POKEYMANS thread

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue May 14, 2013 9:31 pm

I've been reading the Something Awful LP of the hack game Pokemon Quartz, and it has made me realize something:

I'm naming my character in X/Y Foxy.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu May 16, 2013 1:13 am

I don't think she's particularly sexy. I mean, she's attractive in a generic sort of way, much like a lot of them are. Honestly I never really fancied any of the female player characters in Pokemon, though Dawn (DPPl) was cute in the "adorable" sense with that hat and scarf. Admittedly, BW had the ass-bounce thing when she throws the pokeball, and for BW2 they decided to go "a bit older" (this is fine with me) and "shorter pants".

The customisation might be so you can finally appear as yourself to other players rather than setting yourself to look like a nurse.

Anyway, the Pokemon shown there... don't really excite me. The goat thing looks like one of the musketeer pokemon, the bird is that damn bird that shows up in the starting area (the Pidgey EQ), the others are kind of meh (though I'll give a couple of points for a Shocker Lizard). I'll still get the game of course... after tjecking to see if I need a particular one to get my favourites from former generations.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Thu May 16, 2013 4:44 am

I kind of like the fighting panda.

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Thu May 16, 2013 5:06 am

Eh, Kung-Fu Panda isn't bad or anything, it's just that we already have Ursaring and Beartic: they're ideal users of power moves, why not just make one of them Fighting type? They could really make the most of their high ATT rating that way, and IIRC they already learn a bunch of Fighting attacks.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Thu May 16, 2013 1:44 pm

I never said that the trainer from X/Y was a model of exquisite beauty; I just said she looks hot because that rustles DarthRabbitt's jimmies.

In truth, the only reason I like the female trainers is that for the most part the male trainers look really similar and boring; not one of them is that distinctive. The female trainers, on the other hand, are distinct and unique in appearance.

On a semi-related tangential note, Kris*, the female trainer from Crystal (get it, hurr gurr), is my favorite character design. One of the things I didn't like about the otherwise excellent HeartGold/SoulSilver is the fact that Lyra (the female character from said games) is not Kris.

On another related tangential note, people have often asked me why I've exclusively played female characters in RPG video games. The reason has it's roots way back from when Gold/Silver was first announced: One of the features they mentioned would be in the games was that players could chose there character's gender. I thought this was the shit. At the time, I wasn't particularly interested in actually playing as a female; I just liked that the choice was there.

But when Gold/Silver came out... there was no female character. It had to do something with having to release the game on or before the deadline so they didn't have time to put it in, I think. Regardless, I swore revenge.

So, when Crystal came out, and they finally did put in the choice to play as a female, I decreed that from then on, in any game that offered the choice, I would play a female character to spite the broken promises made for Gold/Silver.

I also always pretend my bicycle is a skateboard.

Finally, on a completely unrelated note, does anyone hear have a working copy of Crystal? I want to use the Celebi Egg Glitch, but I don't want to fuck up my game. So, I was wondering if anyone here has used it before, or if they know someone who has, and give me some pointers on how to use it successfully. I also want to know if it's safe to use (i.e. using it won't fuck up my game, even if I do it right). I don't want to destroy one of my favorite games just to get a rare Pokémon.

*So I know the canonical names of the female trainers from all the games (Kris, May, Leaf, Dawn, Hilde, Rosa). Big deal.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Mon May 20, 2013 10:25 pm

It's been a slow day, so I'll share some useless shit. Deal with it.

So, sometime soon me, Darth, and several people who don't exist on the Den will be playing a Pokémon RPG, using some system or another that one of our group found (Darth would know more about it than I).

This being the case, and also being the first actual game of any sort since the Blitzwing Campaign imploded a horrible, painful death, I figured that I'd post some shit about it, since it's all Pokémon-y and shit.

Anyway, here's the list of players:

Me. I'm playing the heroine from Crystal who has an obsession with dog Pokémon. Also, my rival in the game is the same as in real life: Pokémon Quartz. For reelz.

Darth. He's playing a cross-dressing trainer who is totally not based on anything ever. Also, the picture I used as his portrait is totally not related to the character he's playing.

(For the sake of anonymity, the other players shall be glitch Pokémon. Why? 'Cause I can.)

Missingno. - The DM/GM/MC/etc. and a total corker. He's the one who discovered the system we're going to use, and is running the game.

Bad EGG - ERROR 404: Person Does Not Exist. I have no idea who or what he'll be playing. He looks like the puppet from Devil Doll.

and

pPKMNp' ' - A regular in our group. I don't know what he's playing either.

Additionally, there may be a sixth person, depending on level of interest:

- A semi-regular whose propensity for bringing up bizarre and unholy hentai pictures with his phone and leading people to dark, evil corners of the internet with said pictures is matched only by his love and obscene knowledge of roller coasters. I don't know if he'll join us or not.

If people want, I could start a thread detailing our misadventures in the strange land of POKYMANZ table-top RPGs.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Mon May 20, 2013 10:49 pm

Shrapnel talks about RPG sessions we attend before they have happened, apparently his trainer class is Psychic although his character is not trolololo

Shrapnel wrote: Also, the picture I used as his portrait is totally not related to the character he's playing.

Actually, it's not, although the pose and general appearance is very similar:

At least the "Are you a boy? Or a girl?" coming from Professor Oak makes sense now, which is a long-running joke with me, Shrapnel, and probably the rest of the Interwebs by now.

I found out there's an Advanced Class that allows you to disguise as inanimate objects, which reminded me of this.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Mon May 20, 2013 11:42 pm

Darthy wrote:Shrapnel talks about RPG sessions we attend before they have happened

Like I said, it was a slow day.

Prak · Post by **Prak** » Tue May 21, 2013 6:24 am

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue May 21, 2013 1:11 pm

Sugimori deserves this:

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Tue May 21, 2013 7:00 pm

Welp, I've finished reading the LP of Pokémon Quartz, and I gotta say, that was some funny-ass shit. I'm actually really sad that it's over.

Also, Zorak interviewed Baro, the creator of the hack, at the end. Turns out, he's not that bad a guy, and has even said that he thinks the LP is extremely funny. I like a person who can laugh at themselves, even if they make... things like Quartz. So, all the hatred I had toward Baro and Quartz is mostly gone now, replaced with a grudging respect, which also makes me sad.

...Wait, that means that I have to completely overhaul Kris' character. Fuck. Once more Baro thwuartz (geddit?) my plans.

BAAAARRROOOO!!!!!

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Wed May 22, 2013 11:48 pm

So I read that Let's Play, and I have to say Quartz just honestly comes off like a less subtle, poorly translated Black/White with a rejected Gen III or Gen IV criminal organization that's still better than Team Plasma.

I was expecting something far more horrible (like Pokegirls horrible) from the way you went on about it, Shrapnel.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Thu May 23, 2013 6:43 pm

I never said it was worse than Pokegirls. I just said it was incredibly stupid.

Seriously, this is the villianous teams plan:

Quartz LP wrote:The sun is expanding because a group of Russian Circus Mechanics who wanted to power up electric Pokemon ended up finding a god of chaos and used a rod made out of Quartz to awaken it in order to inflate the sun to power up electric Pokemon. This being after they tried using a dragon bone, a broken ghost detector, and other means to do the same thing.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Thu May 23, 2013 7:05 pm

I know you never compared Quartz and Pokegirls, I just thought from how stupid you said Quartz was that it was going to be much more horrible than it actually turned out to be.

And I'm aware of the stupidity of BAND AMBAR's plan; that's why I said that they are like rejected Gen III/Gen IV villains, but I stand by my earlier statement that they're still less stupid than the whole Black/White super preachy pseudo-philosophical bullshit.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri May 24, 2013 1:28 pm

Oh, I agree that Team Plasma is even stupider than Team Ambar (not a typo). I mean, I don't think it's possible for anyone to top just how awfully retarded they were.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Fri May 24, 2013 2:14 pm

How about Team Fan, which is entirely dedicated to running interference for an asshole who thinks he's the greatest thing ever, so it's only after much hard work of getting past his fans that you can even get to him for a battle.

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Fri May 24, 2013 4:11 pm

Team Pokefucker (Alder, Cheren, Bianca, and Professor Juniper) was stupider, but even though they're clearly the most evil Pokemon characters ever a villainous team they're not actually a criminal organization that can be fought.

I have no idea what Team Fan is; it doesn't come up in a quick Google search, and if it's something obvious that I'm not getting that's because I'm really fucking tired and am about to go to sleep for the entire afternoon.

EDIT: fixed typo. I sleep now.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Fri May 24, 2013 4:56 pm

I made it up on the spot as an example of something that'd be a pain in the ass to endure.

Seriously, Team Aqua's "We're expanding the oceans to give people more beaches" argument was sort of...

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Fri May 24, 2013 7:21 pm

I made a breakdown of all the villainous teams, 'cause I was bored:

WARNING: BIAS APPROACHING

GEN I/GEN II: Team Rocket

Leader: Giovanni, the quintessential Pokémon bad guy and mob/bakuto boss who wears a bitchin' hat in later games. Also (spoiler!) the eight Gym Leader in the Kanto League. Has a soft spot for ground and poison types. Comes up with a variety of Saturday morning cartoon schemes of dastardly villainy. Get's defeated by kids a lot. Has (more spoilers!) a son: Silver, the rival from Gold/Silver/Crystal. Likes Pikachu, Persian, and Mewtwo wearing a pimpin' ass suit of bitchin' armor.. Dislikes duos named after Western banditos. Also, he has made an appearance in every generation to date.

Goal:

Team Rocket wrote:Prepare for trouble!
Make it double!
To protect the world from devastation!
To unite all peoples within our nation!
To denounce the evils of truth and love!
To extend our reach to the stars above!
Jessie!
James!
Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!
Surrender now or prepare to fight!
Meowth! That's right!

My Analysis: What else is there to say? The greatest, hammiest, most beloved villainous team that paved the way for the rest to come, Team Rocket is remembered by most as the bumbling duo from the anime. However, what most people don't realize is that Team Rocket is also the only team that have actually wield whips and kill Pokémon. GASP! Also, they're the only team to have appeared in three different generations. As a final note, in various media, the membership of Team Rocket has included: Blaine, Koga, Lt. Surge (can't trust those damn Americans!) and Sabrina.

GEN III: Team Aqua/Magma

Leaders: Archie (Aqua)/Maxie (Magma). They wish to awaken Kyogre/Groudon in order to expand the sea/land so as to create new habitats for Pokémon. They aren't evil, which is unusual for villainous team leaders, because they truly believe that they are doing the right thing, with the ends justifying the means.

Goal: Use various means to awaken version mascot legendary to flood the world and/or create an eternal drought. Inevitably, both teams realize that they in the wrong and that their goals are ultimately going to destroy the world. Yes, the plan is stupid, but keep in mind that in Gen III, the Pokémon games were still in the era of "Have fun, catch Pokémon, stop bad guys, and beat the fuck out of anyone who gets in your way", so they didn't need to have a Team with a well-thought out plan. I mean, Team Rockets plans were never that brilliant either (what the hell did they need the Silph Scope for? Why did they need to invade the Pokémon Tower? etc., etc.)

My Analysis: I actually liked the Teams from Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald, despite their inherent goofiness: They have the distinct honor of realizing they are not helping people, and aren't actually evil, just misguided. That, and it's really cool that there's two teams fighting against each other.

GEN IV: Team Galactic

Leader: Cyrus, an emotionless dude who wants to use the legendaries to create a new universe for vaguely defined reasons that had something to do with rewriting the current universe, or something. Named all his admins after Sailor Scouts.

Goal: Pretty much the same as Team Aqua/Magma (awaken version specific mascot legendary to create a new world), only on a larger scale. Personally, I thought they were a bit boring, since there had already been a villainous team that sought to create/recreate the world. Also, there wasn't much that was memorable about them (or Gen IV in general, excepting the Gen II remakes).

My Analysis: Team Galactic was, as I said, mostly a rehash of Team Aqua/Magma, but they were missing the goofy, Saturday-Morning cartoon hamminess that made previous teams so fun.

GEN V: Team Plasma

Leaders: N, a young man who was orphaned as a child and raised by Pokémon and later Ghestis. Claims to be able to talk to Pokémon, and doesn't believe that humans should force them to fight, and is awful preachy about it. Also, he speaks really, really fast.
Ghestis, true leader of Team Plasma, wears a ridiculous looking coat, and used N as a front for his nefarious scheme to, you guessed it, rule the world and yadda yadda yadda.

Goal: To liberate Pokémon from their trainers and set them free. They do this by stealing them. Seriously. The whole thing reads like one of those stupid, unnecessarily grim-dark Pokémon fanfics.

My Analysis: Anything that makes Team Ambar and their goals seem reasonable is just... just... I really can't think of anything that can fully capture just how fucking bad the plot of Black/White is.

GEN VI -

(Or, Team Whoever They Are, They Won't Be Team Plasma)

Whatever the evil team of X/Y is, they most certainly cannot be as bad as Team Plasma or Black/White. You can only go up from such horrible depths.

Or, one would hope...

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Fri May 24, 2013 8:02 pm

Shrapnel wrote:I made a breakdown of all the villainous teams, 'cause I was bored:

If you're bored, you can message me to discuss the game you mentioned earlier, since it hasn't started yet.

Shrapnel wrote:GEN I/GEN II: Team Rocket

Nitpicks: Giovanni didn't actually appear in Gen II, although he did appear in a special event in Heart Gold/Soul Silver.

I mean, Team Rockets plans were never that brilliant either (what the hell did they need the Silph Scope for? Why did they need to invade the Pokémon Tower? etc., etc.)

Team Rocket, as far as I can tell, didn't need the Silph Scope for anything; Giovanni just took it for shits and giggles, presumably while taking over Silph Co. (I assume the takeover occurred before you fight Giovanni the first time, since it's implied that Silph is being attacked by Rockets before that.)

Same goes for Pokemon Tower.

Being the only people who could catch Ghost Pokemon could come in useful if your plan is to acquire rare Pokemon and use them for world domination, though.

And they're at Mt. Moon to get Fossils and revive them into Pokemon.

GEN IV: Team Galactic

Leader: Cyrus, an emotionless dude who wants to use the legendaries to create a new universe for vaguely defined reasons that had something to do with rewriting the current universe, or something. Named all his admins after Sailor Scouts.

Goal: Pretty much the same as Team Aqua/Magma (awaken version specific mascot legendary to create a new world), only on a larger scale. Personally, I thought they were a bit boring, since there had already been a villainous team that sought to create/recreate the world. Also, there wasn't much that was memorable about them (or Gen IV in general, excepting the Gen II remakes).

My Analysis: Team Plasma was, as I said, mostly a rehash of Team Aqua/Magma, but they were missing the goofy, Saturday-Morning cartoon hamminess that made previous teams so fun.

Don't insult Team Galactic by calling them Team Plasma.

It's a fucking crime to call anything that is not Team Plasma that (the exception being other Gen V bullshit.)

Team Galactic thought they were making a perfect world for themselves.

Cyrus wanted to destroy the old universe and create a new one because he thought it was too problematic to fix.

I actually liked Team Galactic; they were comic book villains instead of Saturday morning cartoon villains, but that's perfectly cool.

They realized that having increasingly powerful legendaries with fucking ridiculous powers could make you literally blow up the universe if you had said powers.

Also, they were in Gen IV, which I consider the best generation.

The only real problem I found with them is that there's not much to go up from "save the universe."

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Sat May 25, 2013 12:34 am

Darthy wrote:Don't insult Team Galactic by calling them Team Plasma.

It was a typo, fool. No ever typos me!

Team Galactic thought they were making a perfect world for themselves.

So did Team Aqua/Magma, you ponderous oaf, just on a smaller scale.

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Sat May 25, 2013 1:44 am

It was a normal day, just like any other. But there was also something different about today; the winds of destiny were blowing through the sleepy little town where I lived.

I got up and ate my breakfast of Cinnabar Volcano Burgers and sweet, sweet LEMONADE. I gave my mom my quick kiss and a hug goodbye; there were tears welling in her eyes: tears of sadness... yet also happiness and pride. Her little girl was growing up, and going out into the world to become a... TRAINER.

I attached my katana to my belt, put 3000 in my wallet, put on my bag, and walked outside, taking my first step into a new world. I was going to the Pokémon Lab, where Prof. Tree Elm worked. It was there that my journey, my destiny was going to begin to unfold.

As I made my way towards the lab, there was some movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention: A shadow, moving almost too fast to be seen, rushed past me before I knew what was going on. All I could catch was a blur of yellow, and the smell of ozone. Although I did not see it fully, I knew it could be but only one thing:

Raikou.

Ever since I was a small Johtoian squeet, I had dreamed of seeing this legendary beast. I knew, then, that seeing Raikou on my first day of being on Trainer was a sign, a sign that I would be the very best that there ever was. I also made a small, silent vow to myself: I would chase Raikou, to the ends of the world if need be, and that I would finally see it for reelz.

Thus resolved, I walked boldly into the lab, where Prof. Elm and his assistant waited. They both greeted me warmly, and after dispensing pleasantries, Prof. Elm invited me to pick my first Pokémon: one of the most important decisions that a Trainer will make in their lives. The first partner that a Trainer picks would be with them forever, growing with their Trainer, ultimately becoming one of their most formidable Pokémon, and closest friend.

Unless, y'know, you got an event Pokémon or something and your starter just fell by the wayside.

But I didn't have an event Pokémon, because this is Gen II and the last event was like over a decade ago. Oops, I going to meta. Better dial it back.

Anyway, I picked a Growlithe as my first partner, for two reasons: The first is that I've always been partial towards dogs, and the second is that there was something about this Growlithe, something special, as though the hand of fate was guiding me toward this path.

After getting acquainted with my new Pokémon, I gave it the name Archy, because it felt right.

Afterward, Prof. Elm gave me a Pokédex and six Pokéballs, and sent me off on my journey,.

Thus, armed with the tools of trade, and with my new partner and friend, I set off on my journey, ready for anything that may come...

I've decided to serialize the adventures that will be had in the Pokémon D20 that's happening Sunday in prose format. Because I can, really.
That was part zero, an introduction of sorts.

Also, at some point, this will happen:

Darth Rabbitt · Post by **Darth Rabbitt** » Sat May 25, 2013 1:48 am

(fbmf, Can I request that Shrapnel's and my posts on our upcoming Pokemon Tabletop campaign be moved to a new thread in In The Trenches?)

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sat May 25, 2013 2:10 am

Don't forget all the other games! I expect to see a write-up for Nobunaga, and for Treecko+Darkrai, and for... did Pokemon: Circle-Drawing have villains in it?

Shrapnel · Post by **Shrapnel** » Sat May 25, 2013 9:41 pm

Koumei wrote:Don't forget all the other games! I expect to see a write-up for Nobunaga, and for Treecko+Darkrai, and for... did Pokémon: Circle-Drawing have villains in it?

Wait, do you want me to write up the villainous teams from the various spin-offs, or do you want me to scratch my head in confusion over what the hell Treecko+Darkrai and Pokémon: Circle-Drawing are?

I mean, I could the former, but only with the GameCube games (Colosseum and XD: Gale of Darkness), the Pokémon: Ranger series, and the first Mystery Dungeon, which didn't really have a villainous team, per se. I could do Pokémon: Conquest (or ポケモン＋ノブナガの野望, if you prefer), but it would require more work, on my part.

But seriously, da fuck are Treecko+Darkrai and Pokémon: Circle-Drawing?