berks. I spread the word that we could use some adventurers. I'm still not sure why you're here. That red armor probably costs more than the whole District could earn in a year."

{EDIT: Wait, did you just delete your post}

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:31 am

Turning to Cartwell, Alice rests her hands on the back of her chair, looking just as calm as she was before. Her voice, however, is different, being more friendly than before, but still rigidly held and calm, but in an almost un-serious manner.

"Now, surely there's no need for that."

Nicklance · Post by **Nicklance** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:36 am

{Yeah I deleted it. You might wanna nuke your post too lol}

Akula · Post by **Akula** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:38 am

Lady, I'm holding razorvine in my hand. I have a bit of art, and half a mind to wrap you in it. One barmy cutter has already been scribed today, my name isn't going to be added to the mortuary stone. Cartwell responds. I also won't have you pushing Brom again.

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:42 am

Lord Peter lets a bit of his temper flare behind his eyes and says calmly, "Cartwell, cut the heroics. You and I both know that you're no match for a knight of my caliber and we also know that I don't want to make more of a mess for these people. Shut up, sit down, and cooperate. You're being even worse than the dead bloke."

Intimidate (1d20+14=26)

DC 26 Level+wis mod check vs act as friendly while in my presence. You can't make the check. Rules say you behave as friendly now.

Nicklance · Post by **Nicklance** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:49 am

Dana lazily looks at the innkeeper, trying to keep her amusement in check.

"Kind sir, if a panther like me stirred no small amount of panic in the common room, do three plant-wolves in the room mean nothing with a spellcaster threatening to bind a lady up in razorvine when she had done nothing wrong?"

Diplomacy check total 18

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:49 am

A few more people climb out windows. The Voices are gone up the stairs to the second floor. A note lies on the meeting table. One Dustman has resumed drinking.

ubernoob · Post by **ubernoob** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:51 am

Lord Peter takes a disapproving glance at Cartwell before bending down to read the note aloud for the assembled adventures.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:55 am

Cartwell,

Sod it, you can probably handle this better. You've got the biggest stick. Grum's on the second floor with the room keys.

koz · Post by **koz** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:58 am

Alice glances in Cartwell's direction, briefly looks down, then looks up, smiling.

"I must say, there is at least one item of that note with which I am in strong and protestive disagreement."