[D&D3ish]Crypts of Chaos: Scouting Interest

[Red_Rob]

Wowsers!

Definitely an awesome end to an awesome game. I loved the little character snapshots at the end, although it makes me wonder what would have happened if we'd had a higher bodycount!

Just out of interest, were the Mad God, the two paladins and the Oracle whole-cloth creations for this campaign or were they from another campaign?

[Ancient History]

Whole-cloth.

[JigokuBosatsu]

Pretty amazing. Definitely one of the best campaigns I've ever played. Thanks, everyone!

[Ancient History]

I think it went rather well. Had a few bumps, bruises, and slow-downs, and I apologize for that. But thanks for playing, everybody!

[Red_Rob]

It was a pleasure to take part. Although I don't think we ever got the true picture of everything that was going on in the Crypts, it really felt like we were dropped into a living, breathing ecosystem. We were almost feeling our way around, learning about the relationships and rules that governed the place as we went.

The party dynamic was interesting. With so much going on in PM's and the varying alignments in the party there was a real feeling that the group was thrown together out of convenience, and that these strange bedfellows could (and sometimes did) turn on each other if things went south! It was definitely quite different to the games I usually play where the players know each other really well out of game. The uncertainty about the other players motivations went well with the premise of random strangers flung together.

All in all I think Ancient deserves a medal for managing to herd our group of cats through the game! I'm sure sometimes we made things as hard as we could for the poor old DM, what with splitting up and going off on random sidequests at the drop of a hat. Speaking of that, does anyone have any revelations they want to share about their personal adventures now the game is over?

[Avoraciopoctules]

Speaking of that, does anyone have any revelations they want to share about their personal adventures now the game is over?

I'll probably post the rest of my PMs later on tonight, once I've taken care of a bit of work.

But for right now, I'll confess that one of the first questions I asked myself for each of the PCs I built for this game was "What will it take for this character to accept death?" The answers varied.

Olaf: The realization that 1. he is no longer capable of surviving in Bogarus even if warped back there or 2. his god doesn't actually care about him.
Shojiro: 1. Whoever his new master is turns out to be as worthless as the old one. 2. A genuinely decent-seeming person calls him out for making the world a worse place.
Grognar: 1. Put under the power of somebody without a sense of humor. 2. Totally schools a great opponent with his slams and jams, and thinks his soul will pass on to the B-ball dimension once it is freed from his undead body.
Xilraxochitl: 1. effectively mind-controlled (will try to take as many people with her as possible) 2. Calls someone out for an honorable (according to her) duel, then loses.
LeperChill: 1. trapped without any ability to seek out and destroy life for the foreseeable future. 2. Discovers its actions have actually saved the lives of countless people by pulling fiends away from their plots and primarily depopulating evil settlements

[Ancient History]

I don't think I was ready for how many of the PCs were willing and even eager to sell their souls, when the offers came.

Some favorite moments:

The mad joy Avor expressed when Shojiro first got his claw...

That brutal card combo that Cadwyn drew at the beginning.

The fake Hand of Vecna worked!

Berry's reaction to finding (and losing) the Hexenblade.

Kothre scoring with the innkeeper's daughter.

The head librarian coming on to Archibald.

Aracanis hitting on mechaBerry.

The mind flayer in the gimp suit climbing out of the box...

And of course, some of the things you guys never quite got to. The room with the Eastern Lord in the Maze (yes, all the rooms were holiday-themed) was going to be like the egg chamber from Alien, except all the eggs would have been brightly painted.

[Avoraciopoctules]

I don't think I was ready for how many of the PCs were willing and even eager to sell their souls, when the offers came.

Maybe I wasn't foreshadowing enough when I started talking about how cool I was with losing several PCs to arrow traps in the first room?

[Avoraciopoctules]

Ominous. The main computer had a crash in the middle of me copying PMs into a Word document. Looks I might not be posting them for a while after all.

[Avoraciopoctules]

Okay, partial system restore. Posting what I've got.

Subject: [Crypts]Elder Thingol's Secret
AH: *There is a labyrinth, to the south of the entranceway, known as Hel. It is a place where chaos has long lurked, and twisted all things living and unliving there to its own ends, and at its center is the chained godling in which this place was imprisoned. My fellow Elders despaired of escape from this realm, for it should persist as long as that captive divinity, yet such was our wisdom and our power we forged a key that would undo the enchantments that the gods wove to craft this place from the nothingness of the astral sea. This was the Annulus, and they gave their lives to empower it, and I was to use it...yet in my weakness, I was unable to do so, for it would have meant the undoing of all my works, including my young. Yet now...now I would gladly pay that final price, and pour out my life into the unmaking of this prison I once built.

*The Annulus is hidden in the gateway to the prison-chamber of the Mad God. Bring it here to me, and I will make the final sacrifice.

Subject: [Crypts]Power?
AH: *Power, little thing? Perhaps you need only...open your mind.

The brain cannot feel pain. Shojiro knows this. Yet somehow she also feels something within her brain...swell, right behind her forehead.

(Shojiro gains the Wild Talent feat.)

Subject: [Crypts]PC hands lost
S: Hey Av, I've been following the Crypts of Chaos for quite awhile, and I have a question: Would Prak's Predacon character blowing up count as a pair of hands being lost? I only ask since I know you're keeping track.
AV: {Thanks, acknowledgement that it counts at least partially due to the manner of passing.}
S: Your quite welcome!

Subject: [Crypts] Note
AH: The note is an itemized receipt for 1 psychoactive troll skin and 1 dragongem, plus implantation and anaesthetic. A credit to the account is given for a few hours' borrowing of the Chaos Cube, so the ending balance is nought.

Subject: [Crypts] Study & Prayer
AH: As Shojiro studies the text, she finally finds some sense to the glowing runes - they describe a divine spell, as on the scrolls used by some priests at home. This particular forbidden prayer is an utterance of particular power: blasphemy.

Subject: [Crypts]The Contuining Adventures of Shojiro...
AH: (I had planned to wait until your fellow adventurers caught up, but since they all seem to be taking their own sweet fucking time, and I hate to leave you hanging...)

After being asleep for a few minutes, Shojiro wakes to the sound of metal scraping on stone. The torch is gone out and the corridor is very dark, but there is a wet, earthy smell that wasn't there before, and a muffled chittering in the blackness.
AV: Shojiro curses quietly, and then stands with her back to the wall she was sitting against. She holds the Runestone in her mouth as she fumbles to light a new torch.
AH: The torch shines into life - revealing that both the hole Shojiro had made and the one she had been digging with her sword have been filled with some grey, wet-looking substance. As she watches, it appears to be drying and taking on a consistency much like the regular stonework of the corridor.
AV: Shojiro snorts in amusement.
"Problematic, but I might find advantage if I alter my thinking... Yes, Excellent. They'll never find me in time to interfere with the ritual. I just need to make sure I'm not interupted."

She tosses a second torch towards the chittering she heard.
AH: The torch lands to the south, in time to see the rear legs of one of the golden insect automatons disappear around the corner.
AV: Shojiro nods.
"Perhaps it was for the best that I lost the sword before finishing my hiding place."

She holds up the Runestone.

"Still, perhaps it is time to exhibit a little more haste."

She begins to search for Create Greater Undead or some equivalent spell, and casts Desecrate if she runs into that first. If she finds Desecrate, she makes a little shrine against the wall before casting it.
AV: Secondary question:

Is the pit trap still sprung?
AH: Shojiro notices the pit trap has been reset.

Paging through a half-dozen spells, Shojiro pauses to consider death pact (from Complete Divine).
AV: Shojiro smiles at the spell.
"Tempting, but not worth the price when I plan to embrace Death's power. I might want to offer this as a gift to another at some point, though."

She continues to sort through the spells. In the meantime, she checks East, reminding herself of the path she previously avoided.
{Could I set the "Safe Location" to be the doom temple where Shojiro sacrificed Shioki?}

{Death Pact: This spell allows the target to enter into a binding agreement
with your deity that brings the target back to life if she is slain.
When this spell is cast, the target’s Constitution is permanently lowered by 2 points. In exchange for this, if she ever dies, several spells are brought into effect. First, she is teleported to a safe location designated by you at the time of casting as if with a word of recall spell. Second, the target is brought back from the dead with a raise dead spell with the standard loss of a level. Finally, the target is healed with a heal spell. She does not regain the 2 Constitution points when returned to life.
If a raise dead spell could not return the target to life (for example, if she was disintegrated or died of old age), the death pact cannot restore her to life. If the spell is dispelled before the target dies, she does not regain her 2 lost Constitution points.
Material Component: A diamond worth at least 500 gp. XP cost: 250 XP.}
AH: (Yes, Shojiro could set that as a "safe place.")

After several more spells, Shojiro finally come upon create greater undead.
AV: Shojiro begins to cackle with Sinister Glee.
"I can no longer afford to wait for the others. I can no longer afford to wait for the perfect place to cross over into death with as much power as possible. Here, now, my transformation will begin. The Spider's champion will finally have the power it needs to strike down its enemies."

{Oh snap, only now do I realize I could have used Death Pact to warp back to the temple for Desecrate bonuses.}

Shojiro begins to cast the spell, first securing the area as best she can. She also sets up a small shrine to Chung K'uei with face paint on the wall and some candles on the floor. If not interrupted, she kills herself at the culmination of the ritual, in a manner suited to the kind of undead the spell allows. (Devourer: probably reach into chest and pull out heart, which burns away in sacrifice to god. Subject's chest is open, a forest of jagged-tipped ribs poking out as the body merges with nearby skeletal remnants and grows into a towering monstrosity.)

{If I get a choice, going for Pathfinder Devourer. It gets a fly speed, but the SLAs are priced based on spell level rather than all being the same.}
AH: As Shojiro recites the words, she feels the power gathering around her...feels herself open up a channel through her soul to that lifeless place of eternal entropy...and then she feels it go wrong. Perhaps she mispoke a passage, for the power she channels is not the darkness so familiar to her...it is light and life and a burning goodness that seems to scorch her blackened, shriveled soul as she channels it into the mouldering bones before her. Bones which spark and put on old flesh, so that what rises before Shojiro looks like the ancient mummy of some long-dead noble, his eyes two sparks of light in an eternity of darkness.
AV: Shojiro winces slightly, but then kneels before the mummy, kowtowing as she would before an Emperor or Dai Oni. She clutches at the cuts she inflicted on herself during the course of the spell, wondering what to do next.
AH: Thing of evil, hisses the voice from the long-dead throat, You reek of sin. Stand fast and accept the judgement of the deathless, or I will end this cycle of your existence.
AV: Shojiro nods.
"I will accept your judgement. I have failed the Spider for the last time. And so has it failed me."

She takes off her remaining equipment, and drops it to one side. She leaves herself with only the crude knife she fashioned earlier.

"Will you let me end my life with honor, or do you ask something else?"
AH: You show restraint and regret, servant of darkness. That is well. Hear now my judgement.

One withered claw reaches toward Shojiro and begins to write across her flesh, the blazing runs flashing white and then disappearing. The process takes ten minutes as the deathless recites a litany of sins, many of which Shojiro has already committed, or thought of committing. Then at last it places a final rune on her forehead.

You bear the mark of justice. It shall lie dormant for a time. But if you seek ever again to raise or command the sleeping dead, then you will be cleansed. Go now about your business, and disturb me not again.

So saying, the deathless one lays its back against the stone wall of the corridor, raises its arms to grasp its shoulder, and closes those terrible eyes - looking for all the world like a mummified corpse at peaceful rest.
AV: Shojiro turns and walks to the other wall. She kneels, cross-legged, facing the stone. Then she takes her knife and saws off the claw-hand grafted onto her right arm. She tosses it onto the pile of possessions she dropped earlier.

Shojiro waits until the hand regenerates, then settles in for a slow death by starvation, unless her sense of self-loathing drives herself toward suicide first. Which it probably will. In the meantime, she practices poetry.
{Time for a new PC, I think.}
AH: A pity, in my mind, but up to you.
AV: Hey, if something happens to change Shojiro's situation, she'll react. But as things stand, there is certain death on either side of the corridor, and she'll suffer a fate worse than death if her soul is seperated from her body.

Sitting in one place and waiting for the situation to change is really the optimal choice, from her perspective. That doesn't make for a good PC, though.

XILRAXOCHITL

Subject: [Crypts] Please Don't Quit
AH: I know it's frustrating, but that's just because you've ended up in a couple bad situations in quick succession. I have actually got a plan to get your character back (and whole) with the rest of the group. Why don't you just take a break for day or two, and when you feel ready to come back Xil (or Grognar, your choice) will be good as new?
…
S: DON'T GO!!


Your characters are the most entertaining and don't afraid of nobody! Their the only reason I read the Crypts of Chaos!

Besides, your mummy character has more leg-room now that she have no legs!!

Subject: [Crypts] In the ground where the dead devils go...
AH: 'Xochitl, preceded by her skeleton, descends the steep steps. Nothing arouses her unnatural senses, nothing to indicate that any of the fiendish skeletons hanging in the walls are anything but bones and gristle. After perhaps three dozen steps, she sees the darkness part in front of her - the skeleton has passed through a black velvet curtain into a lit chamber. From the other side comes the sounds of...scratching.
AV: Drawing her sword, the mummy magically heats the blade before pushing the fabric aside and looking into the room.
AH: The drape quickly catches fire from the heated blade, and in moments is consumed, leaving a man-sized hole for 'Xochitl to walk through.

The room is roughly hewed from the stone, with crude, low-hanging and narrow doorways leading off suggesting further chambers. Shallow shelves and pits carved into wall and floor are stacked with scrolls and bones, mostly horned skulls, and more skulls are draped from the ceiling on cold iron hooks, where they burn with a yellow flame that illuminates the chamber.

In the center of the room is a small, thin, blond-haired human seated at a desk - or at least, humanoid, for his features and proportions do not seem entirely right - is seated at a desk, copying a scroll with a bone pen. He is dressed in dark pants and a white formal shirt with short sleaves, and a long, thin black leather tie hangs from his collar. He rises from the desk as 'Xochitl enters, and the dread mummy hears the rattle and scrape of a chain on the floor. Above the empty smile he offers are haunted eyes as he greets her.

"Sister, have you heard the good news?"
AV: Silently, 'Xochitl resolves that making an appropriate entrance is going to be important if there is an organized presence here.

Smiling, the mummy advances. Her red eyes glow with the full force of her Gaze of Despair. Spiders from the swarms under her command scuttle between her bandages and around her feet as she walks into the room, more scurrying up the drapes and walls until a small number hang from the ceiling.

Zombified bats flutter in after her, perching on her shoulders and hanging from the ceiling. Xilraxochitl speaks in her stage voice, letting the sound echo through the room.

"I have heard a great deal of good news since I arrived here. This is a pleasant place, even nicer than my home. But I still wish to hear more. I might even wish to find a House of Tears if any existed in this benighted place."

Xilraxochitl inhales deeply, and then sighs in satisfaction.

"I have heard whispers about a place of pain and prolonged death, a place where demons were torn to pieces and used as decorations. Have I found this place? Can you tell me where I might scent more incarnate souls, wrapped in Abyssal flesh? It has been too long since I challenged a Tanar'ri."
AH: The hollow-eyed, smiling soul before you continues once you've finished talking. "Do you think this world has problems? Would you like to hear about His solution, and be a part of His heavenly kingdom?"
AV: The swarms of undead continue to advance, a few creeping towards the entrances to other rooms.

"Problems? This world is static, unchanging, boring. I have a few solutions in mind, but you may certainly articulate yours." A small puff of necrotic miasma floats out of 'Xochitl's nostrils.

"But I hope your solutions involve finding the fiends that dwell in these crypts. I have... business there."
AH: "Have you been lied to?" The hollow-eyed man asks, and 'Xochitl realizes he hasn't blinked for several minutes. "Few experiences hurt more than learning that someone you trust has lied to you. You might feel humiliated, angry, or even betrayed. Lies destroy friendships and marriages; they defraud people of countless millions of gold pieces. Imagine, then, how you would feel if you learned that you had been lied to about the Mad God." The man is rocking back and forth on his heels now, the chain links scraping on the floor in time with his movement.
AV: Xochitl snorts in amusement.
"Everyone lies if they can manage it. I only trust the undead, and then only if they are being instructed not to speak falsely by a rightful master. You should always be ready for old orders to rearrange themselves.

The Mad God is powerful, and it has brought me here. It probably wants to advance the cause of Chaos and escape to other planes. From where I'm standing, those are all I really need to know."
AH: The hollow-eyed man continues to prattle on, all smiles and talk of redemption and forgiveness and light, and how there is no hell...and then (Spot check made) 'Xochitl notices the tentacle slip from around the back of it's neck... If the man notices that 'Xochitl has noticed, however, he doesn't show it. Now he's picked up several of the parchments and is encouraging 'Xochitl to read them together with him.
AV: 'Xochitl grins as her spiders swarm over the general area the tentacle appeared and her bats take flight throughout this and the adjoining rooms, looking for life to extinguish.
AH: As the human moves slightly, still proffering the papers, 'Xochitl catches a flash of the back of his head - which appears to have been almost wholly caved in, hidden 'til now by the angle he stood at. There is a dark, gaping hole edged with green goo at the top of his neck, and into this hole the thin green tentacle 'Xochitl saw retreats. From the back room comes flashes of lights and the dread mummy feels her connection with some of the spider swarm has been suddenly severed.

The human still smiles, mouthing nonsense. "Have you seen the light, sister?"
AV: Xilraxochitl opens her mouth and blows a cloud of locusts to obscure the back room so it will be difficult to target her with spells. Then she blasts the man with her Breath of Death.
AH: When 'Xochitl finishes spewing the storm of sand and dust the human is still standing there, smiling vacantly, even with his clothes ripped to shreds. He lays his hands on the desk and you swear you see his head bulge as his jaw unhinges at an impossible angle and he spews forth a cone of caustic slime. 'Xochitl instinctively tries to dodge but the confines of the room are too narrow and she feels it burn (8 hp damage).

From somewhere in the backroom 'Xochitl hears a roar, and the sound of heavy crashing footsteps.
AV: Xilraxochitl nods in satisfaction.
"And to think we could have avoided this if you just answered the fucking question."
She projects another locust swarm to engulf the man, instructs the spiders to burrow into his head and kill the creature inside, and then bounds back up the stairs (Move, plus maneuver for Swift Action jump)

Subject: [Crypts] 'Xochitl's nefarious scheme (small-time, edition 1)
AV: Does Xilraxochitl think she can invoke Control Winds to scatter the remnants of Jesrula and remove the phoenix amulet bomb before it goes off?
AH: I can't tell you the outcome, but yes you could create a blast of strong wind if you want to attemp that. However, that would be an action not spent running away.


Subject: [Crypts]Da spellblade
AH: When the rapier handle passes into her hand, 'Xochitl feels a voice in her head. Fireball (metamagic/energy/electric-sonic) online.
AV: Xilraxochitl mentally responds with a wordless request for additional information, especially how the target of the effect is determined and what the trigger for activating the magic is.
AH: The only response is Fireball (metamagic/energy/electric-sonic) online.

[Avoraciopoctules]

And this should be the last of them, I think.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


Subject: [Crypts]Petitioning
AH: As 'Xochitl becomes aware of the gaze of the creature in the other circle, so does she feel an intrusive voice penetrate into her mind.

PETITIONER. WHAT GIFT DO YOU SEEK HERE?
AV: 'Xochitl raises an eye at this, but sticks to her plan, speaking Infernal as she articulates her positin.
<"I am looking for allies as I build a base of power. I am looking for enemies, that I may revel in their undoing and gain strength from their loss. I am looking for quests, so I can establish credibility as someone worth caring about and have favors owed to me.

I was told I could find at least one of those here.">
AH: TAKE MY GIFT, AND I WILL GLADLY GIVE YOU THE QUEST YOU SEEK.

The voice lingers in 'Xochtil's head. As an undead, she is not used to this...mind to mind contact.
AV: <"And what manner of gift might that be? Are you sure that you do not wish to accept my gift? You seem trapped. I might be able to offer freedom... of a sort. I can certainly offer great power to those with plenty of time on their hands.">
AH: YOU HAVE NOT THE POWER TO RELEASE ME, LITTLE WORM. BUT I CAN GRANT YOU STRENGTH AND PURPOSE - POWER TO SERVE ME, AND SERVE YOURSELF. YOU ALREADY POSSESS CONSIDERABLE PHYSICAL STRENGTH, BUT I CAN GRANT YOU MORE. OR EXPAND OUR DARK INTELLECT, OR MAKE YOU FASTER, MORE AGILE. PERHAPS YOU WISH FOR GREAT WISDOM, OR THE ALLURE OF DARK ENCHANTMENT? ANY OF THESE ARE GIFTS I COULD BESTOW UPON YOU, IF YOU WOULD FULFILL MY WILL.
AV: <"I'm a free agent. A mercenary and deniable asset. If you aren't willing to engage my services on those terms, then we don't have anything to discuss until I enslave some of the conjurers on the surface that might be able to free you. Which I am willing to consider, by the way.">
AH: The demon smiles.

CONSIDER THIS A COMMISSION, THEN. CHOOSE ONE OF MY GIFTS TO ACCEPT AS PAYMENT, AND TAKE MY MISSION AS YOUR QUEST, AND WE BOTH WILL PROFIT.
AV: She shakes her head dismissively. <"You don't take a job from Mister Johnson blind. You want me steal something, or kill someone? I'd better be going in with some idea of what I'm dealing with. You want me to piss off Ashawhatsit the Fun-Hating Desert Lich by summoning a bunch of tornadoes? That's gonna need quite a bit of compensation.

I will accept one of your gifts upon the completion of this mission, if we actually take it. But I'm going to want straight-up information as our pre-payment. These dretches fucked up. I told them to find some fiends just a bit weaker than us to convert. But they threw me into the fucking wish economy instead. Prove to me that just one fiend in these Crypts is more than a frothing autist. Tell me where I can find an appropriate challenge I can actually fucking learn from.">
AH: Strange laughter echoes in 'Xochitl's skull.

THERE ARE NONE IN THE HOUSES OF SIN THAT DO NOT WISH FOR YOUR COMPLETE DESTRUCTION. YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A TOOL FOR THEM, LITTLE WORM. THEY CARE NOTHING FOR YOUR WANTS OR RULES, FOR THEY ARE THINGS OF CHAOS. YOU ARE DEAD, AND SOULLESS. WHAT HAVE YOU TO OFFER THEM THAT THEY COULD EVER DESIRE? YOUR SERVICE? BE NOT SO FOOLISH AS THAT. THERE IS ONLY ONE THING ANY OF US WANT, AND THAT LIES AT THE CENTER OF THE MAZE TO THE SOUTH. IF YOU WISH LAWFUL COMMERCE, TRY THE DEVILS IN HEL. BUT I PROMISE YOU, THEY WILL NOT BE AS SPORTING AS I.
Subject: [Crypts]Behind the Wall
AH: Watching carefully as the wall spins, 'Xochitl sees the whole wall rotate, and watches the gap - a couple inches of the strange metal, sandwiched between more stone.

You're in a bare alcove, lit from above by a glowing jewel or stone. Directly ahead of you is a small table, at which sits a figure in a dark cloak with the hood drawn up to hide their features in shadow. On the table, attached with small adamantine nails, are three ivory boxes of cards, set up with springs so that someone may rapidly deal them out. There is a complex figure etched onto the board, but less faded that you recall - some sort of complex geometric shape, with spaces for the cards. From the direction of the seated figure comes a breath as from a musty tomb, and it is only with difficulty you make out the words - "How many."

To the left of the seated figure, half-melted into shadow is a desert dwarf. Her skin is burnt almost black by the sun, gold hoops piercing her ears, and her easy smile show steel teeth. The dwarf's shadow seems to stretch back into the shadows of the alcove, as if it was afraid to let her go.
AV: 'Xochitl flips a lever. "Zero, thanks though."
AH: There is a clunking sound, and 'Xochitl feels the room rotate, spinning about an invisible axis. At the same time, the automaton draws three almost-transparent cards, one from each box, and lays them out on the table.

Subject: [Crypts]The continuing adventures of 'Xochitl...
AH: Will 'Xochitl go south (further along the path following the river of souls) or north (back out to the main cavern, where she can cross the arch)?
AV: If the paladin's trail continues south, she will follow it. Otherwise she'll go north and cross the arch.
AH: Sniffing, 'Xochitl notices that the trail does continue south.
AV: She follows, first conjuring a third skeleton in case she needs to test for traps ahead.
AH: 'Xochitl proceeds down the narrow path. Up ahead, she sees there is a turn in the path as the river bends to the east. She cannot see the path beyond this spur. On the other "bank" of the river there is a cup-like depression that has been cut out of the wall, which has been carved into a strange shrine, crude figures of halo'd skeletons with bird-like wings carved into the stone. 'Xochitl can see a figure apparently kneeling on one knee in front of the shrine; the grey cloak looks very much like the drow paladin's.
AV: "WHAT UP, G?" Xil directs Bonesy to go ahead and find a way to the cloaked figure, telling it to tap her on the shoulder and get in the way if she tries to attack.

The wasps fly up overhead and slightly past the shrine, ready to swoop down and attack at Xil's command.
AH: {The wasps were destroyed back at the other room.}

The skeleton wanders down to the bend, where the river narrows to only six feet across - short enough to jump - but a flash of light and a thunderous retort comes out from behind the bend, smashing the skull to pieces and sending the skeleton falling into the river.

The kneeling figure gives no indication of hearing either 'Xochitl's shout or the shot.
AV: {Wait, what? Didn't she call them back to safety when the statue started glowing?}

Xil shakes her head in disappointment. "YOU GUYS ARE THE UNCIVILIZED FUCKS WHO STARTED THIS. ALL I WANTED WAS AN APOLOGY. NOW IT LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT BE TIME TO GET SERIOUS."

She summons a bat swarm at the corner, then moves after it, stopping right before she comes into shooting range.
AH: {The wasps didn't make it.} "Apology f'r what?" A voice shouts around the corner.

The bats swarm around the ceiling. The kneeling figure does not move, but this close 'Xochitl can see there is something strange about the shrine - the centerpiece is an elongated skull with eyes and teeth set with gems, wearing a triple-crown of iron, gold, and silver.
AV: "SHOOTING MY FRIENDS, OF COURSE. I SWEAR, THREE QUARTERS OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS PLANE HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS OF BABOONS WITH CEREBRAL PALSY"

With the bats to cover her, Xil pokes her head around the corner of the wall, ready to use a spell-like ability from cover. The specific one she invokes this round depends on the situation on the other side.
AH: There is an ominous click from behind 'Xochitl.

"Don't turn around if you value yer haid," the voice says. "What's all this about friends? I never shot nothin' here 'cept demons...and the un-daid...an' un-daid demons."
AV: "Undead are people too, you fucking bigot. I was in the middle of a sensitive social experiment that could have given great insight into how a demon can be slowly dissuaded from following Chaos or Evil. And then some idiot goes 'HURR', and shoots my converts in the face without a word after I make FUCKING peaceful overtures! AARGH! What the hell is wrong with you, huh?"

Xil begins to slowly turn around.
AH: There is an explosive bang and a handful of bats explode in front of 'Xochitl.

"I said don't turn 'round. Now seems to me what we got here is a misunderstandin'. I'm as willin' to let you go your way an' we'll go ours, providin' you keep your bushwackin' necromancin' bony ass on a separate trail."

There's another click. "Or we can throw down right now. What say yew?"
AV: Thankfully, this shot and paragraph probably mean Xilraxochitl finishes turning around in time to use Earthquake to bury the two paladins and much of the river of souls in rubble. She'll use her swift-action jump maneuver to get clear of any ectoplasmic splash.
AH: An earthquake has an 80 foot radius spread; if you center it anywhere near you there's no way you're going to be able to jump clear of it.
AV: Move action is like 20 feet in armor. Jump could double that. What's the width of the river and the amount of land before hitting wall behind gun guy?

Probably enough that Xil will only have to dig herself out of a few squares of rubble.
AH: You're on a narrow path (2 feet wide) with a guy with a gun drawn directly behind you. There's not really enough room to run past him, and unless I'm missing something a Jump check isn't going to double your base speed, and even if it did that would only be 40 feet and you'd still have another 40 feet to go to get out of the range of your own earthquake.

At the moment 'Xochitl is at the bend of the river, where it is only 6 feet wide, and the ceiling is about 8 feet high; the river is about two feet below the shelf of stone 'Xochitl is standing on. It is about 120 feet total back to the entrance (north); she's not sure how much further it goes south-west.
AV: If he's directly behind me rather than across the river, I cAn't MiSs.

aAhHAHAAAHAAAHAAA
{In OOC Thread: R U SRS? Yes, Xil is. Clarification of target area, with visual aids.}
AH: 'Xochitl looks back, over the shoulder of the man-thing holding the gun pointed at her head, focusing on a point just over eight feet away - and the earth moves beneath her feet. A visible ripple seems to shake the surrounding stone, and the shelf beneath beneath him ripples and collapses. 'Xochitl's sight of his final moments is blocked by the falling stone, which also encompasses the nearby shrine.

In moments, it is over, and the air grows stuffy and still. 'Xochitl is alone on her side of the collapse with her skeleton and swarm of undead wasps, the route back a solid wall of rubble. The stone path and the river wend south-west, the ectoplasm slinking between the gaps in the stones.
AV: Xilraxochitl chuckles quietly and checks the soul trap. Then she begins to dig through the rubble, tossing loose stones into the ectoplasmic river. If it begins to rise higher, however, she aborts that plan and begins to punch a tunnel leading around the river and cave-in.

Her minions are to guard the rear, keeping anything from attacking out of the unexplored territory.
AH: 'Xochitl checks the ghosttrap, but sees no difference - either they did not die or did not catch. Stowing it back, she proceeds to shift the rubble, placing it on the trail behind her. The skeleton, taking its cue from 'Xochitl's action, does its best to help.
AV: Again, Xil orders all surviving minions to guard the rear while she digs so she doesn't get surprise-attacked.

Realizing that the gunslinger fell down through a collapsing floor, Xilraxochitl digs down as much as forward.
AH: After some minutes of digging, 'Xochitl uncovers the stranger's wide-brimmed leather hat, which has somehow become unnaturally half-embedded in the stone. It reminds her of a tree she had once seen that had grown around an iron fence.
AV: "Unless this thing's got a pocket plane he can hide in, not what I'm looking for. But I'm on the right track."
She has Bonesy keep hold of it while she digs.

Subject: [Crypts] Urist McXochitl digs...
AH: {Whenever you're back}

With the patience of the undying, 'Xochitl has carved away at the fallen rock with her bare hands. She has uncovered no additional sign of the paladins so far - {Int check} given the state of the hat she discovered, at least one of them must have magic that allows them to pass through stone, and so perhaps they have escaped her thus far. Then again, such magic generally has a very limited range...

'Xochitl has now cleared a path to the entrance of the side chamber (with the glowing blue statue and the three orbs atop the three small pyramids), her faithful undead minions following along behind her; the path forward back into the larger cavern appears clear.
AV: Having determined that the paladins have yet another trick in their wide variety of arbitrary escape mannerisms, 'Xochitl contemplates letting them go so she can come back with a better idea of what she faces next round. Then she remembers that the gun guy can equally arbitrarily sneak up on her when she is on guard and sniffing the air with her preternaturally boosted sense of smell active. She cannot afford to let them escape, and she will probably have the advantage if things turn into a straightforward shootout after she punches a fist-sized hole in the wall of wherever they hide. To avoid getting a bullet in the skull after she turns back, she has to press her advantage now.

Xil continues to dig after the paladins, using her sense of smell to point herself in the right direction. However, she takes a moment to thrust her fingers through the eyesockets of each skeleton to confirm the skulls are empty and they are not living paladins under some kind of illusion that dampens their scent and the sound of them breathing.
AH: {Int check} 'Xochitl reasons that the same stone-melding magic that allowed the gunslinging paladin to escape might also have allowed him to get the drop on the dread mummy.

After wiggling her fingers through the skeleton's eye sockets just to be safe, 'Xochitl sniffs the air - and catches the scent of the paladins to the south; {Wis check} they must have used their earth-walk or whatever to double back as 'Xochitl burrowed in the other direction. But it is unlikely they counted on her keen sense of smell; if she is careful this time perhaps she will have the advantage of surprise...
AV: Smirking faintly, the mummy licks her dry tongue over her withered lips and begins to creep back towards the paladins, ready to cast a sunbeam when she can catch both of them in the blast. She has her servants stay behind and make noise digging through the rocks to cover her advance. She can't risk the clatter of bones or buzz of wings tipping off the enemy that she's realized their location.
AH: 'Xochitl creeps as silent as she can, back along the path, the river of souls below her and to her right. The corridor bends and shifts, but 'Xochitl believes it is still heading south and east. Tiny gargoyles and idols have been etched out of the living stone along the path, some festooned with long-ago offerings - undecayed fingers, eyes, teeth and horns, scraps of hide, and small bowls of fabulous blood that shines wet and fresh beneath a layer of dust. All the while the paladins' scent grows stronger, and at last 'Xochitl hears their voices - the drow's strangely high-pitched, like a young boy or girl, the gunslinger's raspy and with a drawl. All 'Xochitl's senses tell her they must be just around the next bend - even the dust on the path is disturbed with their tracks.

{Change of PM title, but still same exchange}

Subject: [Crypts]If only I could be so Grossly Incandescent
AV: A moment's trepidation strikes her, but Xil is committed now. Unless they say something that gives her pause, she leans around the corner and fires the ray of brilliant solar energy from her eyes. If possible, she catches both of them in the line of the spell, hoping to damage and blind them to soften them up for her all-out attack. However, she avoids making herself an easier target by leaving cover. Her gaze attack is active.
AH: 'Xochitl pops her head around the corner, eyes blazing. The paladins are standing beside a shallow stair or ladder that has been carved into the wall, leading up to a trap door in the ceiling. The full force of her searing light catches the gunslinger, who is frozen, unable to draw his weapon or even look away, glaring back at 'Xochitl with cold rage in his eyes as his skin blisters and peels. The drow too seems blinded, tears streaming from her eyes, but she throws out her hand and screams a word; the dread mummy sees the word roll and twist from her mouth, taking shape and form to itself before exploding into a veil of darkness between you.
AV: "Craven Fools! You could have had an honorable battle, with quarter given! You could have had peace! But you refused to apologize for your rudeness, and now you will know what a pissed-off Bad Pharaoh's wrath is like. AHAHAHAHAAAA!"

Xil summons a swarm of bats, and then ducks low as she creeps forward, drawing a weapon and sniffing as she lets her minions take the lead.
AH: 'Xochitl can see nothing in the supernatural darkness, but her grasping hands close on the flesh of the gunslinging paladin, still frozen from the power of her glare.
AV: Standing, she presses her lips against his and tugs his mouth open in an obscene parody of a kiss. Then she breathes the Breath of Death out, the entire cone of necrotic miasma forced down his throat and into his belly and lungs.

Her eyes blaze with dark triumph as she imagines the righteousness suffusing his soul crumbling into ashes as the dark magic suffuses him.
AH: The body literally collapses into 'Xochitl's arms, becoming only so much dead weight.

From up above, there is the grating sound of stone on stone.
AV: Xil sniffs a bit, and listens to the sound of the bats as they squeak and pounce at the elf full of delicious blood.

If the elf is still nearby, she grabs her, knocks away the holy sword, and then drags both of them away from the grinding stone.

If the elf is the one who fled up through the trapdoor, Xil decides that the paladin must be on familiar ground to have escaped so cleanly, and she flees with her shiny new antipaladin candidate over her shoulder.
AH: The bats squeak, but from the sound of it - and warm, yeasty, drow-tainted breeze falling from below - it seems that the drow paladin fled up the stair/ladder. 'Xochitl grabs the limp gunslinger and retreats back north/west, following the line of the river of souls.
AV: Xilraxochitl hurries back to the undead minions, hoping to see a few reassuring deaths-heads before the paladin reanimates.
AH: 'Xochitl leaves the radius of the darkness after twenty feet, the paladin's corpse still hanging over her shoulder. On her hip, she notices that one of the cylinders of the soultrap has taken on a bluish-white glow.
AV: "Ah, nuts. I guess he was too pure to zombify, got special training to extend disease resistance or something. Not too much of a stretch, since he did seem to hate undead."

Weapon sheathed, she holds the soultrap in her free hand and tries to feel her options with the trapped spirit.

"Hmm. It's been a long time since I ate a soul. Damn fiends always called dibs first..."
AH: {Oh, 'Xochitl gets 2250 XP for the gunslinging paladin.}
AV: {Nice, just 175 to go.}

When Xilraxochitl returns to her minions, she checks on their progress digging through to the other side. Then she loots the paladin's possessions.
AH: The skeleton you left behind has been stacking rocks; the path to the larger cavern is already clear.

On the paladin's corpse you find:
1 set of curious leather armor (long coat, pants, &c.)
1 black metal ring that looks familiar
2 pistols - one silver and one cold iron, each inscribed with Celestial verses that make 'Xochitl's eyesockets itch
1 bag of bullets (little more than led slugs, 42 left)
1 belt of bullets (13, each silver-tipped and inscribed with a separate Celestial heiroglyph)
1 large, heavily inscribed gold coin
1 bag of rations (3 iron rations, 1 bottle of water)
1 fat-bladed knife in a buckleather sheath; it is plain and unadorned
1 wide-brimmed leather hat
1 flint & steel
1 small mirror
AV: After thoroughly stripping the body, Xil carves prayers in Abyssal and Infernal into the skin using her Shiv of Doom and has a minion carry the nude, decoratively etched body. She plans to leave it in the desert to mummify next time she gets to the surface.

Xil leads her minions towards the lair of the Weaponer, taking a decent bridge if they find it but otherwise getting ready to punch a climbing route when they hit an appropriate wall.
AH: Where the river of souls enters the tunnel at the base of the souther wall of the cavern there is a natural arch of stone - an easy enough means to cross from the eastern to the western side of the river.
AV: In a good mood after having dealt with the gunslinger, Xil decides to try her luck her as well. She summons a new skeleton, then orders it over the arch. If there is no trouble, she crosses the arch next, then has minions cross one by one.
AH: The new skeleton, based on its attributes, was a dwarf in its past life, with an unusually-shaped skull that suggests it came from a culture that practiced headbinding. It clambers slowly over the arch on 'Xochitl's orders, and comes to no harm, so 'Xochitl and her crew follow suit.

On the western bank the ground is noticeably less rocky, the stone eroded and covered in a spongy, damp soil that begins thing and brownish grey, but thickens as it goes on towards the east into a lumpy black loam that supports massive outcroppings of tiny mushrooms and shelf-fungi. There is no discernable path, but 'Xochitl can clearly see the dark mass of the tower from which the banging clang of the hammer emanates some ways away.
AV: Smiling, Xil decides to announce her approach by whistling casually as she strolls in the structure's direction. She puts away her knife so her approach looks vaguely peaceful, but keeps her hands near her weapons. The new skeleton takes point, about 10 feet ahead of everyone else.
AH: Following the path of the river back north, 'Xochitl comes once more to the remnants of the bridge, and finds the rubble-strewn trail of some ancient road that leads directly past the clanging edifice. So, with the dwarf-skeleton still taking point, 'Xochitl heads west.

As she approaches 'Xochitl observes the structure is large - at least sixty feet talle, as though a house or squat tower sized for a giant, and built of cyclopean black stones whose glassy surface seems oddly free of the fungus life. Facing the road is an opening, a massive open lintel formed by a large stone laid across two massive upright ones. The banging is louder here, and seems to emanate from within.
AV: Xil speaks in her stage voice.

"Yes, this certainly looks like the place. Well, I guess the Yugoloth was trustworthy after all. For the time being, at least. Taking out those paladins should be much easier now if I have any luck.

Minions, stay outside. It's rude to visit with warriors at your back."

She advances toward the entrance alone.
AH: 'Xochitl steps inside, not needing to let her eyesight adjust to the dark, and finds herself...in a vast, open chamber, cordoned off into squares and rectangles by glowing strips of light set into the floor. A small bell gongs as 'Xochitl steps in, and a six-foot tall lizardperson wearing a pink and red plaid dress-like garment looks up and begins to wander in 'Xochitl's direction, following a glowing blue line on the floor toward a stone "desk" located at the edge of the small yellow-limned square that 'Xochitl is in.

Looking beyond the desk 'Xochitl can see the massive bulk of a thirty-foot tall bipedal lizard, its feathery scales a deep crimson in color, the disproportionately small arms holding a set of half-giant-sized hammer and tongs as it beats on cherry-hot metal atop a very tall anvil. Around it and arranged at suitable height are various tools, weapons, metal implements, and bits of armor; near it's waist is what appears to be a natural volcanic edifice, glowing with heat, and piled on the floor are stacks of metal bars and strange arcane devices. In different "squares" nearer the front entrance are hints of domesticity - a large nest, a kitchen area, what appears to be a library and a loom...

The smaller lizardperson arrives at the desk, claws clacking on the stone floor. You notice disconcertingly that the lizardperson has an enlarged skull and has a third, black eye situated in the middle of its forehead.
"Yessss... How may we help you?"
AV: Xil smiles at the lizardperson, tuning her doomgaze down for the time being. "Hello! I'm a contractor working for the Yugoloth, looking for the Weaponer. I have a chit for him, and a message for his wife.

I might also have a few enchanted weapons I'm looking to trade, but business comes before pleasure."
AH: "My husssband isss working at the forge." The lizardperson says. "Ssshow me thisss chit." She holds out one scaled paw, palm up. The claws are tipped with metal, and painted pink.
AV: Xil inclines her head, and then passes over the stone tablet.
AH: The lizardess studies the tablet for some time, bobbing her head gently. "I will fetch the itemsss." She says. "Pleasssse placccce the armor you wisssh enchanted on the desssk." So saying she turns and issues a throaty cough to her husband, who stops his hammering, then turns and follows an orange line to a series of shelves sectioned off into cubbyholes; about half of them contain wrapped bundles, all of them hold tags, which she appears to be comparing with the chit.

A booming sound precedes the arrival of the massive red scaled form of the Weaponer, his jaws large enough to gulp 'Xochitl down in one bite. Like his wife, the Weaponer's head is bizarrely enlarged and bulbous for its form, with a massive dinner-plate sized black orb in the middle of its forehead. The massive creatures bundles along following the blue line, then bends down practically double to stare down at 'Xochitl from only a head or two higher. It's lips pull back revealing dagger-like teeth that have been replaced or sheathed with different metals - 'Xochitl thinks it's trying to smile.
AV: Xilraxochitl smiles back as she strips off the armor, throwing on the gunslinger's coat afterwards.

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Xilraxochitl the Heartless. Showed up in the Crypts a few cycles ago, and I'm starting to think it was quite the stroke of luck. I don't mean to tell you your business, but I should warn that the armor's blades are pretty sharp. Easy to get cut if one isn't careful."
AH: The Weaponer nods, then fishes under the desk for a moment and returns with a pair of oversized spectacles that it fixes on the end of its snout. It's surprisingly dextrous claws handle the scale armor and leather coat with care.

"Thisss vill take a little vile." the Weaponer hisses. "But I can vork mit disss material. You vait right here. Mizzus take care you, ozzkay?"

With that, the giant reptile picks up the armor, carefully turns around - 'Xochitl ducks to avoid the tail - and trundles back along the blue line toward the forge.
AV: Xil fastens the remainder of the gunslinger's leather armor in place, stretches, and sighs in satisfaction.

"That was nice armor, but the chance to wear something more flexible is also pleasant. Hard to run when you're covered in razors."

She turns to regard the smaller lizardperson. "So, how's business? I hope I find you in good health?"
AH: The smaller lizardperson returns with a small, heavy bundle wrapped in what looks like shed scales, tied tightly with twine. "The package for the client." She lays it on the desk, then reaches beneath it and brings forth a bowl of sugar sweets that look like blood-red rubies. "I'm fine," she says, patting her tummy "Be laying in a few weeksss. Have a sssweet. Good for undead."
AV: "How kind."

Xil picks up a sweet between two fingers, then pops it into her mouth.

"Does your business have any use for holy weapons? I've been hunting paladins, and they generally carry treasure I'm interested in disposing of rather than holding onto."
AH: As the sweet dissolves in her mouth, 'Xochitl feels an invigorating surge of negative energy. {Heals 6 points of damage.}

"We trade sssometimes." The lizardess replies. "If good metal."
AV: Xil nods. "Good to know."

She lifts the package for the Yugoloth, tilting it to look at the object from a few different angles.

"Interesting. But probably better for me not to pry. The Bad Pharaohs can show discretion when it is called for."

She stows the object with her stuff, safely apart from the paladin's equipment, and then settles in for a wait. She inventories her loot as she sits, and offers the lizardess the paladin's metal knife as a gift.
AH: The lizardess gives it a thorough inspection, including licking it, and gives it a hiss of approval. She settles in to do some knitting while her husband works. 'Xochitl sees him bent over the anvil with what for all the world look's like the biggest jeweler's coup ever and a tiny chisel and hammer.
AV: Xil strolls out, makes sure her minions are all still present, and then comes backs in to wait for her armor.
AH: Hours pass. In time, the tink of metal on glass stops, and the thudding footsteps of the Weaponer reverberate once more on the floor. He lays the knee-length leather jacket on the desk - it is now dyed or burned black, and the crimson scales from the old armor have been incorporated into it, forming strange designs, the whole thing decorated with twisting runes of dark power and protection in strands of black gold.

"Isss goot now." The Weaponer hisses, bending down to nuzzle the lizardess a little with his snout. "Much protection. Contract done! You bring package to Yug-yug right avay." The lizardess for her part has knitted 'Xochitl a brightly colored cap, and offers a small satchel of bloodsweets (20).
AV: Xilraxochitl is pleasantly surprised at the generosity of the artisans. She thanks them profusely, switches into her shiny new armor, and heads out for the Yugoloth as soon as minions and loot have been assembled.
AH: {Because of the craftsmanship and materials, the leather longcoat has the effective armor qualities of a breastplate; adjust AC accordingly.}

Skeletons and undead wasp swarm in tow, 'Xochitl heads out of the tower, which fills with strange hisses as she leaves. Outside, the cavern is dim as ever, though the mist has mostly settled to a thick fog on the ground. Sounds of battle come from some distance in the west, though given how sound travels in these caverns it could be several chambers away from where 'Xochitl stands on the ruined road leading to the broken bridge over the river of souls.
AV: "Tempting. Sorely tempting. But I need to do my job first. Minions, attack the survivors of the fight and guard their possessions until I return. If you wasps take significant damage, retreat into the darkness and wait for me to return, so you can guide me after the remainder when I return.

If someone falls unconscious, rather than dying, and the fighting is over, bandage their wounds so I can finish them off when I get back."

Xil heads off towards the Yugoloth, now alone.
AH: The skeletons and swarm head east, following the sounds of battle on 'Xochitl's order.

{Assuming the dread mummy follows the river of souls south to use the same arch of stone to cross the river.}

As 'Xochitl approaches the arch, she catches a whiff of something...not the paladin, and not a demon or devil, for she has the scent of those, but something mammalian with an undertone of corruption. It smells oddly familiar, but she cannot place it. Whatever it is, it wasn't there the last time she was this way...
AV: "I can sense you. Come out of hiding, wouldn't you? Or does Bones McCoy need to dig you out for me?"

Xil drops the etched body of the paladin and summons a skeleton near the source of the odor.
AH: The skeleton appears at the foot of the bridge, as the smell seems to emanate from near the mouth of the tunnel, a thin specimen dressed in the rags of nobility. Yet nothing emerges to 'Xochitl's taunt. She can smell that something was here, at least, and might be here still, but if it is hidden it is so well-hidden that she cannot spot whatever the source is.
AV: "Vamp! Go!"

Xil calls the skeleton closer to her as the summoned bloodsucker swarm appears over the bridge.
AH: The bats swarm all over the arch of stone, but nothing leaps out of hiding.
AV: Xil frowns, takes the hand of the skeleton, and begins to cross the bridge. The plan is that she can use it for balance if something tries to knock her off.
AH: Midway across the arch of stone, 'Xochitl smells fear, and a human male steps out of the shadow of the tunnel, carrying a bronze axe. The man is dressed rough and plain, like a peasant, but is as burly as a blacksmith. Even in the relative warmth of this cavern he is in a cold sweat, and swallows once before speaking loud enough for 'Xochitl to hear.

"I am sorry for this friend, but I have no choice. You are surrounded by foes seen and unseen. Leave the package and you may go in peace and without harm."

He takes up a stance at the end of the arch of stone, blocking the path.
AV: "Give a more coherent argument, friend. I'm a hero, danger is kind of in the job description. I'm also really good at jumping. Try an ethical appeal, maybe, but consider that I'm a hero of Evil first."

The skeleton in front to absorb attacks, Xil gauges the distance from the apex of the arch to the shore.
AH: "You don't understand...they have my brother." The man says. "They'll kill him unless I deliver the package. It cannot mean anything to you. Please. Lay it down, and I won't have to hurt you."

'Xochitl stands on the apex of the arch, about eight feet above the ground; laterally either shore is about ten feet from where 'Xochitl stands - however, the man with the axe blocks one path; if 'Xochitl tried to jump over or next to him that would be a greater distance - and that from a standing jump.
AV: Xil smiles. "Deliver it to whom? The Yugoloth? Is this some kind of twisted test?"

She summons a skeleton on the shore, so it can move into a flanking position if a fight breaks out. 1 spell left for the day.
AH: A strange tittering laughter echoes from within the cavern. The man seems unmoved by the skeleton - whatever he's afraid of, the undead doesn't seem to be one of them.

"Like no daemon I've ever seen. A foulness I had never imagined. It calls itself...Shojiro. Though I do not think that is its name, but some private joke. The others..." The main stares fixedly at 'Xochitl, not above or below, or to either side. "...they are not as bad, but each is terrible in their way. There are four of them, I know, but I have only seen two - a giantess and a dwarf. I have seen them do things. Heard their plans. I do not know what you want here stranger, but you do not wish to be part of what they hope to do to those they feel have wronged them. Theirs is a baser evil than any I have ever known, and they have my brother. Please. Let us do this as civil men. Whatever is in the package, it can mean nothing to you."
AV: "Oh, this package means quite a bit to me. It's what I'm gonna use to create an army of fiends, who will help me take down some of the monsters that dwell here. We can rescue your brother, and leave the Crypts a little safer for mortals with Shojiro's darkness purged.

Whaddaya say? If you're worried about the hostage, I could bring him back as a freewilled undead if they near-kill him. Even if they take him out, I can catch his soul in my ghost trap and we can stick it in a new body, maybe better than his old one."
AH: The man seems to consider 'Xochitl's words. Then with a burst of almost supernatural speed he sprints up the bridge of stone, bronze axe cleaving through the skeleton separating the two of you, and carrying the blow through in a strike that slices off 'Xochitl's jaw and nearly takes her head with it. Whatever she said seems to have snapped something within the big man, and his eyes show only a cold rage as he raises the axe for another strike. Behind and beneath her, she feels a presence slip on the path - the reeking familiar stench that first warned her this might be a trap...

{'Xochitl takes 4 hp of damage, and anything requiring a verbal component is out until the damage is healed. Breath and gaze weapons are still accessible however, and it's her turn.}
AV: Xil's remaining facial nerves twitch her into an amused smile as she activates her gaze and lets the bats engulf the two of them. The skeleton moves in with a flanking attack before she uses a Tiger Claw maneuver, thrusting at him with her rapier (not letting the bomb go off) and kicking with one leg.
AH: The man doesn't even grunt in pain as the bats swoop in on them, and continues to stare 'Xochitl right in the eye sockets as the skeleton grabs his shoulders from behind, claws digging in to the hard muscles there, and then 'Xochitl's rapier comes up and takes a piece out of him. Holding the bronze axe blade by the handle he jabs the spiked tip into 'Xochitl's sternum and begins to move, frog-marching her backwards down the slope and into the waiting embrace of whatever slithered up behind here. A shroud of something dark and foul wraps itself around 'Xochitl.
{'Xochitl takes 1 point of damage from the bat swarm, and is now on the western edge of the river of souls, at the base of the bridge, and is being grappled by an unseen foe.}
AV: {Wait a second. It shouldn't even be possible for Xil to take damage from a bat swarm. Damage is halved, then reduced by 5. Wasps might, since their max damage is 12 and that would be reduced to 1. Speaking of which.}

Xil's entire body flares with dark power as the hungry magic of Abaddon takes form. Thousands of varied black insects glowing red with evil power form in a wide circle around her.

{Pathfinder Creeping Doom. The 4 swarms are tightly packed around her, leaving her own space empty and cutting off retreat in any direction. Everything within 10 feet is going to take 4d6 damage per round. Hopefully the tentacle isn't more than 10 feet long.}
AH: {Right, bugger, forgot about damage reduction. No damage from the swarm. My bad.}

The swarms fill cover the bridge, the shore, the walls of the cavern, and a few even drop into the river of souls in a cascade of sizzle-pops. The thing holding 'Xochitl collapses almost immediately. The man is literally being eaten alive in front of 'Xochitl, and the pain and madness in his eyes tells you he knows he isn't going to survive this...but perhaps neither is 'Xochitl. The axe rises once again and comes down on 'Xochitl's left shoulder. {Crit! -8 hp} The axe imbeds itself into the stone of the bridge, even as 'Xochitl's left arm is cleaved from her shoulder, and falls into the river of souls.

Exhausted by his efforts, and reduced to almost a skeleton, 'Xochitl's opponent tugs twice trying to dislodge the blade before collapsing dead.

{'Xochitl gains 3250 XP.}
AV: "What a waste.. no what am I saying, that was fun, Fun, FUN! The death of a hero is a lovely thing." The sound comes out rather garbled without a jaw, but her glee is plain as she stands, sheathes her sword, tugs on the axe herself, and waves the surviving skeleton in after her arm.

Xil looks back toward the area her back-attacker came from, healing herself with Charnel Touch and starting to think about getting out of the deathtrap she put herself in.
AH: The thing on the floor behind 'Xochitl is...was...an empty grey skin, shredded almost to oblivion. It is difficult to tell what race it once belonged to, but it seems to have been dead for quite some time. There are patches of scales on it, and wisps of blue fur, and the right hand seems to be missing entirely.

The skeleton obediently steps into the river of souls, and collapses, disintegrating into fragments of necromantic energy that are swiftly swept away by the current. 'Xochitl's severed arm is nowhere to be seen.
AV: Xil frowns after reattaching her jaw.
"I'd better look into some replacement bits. If this axe is so good at lopping chunks off of people, I'll want a new arm so I can actually use it."

After tugging free the axe and checking for any other obvious loot, she cuts off the head of the skeletal remnants of the warrior, makes sure she is fully healed, then dashes through the cloud of mystically bolstered insects.

She swallows one of the blood sweets after passing through.
AH: {The bloodsweet heals 5hp of damage.}

Nothing stops 'Xochitl from achieving the eastern side of the river of souls, nor does anything challenge the one-armed dread mummy when she arrives on that side.
AV: Grunting in satisfaction, she begins to hastily move toward the Yugoloth's lair. She spends her last spell for the day on another skeleton to take point.
AH: As 'Xochitl makes her way up the rocky, fungus-strewn slope to the corridor entrance, she sees a bright flash from within. The skeleton she summoned to take point raises one hand, fist closed.

{Also, forgot to mention: 'Xochitl's soultrap now has two glowing vials.}
AV: 'Xochitl slows in surprise, reflexively reaching out to assure herself that the minion is under control. Then she summons a rat swarm near the corridor entrance and watches what they do as she advances.
AH: Bonesy the VI is just following orders, scouting ahead. No further flashes come from the corridor, and neither does the skeleton signal any danger. The rats - a pretty scrawny looking swarm in 'Xochitl's opinion, mainly females and younglings, not the battle-scarred veterans she's used to - mill about outside the entrance to the corridor, devouring whatever local fungi appears edible.
AV: Xil and Bonesy stride past the rats, heading onward toward the Yugoloth. There's no sport in killing civilians/noncombatants, and killing the rats won't advance her goals. There needs to be a new generation for her to terrorize, after all.

EDIT: She even tosses them one day of trail rations from the gunslinger's gear.
AH: The rats squabble over the rations as 'Xochitl hikes into the corridor. It is clear of intruders, though it smells...danker than she remembers, like wet cheese and brimstone. The smell increases as 'Xochitl walks eastwards and crosses the ravine - which is when she notices that the door to the Yugoloth Lord's chamber is slightly ajar.
AV: "I will be most displeased if that fellow's expired from the attentions of these 'enemies'. But it's probably just another guest."

Xil advances.
AH: The door is slightly ajar, revealing the black void that 'Xochitl had seen earlier. The smell of wet cheese and brimstone is much stronger here - the ammonia alone would probably overpower any living being that still hard organs to be offended by it. Out of the corner of her eye, 'Xochitl catches a flash of movement in Room 00, at the end of the corridor.
AV: "Hrrrmm. Someone's gone and made this complicated. I'll deal with YOU later."
Xil breathes out a swarm of poisonous wasps, who form into a cloud blocking off approach from Room 00. The cloud is placed 15 feet ahead of the Yugoloth's door, to slow down attackers from out of the chasm or other doors as well.
"Bonesy, slow them down if they charge through my roadblock. If I come back out, I'll zombify the bugs and investigate what's going on with the fire pool."

Xil pauses, somewhat troubled, but then steadies her resolve and elects not to slip on the familiar-looking ring the gunslinger paladin was wearing.
"This shouldn't turn into a bad fight if I watch myself. Best case, I don't fight at all, and I doubt it's worth risking some kind of curse for an edge."

Shoving open the door, the mummy places her remaining arm on the frame and leans into the room. "Hoy! Everything alright in here? I'd offer to give you a hand, but I'm gonna be a little short until I finish patching up, heh."

And then she silently hopes that she merely interrupted the boss's meeting with an Angel of Decay.
AH: The door opens at 'Xochitl's touch, revealing once more the seemingly endless void within - save this time, with no yugoloth ensconced on a throne of bone. The smell is absolutely rancid at this point. Nothing answers 'Xochitl's hails.
AV: "Yo! What up?"
Xil sighs, and then cuts off one of the paladin's arms. She runs her charnel touch up and down it, and then attempts to attach it where the ax lopped her old arm off.
"Stupid weapons of sharpness, fucking up your climbing abilities right before you actually need them."
If the repairs work, she begins to clamber down into the void, looking for the Yugoloth.
AH: {Sure, what the hell.}

'Xochitl attaches her new arm, then attempts to step into the void - only to smack into a solid floor.
AV: "Bwahahahaaa! Our 'loth is a showman, I see."

Xil places one hand on the illusion-shrouded wall, then follows it to trace the outlines of the room and find any doorways.
AH: Starting from the left, 'Xochitl traces the wall about five feet, finds a corner, and traces that about five feet before running into a soft barrier that seems to move at her touch, like cloth.
AV: Xil attempts to draw aside what she thinks is a curtain. She holds up the arm with the shield ring on it in the hopes that it can think to block even if it can't talk to her directly.
AH: 'Xochitl moves aside the curtain revealing...the back half of a 10' x 10' room. There is a small cot and a crude set of shelves set with books, a couple of battered chests, and a large wooden chair in front of a complex speaking-tube apparatus. Seated in the chair is something that might once conceivably have been a gnome - though it is now a quite alarming shade of purple and livid blue, all but the outlines of the corpse (and parts of the chair) consumed by a spectular and quite odiferous fungal growth with scarlet-spotted, vine-like tendrils that spill out onto the floor.
AV: "Oh my. The man behind the curtain? Let's see if I can kill off the parasite for you?"

Xil blasts the fungal mass with her breath weapon. Then she checks the contents of the package.
AH: The vibrant purple growth visible wilts and dessicates under the effect of 'Xochitl's breath, turning into a dull gray-mauve husk in the shriveled corpse of the gnome.

Tearing open the package, 'Xochitl discovers a largish, triangular dagger with a plain hilt and crossguard - though for a gnome, perhaps it would be considered a full sword. The blade is of a peculiar material that 'Xochitl has never seen before; it almost looks like black marble with the clear, creamy consistency of jade, almost invisible at the edges, but there are veins and flecks of several metals in there as well, some in strange whorls that seem almost unnatural.
AV: Xil idly pokes at the gnome's head with the strange dagger. "Oy. Surely you won't let the mold bring you so easy, eh? Show some fortitude. "
If the gnome doesn't respond, she tries prying open a few containers to see the kind of stuff in the room.
AH: The dagger's blade briefly changes color to an inky black when it touches the corpse, then back again as 'Xochitl pulls it away. A lick of black flame rises from the corpse, quickly consuming it and leaving only a pile of fine purple-gray ash.

One chest contains various foodstuffs - some so vile you wonder how the gnome survived on them, including what look's like a halfling child's arm that has been smoked and slightly gnawed on. The other contains eighteen cubes of different metals and crystals, arranged into artful designs. The shelf contains books, the bottom row all in Gnomish, the top row appearing to be spellbooks.
AV: Xilraxochitl hums in satisfaction at the knife's effects. "Might not be so bad not getting a demon army after all."

She leaves the objects for now, heading out to sweep the void room for other secrets. She clutches the knife in one hand.
AH: The rest of the room appears empty, save for the cunning illusion - even though 'Xochitl knows that the back room is there, the moment she steps beyond the curtain she finds herself in an empty void once more.
AV: "Hmmph. Well, I guess those enemies are pretty respectable after all. The oracle might like some of this stuff."

Xil shovels books and cubes into a sack, then hauls it out into the hall, hands it off to Bonesy, and then blasts the wasps with her breath weapon.

"To the fire pool! Let's see who was scurrying around!"

Subject: [Crypts]The Gnome Behind the Curtain: Addendum
AV: Before she leaves the gnome's room, Xilraxochitl carved a message into the wall.

"Jesrula wuz here"
{Sorry, I just had to}
AH: Back in Room 00
'Xochitl enters to find a gaggle of naked fiery cherubs dancing around the fire pool, singing a strange song...

Magmin Babies, we make our dreams come true
Magmin Babies, we'll do the same for you...

The Oracle is nowhere to be seen.
AV: Xil flips the gold coin she took off the paladin from one hand to the other, and then sniffs at the air. "Somebody here that can take a message for the boss?"

If she doesn't get a response or find an interesting scent to chase, she heads back toward the river of souls, Doom Knife #2 stashed in an inside pocket of her armor as she wonders what kind of party her other minions crashed.
AH: The Oracle rises from the pool, still clutching her starry globe. She raises one eyebrow at the magmin.

"Well" she says. "Just a moment." Then she raises her right hand - left still holding the globe - and arcs of black lightning shoot out, killing one of the magmin where it stands. The magmin continue to dance, but now they are crying, screaming "Don't kill me mommy!" and "I love you mommy!"
AV: Xil snorts in amusement, and begins to lay out the tomes she retrieved from the "Yugoloth's" lair a safe distance from the magmin.

"Found some writings a sage might find useful. You've been very helpful, so I'm giving you first pick of the spellbooks and gnomish texts I acquired. Whatever you don't want is probably going to Ashazzar on the surface."
AH: {Bide a bit, it looks like you might have some company in Room 00 soonish.}

[Dr_Noface]

Did anything inspire Weaponer (and his wife)? Also, what was the deal with the big worm and his worm headed attendants?

[Whatever]

I don't have time to post all of Cadwyn's PMs now, but here's one from the final fight, when his Magic Missiles hit the big worm:

As the tiny beads of force impact the worm-thing, Cadwyn begins to perceive two thought-streams impinging on his own - one appears to be the surface thoughts of the massive worm-thing...disjointed images and impulses...an image of two Mauve Ones together, male and female...one bears a distinct resemblance to a younger, haler, smaller Thingol, while the other looks disturbingly similar in outline to the pink worm-thing itself...Cadwyn sees the two Mauve Ones arguing over the Matrix, sealing it away, then going their separate ways...a hunger, centuries of hunger, growing and changing in the dark, the young ones hanging off her massive body in the strange underground lake...her babies, she fights for her babies...and then the image of Berry, the terrible injury...she is going to swallow the gnome whole and feel her wriggle down her gullet...

The second thoughstream overrides the first, the strong presence of Ayesha insinuating into Cadwyn's thoughts.

The Ultimate Nullifier...Thingol seeks to unmake this prison, but in doing so he may unmake us all as well. As you value this existence, return to the struggle! Separate him from the Matrix, or all that has happened to you in this place will be lost, undone, as if you never came here!

[JigokuBosatsu]

Berry's visit to the Gnomeworks:

Berry is taken from her reverie by a disturbance from the pool. A very wet and tired drow paladin hauls herself out of the water on shaking legs, shivering in the cool air.

"I...could not...find your friends." The drow grasps. "But...I did...find help."

Behind her, something like a brass globe begins to emerge from the water, a tentacle trailing behind it. As it continues to climb up the bank, Berry sees it has a glass window in front, behind which a whiskered face gawks at her. The short humanoid - for clearly it is a dwarf or gnome of some breed - clambers up on dry ground, and it becomes apparent the brass globe is a helmet of some kind, part of the strange full-body armor it wears, all leather and brass riveted together.

In one heavy gloved hand it holds some sort of box with a handle, which it sets down, then works at a catch on the helmet, and the window opens, revealing a luxurious mustache and goatee, but no beard - definitely a gnome.

"You weren't wrong, lad." The gnome says. "She's a right beauty, even banged up as she is."

Berry vents a surprised toot of steam, then runs up to the gnome and taps on his helmet with a grin. "A bathyvisor! They were still developing them when I left the underwarrens. Some of the old masters said it wouldn't work in anything thinner than mud or sewage, but you obviously got it working." She sags a bit. "Brother, you are a sight for sore optical sensors. I am in dire need of repair."

"Aye, miss. This is beautiful work, though." He bends down to look at her rent. "What a masterful boiler. If I only had you laid out on my table...ah, but I forget my manner. Senior Engineer Hagrid, at your service." He makes as if to doff a cap he isn't wearing. "The young lad here told us about you, and we agreed to take a look. Frankly, we didn't believe him when he described you. Now that I'm here though, I'm afraid the tools I've brought with me won't do a job. Nope, we're going to have to take you back to the workshops and do a proper job of it. The whole shift will want a gander at your gears, and no mistake..."

Having blathered on a bit, the gnome blushes crimson. "Begging your pardon. That is, if you'd like to come with me miss, I think the artificers can get you fixed back up quick-like."

Berry attempts a curtsy in the gnomish fashion, which she abandoned long ago. She winces as the edges of the rent scrapes together. "Master Hagrid, I am pleased to meet you. My name is Berry Ulvostak. Are there more of us around? I'd love to have some potato cakes, if such a thing is to be had in this place. And of course, in exchange for the courtesy of repairs, I'd be glad to model for the engineers. It's only fair."

She turns to the paladin. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that for me. I'm not sure I would have in the same situation."

Berry looks around. "I don't know if my friends can find me- or even if they know where I am anymore, but I would be remiss if I didn't leave a message for them." She draws the Hexenblade and attempts to carve a message on the wall: GONE W/ GNOMES 4 REPAIR, WILL RETURN 2 ORACLE IF CAN.

"We've a Gnomeworks, Miss Berry! You will see. We've done some great things here."

Hagrid brings forth a horn of some sort from his belt, and speaks into it in a dense technicalese. An answering whisper seems to echo from his helmet, which he listens to very carefully.

"Okay, I've told them we're coming back. It's not far, but ah...well, I've only the one suit, and we don't want to get any more water in your gears. But I've brought a bag!" He unrolls a flat length of oilskin lined with gold foil, rather like a sleeping bag. "Completely waterproof. Normally we fill it with air and use it as a flotation bladder - but your weight will counteract the buoyancy, and between the paladin lad and I, we should have you home to the Gnomeworks in a jiffy."

The drow stands and stretches, obviously having gotten her wind back. "I am ready" the youth says.

"Let's go, then."

Berry climbs into the bag, which the gnome seals and inflates. She feels them lift her up, and then the seeping cold and pressure as the bag is submerged. The way is bumpy and seems to take forever, though it must be only a few minutes - how long could the paladin possibly hold her breath for? - and eventually she feels herself lifted up and set against a hard surface, and the bag is opened and she emerges into the world again.

The other side of the pool is an artificial cave of brass and iron plates riveted together in a chessboard pattern, the curving roof meeting the floor and leading to a small balcony. Two gnomes stand by, manning the pump that had provided Hagrid with air, and the haggard-looking drow is retching in the corner. Curious, Berry wanders over to the balcony to look out on the Gnomeworks, but sees only a cloud of steam lit from below by a diffuse glow.

Hagrid comes up next to Berry, the drow trailing far behind. "I've had word to the Chief Engineer, and she'll want to see you soon enough, but for now let's get you into one of the workshops and patch you up, eh?" A lever is set into the floor, and Hagrid grasps the catch and pulls it towards him, and the "alcove" descends like a mine cart on rails, punching through the cloud of steam.

When she was small, Berry saw a cutaway sketch of the Nine Hells - stacked one on top of the other, descending toward some infinite darkness, yet in geometrically perfect balance. This feels much the same. It is a volcanic caldera, at least ten stories deep, with a six-story magma-fall that ends in a glowing pool of molten mineral...and arrayed around this pool are nine levels of workshops, foundaries, distilleries, laboratories, smithies, houses, and shops. A vast chain with adamantine buckets scoops out the glowing lava from the pool, and hoists the cargo into a processing facility high above. All around come the sounds of clanking, banging, the percussion of industry - but it is not a chaotic pattering, but a regular and complex beat, as if every hammer strike and gear change were tied to the same clock.

As they zoom past level after level, Berry catches sight of fungus-garden greenhouses with sunstone lamps, and pools where strange blind fish are brought up, and gnomish girls bedecked with gears of precious stone and metal in place of jewels. Finally, as they near the third level Hagrid eases back on the lever, and the transport shudders to a jolting halt. The drow leans over the rail and is sick again.

"I agree. I'll feel much better when I'm not cloven in twain." She makes the slightest of nods towards the drow. "What's wrong with her?"

"The lad you mean? Oxygen deprivation, maybe fumes. Most of us are used to it." Berry is led to Hagrid's workshop, busy with a half-dozen tinkering apprentices and journeymen, and indicates for Berry to lay down on the worktable - one of the apprentices even provides a leather pillow for her head - and then they get to work. The dutiful, careful gnomes start by measuring and recording every inch of her, inside and out, and soon there are three chalkboards brought in covered with a mechanically and anatomically correct diagram of Berry's innards, highlighting the extent of the damage. Then they get to work with small probes and tools, begging Berry's pardon as they partially disassemble her chassis to remove the dented and damaged portions - at which point a doctor and a chirurgeon are called in, to perform some small necessary surgery and add their medicaments and insight to the process. While some of the technical talk is over her head, Berry picks up phrases like "Fallen tech," "thaumaturgical implants," and "mechano-gnome interface." Finally after much debate, Berry's new parts are ready and brought in - beautifully hand-polished works of steel and brass, chased with adamantine filigree - and installed. [Berry is at full hit points.]

After the repairs are complete, the largest gnome Berry has ever seen makes her way through the crowd, followed by a small crowd of gnomes with clipboards and one bearing what looks like a portable semaphore unit. The large gnome is truly massive - at least five feet broad across the chest, and walks on all fours with massive gorilla-like arms and bowed legs that look to be made from steel; her only clothing is a set of leather coveralls and a heavy toolbelt.

Hagrid coughs and makes the introduction. "May I present Chief Engineer Agnethema Geardottir."

Berry courtseys again, much easier this time. "I am pleased to meet you, Master Agnetha. Thank you-" she looks around the room- "thank all of you. I can't repay you for your kindness, but I hope that I was able to provide some interesting mechanical study."

"We would actually be most grateful," the Chief Engineer rumbles, breasts heaving. "If you would recount to us tales of your adventures in this place."

As if on cue, several apprentices break out notepads, journals, mechanical quills, and other writing utensils.

"It's the strangest thing... before I came here, I had a wild dream. In that dream, I was... a halfling." Waiting for the laughter to die down, she then proceeds to tell her tale, starting with when she was snatched from her apprenticeship with an Underwarren chymist and brought to the Crypts. Berry does not omit mention of her contact with various evil outsiders, but remains vague on any part of that that does not involve mechanics. She makes sure to sound appropriately distressed by the whole business.

"Fascinating," the Chief Engineer says, manipulating the coverall over her massive breasts to remain decent. "And we thank you for your contribution to the Archive. We would like to aid you with your quest...some of the technicians have noted that your design is rather conservative with regard to its tolerances and might be tweaked for maximum performance..." A group of young gnomes working feverishly at mechanical adding machines look up sheepishly, blushing all the while "...but we believe the greatest weakness in your current design is the constant need for fuel to power your boiler. We have a design for a solution - an eternal self-heating element that taps the Elemental Plane of Fire - but to build it would require the heart of the Scrap Dragon which has long plagued our works..."

"Indeed, Master Agnetha. I don't consider myself much of an adventurer, but I suppose as of late..." Berry sets her face in a firm expression. "I'm curious about this dragon. Tell me more... and perhaps I will attempt to make contact with my friends from the Crypts and we will slay it."

The Chief Engineer strokes her chin and adjusts her glasses. Somewhere in the background the chirurgeons and engineers are pointing at different bits of Berry's more intimate anatomy on the background, obviously in a heated argument, which looks about ready devolve into a fistfight.

"They say in the dawn of time, when the metallic dragons were forged on the Anvil of Creation, the Prime Engineer left behind unused bits of gold, silver, copper, bronze, and brass - and that some dark power took these and wrought together the Scrap Dragon. So hideous was the beast that the Prime Engineer set it in this place to guard some fallen foe. It menaced our forebears for ages when first they were first brought here, until a gnome heroine soothed the beast and chained it at the end of a spiraling path filled with terrible traps. There it has remained ever since. Many wonderful gnomish treasures have been taken by other would-be heroes in efforts to slay the beast, but none have ever returned."

"Indeed, that sounds like a mighty-" Berry snaps her head towards the debate. "Is there some finer point I can clarify for you, Masters? I'll be glad to answer you questions in a moment. Or did you want a demonstration?" She turns back to Agnetha with a wink. "I am sorry, Master Agnetha. I know how our boys are when they get a little steam under their heads. I fear that I may not be suitable for dragon-slaying on my own. And I do owe a sort of obligation to my friends in a bid to save one of their souls. If there was any way you could return me to the crypts, I could accomplish that task and gather them to explore the spiral. I'm sure if they were allowed to have a share of some of the standard non-technical dragon's hoard, they'd be more than happy to help the gnomish people of... what is this settlement called? Oh!" Berry seems to have picked up the inspired distractions of her people once more. She fetches her belt pouch and removes the compass from it. "As far as devices go, this one is certainly wondrous. Perhaps your engineers would like to examine it?"

"Don't mind them," the Chief Engineer rumbles. "It's not serious until the potato guns come out. All part of the creative process."

The Chief Engineer fetches out a jeweler's crook studded with glowing crystals and fixes it to her eye to examine the compass. "Dimensional rift aperture proximitor. Mark three. Good stuff," she says handing it back, "though of limited utility here. There is a dimensional ban in place - allows some exotic energies and things through, but it's one-way."

"As for getting you and the Paladin back, I'll have the lads fuel up the gyrocopter. Should only take an hour," she says, raising her voice at the end, and the massed gnomes suddenly vacate to begin tinkering furiously at their workstations. "Meanwhile, do you have any other questions?"

"Only one. Once all this is taken care of... " Berry tries to keep a smile on her face, though she knows that she is likely doomed to die in this place anyway. "... is there room here for a steam-powered former chymist's apprentice?"

The Chief Engineer finally cracks a smile, showing steel teeth. "Of course!"

The two of you chat about inconsequential matters, and then the Chief Engineer guides you to the gyrocopter - a steam-powered three-seater, with Hagrid piloting and the drow occupying the rear seat on the tail.

One of the young engineers runs up to you pushing a cart full of things.

"We've got a...well, we don't want to send you back into the outer world unprepared, so we've got a few supplies for you."

{Sorting through the gear, Berry discovers a set of adamantine gnomish chainmail; a sack with 10 days of gnomish iron rations, a bottle of gnomish vodka, and three bladders of water; a leather vest full of small labeled vials and pouches (2 doses each of acid, alchemist's fire, and antitoxin; a thunderstone, 10 tindertwigs, 2 smokesticks, a sunrod, a tanglefoot bag, and two carefully concealed throwing daggers); a rod of repair light damage (a note says it is fully charged, and the command word is "Fixit"); and a dense cube of metal wire with tiny blinking lights...}

As she regards the last item, the young engineer coughs. "It's...if you want it...you can install it in the slot under your chestplate. It should allow you to tweak your installed settings for maximum efficacy."

{If and only if you're interested, this item provides Berry with the Sculpt Self feat from Dragon Magazine #304, allowing her to spend XP to gain Gear Focus upgrades. These are relatively expensive, but given that you're ECL is so high you can go a long way between leveling up and might want a little boost before then. If you're not interested, ignore it.}

Finally, and with what seems like half the community waving Berry goodbye, she climbs into gyrocopter with her back against the rattling steam engine, and they take off. They fly out over the black sandy desert, traveling west...Berry sees the black pyramid of Thingol and the metallic lake down below, and to the south what looks like a city of black tents, little more than shadows against the sand. Eventually they hover over the opening to Room 00, and Hagrid carefully gets it down as close as he can, then releases what looks like a rope ladder with metal rungs - yet when the rope hits its full extant, it freezes in place, as if each rod was immovable.

[Ancient History]

Did anything inspire Weaponer (and his wife)?

The big red T-rex was loosely based on Devil Dinosaur.



I thought making him married to a normal-sized lady lizard was just fun.

Also, what was the deal with the big worm and his worm headed attendants?

The original Mauve Ones were brought here by Primus to build the Crypts, both to further seal the Chaosbringer (Jack o'Spells) away and to entomb the Fallen, those mechanical lifeforms which had inadvertantly breached the prison searching for the Chaos Cube's power. When the Mauve One's task was complete, Primus sealed the whole dimension, locking them in. Most of the Mauve Ones pooled their powers and life-forces to create an artifact capable of nullifying the prison - the Annullus - and entrusted the two remaining Mauve Ones - Thingol and Shossuluss - to use it. However, by the time it was complete Thingol and Shossuluss had already mated, and feared if they used it that their children would be unmade, so they hid it.

Down through the centuries, the childer of Thingol and Shossuluss grew up influenced by the many cultures of Bluetown and the Crypts, and slowly diminished in spirit, and corrupted by twisted legends of the Chaosbringer and the cosmic parasites which had slipped into this world. Thingol and Shossuluss, meanwhile, had grown old and strange, separated as they were from their normal lifecycle - Thingol becoming the aged giant, while Shossuluss became a worm-mother (equivalent to a neothelid), who spawned each subsequent generation of Mauve Ones. Eventually, the Mauve Ones grew so degenerate that they forcibly separated Thingol and Shossuluss, even though they revered them, and Thingol in particular was tortured for his secrets, and he was unwilling to raise a tentacle to harm his own childer.

Which is where things were for a couple thousand years when Shojiro and Berry happened into the Black Pyramid.

[Red_Rob]

How much of the background did you have worked out before we started and how much was generated in response to player actions / choices? Was the thing with Primus and the Matrix added because Prak decided to play a Transformer?

[Ancient History]

Well...ah, hell, I might as well admit it...while I did start out with a general conception of the layout of the Crypts, for the most part I was making it up on the fly. So yes, Prak's Transformer was largely responsible for the Primus/Fallen angle. If Aracanis ever had found his way to the Crypts of the Fallen, he would have found a shitload of warforged docents and whatnot.

[Prak]

Yeah, I really regret Aracanis biting it, twice, so soon.

[Avoraciopoctules]

Well...ah, hell, I might as well admit it...while I did start out with a general conception of the layout of the Crypts, for the most part I was making it up on the fly.

Is that why the sage the PCs visited in Bluetown was so reluctant to start spouting Culture Focus articles at them? I figured he was just worried saying the wrong thing would make the bosses hit his kill switch.

[Ancient History]

Six of one, half a dozen of another.

[Dr_Noface]

Cool. Were there any encounters or denizens of the crypts that you really looked forward to running but didn't get a chance to?

[Ancient History]

The vampire queens, the Room of Nine Levers, some of the cursed items that the PCs picked up and never used (note: every single item out of the demonic slot machines was cursed), the grandfather of cats' showing off, the dragon-toad...y'know. Stuff.

[Red_Rob]

Well...ah, hell, I might as well admit it...while I did start out with a general conception of the layout of the Crypts, for the most part I was making it up on the fly.

Is there any other way to run a sandbox game?

Having a general idea of what's where and then painting in the details when the players go look is the only way to run a game set over such a large area without relying on published materials (i.e. paying someone else to do the work for you!) isn't it?

[JigokuBosatsu]

Yeah, what was the deal with the cat collar?

[Ancient History]

Collar of Cat's Strength. I can't believe you listened to that cat.