What are we talking about, as far as I can tell from that sentence structure it must go something like...deanruel87 wrote:I prefer fantasy with Elves based on tolkiens elves and Dwarves who all get racial abilities to make them look like Gimli and Dark Lord BBEG's that are basically just Sauron and magic swords and Dragon slaying and taking their treasure and by dragons
I mean the ones that look like Smaug.
Gimli Elf
Racial Ability : Looks Like Gimli
BBEG Elf
Racial Ability : Basically looks like Sauron
Magic Sword Elf
Racial Ability : Looks like a magic sword.
Dragon Slaying Elf
Racial Ability : Looks like the act of slaying a dragon (which looks like Smaug) and taking its treasure.
But jokes aside, that actually IS what you are talking about and if there is one thing TSR and WOTC have taught us it's that nine-thousand flavors of boring interchangeable elf really isn't all that nice.
We KNOW having pointy ears is not a good excuse for a stat modifier and a bonus finding secret doors. We know that having perky ears AND a strawberry flavoured colour scheme is not a good excuse for a racial swording or magicing bonus.
We know the sorts of bland racial abilities like elves get are all mechanically terrible for the game and ultimately lead race selection into the dead end of "that race you only take if you are a Bard, and the ONLY race you take if you are a Bard".
Dumping that mechanical shit out of here is good for the game and will in turn put the boot up the fantasy end of things where the 19 flavours of elf in your home setting don't get stat differentiation anymore and you don't get to write up ONE boring stereotype character per race and pretend that every green haired elf in the universe is Robin Fucking Hood. (Something which devalues Robin Hood, Green haired elves, and your entire setting universe).
Tolkien is kinda crap actually, and was crap before it was even dated. Now it's crap AND dated AND done to death. If it weren't for those fucking (long, dull, mud colored, boring homo-erotic) movies it would be dead and burred by now and I'd be dancing happily on its grave.Tolkien is awesome.
On the one hand, that's what the elfin princess with the clothes made out of fairy dust and happy thoughts on the back of the Flamingo is for.War Flamingo's can suck my dick that shit is unmarketable.
And on the other hand, sorry, NO, Flamingos ARE marketable. Moorcock you see is actually not that great a writer. Good enough to kick Tolkien in the ass, but a lot of Moorcocks work can be a bit dry and uninteresting (despite the kinky princesses and giant war flamingos).
The thing is, the princess, the flamingos, and the cover art DID in fact market his books incredibly successfully. Moorcock IS one of the key original works D&D style fantasy has derived much of its material from. Moorcock is pretty much the definitive author of the Pulp Fantasy Fiction era. And pulp fantasy fiction is by DEFINITION made out of marketable material, And indeed little else.
A few points.NO. It is because I play with OTHER PEOPLE. And when you want to talk your hot coworker into showing up for a game of DnD you had better be able to tap into themes they already know.
Psychedelic pulp "alternative" fantasy IS marketable, so you CAN use it as a selling point. "Other people" have been widely observed to like it.
Sorry, your hot Co-worker probably does NOT have Tolkien fantasies you can play on. Name dropping Gimli at the gaming table will NOT get you into her pants. If getting in her pants was that easy then she would TOTALLY go for the laser knights on giant flamingos thing, and it has plenty of literary authority behind it too, you know if you both need the excuse of a famed and popular fantasy author for your gaming/pants adventures.
Xena would totally have ridden a war flamingo and kicked peoples asses with laser lances. Only her budget and S&M costume fetish stood in her way. That and the well known long standing blood feud between Māori stunt men and giant birds.So I can end up railing girls I get to show up to games who want to live out their Xena fantasies
So really don't bring Xena into this, she is basically just a lame family friendly greco-S&M girl Elric anyway.
Tolkien and mud covered peasants get you quantifiable amounts of ass? Really?That shit would get me quantifiably less ass so FUCK THAT SHIT FOREVER.
Am I living under a rock here and if so why isn't my kick ass rock and muddy underneath a rock lifestyle attracting all the mud covered peasant fans?
I mean fuck it, I AM a mud covered peasant. I mean I actually farm mud for a living, it's not getting me any quantifiable amounts of ass. WTF?