It's Personal...

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Fri Sep 14, 2012 10:21 pm

fectin wrote:Related and hilarious, though completely unverified:

The Dutch used to (in the 17th through 19th century or so) drink HUGE amounts of brandy; everyone drank weak beer (because the alternative was water), but they drank the same volume in brandy. If you dealt with the Dutch, you were served brandy too, and expected to drink it. Now, if you're Dutch, you've been drinking like this forever; anyone else is at a serious disadvantage.
Small wonder Amsterdam was a trade capitol of Europe.

Vaguely related: this could be due to loopholes. I remember reading about how brandy was originally done so traders could haul more wine (in distilled form) in the same amount of space. Then they found out adding water back to it didn't work so well, but hey, this stuff isn't half bad...

Sir Neil · Post by **Sir Neil** » Fri Sep 14, 2012 10:38 pm

I'm attending a crime scene investigation class. Guy got hit by a locomotive, and our teachers took us out there to examine the scene. They figured it would be ...
(•_•)
( •_•)>¬0-0
(¬0-0)
... good training.

Ted the Flayer · Post by **Ted the Flayer** » Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:54 am

Pseudo Stupidity wrote:
Ted the Flayer wrote:I just realized that I left my fleshlight setting out. My friends were over for a few hours...
I didn't know Fleshlights were actually popular. I've only seen one in person, and the owner was pretty out there.

Your car situation sucks though, i understand what it's like to be poor and trying to make sure an animal is safe. I had less than a week to find an apartment that actually accepted cats that I could afford once and got extremely lucky. I hope everything works out alright.

I have been told that I am pretty out there. My friends don't get me at all. They think its bizarre that I argue cost of a fleshlight versus cost of getting laid. And really don't get that my fantasy with two women typically involves one cleaning the windows and the other cooking me a steak.

(No joke, one of my friends does the pick-up artist thing, and he can easily drop several grand a week on his lifestyle. I don't get it)

And I managed to get it together and get out the door. Had an odd streak of good luck this time. Which is noted with immense gratitude.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:08 pm

Further good luck upon you, Ted.

See, if it was a video game, I'd just bless you. My ten-years-younger sister swears my blessing is worth something on a game.

Amethyst_Butterfly · Post by **Amethyst_Butterfly** » Thu Sep 20, 2012 4:39 am

I had no idea how much I used my laptop for work-related stuff until it died. Ugh, the misery. I really hope it's just the cord.

That said, I was going to post more here, but I have been so super busy that I barely get to glance once a week lately. That's a good thing, really, but if I could use a day off or two.

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Sat Sep 22, 2012 3:05 am

Deleted. Reposting in questions thread.

Josh_Kablack · Post by **Josh_Kablack** » Sat Sep 22, 2012 6:07 am

Sir Neil wrote:good training.

And here I thought the puns were only for the TV version.

Ted the Flayer · Post by **Ted the Flayer** » Sat Sep 22, 2012 8:23 pm

So I got fired from my second job. It was with a temp agency.

Basically I was called in to the office yesterday. They said I wasn't working and to turn in my timesheet. So I rode my bike 10 miles across town to do so. When I got there, they told me that they changed their minds and wanted me to work. I had to report to the workplace 10 miles back across town. In 30 minutes. Yeah, maybe a fitter man might have made that, I did it in 45.

This will slow down my progress but fuck those guys. After a 25 mile trip my ass hurts worse than that time I dated a dominatrix, except it wasn't fun.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sun Sep 23, 2012 2:26 am

Ted the Flayer wrote:After a 25 mile trip my ass hurts worse than that time I dated a dominatrix, except it wasn't fun.

So, much like then, you're buggered?

Ted the Flayer · Post by **Ted the Flayer** » Sun Sep 23, 2012 2:37 am

Koumei wrote:
Ted the Flayer wrote:After a 25 mile trip my ass hurts worse than that time I dated a dominatrix, except it wasn't fun.
So, much like then, you're buggered?

Not really. There is a major difference between losing a shitty job for shitty reasons and receiving the attentions of a dominant and busty brunette who owns a riding crop and a strap-on, and you of all people should know this

.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Sep 24, 2012 12:59 am

So, I'm about to call a collection company and my phone company to try to renegotiate so that half my unemployment isn't pissed away on bills as soon as it comes in.

With the collection company, basically, I'm looking at calling and saying "hey, this is a pain in my ass, and I can barely live on what I have after paying you. Take about 60%, it'll only tack on another 4 months, or I declare bankruptcy, and you get shit. I don't want to do this, but it's an attractive option."
What do I need to know to make it seem like I'm serious about bankruptcy and can actually get this to go in my favour? I'm currently paying as an alternative to being dragged into court and having wages garnished. I've read up on wage garnishment a bit, and know that if they do actually do that, my unemployment cannot be garnished.
What I don't know a lot about, though, is bankruptcy. I know that everything I own is exempt property, so I wouldn't have to sell anything off if I declared, but more than that...

erik · Post by **erik** » Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:11 am

Disclaimer: Much of my knowledge is not first hand. I have not had to negotiate with collections agencies or billing departments (other than to have them provide bill explanations).

I'd say you ought not declare bankruptcy intentions so blatantly in a tit-for-tat. Only millionaires get away with being so brazen. You could just as easily express concern about bankruptcy. Remember that the person you are talking to is a human being and they are more likely to consider more amenable options if you aren't obviously trying to exploit them from their perspective.

The collection company paid dimes on the dollar, if that, for the chance to collect on what you owe. They are very likely to work with you in order to create any sort of payment schedule. I'd first try working with them without threatening to go nuclear with bankruptcy.

Now, you'd think the phone company would be willing to negotiate before sending to collections and letting the collection company reap the benefits of buying your debt, but companies are stupid and have their own rules on what they are allowed to settle for (and it is probably a lot higher than what they sell their debts to collection agencies for). They will have financial services people willing to negotiate some, but probably not with the amount of flexibility that you may find from a collections agency. That said, if you can work something out then you may be able to keep service which is likely a big plus.

Figure out what you can afford to pay (monthly and in total), what you would prefer to pay, and try to find a happy medium before engaging in any negotiations. If you cannot settle on something acceptable, you can always end the call and call back later when you have your next move in place.

A decent cust serv agent will comment up your negotiations so you can pick up again later.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Mon Sep 24, 2012 5:18 am

The phone isn't in collections, my contract is just about up, and basically I'm going to try to use that to lower my monthly bill a bit.

The collection company I'm already making monthly payments on, those payments, however, are only just under 25% of my unemployment, and when combined with my phone bill, is half my unemployment gone each month.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:52 am

Prak_Anima wrote: With the collection company, basically, I'm looking at calling and saying "hey, this is a pain in my ass, and I can barely live on what I have after paying you. Take about 60%, it'll only tack on another 4 months, or I declare bankruptcy, and you get shit. I don't want to do this, but it's an attractive option."

How much do you owe and what do you owe it for?

Here's the thing about collection companies, unless it's an absurdly huge amount they don't want to take you to court, because that costs money. Collection companies are all about the percentages and their reps are working on a script based on hard math.

The Company buys your debt outright for pennies on the dollar. Seriously, if you owed $1000 the collection company probably bought it for like $10 or $20. They then have their employees, who are average schmoes in a call center pester you with phone calls.

The thing is, though, that they want money in their hand, not huge court costs and wage garnishments that may not materialize. As stated, they're running on a rigorously tested and mathematically proven script. They want a certain percentage profit. Anything above that is gravy. If they think they're not going to get paid otherwise they'll offer you a flat 'pay this much now and the debt will go away.' This is often very low, because even if you're only paying a tiny percent of that huge debt they're still making money because they paid even less for it. I've had a collection agency seriously offer to drop a $1200 debt down to $50 once before.

Since you've already made an agreement with them you're in a bit of a bigger lurch in terms of negotiations. The general rule is to never take the first offer and never agree to pay full price.

The trick is to be passive rather than aggressive. A simple "I don't have the money" is going to work better than being threatening. As stated, you're probably not talking to anyone who has power. You're talking to a person in a call center reading a script off a computer screen most likely. That person wants to take your money. That script tells the person what offer to make initially and what compromises to make if that offer does work.

If you say "I do not have the money to pay this right now" she's not going to say "fuck off, deadbeat." She's going to turn to page 47 of her script and read off the compromise offered there. And she's going to do it politely. If that doesn't work then she'll keep down down until she hits that point where her script tells her that she can't go any lower.

Wage garnishment seriously isn't worth the court costs in most cases.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:10 am

Best Buy card, I've paid down to 358 from what was over 900.

Ted the Flayer · Post by **Ted the Flayer** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:25 am

hyzmarca wrote:
Prak_Anima wrote: With the collection company, basically, I'm looking at calling and saying "hey, this is a pain in my ass, and I can barely live on what I have after paying you. Take about 60%, it'll only tack on another 4 months, or I declare bankruptcy, and you get shit. I don't want to do this, but it's an attractive option."
How much do you owe and what do you owe it for?

Here's the thing about collection companies, unless it's an absurdly huge amount they don't want to take you to court, because that costs money. Collection companies are all about the percentages and their reps are working on a script based on hard math.

The Company buys your debt outright for pennies on the dollar. Seriously, if you owed $1000 the collection company probably bought it for like $10 or $20. They then have their employees, who are average schmoes in a call center pester you with phone calls.

The thing is, though, that they want money in their hand, not huge court costs and wage garnishments that may not materialize. As stated, they're running on a rigorously tested and mathematically proven script. They want a certain percentage profit. Anything above that is gravy. If they think they're not going to get paid otherwise they'll offer you a flat 'pay this much now and the debt will go away.' This is often very low, because even if you're only paying a tiny percent of that huge debt they're still making money because they paid even less for it. I've had a collection agency seriously offer to drop a $1200 debt down to $50 once before.

Since you've already made an agreement with them you're in a bit of a bigger lurch in terms of negotiations. The general rule is to never take the first offer and never agree to pay full price.

The trick is to be passive rather than aggressive. A simple "I don't have the money" is going to work better than being threatening. As stated, you're probably not talking to anyone who has power. You're taking to a person in a call center reading a script off a computer screen most likely. That person wants to take your money. That script tells the person what offer to make initially and what compromises to make if that offer does work.

If you say "I do not have the money to pay this right now" she's not going to say "fuck off, deadbeat." She's going to turn to page 47 of her script and read off the compromise offered there. And she's going to do it politely. If that doesn't work then she'll keep down down until she hits that point where her script tells her that she can't go any lower.

Wage garnishment seriously isn't worth the court costs in most cases.

Crap, you can do that? Ill have to try that when I get some cash flowing.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:29 am

Prak_Anima wrote:Best Buy card, I've paid down to 358 from what was over 900.

In that case, the collection agency has already made their money back and got a decent profit. They can just wipe the entire debt out and still be well in the black. They probably won't do that, because you've already made a payment agreement. Rule number one, never let them go once you've got a hook in them. But they might be merciful.

They're probably not going to sue you at this point, not over $358. Once you factor in court costs and lawyers fees, it just isn't worth the effort. I can't say that for certain, and I'm not a lawyer or an accountant, but from my experience collection agencies do not like to take things to court. They will fuck up your credit record, because that's free, but if given the choice between taking less, taking nothing, or going to court, they'll probably choose less.

Just remember, never say that you won't pay it. Say that you can't pay it. They will, most likely, ask how much you can pay. I recommend an "I don't know". If you do that the person you're talking to will most likely make an offer that is far lower than you're paying. If you can't pay that, tell them so and give them a number that you can pay. There is a good chance that it will be accepted. If not you'll at least get a counter-offer.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:32 am

Fair enough, thanks. ...now I just have to actually call them. Near full time class is not exactly conducive to that, unless I want to discuss my finance matters with a few hundred of my closest strangers around.

Ted the Flayer · Post by **Ted the Flayer** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:33 am

The porn shop in my new town has the crummiest selection of girl-girl that I've ever seen. However, if you like pregnant women there is an entire wall of it. I find that odd. I guess people in this town are mausiophiliacs. (sp?)

Also, being cut off from internet porn sucks.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:37 am

....I'm extremely tempted to load up an 8g flash drive full of porn and ship it to you, Ted. Where are you now, actually?

Ted the Flayer · Post by **Ted the Flayer** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:07 am

I appreciate the sentiment but I don't have the computer to plug in a drive. I am using my phone for internet and the screen is too small for anything but text. My dad gave me an extended lecture about not using his computer for porn. Im tempted to fill it with ponies.

hyzmarca · Post by **hyzmarca** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:08 am

Ted the Flayer wrote: Crap, you can do that? Ill have to try that when I get some cash flowing.

It's not cheap to start up. You need to be licensed and bonded, meaning that you'll have to give a significant sum to money to a bonding company up front as well as pay government fees. And every State has it's own regulations, so you'll have to read up on them. Then there's actually buying the debt. You can't get just one. These things are sold in blocks. You have to buy them all at once, and that can be a fuckton of debt. Also, most banks already have agreements with existing collection agencies, so you'll have to outbid their current agencies, which means that you'll have to pay more.

Finally, and here's the most important thing to remember, you're buying bad debt. The vast majority of these guys aren't going to pay you. Some of them will have vanished without a trace, possibly wandering the Earth like Dr. David Banner, forever running from the raging debt that dwells within them, or possibly dead on a slab marked John Doe.

A significant fraction of these cannot or will not pay even if you find them so you just have to write them off on your taxes, like the bank you bought the debt from did. It's an extremely high-risk investment. That's why it is so cheap. You need to do a lot of volume in order to make a profit.

Ted the Flayer · Post by **Ted the Flayer** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 2:31 pm

That was pretty close to the opposite of what I meant.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:29 pm

Yeah, I read it as Ted saying that he needs to bargin down the collectors on his debt.

Fortunately I haven't made payment agreements on all my other scads of debt...

Sir Neil · Post by **Sir Neil** » Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:34 pm

Josh_Kablack wrote:And here I thought the puns were only for the TV version.

Nah, we gotta keep morale up, too. As I was swabbing a dead rottweiler's teeth for D.N.A., I leaned in and told it that he was "a bad dog." I was even able to use "bitch" in an official police report.