[D&D3ish]Crypts of Chaos: Scouting Interest

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Sun Apr 28, 2013 10:12 pm

Really? Alright! When he runs out of spells, he can force it into the hands of enemies to give them fiddly dietary restrictions. It might replace their existing, possibly-better weapons.

Or maybe it can be used to cut up tower-meat into chunks that can be stacked for a barricade.

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Mon Apr 29, 2013 2:11 am

His plan is to use it to stab the Mad God in its weak point for massive damage. But we'll see if that's a thing that happens.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Mon Apr 29, 2013 6:36 pm

Avoraciopoctules wrote:

'Xochitl smiles at the woman. "I was gonna ask why everyone was fighting, but I suppose we can discuss that later." She tilts open the woman's mouth to make sure she inhales as much miasma as possible, then blasts her along with any living non-party-members in range.

If there are no other living targets in range, she instead knocks the woman unconscious and moves to engage some.

She also orders the zombies to loose arrows at the worm, hopefully distracting it. If any know their purpose here, they should succinctly relate it as they shoot.

Does she see who the Bluetown soldiers fired upon?

Also, she takes note of how long it takes them to reload.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Mon Apr 29, 2013 7:12 pm

Yes. I have it. An epilogue that doesn't even tangentially involve Iron Heart Surge. Xilraxochitl takes her new army on the road as a dual-purpose B-ball team and dance troupe.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:39 pm

I've started a recruiting thread for a new Pathfinder game now that Grinding Gear is finished. If anyone is interested, you can check it out here:

http://tgdmb.com/viewtopic.php?t=54276

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Mon Apr 29, 2013 11:32 pm

Just waiting on Red Rob, I think.

Red_Rob · Post by **Red_Rob** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 2:28 pm

Wait, I thought we were letting Thingol do his thing? If the place is gone "as if it were never here" would that not be a good thing?

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 2:48 pm

Arguably, yes. Cadwyn would probably prefer a giant undo button to an escape as she is. But for some reason she's now trying to stop Thingol.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 4:57 pm

So, next action should involve everyone covering their ears for a moment. I thought the Trumpet Archon only affected evil, but it affects everyone...

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 6:20 pm

Crypts of Chaos: Alternative Ending 1
[SCENE: A large cavern. The MAD GOD floats over his SOUL POOL, fed by the ECTOPLASMIC RIVER coming from off stage left. Suddenly, the stage trembles as an enormous CONTRAPTION breaks through the wall on the right. Printed on the side is the following: “I traded 3 Holy Avengers to the gnomes and all I got was this lousy digger-tank”. The PLAYER CHARACTERS spring out of a hatch on top. TERRIBLE MUSIC begins to blare from speakers dotting the vehicle.]

XIL: Chaos, I got a prob'm witcho muh-fuckin' ass.
That's why we hijacked the GnomeZone, dug straight to you at last.
Battled many foes on our way to you.
And we won't think twice about destroyin' you, too.
[She poses melodramatically, waving an adamantine fullblade with “Overcompensator” written on it]

MAD GOD: I won't be so forgiving this time around. (Cadwyn: Say what?)
I will put you in the ground! HA-Ha-ha!
[Mad god attempts to teleport the PCs into the floor, but fails. The tank is generating a dimensional anchor.]

CADWYN: You can't stop me now, I'm more powerful than you. [Turns into a giant dragon, begins shooting the Mad God with laser breath]
MAD GOD: You puny half-wit, I'll hit you with my dick! [Mad God's second targetable location casts magic missile, inflicting minor damage]
Chaos reigns upon you and you question yourself.
You find that messing with the best is never good for your health, HAHA!

XIL: Bitch you'd better go home, and cry to your mom. (Zombies: Your mom!)
'Cause I've been fuckin' practicin' and takin' my time. (Zombies: My time!)
[The Mad God parries Xil's ridiculously oversized sword]MAD GOD: You're good, but you're no Sephiroth.
XIL: You're startin' to piss me off right now...heeeeyeeEEEAH

[Party pulls electrically-bolstered instruments off the tank and unleash a blisteringly METAL performance that leaves the Mad God staggered. Suddenly, it is interrupted by BERRY using STUNNING FIST on the MAD GOD and the terrible battle theme resumes blaring from the tank.]

BERRY: I'm gonna fuckin' kick you in your stupid fuckin' face!
Your defense is weak. Fought Imps tougher than you.
Rad god turned mad god? Good god, you're through.
I got so much HP you can call me Terminator.
'Cause these motherfuckin' muscles are buffer than Schwarzenegger's.
Take a tip from my crew bitch, it's time to bow out!
After that we'll have a motherfuckin' night on the town.

NG'THAGAI: Cause it's a random battle system and yo ass gonn' be hurtin'.
And I'll be bustin' out my tricks, like my name was Lance Burton.
Party's here, motherfuckers, and we're fully equipped
With swords, and staves and knives, all kinds of magical shit. Let's go!
[Double-stunlocks the Mad God with a gaze attack]

MAD GOD: How can this be happening?! This can't be true!
CADWYN: Well I'mma stab you in your motherfuckin' face, you're through.
You done it now, shut your mouth look what you made me do!
[Turns into a manticore, shoots spikes]

[Tek begins to blast the Mad God with dozens of evocation spells]
TEK: I got a thousand volts of lightning runnin' through my veins.
A bullshit spell-staff in my hand, and its flavor is pain.
You been playin' with fire, now you gonna get burned.
You're in over your head, another lesson to be learned.
I'm gonna run you through, you're gonna pay for your crime, fucker!
I just cast HASTE and now you're runnin' out of time.

MAD GOD: They call me Chaos for a reason, boy, don't be ridiculous.
As of late I've found that time itself is rather meticulous.
I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kings!
You and your friends will die here and I'll destroy everything.

NG'THAGAI: We are the PROTAGONISTS bitch, you heard what I said.
We're gonna end this paradox, you're only strong in your head!
You may think you're safe in this prison plane, but now you're DEAD.
[throws a summoned wolf at the Mad God, who promptly explodes. Party drives off, exchanging high-fives.]

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 7:09 pm

Crypts of Chaos: Alternative Ending 2

[Party has reached the PortalWarden, who controls entry and exit from the Crypts of Chaos.]

Party: "Hey, PortalWarden! We challenge you to a Pokemon Battle! If we win, we get to leave. If you win, you get our souls."
PortalWarden: "Agreed."
Party: "Skeleton, I choose you!"
PortalWarden: "A skeleton, eh? Two can play at that game! I choose you, Skeleton!"
Party: "Skeleton, use a Scratch attack!"
PortalWarden: "Quickly, Skeleton! Counter with a Scratch!"
Party: "Look Skeleton, an opening! Hit it with a Scratch attack!"
PortalWarden: "Fool, my skeleton is immune to other skeleton's Scratch attacks! Skeleton, use Scratch."
Party: "Skeleton, return! I choose you, Phasm!" [Phasm turns into a skeleton.] "Ah nuts. Err, Scratch!
PortalWarden: [cell phone rings] "Hello? Hey, I'm kind of in the middle of something- Chung K'uei? Chung K'uei can suck on mah balls. Skeleton, uh, just use a Scratch attack."
Party: "Skeleton, hit'em with a charging Scratch!"
PortalWarden: "Skeleton, return! I choose you, Skeleton! Scratch!"
Party: "Quickly, Skeleton! Counter with a Scratch!"
PortalWarden: "Skeleton, time for a Scratch attack!"
Party: "You can do it, Skeleton! We believe in you! Use Scratch!"
PortalWarden: "Scratch attack, Skeleton! Quickly!"

[The battle continues until PortalWarden collapses from exhaustion. Party declares victory and leaves the Crypts of Chaos.]

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 7:24 pm

If Thingol dies in the next __ rounds, you might yet get to play that. Just waiting on Rob to resolve the next actions.

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:08 pm

I would characterize that ending as "Metal" rather than "Alternative" but it's awesome either way.

Red_Rob · Post by **Red_Rob** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 8:14 pm

Mental note - more characters need to talk in song lyrics.

Avoraciopoctules · Post by **Avoraciopoctules** » Tue Apr 30, 2013 9:48 pm

If any undead wasps are left, they'll come down from above and try to pull the doomsday device away from Thingol.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Wed May 01, 2013 10:51 am

Waiting on Prak.

C'mon guys! Stay strong! We're so near the (highly probable) end!

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Wed May 01, 2013 4:14 pm

Is the pillar of light still coming out of the Matrix?

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Wed May 01, 2013 4:19 pm

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu May 02, 2013 12:37 am

Waitin' on Tek & Berry.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu May 02, 2013 2:56 pm

Waitin' on Tek/Prak. C'mon guys and gals, home stretch.

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Thu May 02, 2013 3:12 pm

By the way, I should mention (again) that Cadwyn has a trump card, which he may have to use real soon. How much deus are people comfortable with coming ex machina?

JigokuBosatsu · Post by **JigokuBosatsu** » Thu May 02, 2013 3:12 pm

It's all good.

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Thu May 02, 2013 3:22 pm

Okay, we'll see what happens this round, then maybe things will get crazy. Well, crazier. Craziest?

Whatever · Post by **Whatever** » Thu May 02, 2013 5:53 pm

Quick question: the bubble was 5' radius, so with it gone, is the pillar of annihilation within reach of Cadwyn's extra-long arms?

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu May 02, 2013 5:54 pm