Let's Play Fighting Fantasy #2: The Citadel of Chaos
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- OgreBattle
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You rise into the air. The room continues to shake around you but you can float freely. You may fly to wherever you wish in the room:
To the armory cupboard?
Quickly nip behind the sorcerer?
Over to the window?
Under the table?
To the armory cupboard?
Quickly nip behind the sorcerer?
Over to the window?
Under the table?
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
- OgreBattle
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nipping behind him sounds like a bad idea, he's right there staring at us.
Under the table... well reading his mind made it sound like there's something significant there. Or we just die in an embarrassing position.
Armory and Window sound like clues for things we never found clues for because of that goddamn leprachaun
Under the table... well reading his mind made it sound like there's something significant there. Or we just die in an embarrassing position.
Armory and Window sound like clues for things we never found clues for because of that goddamn leprachaun
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One of these options has to be an insta-kill. There'z always an insta-kill option. I think KNOW the window is the insta-kill. I just feel it.
Why? Maybe because the wizard keeps his wizardly porn in the window. I like windows.
Why? Maybe because the wizard keeps his wizardly porn in the window. I like windows.
Last edited by Shrapnel on Sun Mar 10, 2013 4:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Is this wretched demi-bee
Half asleep upon my knee
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric, the half a bee
Half asleep upon my knee
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric, the half a bee
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His eyes follow you to the window. His pupils have turned milky white. He leans his head back, blinks and moans. Snapping his head forwards, he now glares at you with eyes that have turned to shining silver! His gaze is hypnotic, and you will have to act quickly. Will you:
Hide yourself behind one of the drapes?
Pull one of the drapes down and throw it over his head?
Look through your backpack for something to use?
Hide yourself behind one of the drapes?
Pull one of the drapes down and throw it over his head?
Look through your backpack for something to use?
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
- Avoraciopoctules
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As the drape falls, daylight streams in through the window. You realize that you have lost all track of time since entering the Citadel. The sun is a welcome relief after your many hours of darkness. A thump makes you turn back towards your adversary. He is lying in a heap on the ground. You take a step forwards and he lets out a blood-curdling scream! "The curtain!...You fool!..." he gasps in a voice that is obviously weak and dying. Evidently the daylight you have let in is sapping his strength rapidly, and he is trying desperately to crawl into the shadows. But he is too weak to move far and he slumps to the ground, face downwards.
Balthus Dire, lying at your feet, is dead. Your mission has been completed! The Vale of Willow is safe from attack - for the time being at least.
(The Sorcerer's dead! Vale of Willow is Red! Let us point all our spells at the USA.)
To make sure his plan is destroyed, you take the drapes from the window and spread them across the table on which his battle plan is laid out. Taking a candle, you set fire to the rich curtains. As the flames lick the table you consider your own escape. Do you have a Levitation Spell left? If so, you may cast it and float out through the window to the safety of the ground below. If not, then you will need to recall your reserves of skill and cunning to avoid the guards and dangers of the Citadel on your escape. But that is another story...
Manstaff Cockbeard, artist's interpretation on left. (On the right is probably what our Island of the Lizard King character looks like, who in honor of the runner up of the poll in this thread will be named Dirk O'killitwithfire.)
Skill: 9/12
Stamina: 8/18
Luck: 7/8
Magic: 7/13
Equipment: Magic Battlesword (+1 Attack Strength,) Leather Armor, Enchanted Throwing Dagger (can be used once to automatically deal 2 damage to an opponent)
Backpack: Weeds, Ointment, Silver Mirror, Spider in a Jar
Keys: Copper Key, Silver Key, Green Metal Key
Gold Pieces: 10
Potions: None
Spells: Fire x 3, Levitation x 0, Creature Copy x 0, E.S.P. x 0, Fool's Gold x 1, Illusion x 1, Shielding x 0, Strength x 1, Weakness x 0
Final Total of Deaths: 1
Final Total of Failures: 1
Final Total of "Fuck This Shit:" 1
(DAYUM Fire Spells are useless. Even in Fighting Fantasy Evokers get the shaft. And Fool's Gold wasn't even ever given as an option to us; IIRC it's basically just a substitute for Gold Pieces if you can't find any. I'd say Illusion was of no use either, but I recall it having some uses in the One True Path. Stamina and Skill spells are actually pretty good, since food is so scarce; at least having one of each would've helped us a lot, to the point that we could probably kick the ass of Balthus Dire in a swordfight had we those. Levitation is totally awesome. All of the others were useful like once.)
In a few minutes I'll start up a Let's Play of Fighting Fantasy #7: Island of the Lizard King. After that one I'm taking a break from these, but if people want I can look for more Fighting Fantasy Books and at some point in the future do LPs of those.
Balthus Dire, lying at your feet, is dead. Your mission has been completed! The Vale of Willow is safe from attack - for the time being at least.
(The Sorcerer's dead! Vale of Willow is Red! Let us point all our spells at the USA.)
To make sure his plan is destroyed, you take the drapes from the window and spread them across the table on which his battle plan is laid out. Taking a candle, you set fire to the rich curtains. As the flames lick the table you consider your own escape. Do you have a Levitation Spell left? If so, you may cast it and float out through the window to the safety of the ground below. If not, then you will need to recall your reserves of skill and cunning to avoid the guards and dangers of the Citadel on your escape. But that is another story...
Manstaff Cockbeard, artist's interpretation on left. (On the right is probably what our Island of the Lizard King character looks like, who in honor of the runner up of the poll in this thread will be named Dirk O'killitwithfire.)
Skill: 9/12
Stamina: 8/18
Luck: 7/8
Magic: 7/13
Equipment: Magic Battlesword (+1 Attack Strength,) Leather Armor, Enchanted Throwing Dagger (can be used once to automatically deal 2 damage to an opponent)
Backpack: Weeds, Ointment, Silver Mirror, Spider in a Jar
Keys: Copper Key, Silver Key, Green Metal Key
Gold Pieces: 10
Potions: None
Spells: Fire x 3, Levitation x 0, Creature Copy x 0, E.S.P. x 0, Fool's Gold x 1, Illusion x 1, Shielding x 0, Strength x 1, Weakness x 0
Final Total of Deaths: 1
Final Total of Failures: 1
Final Total of "Fuck This Shit:" 1
(DAYUM Fire Spells are useless. Even in Fighting Fantasy Evokers get the shaft. And Fool's Gold wasn't even ever given as an option to us; IIRC it's basically just a substitute for Gold Pieces if you can't find any. I'd say Illusion was of no use either, but I recall it having some uses in the One True Path. Stamina and Skill spells are actually pretty good, since food is so scarce; at least having one of each would've helped us a lot, to the point that we could probably kick the ass of Balthus Dire in a swordfight had we those. Levitation is totally awesome. All of the others were useful like once.)
In a few minutes I'll start up a Let's Play of Fighting Fantasy #7: Island of the Lizard King. After that one I'm taking a break from these, but if people want I can look for more Fighting Fantasy Books and at some point in the future do LPs of those.
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
- Darth Rabbitt
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I don't think so, sunlight just fucks him up for some reason. Neither the Fighting Fantasy Wiki nor the Villains Wiki give any explanation other than genetics; his family is apparently cursed to explode on contact with sunlight for some reason (which I recalled from one path in this book, actually.)
Real question is why he'd spend so much time in the room with the biggest windows in his Citadel?
EDIT: typo
Real question is why he'd spend so much time in the room with the biggest windows in his Citadel?
EDIT: typo
Last edited by Darth Rabbitt on Mon Mar 11, 2013 3:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
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Username17
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I am legitimately confused as to how or why the villain was defeated.
I am equally confused as to how we were stuck at an automatic failure point at the door's combination lock if both the room we were in and the final boss room allowed us to levitate home via their respective windows. How could we not just go out the window and back in the window of the next room? They connect to the same outside and are literally right next to each other!
-Username17
I am equally confused as to how we were stuck at an automatic failure point at the door's combination lock if both the room we were in and the final boss room allowed us to levitate home via their respective windows. How could we not just go out the window and back in the window of the next room? They connect to the same outside and are literally right next to each other!
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Again, for some reason the Dire clan is vulnerable to sunlight, nothing more than that is given.

As for the Levitation thing, it's because UK Steve Jackson has a numbered section puzzle fetish, and therefore they must be essential at least once in all of the FF gamebooks he's done.
Even with that BS, Levitation is the most useful spell in this book by far, as it solves a fair amount of puzzles, can give you the "best" ending, and allows you to bypass death or injury from many traps.

As for the Levitation thing, it's because UK Steve Jackson has a numbered section puzzle fetish, and therefore they must be essential at least once in all of the FF gamebooks he's done.
Even with that BS, Levitation is the most useful spell in this book by far, as it solves a fair amount of puzzles, can give you the "best" ending, and allows you to bypass death or injury from many traps.
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
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From what I recall Balthus Dire can also autofail you by dominating you, or turning into a Medusa and you getting lucky to not turn to stone, but don't have a Mirror to reflect it back at him (he calls for his guards and they take you away.)
For auto-kills he can knife you in the back if you take long enough and he can turn you to stone as a Medusa if you are Unlucky.
For auto-kills he can knife you in the back if you take long enough and he can turn you to stone as a Medusa if you are Unlucky.
Pseudo Stupidity wrote:This Applebees fucking sucks, much like all Applebees. I wanted to go to Femboy Hooters (communism).
